A/N: Written because most people seem to forget that Lloyd canonly still has the mind of a child and I don't see enough fics about just him. Took a wild guess on his age.
Sometimes, all Lloyd wants is to go back to being a kid.
After all, things were so much simpler when he was just a little brat trying to steal all the candy he could possibly get his hands on. Things were so much easier back then, because, back then, he didn't have the weight of the world quite literally resting on his shoulders 24/7.
He was just a kid, then. The only thing that was really required of him was to go to school, and lord knew he didn't do that a majority of the time.
Now, of course, he was the Green Ninja. He was the ultimate hero - protector of the innocent and all that. And if he was entirely honest, he hated every second of it. He didn't want to be a hero in the first place, let alone the hero. He only ever wanted to be like his dad, but it wasn't like his dad was exactly Lord Garmadon anymore.
He was just… Garmadon.
Lloyd still wasn't sure how he felt about that, really. Sure, he was happy to have his dad back by his side and all but… His dad was supposed to be this great evil and now he was a good guy. He was a good guy because Lloyd was forced to be a hero and bring his father's empire of evil crashing down around him.
Yeah.
He didn't know how he felt about that.
Of course, if he ever brought this whole issue up to his dad or to Wu, they'd just tell him that what was meant to be would come to pass. It was his destiny to be the Green Ninja and there was nothing he could do about it so he should just stop complaining… Not that he could actually bring it up to his dad now, anyway, but he doesn't like thinking about that.
And he couldn't really tell Kai, either, because Kai would act like he was just being dramatic. "Being the Green Ninja is awesome," would be Kai's entire reasoning and just the thought made Lloyd's blood boil a little bit.
"If it's so awesome," He mutters to himself, "Why doesn't somebody else do it?"
It's dark and it's late and no one else is awake but all he can do is stare at the ceiling thinking about his past. He's got his arms crossed behind his head, right now, and he's been trying to fall asleep for the past hour.
All he wants is a hug and someone to tell him it's okay to not like his destiny. That it's okay if he wants to be a normal person instead of this big, bad hero that destiny forced him into being. And, ok, maybe he also wants candy, but that's besides the point.
His sweet tooth has nothing to do with this - well, actually, it does.
His sweet tooth is what first brought him face to face with the ninja, wasn't it? His sweet tooth is what got him into this mess and really he should have already gotten over his childish obsession with candy but the truth is that he hasn't. He probably never will.
Regardless, his sweet tooth is bound to get him into some sort of trouble tonight, too.
He thinks about that while he heaves a sigh and sits up. He keeps thinking about it while he throws his legs over the side of the bed and gets to his feet. So what? he finally decides as he makes his way to the door. So what if I just so happen to crave a nice sugary, chewy, incredibly bad for me snack at midnight? He grew out of the belief that eating candy before bed would give him nightmares a long time ago, anyway, and maybe if he found some sweet treat to shove down his throat he could push the almost perpetual guilty lump down with it.
He pads down the hallway silently, pausing outside of Wu's room to see if the old man is still awake. The lights are all off, no candles burn within, and that gives him some solace, deep down. No matter how quiet he was, candy bags were infinitely louder. Wu would hear them, if he was awake, but thankfully he was an incredibly heavy sleeper sometimes.
Sometimes.
Lloyd sincerely hopes tonight is one of the nights when he does. He doesn't know what he'll do if he has to explain to Wu what he was doing sneaking out in the middle of the night. He might just scream. Curse, even - oh, how Wu and the others looked down on cursing. What had Jay said on the ferry to Chen's island? Something about swearing showing a lack of vocabulary?
He snorts to himself. Obviously Jay doesn't realize just how much one can increase their vocabulary just by adding a swear word to the beginning of other words.
He shrugs the thought aside as he slips out the front of their current lodgings. Where could he go to get candy where no one would question it at this time of night? He sighs. He probably should have thought this through a little bit better. He sighs again and runs a hand through his hair as he wanders around aimlessly for a bit.
Oh. A gas station. Perfect. Gas stations sold candy - usually a pretty large selection of gummies.
Awesome.
He wanders in, greets the cashier with an absent smile, watching her face light up out of the corner of his eye. He thinks about what kind of candy to buy before deciding, Oh, what the heck, and picking out four or five bags of different candy and snagging a soda on his way to the front counter. Hey, if he was going to buy candy, he might as well start himself a stash.
