Match-Maker?
Rating: T for quite a bit of bad language.
Summary: Sakura is determined to have Sasuke before she turns twenty. The only problem, she's got four months to go. Enter Inuzuka Kiba, match-maker extraordinaire, he can make anyone yours- 100% guarantee. Sakura enlists Kiba's help, her main criteria: to have Sasuke on her arm by her 20th birthday.
"I heard you're the best."
These words broke me out of my reverie as I found myself face to face with someone I never expected. Small and lithe with rosy tresses framing a pale face and vibrant green eyes, Haruno Sakura of the Kunoichi Sorority at Konoha U, was coming to me for help.
"I'm sorry. Can I help you?" I asked, intrigued. She'd gone out of her way to find me where I lay in a secluded spot on campus. Large silver birches and oaks enclosed the area, their wide foliage providing apt shade when it's hot. Not many people knew of this little green haven, making it perfect for someone like me.
"You areInuzuka Kiba?" She shot back another question, an exasperated note in her voice.
I flashed her one of my trademark grins with just a hint of fang- full on cheekiness for the ladies- as I stood to stretch.
"That's the name my mother gave me." I replied, winking at her as I put out my hand.
She in turn gave me a dry look and ignored my outstretched hand.
Burnt! And I'd only just met her.
She sighed putting a hand to her rather large forehead- clearly this woman wasn't particularly patient. Shaking her head slightly, she turned to leave.
"Wait." I called, suddenly alarmed that I might lose a customer.
She gave me a pointed look but stopped leaving. I got the message loud and clear, 'refrain from being such an asshole' – gotcha!
"I need your help."
"State your business." I said, hands up in a gesture of peace. Relax pinky, I don't bite.
She perched delicately on a bench opposite from where I was sat. We wait as she composed her thoughts, just when I was about to ask if there was a problem, she opened her mouth.
"You must swear not to breath a word of this to anyone." She hissed, eyes narrowed. I've heard of her infamous temper through the grapevine but I decided to see how far I could push it.
"What will you do if I don't?"
The pinkette stood up, eyes flashed and I could've sworn I heard her knuckles cracking as she clenched her fists. Evidently not very far.
"Relax. It's 100% confidentiality." I said, my curiosity thickening.
Da-mn! I'd hate to get on the wrong side of her.
"Ok. Well, I'm turning twenty soon." She started, my eyebrows furrowed- so what, I'm already there, it's not that bad.
"And," she continued, "I made myself a promise that he would be mine before I hit that digit and well......" She trailed off and looked up at me.
"He?" I queried.
"Uchiha Sasuke." She replied, turning a brilliant shade of pink.
"Ah." Why wasn't I surprised? Of course, this Sasuke was the most desired male from all the female populace at Konoha U, hell even the whole of town. Being from a prestigious family there was no wonder everyone wanted him- I don't see what they saw in that cold bastard.
"So you want me to get the two of you together?" I clarified, it seemed I was dealing with a fan-girl here.
"Yes." She affirmed.
"Okay."
"Wait, you're not gonna ask any questions."
"No." I smirked. "If you're coming to me, you must be pretty damn desperate."
She shot me a dirty look.
If looks could kill.
"How much?" She asked.
"How much do you think this worth?" I asked back, this was the deal-breaker. Most people if given the opportunity to choose would go for the cheapest option available, hell some of them would go for free. So if she said that , the deal was off. Not because I was greedy, but I needed to know how serious she was. The money was irrelevant.
"Everything I have." Sakura replied, without missing a beat.
I smiled, clearly I was dealing with a very serious fan-girl, things were going to get real interesting.
"You won't be disappointed." I said. "I guarantee 100% satisfaction."
She gave me a withering look but shook my hand nonetheless.
"So who am I helping?" I asked, knowing full well who she was.
She stared at me stunned.
Things were going to get real interesting, indeed.
The nerve of that guy. How could he? I fumed as I made my way toward the quad. How could he not know who I am!!!!
I took a deep breath to compose myself, took out my compact mirror to make sure my hair wasn't out of place. Perfect!
"Sakura!" A sing-song voice called.
