Judgment

by solista

The Lancers learn you can not judge someone from what you see on the outside.

Judgment

If you judge people,

You have no time to love them.

Mother Teresa

Scott Lancer heard it before he dismounted, handing off his reins

to the waiting ranch hand, he wiped a hand over his face. He was hot, dirty, exhausted. He really did not want to come home to this. Home, Lancer was home now. Boston was a place of many memories, both good and bad. Lancer was a place of new beginnings, of a life with family a father, brother and a 'sister'. A new life far removed from the stiff, straight-laced world of a privileged upper crust society.

The voices from inside the hacienda were loud, colorful, and decidedly meant to hurt. Opening the glass double doors, which opened into the great room the tall young blonde-haired Lancer, came up against the brick wall, which was his father.

Looking down on his elder son, Murdoch Lancer frowned, "I can't talk to him anymore, he's..."

"I take it you mean your younger son." Scott folded his arms across his chest. "Yes." The big rancher answered in a gruff voice, "No I mean your younger brother. How can he be a son of mine?" Pushing past Scott the frazzled father left his two sons. Continuing his entrance into the great room Scott saw his brother carefully pushing himself slowly from the couch. Pain was evident in his handsome face, he watched as the younger man wiped a trail of sweat from his forehead with the back of his sleeve.

"Brother," Scott addressed his sibling in a comforting tone, "So what set you two off this time?"

Looking over his brother, he could see the hunched shoulders, the arm holding close to his side, evident pain in his face. "What debacle has befallen you my precipitance little brother?"

The smile Scott witnessed said volumes. "Well big brother seems no matter what I do or don't do I never seem to make our great and powerful father accept who I am."

Walking over to the liquor table, Scott picked up a glass and filled it full of his father's imported whiskey. Taking a big sip, he motioned to Johnny if he would like a drink. Shaking his dark haired head the younger man eased back down into the soft leather couch.

Sitting on the ottoman in front of his brother Scott waited until his defiant brother deemed to tell his version of the heated discussion.

Johnny, head bowed, looked up at his brother through over long lashes and hair. "Our father the Great and Mighty Murdoch Lancer still judges me on the actions of Madrid. I try real hard to live up to his high standards, but I ain't you Scott."

Crossing his legs, and leaning his forearms against his thighs Scott leaned in towards his brother, "I don't expect you to be like me, I hope our father never said as much to you."

"He don't say the exact words, but he hints at it every chance he gets." Johnny raised his head. "Scott I try to put Madrid behind me, but he's a part of me. I've been Madrid a whole lot longer than I been Lancer. Ya can't just change like ya blow out a candle, one second its bright next its dark."

Sighing Johnny bowed his head again, "Just ain't no pleasin' the man. He can't accept me, he still sees me as his baby boy."

Standing Scott leaned down and put a hand to his younger brothers shoulder, "I'll talk to our father."

Shaking his head Johnny murmured, "Don't bother, he won't ever see me as Johnny Lancer grown man let alone Madrid. He see's me a killer someone without a soul, can't follow orders can't dance ta his tune, can't possibly be his son."

Scott wondered how he was related to these two very much the same stubborn wrong-headed men. They could talk but not listen, react instead of biding one's time. Looking at the pain-filled eyes, the need to belong the wanting, needing to be loved, Scott sighed. His little brother, oh how long had he wished for such a person in his life, he found the man much to his liking, proud, bold, caring, stubborn, defiant, loyal, convivial, jocular...too many words to describe his brother and not enough words to describe his brother. Why couldn't their father see that?

Johnny pushed himself slowly to his feet, hunching over and holding a groan, he felt his brother's hands on his shoulders; keeping his eyes on the floor he could see his brother's dirty, boot tips toe to toe with his own. His brother's soft voice penetrated the pain-filled haze. "Now you going to tell me what the devil is wrong with you?"

Lifting his head, he looked Scott in the eye, "Well I guess you could say Madrid and Lancer joined forces ta save our old man's bacon."

(Earlier That Day)

Murdoch Lancer was enjoying his day. He had the buckboard hitched up and was going into Green River to pick up some supplies and do some business, pulling himself up into the wagon was his younger son, John. Smiling at his dark haired boy Murdoch snapped the reins and they were off.

How he had dreamed of a day like this, riding into town with his son beside him. Such a handsome boy, glancing once over to his boy he saw the dark long eyelashes so like his mothers, the silky dark hair, overly long in his opinion, just like his mothers, but the eyes the startling sapphire blue eyes, those were from his side of the family.

The proud fathers' eyes took in the Mexican style dress, the boldly colored intricately embroidery shirt, and the shiny buttons running down each leg of the leather pants the boy favored. He wished his son would begin to dress less flamboyant, he had nothing against the Mexican style clothing, but the boy was no longer a gunfighter. He was the son of a successful rancher and he was part owner of one of the largest ranches in the valley, it was ok to wear the clothing on the ranch, but in town, he just wish he would conform.

