Title: We, The Weasley Brothers
Rating: PG
Summary: "We the Weasley Brothers have joined together to create a more perfect union of Family, in which our younger sister remains a chaste and single female teenagers. Thus we implore that you take a look at our Bill's to Save.Our.Sister." One-Shot
A/N: You guys'll have to forgive me. This is unbetaed cause my beta didn't get back to me in time. I couldn't wait to post it, 6th b-day and I actually just came back form the Harry Potter Premiere in NYC. It was so good. I actually saw Tom Felton and Rupert Grint up close. God, they're sexy.
Disclaimer: You think this is mine? Hah!
We, The Weasley Brothers
We, the Weasley Brothers of the Burrow of St. Ottery Catchpole, have joined together to create a more perfect union of Family. One in which our beloved younger sister remains a chaste and single female teenager. And thus, without further ado, we present our Bill's (no pun intended) to Save Our Sister (these may be covertly referred to as The Bill's to SOS).
1. Whoever is at Hogwarts (::cough:: Ron) is directly in charge of informing the remaining Weasley brothers of our sister's activities and of any potential suitors.
2. Fred and George (or Gred and Forge as they are more accurately described) shall send said suitor "jokes" (Ton Tongue Toffee, Canary Creams, etc…) in package with warning note.
3. Percy will send potential suitor an extremely boring letter, concerning the thickness of cauldron bottoms and inform potential suitor that Ginny is exactly like Percy.
4. We shall spread rumors that Charlie is like the dragons he tames: wild, overprotective and (from his own mouth) dead sexy. Charlie also happens to ride a dragon named Lucy whom he feeds with teenage boys.
5. Bill shall send said boy frightening Howler, as his are most beautiful.
6. Shall put Shrinking Solution in trousers of said boy.
7. Convince Peeves that potential suitors has disturbingly amorous dreams about the poltergeist.
8. If needed, bribe poltergeist.
9. "Convince" Newt Scammander that the "Weasley Brothers" deserve their own listing in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them with a rating of "Known Wizard Killer."
10. Tell Crookshanks that potential suitor's You-Know-What is in fact a well concealed rat.
11. If that does not work (and even if it does) tell Buckbeak the same thing.
12. Drape teenager in meat and send him into the Forbidden Forest. Note to self: Make sure to perfect Hagrid's Thestral call.
13. Castrate potential suitor.
14. Send potential suitor pictures of pre-cooked meat, convince suitor that these are the remains of those who have attempted to date Ginny before him.
15. Learn effective counter-curse to the Bat-Bogey Hex, as Ginny will be quite angry if she ever finds out about this list.
Note to Reader: Contact Gred and Forge for an accurate list of what to do concerning specific members of the male persuasion, mainly the Creeveys, Malfoy, Longbottom, Boot, Thomas, Finnegan and pretty much every other male in Hogwarts (except Potter, he's pretty much like Ginny's brother and incest doesn't seem to be his thing, and Corner, we think we got rid of him for good).
A/N: Hope you liked it. I'm gonna post up another one-shot in about 3 days. Please review it would totally make my day even better.