I turned to find my perfect blonde- bitch- arch nemesis, I mean best friend coming towards me.
"Ino." I called back, perfect grin in place. Thank god I got my teeth fixed.
"Where were you?" Ino asked after giving me a quick embrace.
"Studying." I lied. It was the only excuse I could get away with, since Ino would never be caught dead in the library. So how did she get into university, I hear you ask. Money and looks can get you a long way and with a history of Yamanaka women in the Kunoichi Sorority- that was a legacy you didn't want to mess with. Ino's a sure foot for Sorority President next year- bitch!
"Studying!?" She exclaimed in dismay. "Why don't you pay someone to do it for you? There are plenty of nerds, who would die for an opportunity to serve us kunoichi women."
I sighed. Sometimes I wondered why I put up with her.
"I'm pre-med. I need to study. I'm not just here to socialise, this is my future!"
She just shook her head at me.
"Come on, forehead. Let's par-taay!!" Ino grabbed my arm and dragged me off to one of the myriad parties to occur at Konoha U.
Seriously what did these people think university was for!?
"Oh yeah, by the way. What are you doing tomorrow? Cos Naruto's throwing a get-together and I know for a fact that Sasuke is gonna be there."
"Don't you have work to do?" I asked, knowing the answer to that.
"That's what Takada is for. So?"
Tomorrow! Wait, Inuzuka asked me to meet him tomorrow......damn.
"I've got a paper due." I lied again. Oh god, don't look at me, I'm a lousy liar.
"You study-whore."
"Have fun."
I waited in front of the coffee shop at the appointed time. Glancing at my watch, I groaned. She was late. Damn, I should've got her number.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a mass of pink.
She's taking her freaking time.
"You're late." I called, more than a little pissed. She didn't even have the gall to look sorry.
"And what?"
"Come on, Haruno. We haven't got all day."
We entered the coffee shop. I ordered a double choc mocha- extra foamy- she ordered a skinny latte.
"A skinny latte?" I asked incredulously- girls these days, they didn't eat.
"That's none of you business." She snapped. "Your job is to help me win Sasuke."
Uchiha, of course. I smiled at the girl as we took our table.
"So what now?" She said.
"We do a little recon." I replied.
"Recon?"
"Yeah, what do you know about Uchiha?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"Just answer it!"
"Well, Sasuke's perfect!" She gushed as her eyes turned dreamy- gross. "He's so intelligent, and he's kind not to mention totally drool-worthy."
Drool-worthy? Did I hear that correctly.
"A guy like you would never understand. I mean, Sasuke's tall and his hair is so dark and the way it falls into his eyes- so sexy. And he's got a body to die for...." She gave a little giggle, okay I was not going to be able to eat dinner that night.
"He's the pinnacle of male perfection." She finished.
"And he's rich." I added, feeling a little green. Girls are so shallow.
"What about it?"
"Money's always attractive." I said sardonically.
"You're just jealous." She fumed.
"Whatever. Clearly you don't know a thing about Uchiha." I said.
Her face dropped.
"And his hair looks like a duck's butt." I added in spite, watching as her eyes flashed at the comment.
Wow, this was going to be fun.
"Look, you were just describing his looks. Do you honestly know anything about him? His likes? Dislikes?"
"Well." She stalled.
"Have you ever had a conversation with him?"
"We went to high school together." She supplied.
Shit. This was going to be harder than I thought.
I looked at the guy sitting across from me in shock. His hair was an unruly brown mass and his clothes looked bedraggled, oh and don't get me started on those red triangular tattoos on his cheeks. Who did he think he was? Sure he was kind of good-looking in a rugged sort of way, and I guess his hair wasn't too bad and his tattoos were kind of cool..... but I'm getting off topic here.
That wasn't why I was staring at him in complete astonishment.
I've known Sasuke practically my whole life and I've always thought myself an authority on all things Uchiha.
Hell, in junior high I was teamed with Sasuke and that blond idiot Naruto for a project.
But looking back now....
Holy crap!
"Well, this is gonna be difficult." He said, looking a little queasy.
You're telling me? This is a disaster. But.....
I narrowed my eyes, giving Inuzuka a sardonic smile.