Then there was that gun rig the boy wore. Slung low on his right thigh it screamed death. That gun and what it reminded him of tore him up inside.

How his second wife Maria, the boys mother took off after two years of marriage, ran away in the night stealing his son, his heart, his future. How the boy had to grow up hard and fast to survive in the dangerous dirty border towns between here and the Mexican boundary. How his sweet baby boy grew up into the infamous gunfighter, Johnny Madrid. Sixteen years lost to them both.

Madrid, gun for hire, death merchant, selling his gun and soul to the highest bidder. Cold, unforgiving, calculating and so very fast with that big iron it brought fear into a man's heart. The reputation grew from a fifteen year old punk kid into a dangerous top dog, a man at a very young age and very good at his trade. Lord he wasn't even nineteen yet, and had already lived a lifetime.

Murdoch slapped the reins on the horses rumps to hurry them up, every time he thought too long on the life his boy had lived before coming back home, he felt sick, sad, angry, helpless. He wanted the years back stolen from him with his baby boy; he wanted to see the boy grow up to be the man he saw in his minds eye, the successful rancher, and pillar of the community...his son.

The father smiled at the thought of his older son, Scott. Now Scott was a man any father could be proud. Highly educated, impeccable manners, hard working willing to get his hands dirty to learn new things, and to pick up the life of a rancher very quickly. His dress, though not like the dandified clothing he had worn when he first came home, was more to keeping up as an elder son of the patron of a successful ranch.

The manners taught as he grew up in Boston and the high social standing of his son's grandfather, Harlan Garrett, stood him good in the meeting of their neighbors. His dealing with lengthy and detailed contracts showed he had learned his lessons well at the side of the Bostonian businessman.

Yes, Murdoch smiled as he thought of his elder son, now to get his younger boy to buckle down, follow the rules, and be more the rancher's son and less the defiant gunfighter.

As father and son entered the town of Green River they were greeted with hi's and hellos, hola's, buenos dias. People smiled and some, a few, frowned. They pulled up at the general store and Johnny took the paper from his father with the written supply order and jumped from the buckboard.

Climbing up to the boardwalk the younger man entered the store. The older man stepped down, went to the front of the horses, and tied them to the post.

Johnny returned to join his father, "Son I'm going across to the bank then to Mr. Randolph's office. I'll meet you back here in one hour." Looking critically at his younger boy, "You could do with a hair trim." Johnny grinned up at his father, "Yeah well. I'm gonna go see Val then the gun shop. See ya." Murdoch watched his son turn away and frowned, mumbling under his breath, 'Always your way.' Turning himself, he started to the bank.

Johnny burst through the door of the sheriff's office. His good amigo, Val Crawford was sheriff, hired and paid by the Cattle Grower's Association. The 'sheriff' stood up fast, had his gun half out of the holster, then dropped it back into the well worn leather,

"Boy, one day I'm a gonna take yer head off." sitting back down he mumbled, "Might improve ya some."

Shifting wanted posters around his much-cluttered desk he glared up at the young man.

"What 'cha doin' in my town on a Monday mornin'." mumbling again, "Probly' up ta no good." Looking up again, "Yer Papa know where ya are?"

Johnny leaned against the door, arms folded over his chest, ankles crossed, "Yeah he knows where I am, don't I gotta tell 'em when I gotta go ta tha outhouse?" Uncrossing his arms the younger man walked to the desk, Val was not sure, how he done it, but when the boy walked those spurs of his always played a right nice tune.

Fingering a poster Johnny looked up into the eyes of his friend,

"Nah, the old man wanted ta spend some father son time with me, he's over ta tha bank. Looked right mad I didn't go with 'em."

Looking his friend over Val shook his head, "Still butt'n heads?"

Smiling Johnny just said, "Yeah. He's findn' out my heads just as hard as his if'n not harder just don't understand sometimes, what I do or don't do ta set 'em off."

Johnny saw the grin under the untrimmed mustache, the eyes sparkling with devilment, "Yeah right ya don't. You ain't gonna tell me ya don't get a prickle outta yer little talks."

A big grin lit up the boy's eyes, devilment pure and simple. The friends knew each other very well, turning Johnny threw over his arm over Val's shoulder, "Come on go with me I gotta go see Mr. Bishop 'bout a gun."

Throwing the poster he had been holding back on the desk Val snagged his hat from the peg by the door on his way out behind his amigo.

They were a strange pair, the older man looked more like a saddle tramp than a sheriff, and an untrimmed mustache hid a mouth that could smile a mile wide or throw out blistering text. His shirt usually had a part of his last meal stained on it; his tan pants could stand on their own they were so in need of a wash. However, underneath the well-worn Stetson was a cunning and clever mind.

