A/N: Just a quick oneshot that simply attacked me unawares. I don't know if it's any good, but it wouldn't let me rest until I had written it. It just seemed to fit on Tony and Pepper. I hope I kept it in character, but if not, I don't regret that since I like the end product.
Warnings: Some light swearing, but nothing too heavy^^
Disclaimer: I do not use the song or the characters for Iron Man, though I'd love to have Jarvis! I'm simply borrowing!
Summary: A song holds a slight relevation for Tony...
All spelling errors found may be kept, since english is not my native tongue. I did proof-read it, but its possible that I overlooked one or two typos. Reviews also equal in one very happy writer!
And now on with it!
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
You and me
The silence only was broken by the sounds of screws being forced in, tools placed on tables, the slight whirr of the bots moving throughout the workshop, and occasional clanks and beeps. Other than that, the workshop was silent.
It took Tony Stark a while to recognize the fact, but when he did, he set the screwdriver down and glanced up. It was something that he hadn't experienced before Afghanistan. Silence. Before, he had always used sound as a means of distraction, were it the roar of an engine, the blaring of rock music or even the moans of yet another nameless female with long legs and little brains.
But now, after so many days being forced to work without all these distractions, he found that silence actually was very nice. It was soothing even. Back in the cave, silence had been vital. It had been used to hear footsteps coming to the door. It had been used to keep the memory of gunshots away. It had given him time to contemplate things instead of obscuring them.
And now, as he was back home, bent over his desk and working away on the suit he had created, it was soothing. When it was silent he could hear Pepper walking around upstairs. He could hear her heels clicking on the marble floor wherever she was. At night he could hear the waves breaking on the shoreline below his balcony.
But just tonight, the silence seemed oppressive. He couldn't hear Pepper or the waves. He couldn't hear anything except the sounds of the bots and the beeping of the electronics around him and suddenly that was not enough to drown out his thoughts anymore.
Right now, silence didn't focus him, didn't soothe him anymore. His thoughts strayed and whirled in his head enough to make him close his eyes and heave a sigh. Immediately Pepper's image pounded back into his consciousness, berating him for staying up so long, for not eating, for barely sleeping. And of course, she was right, as she so often was. He should sleep more, should eat more than just occasional bites or the lunches she forced him to eat, he shouldn't work so damn hard. Sighing, he realised there was no way for his thoughts to stop spinning unless he had some distraction.
"Jarvis?" he asked without moving, knowing the AI had monitored his progress for the past couple of hours. If indeed he had monitored the project itself and not him as Pepper had asked him to.
"Yes Sir?" he heard the mildly interested voice coming from all around him. It was strange, somewhere along the line, Jarvis had managed to imitade emotions enough to make them apparent whenever he spoke. And those simulated attempts at passing as a human and not a computer were also responsible for both Tony and Pepper to refer to Jarvis as "him", not "it".
"Put up some music, would you?"
"Of course, Sir. What would you like to hear? Should I bring up the folders so you can choose an album?" As soon as he'd stopped talking, one of the monitors to the left sprung back to life, already displaying his music folder, which was incredibly large in itself. Most of it filled with rock music or heavy metal. Only he didn't feel in the mood for Rock or Metal tonight and couldn't possibly choose anything.
"Tell you what, just turn on some radio station. I don't care what, just as long as it isn't country music." he ordered lightly, turning away from the screen to concentrate on the work in front of him again.
There was the slightest hesitation in response from Jarvis (it happened whenever Tony told him to decide himself) before some song started to play and Jarvis turned up the volume.
Relieved that the silence and the thoughts coming with it were conquered for the moment, Tony concentrated on his work again. Three songs passed, during which he was able to completely drown out everything but his work, even Pepper. But when he realized this, it was already too late, his redhaired assistant invaded his thoughts yet again. He sometimes pictured her walking in her six inch stilettos through his head, occasionally bumping into his thoughts or pushing something. Usually when he did so, his thoughts ceased and he focused on Pepper instead. So it was now, just as a the station got into a commercial block. There was something different about her these days, there had been something different for a while, and not just since he had come back from hell, also known as Afghanistan. But only recently he started to see it, started to watch her more closely. She had been on his mind constantly while he was held captive. He had often wondered if she had missed him, had cried for him, had refused to give up on him when everyone else had. More than once he had been tempted to ask, but he'd always drawn back, oddly fearful f the answer.
Soft guitar chords filtered through his mind as the next song started and he finally gave up on the work, choosing to focus on something else. He'd only wire something the wrong way and zig where he was supposed to zag; so choosing to listen to the song seemed like a good idea.
What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive...
A pleasant male voice rang through the workshop, accompanied by the simple sound of a guitar being played. Almost it sounded like being an unplugged version of some rock ballad and he lent back to put his feet up on the desk in front of him, closing his eyes and listened to the lyrics.
I can't keep up and I can't back down. I've been losing so much time...
Boy that sounded familiar to Tony. There was no going back for him anymore, not after what he had seen. Not after what he had experienced himself. Not in business and not in life. He'd had it all and all it took to re-evaluate his life had been the simple statement of a doctor in a cave. A man who had everything and yet nothing. Yinsen had been right after all, he really had nothing he could call his own that was actually worth something. He had lost far too much time, both in his professional and his personal life.
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose...