"You guaranteed 100% satisfaction. I'm not feeling particularly satisfied." I said in a dangerous tone.
He put up his hands in a placating gesture.
"All I said was it's gonna be difficult. I didn't say it was impossible." He smirked, showing pointed fangs that looked like he'd taken a file to.
"Come on." He stood up, paying for the bill. As he should! "I guess we're going to do a little recon."
"Yo, Kiba." A loud voice yelled in my ear. "Haven't seen you around?"
I shoved the arm that was slung around my neck.
"What's up Naruto?" I asked, the sprawled blond nursing his bruised rib.
"Did you have to shove me so hard?" The blond scowled. I simply shrugged at that.
"Ah right, you're spending a lot of time with Sakura?" The idiot said too loudly. Sometimes I wished he'd tone it down a little.
"Haruno?" I asked blankly. Right for the past two weeks I'd been 'helping' that Haruno on her crazy quest. We'd been trailing that Uchiha-bastard trying to get an idea of his personality. However all I was left with was an incessant headache and the urge to slap that stupid pinkette the next time I saw her. And Uchiha, well basically that guy had a stick shoved so far up his ass I'm surprised no one could see it sticking out his mouth.
"What about her?"
"Well, people are asking questions." Naruto said, sheepishly. "Like are you guys going o-"
I looked at him in disbelief. What the -? For real!!
"Hey, don't worry I don't believe those rumours. I mean Sakura would never go for a guy like you! You're not exactly her type."
My eye twitched at the comment- I knew full well what her type was, namely idiotic rich boys with a duck butt hairstyle, hell I was twice that guy anyway. I didn't see why a pretty girl like her was busy pining away for a guy who would never notice her, would never notice any girl for that matter.
Feeling slightly peeved, I was about to let out a string of expletives letting Naruto know exactly how I felt about that when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Kiba, Naruto." My best friend Aburame Shino, a rather strange guy with an affinity for bugs- don't ask- greeted.
I grunted in reply.
"What's this about you and Sakura?" He continued, oblivious to my pissed aura. "Is she another client?"
I shot Shino a look. Rumour had spread throughout campus about my moonlighting career, but most people laughed it off. Inuzuka Kiba bonking another chick they could believe, me helping a girl get another guy- impossible. However, we're in front of one of Konoha U's biggest blabs –the first being that ditzy Yamanaka girl- I couldn't take any risks.
"I'm teaching her guitar." I lied, teeth clenched as I glared at Shino. From behind I could hear Naruto splutter.
"You play?" He asked, clearly surprised.
Going for a well-deserved manicure was what I would have been doing if it hadn't been for him. I clenched my Blackberry in my hand, cursing the day I gave him my damn number. What did he want now?
"Forehead, where the hell you going?" Ino asked, as the manicurist started on her perfectly polished nails.
"That was my tutor. There was a problem with one of my papers. I have to go see him." I babbled, hoping against hope that the blonde wouldn't see through my lie.
"B-But it's a-a d-d-day off." The third member of our group stuttered. Blessed with long, flowing midnight blue hair and pearly eyes, Hyuuga Hinata was a rare beauty and a reluctant member of the Kunoichis having barely survived rush week.
"Gotta go."
"What!?" She exclaimed, when I proposed my idea.
"It's pretty simple, really."
"I'm sorry. You want me to what?" She looked at me like I'd lost my mind.
"Come on. We're heading to my place." I said, feeling another headache coming on. I grabbed her arm to pull her along.
"Look buster." She yelled, shaking off my hand. "There are plenty of good qualified hairdressers and makeup artists in Konoha. I don't see why we have to go to your sister."
I closed my eyes and counted to ten. This girl was going to be the death of me.
"Trust me. This'll be okay." I said, strolling off in the direction of my house. Turning back to see if she was following, I added. "And if anyone asks, I'm teaching you guitar." There was a very good reason why my sister was going to be doing the makeup but Haruno didn't need to know it just yet.