That is, if he doesn't end up eating all of this tonight.
The thought forces him to stifle a laugh while he sets the things on the counter.
"Will this be all for you tonight?" The cashier smiles at him, so friendly that he just has to smile back at her.
"Yep."
She rings him up cheerfully, although from what he'd seen before he entered she hadn't been in such a good mood before. "Might I ask what's so funny, by the way?"
"Oh," He can't help laughing at that a little bit. "Just thinking about the fact that I haven't splurged on sweets like this since I was a kid." He presses his lips together for a second, "And the fact that I'm probably going to end up eating all of it before tomorrow night."
She laughs at that, "Fair enough. Would you like a bag, sir?"
"Yes, please."
Candies and soda bagged and paid for, he prepares to leave. "You have a nice night, ma'am."
"You too!" She chirps, and he's pretty sure he's gonna be in a good mood for the rest of the night after that encounter.
And the candy may or may not have something to do with that.
When he gets back, he remembers that everyone else is asleep and he needs to be quiet until he gets to his room. He wads up the bag and holds it under his arm, sneaking his way back to the bedroom and curling up in his window sill.
The sound his soda makes when he opens it could wake the dead, as far as he's concerned, and he sits completely still for a moment, wondering if anyone heard it.
He doesn't hear anyone approaching his room, but that doesn't mean no one is. He swallows, regardless, and takes a swig of the drink. Oh, he can just taste how bad it is for him. It's awesome, really. Completely awesome. And if soda is this much better than he remembers it being he can't wait to try the candy.
He opens up one of the bags at the same moment that his door slides open. Kai peeks in. "Hey, what are you doing up, Lloyd?"
"... Isn't it obvious?" He asks once he's managed to open a reasonably sized hole in the bag. "I'm eating candy."
"You'll give yourself nightmares." Kai warns as he slips into the room and closes the door.
"Nah, that's just an old wives' tale." He holds out the bag to him. "Want some?"
"Sure." Kai allows him to pour out some of the sweets into his open hand. "When did you get candy, though?"
"Tonight." He plucks a piece out of the bag and pops it into his mouth. Yep, better than he remembered. He lets his eyes fall closed for a moment, but he can feel Kai's eyes on him, so he shrugs, "I had a craving."
Kai snorts at that. "I'm not even surprised. You were totally obsessed with it when you were still…" He trails off, "I've got a question, Lloyd."
Lloyd figures that's worth opening his eyes for. He looks at Kai and quirks an eyebrow. "What is it?"
"I know your body's basically an adult, but how old are you, really?"
"Um…" He has to stop to think, because as of his sudden age change he's started going by what he should be based on his body's age, not what he actually is. "I think I was gonna be thirteen this year, actually." He thinks back to when he'd first met the ninja, running through the ages in his head up until now. "Yeah. Thirteen."
"Jeez." Kai leans back on his hand, having placed his uneaten candy in a rather large fold in his gi. "I always forget you're still a kid, you know? You act your bodily age and everything a little too well I guess."
"I guess." Lloyd shrugs. "I just know that that's what's expected of me. My body's practically an adult, therefore I'm practically an adult."
"You ever just wanna act like a thirteen year old?"
"Every day." He cracks a smile. "Sometimes I really want to act younger and throw a tantrum or something - I just get so frustrated."
"And you wanna scream, right?"
He laughs. "Yeah, I wanna scream."
"Don't worry, everybody has moments like that, I think." Kai assures him, "Except maybe Zane."
Lloyd can't really think of a time when he's actually felt as happy as he pretends to be for his mother's sake. As happy as he is right now. No, he hasn't been this happy since before his father…
No. He doesn't want to think about that. Not now that he almost can't feel the lump in his throat and the knife twisting in his heart. Not now that his stomach is finally settling and he doesn't feel like he's going to spew the last thing he ate just because he's so upset.
He doesn't even know why he's so upset.
He thought, once, that it was just because of his dad being in the cursed realm. He thought the guilt and the all-consuming sadness that gnawed at him stemmed from banishing his father, but… Well, he wasn't sure, isn't sure, that that's all there is to it.