He could hold his own in a gunfight, he wasn't fast like Johnny but he always hit his target.

The younger man beside him was at least fifteen years his junior, but Val called him friend.

Johnny said something to Val, who took off his hat and slapped the younger man on the shoulder. Plopping it back on his head they continued down the boardwalk.

Putting a hand on Val, Johnny nodded towards the bank, Murdoch

had just walked out with a thick envelope and stuck it into his

inner coat pocket. Unaware of four sets of eyes watching he

continued to his meeting at his lawyer's office.

As Val and Johnny rushed to intercept the muggers, Murdoch looked up and waved to his son and the sheriff.

He felt the cold metal of a gun barrel against his neck as his arm was pulled roughly behind his back.

Johnny's gun was out and he fired a warning shot over the heads of the muggers. Using Murdoch as a shield, they backed towards the alley. Dodging behind a rain barrel as a shot was fired back Johnny took aim again, one man made the mistake of pistol whipping the big rancher who fell forward onto his knees, while the mugger took the time to rummage into Murdoch's pocket for the envelope Johnny was on him.

Johnny was smaller, younger and lighter than the mugger who out weighed him by thirty pounds. However, Johnny had grown up on the unforgiving streets of numerous border towns; he could give as well as he got. Val had the second man on the ground and fighting his own battle.

Murdoch stood and shook his head; the thin veil was lifting for him to see his younger son get a boot kicked into his side. The boy went down but not for long.

It gave the big rancher the time to move in and grab at the mugger, but he did not see the knife until it came within an inch of his stomach. Johnny put his hands on the man and turned him away from his father. Knife fights were nothing new to the younger man, he jumped back as the knife sliced at his chest, feeling a burn Johnny ignored it and clamped down on the hand with the knife.

Johnny may have been lighter but his grip was strong and he soon had the knife wielder eating dirt as Val ran to help.

Taking charge of the two muggers a couple of towns men helped Val walk them to the jail. Looking at Johnny Val frowned, "Knew ya couldn't stay outta trouble, now look at ya, bleedin' all over my alley. Mr. Lancer you don't look none to good yer self. Mort, Fred get these two over ta Doc. Jenkins.

I'll be over soons I lock these two up in my jail."

Mort put a hand out to Murdoch, who shrugged it off, his eyes on his younger son. The pain hit Johnny all at once, Fred grabbed at him to keep the young man on his feet. Grabbing at his chest the blood seeped from between his fingers; bright red drops hit his boot tips and ran to soak into the dirt.

Murdoch moved with a speed that belied his size. He took his son's other side; someone shoved a clean towel into his hands, "Here Mr. Lancer, may help some. Hope he'll be ok." Nodding Murdoch moved Johnny's bloodstain hand and pressed the towel to his boy's chest. "Thanks Mrs. Ebert." The widow woman moved back to let the three men continue to the doctors office.

As they approached Sam Jenkins office, someone else opened the door to allow easy access, "Let me get the door Mr. Lancer."

Looking up, "Thanks Ed."

"Least I can do for Johnny, Mr. Lancer."

The old farmer held the door open until they were inside, then quietly stepped back outside and closed it firmly.

Sam Jenkins already alerted by ten year old Matt Pierce, had the examine room prepped and he moved into the room as his patients entered his outer office, "In here Murdoch, get him on the table."

Fred and Murdoch laid Johnny on the padded table, putting a hand on Johnny's shoulder Fred quietly said, "You let Doc patch ya up young man, and I'll see ya in a bit." Johnny nodded, "Thanks Fred. Esmeralda ok?"

"Right as rain kid. You get better yourself." The older man turned and looked at Murdoch, "He'll be ok Mr. Lancer, anything I ken do, ya let me know." Not waiting for an answer the man let himself out.

Looking down on his young patient Sam smiled, "Well young man let's see what you've done to yourself this time. Murdoch go sit down you look like you're about to pass out don't need to pick you up off the floor."

Johnny turned his head to look at his father, "See to my Old Man first Doc. He don't look too good."

Putting his hand under Johnny's chin Sam turned the boy's head back to him, "That hard head of his will be just fine, let's get this mess cleaned up and see if we need stitches." Johnny's eyes closed as another pain hit him. Bending close to Johnny's ear the doctor whispered to him, "No back talk, you will take the laudanum. Your father has your back son."

In a lot of pain Johnny looked over to his father who nodded, "I'll watch for you son." Looking in Sam's eyes Johnny nodded, "Ok Doc just so's you'll be more comfortable sewing me up."

It had taken five stitches to close up the knife wound. In addition, a tight wrap around his chest as it was discovered Johnny had one broken rib and two cracked. Murdoch was none the worse for wear, just a slight headache and bruised ego.