Ten minutes later, we were at the Inuzuka Compound. I couldn't help but smirk at her audible gasp of shock at the size of the place. So what I was rich, but I didn't brag and I sure as hell didn't join any stupid fraternities. Sure the Shinobi's, the brother social society to the Kunoichis, had invited me but I was very much against conformity of any kind. Hence my free wheel status at Konoha U.
Opening the front door, a mass of brown and white fur launched itself at me, taking a side step; the large bundle hit the girl behind me square in the chest.
"Ofmph." Haruno uttered as she hit the ground with the large dog on top of her, licking up a storm.
"Haruno, meet my dog Akamaru." I laughed, at her barely veiled disgust as she struggled with the animal.
A whistle from the other side of the hall got Akamaru's attention and he bundled towards my sister, Hana who was holding a treat.
"Good boy." She murmured sending him on his way before giving me a look. "Kiba, that's no way to treat a guest. I'm sorry Haruno, I swear my dog is better behaved then my brother."
She helped get Haruno a change of clothes before sending her to the shower.
"Seriously, Kiba." Hana poked me, as I still laughed at the image.
"I'm sorry." I apologise sheepishly. "But in my defence, she needed to lighten up."
"Whatever. So she's the one you're helping?"
"Yep."
"Wow, I can't believe she's a Kunoichi. She doesn't look that shallow."
"She thinks Uchiha is the love of her life, she is that shallow."
"Kiba, say what you want. But I can tell there's more to that girl then meets the eye."
"Just do it already."
My sister waved as she left the kitchen.
I stared at my reflection in utter disbelief, not completely sure what I was seeing. My hair was shorter and my skin a shade darker.
"I look like a boy." I wailed, as realization hit me. Inuzuka's sister might as well have killed me. Tears well up as I stared at my transformed image. The pretty self-assured woman was gone, replaced by a....a......
"I'm a boy." I wailed again, sinking to the floor.
A creak behind me alerted me to his presence.
"Wow, good job Hana." He said, looking impressed.
My fists clenched. I'm going to kill this bastard.
"Sakura." Hana walked in, carrying a pile of clothes. "Here's a change of outfit."
"No." I cried. " No way, am I gonna wear a boy's clothes."
"Well consider the deal off." Inuzuka smirked.
Half an hour later, we were heading back to campus. Inuzuka sporting a broad grin, me carrying a new identity.
"We're gonna get you to have a conversation with Uchiha." He said, looking entirely too pleased with himself.
"Not like this." I whined.
"You had opportunity enough to talk to him as a girl." He said. "Now you're going to try as a boy. He's more likely to talk to you this way."
I groaned aloud, as I admitted- grudgingly- that he had a point.
At that time, the guys of the Shinobi Fraternity were having a guys-only frat party, which was where we were headed.
As we entered the frat house, louds of guys greeted Inuzuka. It appeared he was pretty popular with the guys and well he was kind of cute.
I shook my head to rid myself of such thoughts, thinking only of my task. To talk to Sasuke.
"Hey, Kiba. Who's your friend?" A familiar voice called. I tensed as I turned to find Naruto coming up to us with Sasuke trailing behind.
Oh my god. They're gonna see through my disguise.
Subconsciously I shifted closer to Inuzuka.
"This is my cousin, Hiro, He's come to visit for a few days and I thought I'd introduce him to you guys." Kiba said and I nodded in affirmation. This was the cover story.
"Welcome Hiro." Naruto grinned, as he slung an arm over my neck dragging me towards Sasuke. Turning towards Inuzuka, I mouthed 'help me'.
He just smirked and gave me a thumbs up.
I'm doomed.
I watched as Haruno was dragged away by the overzealous Naruto, my stomach sinking slightly at her disappearing form. She'd looked so frightened. I smirked as I started to talk with the guys about trivial crap. Y'know- girls, last night's game, girls, the upcoming exams and girls.
As I talked, I couldn't help but chance a glance every few minutes to check if Haruno was okay. After all, this was guys' territory and she'd had literally no preparation time.
Maybe she's being eaten alive, maybe she's screwed up, maybe they've sussed her out. These thoughts kept going through my head, as I downed a few beers. Excusing myself, I headed to where Sakura was sat, wedged between Uchiha and Naruto. Noticing the glowing look of admiration she gave Uchiha, I scowled. That guy didn't deserve her.