Pepper sprang to mind again as he listened to that. Sometimes it did feel as if it really was just Pepper and him against the world. She always was there, covering up for him when he was behaving like a total ass (though granted that hadn't happened since he got back), shielding him from the press when they demanded explanations (which had increased drastically), Pepper was always there. And he was grateful for her presence.
And it's you and me and all other people. And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you...
That was true too, he hadn't been able to not stare at her since she had worn that amazing blue dress at that damn benefit. In that moment, when he had realised that that beautiful female being across the room was Pepper, something deep inside him had clenched. She had looked more than stunning, more than fantastic, more than words could have described. With all that soft light playfully bounding off her white skin, casting reflections on her fiery hair, she had looked simply indescribable. And since then, he hadn't been able to look at her without feeling that now familiar tugging somewhere in his chest cavity. It was weird, he'd never felt that while Pepper had been close. But now he felt it.
All of the things that I want to say, just aren't coming out right...
He had tried before to grasp that feeling and explain it. After all, he was Tony Stark, he lived for figuring things out, but this little feeling he couldn't explain. He'd wanted to tell Pepper how much he liked seeing her, how much he depended on her to be near him, how much he craved for the moment when she would walk through his doors again, prattling on about meetings and schedules. He wanted to tell her how much he loved that, but somehow the words wouldn't come. And everything he could imagine he wold say, sounded either sleazy or innappropriate. So he had given up on trying to tell her anything and contended himself to relish in those moments.
I'm tripping on words, you've got my head spinning...
That actually was another new thing he had discovered. Whereas before Hell, he'd been able to waffle on and on with her, both of them multi-tasking by both speaking and listening. But now, he simply wanted to hear her talk and be silent himself. Not that he hadn't anything to say, he'd just discovered that that calm indifferent mask he had worn before now didn't fit anymore. He was changed and said change included talking to Pepper. He found himself grasping for the right words to use, failing miserably and ending up being quiet anyway. But whenever she was near, he simply wanted her to stay, to never leave his side again, if only to calm him down. Thoughts chased each other around his head constantly, but when Pepper was there, it seemed like they all suddenly revolved around her.
I don't know where to go from here...
He really didn't know. He knew a lot of things, but the answer to that eluded him completely. Essentially he had two choices, either try and explain things to Pepper, telling her that he could not stop thinking of her and that he rather liked that fact. Or he could be silent and ignore it for the sake of their working relationship, which was what had kept him alive for the better part of ten years. But then again, he didn't want that. But he didn't want it to change either. Now he understood why this confused so many people, he was close to slamming his head onto the desk in the hopes of clearing the chaos in his mind.
There's something about you now, I can't quite figure out...
He'd caught her looking at him sometimes and always the look was not something he had seen on Pepper's face before. She had been there when he had first disassembled the suit, had checked him for bruises or blood (though there was little of the latter and more of the former) and something in her eyes had caught his attention. She almost looked pained herself, even though he had been the one getting injured. And after that her eyes had sometimes focussed on him whenever she thought he wouldn't notice. Problem was he did notice. And it confused the hell out of him. He couldn't understand the look in her eyes, sometimes she looked at him as if he might vanish any second and she only wanted to preserve a mental image of him. Sometimes she looked exasperated, more so than usual and it felt as if she worried for him. And sometimes, very rarely he caught her looking at him with a hopeless expression. As if she was looking at something she couldn't have. He wondered if did that too and if anyone noticed it.
Everything she does is beautiful...
Even seeing Pepper Potts stir her coffee was fascinating. The way she sat and typed e-mails, when she was on the phone with someone, the way she used to talk to the robots as if they were actual beings, not wirings and processors. Even an act so simple as breathing seemed like the most amazing thing he'd ever witnessed. Her walking, sitting, standing, smiling, frowning; every single aspect of her that made her the Pepper he knew was interesting to see and he realised he craved for more. He wanted to see her do something, even while she did seemingly nothing. Just having her breathing was enough for him.
Everything she does is right...
Pepper never does things wrong. Whatever she did, it was always the right thing to do. Simple as that.
'Cause its you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to prove...
It always boiled down to that. Only the two of them. Him and Pepper. Pepper and him. Nothing more and nothing less. Tony and Pepper. Smiling he acknowledged that it did have a nice ring to it.
And its you and me and all of the people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you.
It was then that suddenly the solution came to him. The solution to that strange pulling sensation in his chest that grew stronger when she was near, the glances he snuck at her, the way he wanted to have her around him all the time. It suddenly made sense. His mind flew back to the moment when he walked off the plane, his frame supported by Rhodey, the moment he saw her radiant smile after three months of being deprived of it. It was then that he had felt like he was home. The moment he had caught sight of her. And since then, she had inched ever closer, of maybe he had. Not that it mattered really. All he knew right now, the only thing he was finally certain about, in all its painful clarity; was that he needed Pepper Potts around him or he'd go insane. Not because she reminded him to sleep or eat or told him which tie matched best with the suit she picked out.
He needed Pepper around because without her he felt like he was suffocating. Like he was drowning all over again.
He needed her because he loved her.
His eyes opened wide suddenly as his brain zeroed in on that thought and repeated it over and over. Because he loved her. Because he loved her. Because he loved her.
Because Tony loved Pepper.
Finis
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Regards,
Callie