"For England James?"
Alec's final words keep ringing in my head. Why did I kill the man who was once my friend? Why did I not let him live? How could I do such a thing? What did I have to gain by killing him?
Trevelyan was my friend, that much is certain. But he betrayed me and our country. For that I can't forgive him. He forgot our friendship and turned on me. No, not just me but England too.
If I went back to that day, would I do things differently? Would I save him? Could I forgive him for what he did? Would I be selfish and still answer him, 'No, for me.' and let him go? These are the things I can't answer yet.
Maybe in time I'll be able to answer these questions, but for now I can't. Why, oh why did I kill my best friend? Was it really for me? Or did I have some other motive? Maybe I was just mad at him for his betrayal.
Or maybe it was something more. Whatever it was will haunt me till my death. I'll never stop hearing Alec's voice in my head asking "For England James?"