"Hey, Lloyd? Earth to Lloyd - are you in there?" Kai is waving a hand in front of his face and Lloyd really isn't sure how long he's been thinking.
"W-what is it?" He gently swats Kai's hand, forces himself to make eye contact with the Red Ninja.
"You were spacing out." Kai shrugs. "I didn't want you getting too lost in your own little world. You'd be up all night."
Kai, of course, is speaking from experience. Lloyd knows that. He knows that Kai's spent plenty of restless nights laying in bed thinking, and he knows Kai knows that he has too.
It makes Lloyd smile a rather bitter smile, because no one seems to understand how alike he and Kai are.
He doesn't think even Kai quite realizes it. But he shouldn't be thinking about things like this right now - he has candy to be eating, soda to be drinking. There's good times to be had, right now, and dangit he plans to have them.
He pops another piece of candy into his mouth. "You know, Kai, for practically being an adult there's a lot of things I haven't done yet."
Of course, he laments, the first thing his mind thought for him to do during these "good times" is embarrass himself. But it'll probably embarrass Kai, too, so that makes it easier.
"Like what?" Kai raises an eyebrow and Lloyd can tell just by his face that he has no idea what's about to be said.
"Well, like…" He thinks. How can he segue into this properly? "Like drink alcohol or have sex."
Kai splutters. "I so didn't need to know that you're still a virgin, Lloyd."
"Sure you did!" Lloyd laughs because the look on Kai's face is just too priceless for him to even feel embarrassed by his virginity.
"You should wait," Kai eventually tells him. "You should definitely wait."
"Why's that?"
"You just… You should make sure you're doing it with the right person, you know? You only get one first time."
"That's true." Lloyd agrees. "Who was yours?"
Kai cringes and for a second Lloyd panics and considers apologizing for asking. Before he can work his mouth back open, Kai sighs. "I, uh… I don't even remember her name, actually." He scratches the back of his head. "She was just… Some chick." He shrugs. "She lived in my village."
"Do you regret it?"
"Sometimes." Kai nods. "I kinda wish I'd waited. Done it with someone I loved instead."
"Like Skylor?" Lloyd wants to smack himself for asking…
… Until he notices the distinct coral hue of Kai's cheeks. "Y-yeah. Like Skylor."
"Kai's got a girlfriend!" He croons in a sing-songy voice, popping another piece of candy into his mouth. "Kai's got a girlfriend!"
"Shut up!" Kai groans, flopping backwards and sending pieces of candy sliding off of his gi. "It… It's not like that, Lloyd!"
"Does she not like you back?"
"She does…"
"Then you've got a girlfriend." He shrugs.
"It's not that simple." Kai groans again, putting his hands over his face. "We're not kids anymore, Lloyd. 'I like you and you like me' doesn't exactly equate to being in a relationship."
Unimpressed, Lloyd raises a brow. "Then what does?"
Kai makes a long-suffering noise in the back of his throat and slowly sits up. "I dunno. I really don't. I wish it was that simple."
"Do you like anyone else?"
"No, not really."
"Does she?"
"... I dunno."
"Is she just too busy?"
"Pretty much. Both of us just… Have too many responsibilities."
"I guess that makes sense." He takes a drink of his soda before holding it out toward Kai. "Want some?"
"Sure." He accepts it and takes a drink as well, handing it back.
They're quiet for a moment. Lloyd can't think of anything else to talk about. He kind of wishes there was a TV in his room. He voices that thought to Kai, who laughs.
"Why's that?"
"We could, like… Have a late-night movie marathon." Lloyd shrugs, lips twitching upwards. "Just the two of us. And eat candy."
"You are definitely still a thirteen year old."
Lloyd grins.
Sometimes, all Lloyd wants is to go back to being a kid… And he's happy that he gets a chance to do that when he's around Kai.
Kai understands. Kai knows. He can be himself with Kai - he doesn't have to pretend to be the brave, confident, charismatic Green Ninja that everyone else expects him to be. Lloyd thinks that, if he could have an older brother, he would want it to be Kai.
He tells Kai that thought, too, and lights up when Kai's reply is, "We don't have to be related for me to be your big brother." Kai opens his arms. "Get down here, lil bro."
Lloyd is more than happy to slide off the window seat and throw his arms around Kai.