Motioning for Murdoch to join him in the outer office, Sam closed the door behind them. "He'll be alright, sore for sure, but the boy will be fine." Murdoch released the breath he had been holding then turning he took a seat. "Sam he, he just waded right in, fought like a man twice his age and size."

Sam sat beside him, "That boy of yours is one scrapper for sure; the one thing I do know is he doesn't take kindly to anyone messing with his family."

"He put himself in danger for just a little bit of money." The rancher huffed.

"No Murdoch he was defending you, protecting you." Putting a hand on his friends arm the doctor continued, "He can also take care of himself, he knew what he was doing and how far he could go."

Pushing himself up the worried father stood, "That's just it Sam, I should be protecting him, I never had the chance as he grew up on his own. I don't want him hurt anymore, I want to..."

"Well Old Man we don't always get our way, now do we?" The voice from the doorway made both men turn around. Sam jumped up, Murdoch made a move to his son, but a hand stopped him.

Johnny raised his hand to stop the advance of his father, "When ya gonna learn Murdoch I can take care o' myself.

Been doin' it fer a long time now. And if'n ya don't want me ta protect ya, don't go doin' stupid things."

Walking pass the older men Johnny had his hand on the door,

"Well Old Man ya comin'?" Without a backwards glance, Johnny left the older men gaping at the empty doorway.

"Thank you Sam, guess I got my walking orders." Murdoch picked up his hat and placed it on his head.

"Murdoch," the doctor said to stop his friend, "Be careful what you say and how you say it, Johnny may be young but he is pretty perceptive. And he is right he's been on his own for a good bit of his life."

"I know Sam, I know." Murdoch closed the door behind him, Sam just shook his head, one thing he knew about father and son, and both were bullheaded, stubborn, unyielding, passionate men. Cut from the same cloth. In addition, the similarities did not stop there.

Going back into his exam room, he began to clean up thinking on his friends. A little laugh escaped his lips, Murdoch had his hands full, and thank God, all he had to do was patch them up.

The fireworks didn't start until the two men had turned the buckboard over to a ranch hand. Following his younger son into the hacienda the fuse was lit.

In the kitchen Maria put the knife down that she had been chopping vegetables with, she threw up her hands and shook her head Aye yi yi at it again, it was a wonder the boy even stayed long enough to wipe the dirt off his feet.

Cipriano and the hand he had been talking to both looked up towards the hacienda. Nodding to the man, who quietly left to do his chore

The Segundo shook his head, so much alike these two. To have been apart for so long how one could be just as determined as the other could, no give in either one.

Wiping a hand over his face, Cipriano turned to go into the barn a heavy sigh escaped his lips, perhaps one day one or the other would grow up.

That is what Scott Lancer had walked into hot, dirty, and exhausted.

" So little brother what you are telling me, you were shot at, and shot at someone, you got into a fisticuffs with an older much bigger man and you got knifed?"

"Yeah, pretty much that's what happened." Johnny said holding his side.

"You should never have put yourself in that kind of dangerous circumstance." The loud voice from the patio doors made both brothers turn.

Murdoch strode into the room and stopped in front of his sons. "I would have gladly given them the money if it had saved you from getting hurt John."

Looking up at his father Johnny frowned, "You don't know that Murdoch, they were desperate men, they could have got you in that ally and shot you after taking your money. Seen it one too many times wasn't gonna take a chance."

"Let me understand." Scott looking at both men, "You Murdoch left the bank with an envelope full of money, by yourself with out looking around you. And you John took it upon yourself to fight a bigger man to protect our father?"

Murdoch looked red in the face; he had been too comfortable in the town to look for danger.

Johnny looked down at his feet and shrugged, "I'd do it for anyone of my family."

Looking up Johnny fixed Scott with coldness in his eyes, "No one pistol whips my Old Man with out my justice."

Taking a deep breath, Scott let it out in a long sigh, "So what gentlemen is the problem? You two have the entire ranch walking on eggshells. If you two want to butt heads on something as ..." Scott held up one finger as Murdoch was about to speak. "As caring for one another, then take it out there where we all don't have to listen to you.

Looking at his family Scott turned, "Now I am going to take a bath, dress in clean clothes, come back in here have a glass of some of that imported whiskey. If you two would like to join me as a family, I think we can get through the rest of the evening without killing each other. Gentlemen."

Scott dismissed himself, and the two combatants were left staring at where the peacemaker had been standing.

Johnny heard a quiet rumble from his father, glancing at him he thought he was having a convulsion as the older mans' shoulders were trembling. Then a rolling belly laugh passed the older man's lips. Johnny smiled and held his side as a suppressed laugh escaped his lips. Putting a gentle hand on his younger sons shoulder, "Well son. Want to get a head start on that drink?"

Nodding once, "Sure, but make mine tequila." Sitting down slowly into the couch, Johnny looked up as his father, "Gets a might sensitive don't he?"

"Well son," Murdoch handed his son the glass of tequila, "I guess we bring it out in him."