After a few moments, Uchiha stood up and headed towards a back room. Haruno had a forlorn look like a dog that's lost his bone.
Feeling suddenly bad for her, I beckoned for. I smirked as she mumbled an excuse before making her way towards me.
"What?" She spat, vehemence in her voice. I stepped back startled, clearly she didn't like being interrupted waiting for Uchiha.
"How's it going?" I asked.
"I'm talking to him." She brightened. "And he's talking to me. Thank you."
She gave me a hug which I quickly pushed away, trying hard not to notice how good she'd smelt.
"Guys don't hug." I whispered, feeling incredibly embarrassed. She flushed too and mumbled an inaudible apology.
"So why didn't you follow him?" I urged, pointing in the direction he'd gone.
She nodded quickly, and headed in the direction Uchiha had disappeared. Intrigue and another emotion forced me to follow her through the crowd of rowdy men.
Soon I saw her disappear into a darkened room.
I followed a few steps behind, entering just as light flooded the room, revealing something I never thought I'd ever see and something I hope to god I'd never have to witness again.
Before me, I noticed Haruno stiffen as she also, took in the sight before us.
On the bed, Uchiha Sasuke- the no.1 most lusted after male in Konoha- was entwined with another male with long dark brown hair and those trademark pearly eyes which marked him out as...
"Hyuuga Neji." Haruno murmured, dumbstruck.
I felt completely sickened to my stomach, hell I'd always known that there was something strange about the Uchiha, and maybe I'd suspected a little but I never ever would have believed that Uchiha Sasuke was gay! And with the Hyuuga branch family child, Neji of all people.
If the sight hadn't been so shocking I would have laughed.
"O-Oh my g-god!!" Haruno stuttered, and promptly ran out the room.
Looking back at the two surprised males who were rapidly disentangling themselves I shook my head. "You guys are gay!" I asked, incredulous. Who woulda knew?
Shaking my head again, I turned to follow the heart-broken girl who'd just left the room. I felt like shit, following in her footsteps- maybe just maybe she'd let me pick up the pieces.
I never ran as fast in my life as I did that day. The sight of Sasuke and Neji making out was burned into my brain, as I sprinted through the frat house and into the pouring rain.
Tears blurred my sight as I stumbled as far away from that place as I could get. In that moment, my whole world shattered. My whole purpose....gone.
I let the tears slip free as I slid to the ground, not caring if I got dirt on my clothes.
The rain washed away my tears, as I looked up at the crying sky and laughed. It was strange but I wasn't surprised. Without realizing I'd given up on Sasuke years ago. Laughter wracked my whole body, as I sat out in the rain. I felt relieved somehow.
A hand on my shoulder caused me to jolt back to my feet. Inuzuka was standing there, rain falling in rivulets through his gorgeous brown locks, plastering them to his face.
"I'm sorry, Haruno.
" He said, a look of utter shock and dismay in his eyes. "I didn't know."
I started to laugh again, and brought my hand up to his cheek causing his eyes to widen.
"It's not your fault." I smiled at him, why was it now I noticed what a wonderful guy Kiba was.
"But your promise..."
"Promises are made to be broken."
A sardonic grin split his features as he wrapped his arm around my waist.
"Well in that case, Sakura. Would you allow me to kiss you?"
"If you insist, Kiba." I replied, wrapping my arms around his neck as he leant down to press soft lips against my own.
Yeah, sometimes promise are meant to be broken.
A/N: This is my submission for Write the Wrong. Though I personally prefer stories that are a little darker, this idea kind of hit me when I was wracking my brain for ideas. I've wanted to write a Kiba/Sakura story for a while, and this idea kind of fit. I think the inspiration would probably be from reading Shakespeare inspired fanfiction (though this is in no way an adaption of the Bard's plays) and the movie 'She's the Man' starring Amanda Byrnes. I admit the romance is kind of rushed and the idea is a bit crack but I enjoyed writing it- it was a bit of a challenge writing in the first person though. Also there isn't much Sasuke or match-making either- sorry for the misleading title.