Nodding his agreement Johnny took a sip, "Yep guess we do."

Maria smiled, she could hear the subdued voices in the great room, and finishing the makings of a nice beef stew, she prepared the biscuit dough. Her house was once again happy.

Scott joined his father and brother to a much more toned down atmosphere. They were enjoying the drinks and the conversation when the big front door was thrown open and crashed against the wall.

Johnny jumped up unmindful of his injury right hand going to his right hip, and finding no gun. Murdoch had sat up fast, spilling his drink down his shirtfront with a scowl on his face. Scott dropped the glass decanter as he was pouring another drink and looked up.

A dark haired whirlwind rushed through the open door her booted feet stomping their way into the hacienda. The three lancer men looked at the disarrayed young woman.

The ribbon had come out of her unruly dark hair; her split skirt was stained with grass, dirt and mud. Her once white blouse was stained and torn. Her face was distorted in anger and tears stood in her dark eyes.

Teresa O'Brien's eyes fell on her guardian, Murdoch Lancer; she ran to him and threw herself into his arms.

The three men looked at each other as Murdoch wrapped his arms around the trembling young woman. Concern for the girl they crowded around her to protect her from whatever it was that had the usual calm and level headed woman in such a state

A sound at the door, had the men, looking up, Todd Bennett a young man from town, son of a lawyer from Green River stood there with his hat in hand. His own clothes in disarray dirty and muddied.

Johnny moved towards the young man fire in his eyes, fists ready to smash the handsome face. He stopped when Teresa let out a sob. That did it Johnny felt a stitch tear loose as he swung his fist and felt the pleasure of making contact with the sharp cheekbone of the man before him.

Todd fell back against the wall, his face on fire, the pain like nothing he'd ever felt before. Holding his hand against his cheek, he could feel warmth seeping between his fingers.

Johnny bent over in pain as the stitches pulled out and the pain in his chest was incredible.

Scott ran to his brother's side helping him back to the couch as Teresa screamed, "No Johnny!"

She broke away from Murdoch and ran to Todd's side, her hanky now mopping some of the blood from the young man's face.

Johnny in pain, Scott tending to him, Todd in pain, Teresa tending to him, Murdoch let out a bellow, "What the hell is happening?"

Everyone stopped and stared at the big rancher, who stood legs spread, hands on hips a scowl on his face.

Maria ran from the kitchen a butcher knife in her hands, looking for the banditos and seeing only her familia, her Juanito bent over in pain, his hermano tending the Niño. Senorita Teresa holding a bloodied handkerchief to the face of a stranger, and the patron looking like an irate Toro.

Cipriano burst through the patio doors, gun drawn, his prima holding a big knife, Senorita Teresa holding up a stranger, Senor Scott holding onto his hermano and the patron like an El Toro loco.

"Everyone just stand down." The bellow from El Toro made everyone in the room stop what they were doing and stare at the big man.

"Teresa honey come here and tell us what has happened?" Concern now in Murdoch's face. Teresa helped Todd to a chair and left the young man holding the now red hanky to his face to stand before her guardian.

Johnny glaring at Todd through pain-filled eyes wanted to tear into the boy again. Scott's hand on his shoulder keeping him from the attempt. Teresa cleared her throat, "I guess I can see where this looks bad, but it's not what everyone thinks."

Scott now standing looked at his 'sister' "And what is it exactly?"

Wringing her hands she looked up, "I fell off my horse."

Scotts mouth fell open, Murdoch ran a hand trough his hair, and Johnny just shook his head.

Murdoch seeing Cipriano for the first time since the start of this debacle, waved him to put his gun away, " Everything's ok Cip, but you'd best send for the doctor Johnny's going to need him. Maria,"

He turned to the housekeeper still holding the wicked looking knife high, "Could you get a basin of water and bandages for Johnny and our quest?'

Lowering the knife Maria looked up, "Si Patron." Turning she headed to the kitchen.

"Scott, get your brother upstairs to his room, he's getting blood on the couch." Scott looked from his father to his little brother, and saw the fingers clutched over his chest begin to seep bright red blood.

Putting a hand under his brother's elbow he helped him stand, "Come on little brother; let's see if we can get you cleaned up."

All eyes watched the brothers leave the room; Teresa went to stand beside Todd as Maria came back with a basin and cloths. Taking the supplies from Maria, the young woman smiled, "You may want to help Scott with Johnny."

Throwing up her hands the stalwart older woman, moved towards the stairs, mumbling in Spanish Murdoch heard a few words as she left the room. "Estupido, loco, mula," He then turned to their 'guest'.

Murdoch surveyed the damage his younger son had done to the face of the young man being wiped clean by Teresa. After the blood had been cleared away Murdoch could see a handsome young face, "Now young man let's start over, I am Murdoch Lancer."

Trying to stand Murdoch waved him down, "I'm Todd Bennett, sir."

"Now would someone like to tell me what happened?" He looked at Todd and Teresa, arms crossed, waiting.

Teresa stood beside Todd and gave him the cool, cloth to hold onto his cheek. "I went riding today; it was such a beautiful day." Seeing a reprimand coming she hurried through, "I know I should have had some one come with me, but I didn't mean to go far, in fact I was only down by the river, that ornery mare I was riding..."

Murdoch interrupted her, "You mean the green broke mare Johnny was still working?" Bowing her head she nodded, "Yes sir. I thought I could handle her."

"Go on." Murdoch said.

"Well she spooked at something and.. and... she bucked me off onto the river bank, and I rolled in the mud and lay there stunned."

Todd cleared his throat, "I came up about that time, and Teresa was just sitting there in the mud. I'm sorry at first I just laughed, then saw her confused look and immediately jumped down to aid her."

"After Todd got me out of the mud he asked if I was ok. Well I wasn't nice to him, I was mad at that horse, myself and him."

Todd picked up, "I got her fairly cleaned up and grabbed the horses, I could see the mare was still too frisky so I rode her and put Teresa on my more sedate animal. I escorted her home and followed her in to make sure she was ok. Then..."

Smiling Murdoch finished, "Then all hell broke loose in the guise of my younger son."

"Yes sir." The younger man smiled and grimaced as the smile pulled at the cut on his cheek.

Murdoch walked over to the liquor table, "Drink?" He asked.

Todd nodded, "Yes sir, thank you sir." The young man watched the rancher pour the glass half-full of the amber liquid, then walk it over to him. Taking the drink, he gently sipped it, the motion sending a pain through his face.

Murdoch pulled down the cloth and looked at the damage, placing it back he stepped back, "Don't think it's broken, but it'll bruise up pretty bad. Doc Jenkins will be out in a little while."

Teresa came out of her own thoughts, "Why is Doctor Jenkins coming out?"

Murdoch put his arm around her shoulder, "Johnny had an accident in town today, and he may have pulled some stitches."

Concern filled her face, "Let me get cleaned up and I'll go see him. Murdoch could you see if Scot has something Todd could change into?"

"I'll see to it darling, go get clean. We'll talk later about your little adventure." Turning to Todd Murdoch smiled, "Come with me son and let's see if we can get you presentable."

Standing Todd followed the big man from the room and up a large staircase.

Outside of a door, one of many in the long hallway, they heard raised voices; Murdoch knew it was his elder son. Opening the door to Johnny's room, he stood in the doorway. "If you make one more move..."

"Leave me be Scott, mierda that hurts." A moan escaped the lips of his younger son.

"Then sit still...Murdoch!" Scott was surprised to see his father and the young man in the doorway. Johnny looked around his brother. "What's he doin' here. Ifn' he..."

Murdoch entered the room and stood over his son, "Settle boy, Mr. Bennett helped Teresa after that green broke mare threw her."

Looking at his father his eyes became concerned than angry,

"What the hell was she ridin' that irascible caballo fer. I told her she wasn't ready. When I get my hands on that girl..."

Murdoch put a hand on his younger son's shoulder, "What you are going to do is lay here quietly until Sam has a chance to check you out."

Johnny looked up at his father and older brother with defiance in his face, "You can't..."

"Boy, I can and will. Understand one thing John what hurts you hurts us. So please for our well being, lay still."

Bowing his head Johnny nodded, "Lo siento Murdoch, Lo siento Scott. I'll be good."

Looking around to the young stranger,

"Muchas gracias amigo." Johnny laid his head back on his pillows and closed his eyes.

Murdoch put a hand on Scotts shoulder, "Sam should be here soon, keep an eye on him son."

"Both eyes, sir both eyes." Scott said as he pulled a chair up beside the bed.

"Scott I'm going to take Mr. Barrett to your room to get clean, I need to borrow some clothes for him." With a wave of his hand Scott replied, "Sure anything he needs."

Backing out into the hallway so the large rancher could exit the bedroom, they continued across the hall. Opening the door to his older son's room, Murdoch ushered the young man in.

"You can clean up there." He motioned to the washstand and pitcher. Walking over to a large wardrobe, he opened the door and pulled out a shirt and pants. "You and Scott seem to be about the same size. When you're finished, come back downstairs and we'll talk."

"Yes sir, thank you Mr. Lancer." Murdoch left the young man to make him self more comfortable.

As he passed Johnny's room, he heard the soft rumblings of Scott's voice. He smiled, his sons, he felt a wealth of pride in his heart, and continued downstairs to wait for the doctor.

Todd Barrett finished buttoning the borrowed shirt; he wiped a hand down each sleeve, good quality fabric. Glancing once more into the mirror, he ran a hand through his dark hair. Stepping out of the bedroom and moving down the hall he heard raised voices, one was Teresa's the other he recognized as Johnny.

Knocking at the bedroom door, he got no answer, opening the door he pushed it open, Johnny was on one elbow pushing him into a semi sitting position; one hand holding his chest, Teresa was at the foot of the bed hands on hips. "I'm not a child Johnny Lancer, I can ride..."

Johnny snorted, "Yeah until ya fall off on yer a... behind. I told you not ta ride her without me. Ya coulda' been hurt bad. It was estupido mi hermana."

Teresa's stance softened, "You lay back or I'll call Murdoch." She moved to stand beside him. Glancing up she saw Todd. "Hey you look a lot better."

Johnny grinned, "Yeah ya look pretty." His lips turned down in a frown as pain lanced through him. Not taking her eyes off her 'brother', "Todd would you mind getting Scott?"

Concern in his voice he looked at the two people in the room, "Is he OK?"

Smiling Teresa wrung out a cloth and applied it to Johnny's face, "He will be once Doc Jenkins gets here. Please get Scott."

"I'll send him right up." Todd hurried down the hallway and found the staircase. At the foot, he made his way to the great room, where Scott and Murdoch stood waiting for the doctor's arrival.

"Scott, Teresa needs you in Johnny's room." The young man delivered his message. Without a word, the elder Lancer son turned and rushed from the room.

Murdoch looked at the young man before him, "So Todd is it? Well Todd you seem to be new to the area. Did you know you were on Lancer land where you found Teresa?"

"No sir, I didn't see a sign or anything. I thought it was open range." The young man seemed worried he would be shot as a trespasser.

"Lancer is 100,000 acres from that ridge to as far as the eye can see in any direction. We are a cattle ranch and we protect our own." Giving the boy a silent warning to be very careful of his ward.

"My father is a lawyer; he just opened his practice in Green River and another in Spanish Wells. So I am sorry I trespassed, it won't happen again."

Putting a hand on the young man's shoulder Murdoch smiled, "I'm sorry I worried you, if you cause no harm you are more than welcome to ride Lancer property. I also wanted to thank you for helping Teresa, she's usually a level headed woman, but there can be days..."

Todd laughed, "I can well imagine I have a twin sister and a younger brother and sister."

"Come on son I hear the carriage pull up, Doctor Jenkins has arrived." Murdoch strode from the room with Todd trailing behind.

Sam Jenkins, MD stepped down from his carriage, and a ranch hand pulled the horse and conveyance to the barn to tend the animal, he knew el medico would be here for a while, with Senor Johnny it was always a while.

Sam looked at his long time friend, and the young man beside him, "Murdoch, and young Mr. Barrett isn't it?" Holding out a hand the doctor shook it, "Yes sir it is. And Timmy's arm is healing nicely."

Sam addressed Murdoch, "The first day the family moved into Green River the youngest ten year old Timmy, fell out of a tree, I set his arm, and I could have sworn it was a young Johnny on my table. Speaking of which what's he done now."

As the three men moved into the house and up the stairs Maria put a pot on to boil water and took out her supplies of clean bandages. It seems since the ninos had come home that is all she ever did was heat water and roll bandages. She smiled as she set the basket on the table, but she would not complain they were home where they belonged.

Teresa came into the kitchen from the backstairs; she smiled at the longtime friend and housekeeper. Together they knew what needed to be done and did not need to speak. As they started up the stairs carrying their supplies and hot water, Maria smiled and said,

"Aqui vamos otra ves, chica."

Yes, Teresa thought, here we go again.

Johnny hurt too bad to fold his arms across his chest, but his eyes defied Sam, and Scott and Murdoch. He looked around them to the man standing against the back wall Johnny did not trust him.

"Don't know 'em, make 'em leave."

Turning back to the doctor, "And I ain't taken no medicina, makes me feel fuzzy headed."

Scott took his brother's chin in his hand and turned it towards him, "Johnny Sam's going to have to open the stitches and clean out the wound, then re-stitch you, it will take time and you will be in pain, as well as that rib." He bent lower so only his little brother could hear, "I'll stay right here, I'll watch your back brother."

Looking up into his big brother's eyes Johnny knew the truth of the statement.

"OK, but Doc just enough to dull the pain." He turned blue eyes full of distress to the trusted physician. Sam put a gentle but strong hand on his young patients shoulder, "Just enough to make it not hurt so bad."

Nodding his consent Sam cleared the room except for Scott and Maria. Looking down on the young man, "OK Johnny here we go."

It was over an hour before Sam made it back downstairs, Murdoch held out a glass of amber colored liquid to him, "Bless you Murdoch. That boy of your's could test the patience of a saint. He'll be fine, he didn't make too much of a mess with his stitches, the rib I was worried about, but it didn't move any closer to his lung." Taking a good long sip, the doctor looked over to young Barrett, "Now young man let me look at that cheek."

After his exam, Sam put a salve on the cut, he found out how he came to get such an injury, Teresa's fall and the judgment of Johnny Lancer.

Sam drove off with a promise to be back in two days, and a list of rules for Johnny to follow.

Young Todd Barrett rode off with an invitation to him and his family for a Sunday dinner in two weeks.

Teresa and Maria already with their heads together to plan the perfect dinner. Murdoch thought he felt the start of a headache. His little girl was growing up, her father and his friend would have been proud of her, if only Paul were still alive.

Looking up where he knew his younger son lay sleeping after his surgery, he could only guess at Johnny's reaction to the dinner guests in two weeks time. His younger boy did not trust easily, nor take anything at face value. Yes, he rubbed his temples, the start of a headache.

Sunday dawned bright and beautiful; Murdoch sat in the carriage waiting on Teresa and Scott. They needed to hurry or they would be late for church. He looked up at the sound of the front door opening.

Teresa was a sight, her new dress had arrived it only made her more grownup and elegant. Scott was behind her, his western cut jacket and black slacks, with his white shirt and string tie looked the part of the wealthy rancher. What surprised him most was his youngest son, Johnny closing the door he walked to the carriage with his confident cocky step. Black charro suit with silver trim a white embroidered shirt and red tie. The sight was breath taking; he was a handsome young man.

Low on his hips was the ever present gun, the young man seeing the disapproval on the older man's face smirked, "Don't worry Old Man; I'll take it off 'fore I go in ta the House a God." Johnny climbed into the back with Teresa and had no comment about being in the back with the children.

Green River boasted a Presbyterian Church, a Baptist Church and a Catholic Church. Johnny had them drop him off at the Mission he would meet up with them at Murdoch's church.

Murdoch still wondered why his younger son decided to attend church he had not done so since coming home. He felt a headache starting; this was not as it seemed on the outside.

Service over Murdoch looked over the heads of his friends and neighbors, he saw Johnny leaning on the carriage, gun firmly on his hip. His hat pulled down so you could not see his eyes, but Murdoch knew the boy took in everything.

Seeing Johnny straighten up he looked to where the boy's eyes strayed. Teresa had just come out of the church, Todd Bennett was there beside her, Mark Phillips, on the other side and Justin Thompkins behind her. Murdoch could see where this could get ugly fast.

Hemmed in he couldn't move fast enough to intercept, trying to get Scotts attention it was too late and he groaned aloud. Aggie Conway looked at the painful expression on her friends face, "Murdoch are you ok?" Glancing down to the pretty neighbor she followed his eyes to the scene about to take place.

Teresa O'Brien surrounded by eligible young men and Johnny Madrid on a bee line course. Aggie's lips made a perfect O.

Johnny set his sights on his 'sister' this was not gonna work for him, these boys needed to back off. His blue eyes like a glacier, his body language spoke danger. He was within twenty feet of the young women and her admirers when his arm was jerked roughly and he was lead away. His hand went to his gun but another hand grabbed his right arm, and together his brother Scott and good amigo Val Crawford, drug the gunfighter to the other side of the church.

Val slammed the boy up against the wall and held him there with a hand on Johnny's chest. Scott had left his brother with Val to disentangle his 'sister' from the young men before someone got hurt.

"Val what the hell 'r ya doin'?" Johnny tried to get away from his friend to only be slammed back on the wall.

"Now you settle down Johnny, I know'd what ya had in mind. Ya can't be intimidatin' every young buck that takes an interest in Teresa."

"Why the hell not? She ain't ready 'fore none a this mierda." Johnny stopped struggling and Val relaxed his hold. "Now Scott's gettin' Teresa to tha carriage, we are gonna walk nice 'n quiet like and you ain't gonna say a word to those boys, understand?

Shaking him like a wet dog Val stared at Johnny, "I said do you und..."

"Yeah I heard ya, now let me go." Johnny straightened his jacket and stepped away from the wall. Turning he walked back to the front of the church, Val beside him.

Passing the young men in question Johnny didn't say a word, but each set of eyes quickly looked away when the cold hard glare of Johnny Madrid locked on. A grin appeared on his lips, and he felt he had gotten his message across.

Climbing into the back with Teresa, he laid his arm across the back of the seat, and glanced once more at the young men assembled on the church steps, then pulled his hat down over his eyes, still grinning.

Teresa looked at her 'brother' he seemed happy maybe church was good for him. "You appear to be happy Johnny, did you enjoy the service?"

"Oh yeah I did; nuthin' like a little fear O God, 'or the devil' he thought to himself, to put a man straight."

Teresa thought that was good, and was happy Johnny had turned another page in his life.

Scott had heard the exchange between his brother and Teresa and smirked, he thanked God Val was there, when they got home he and little brother would have a meeting of the minds.

Murdoch still had the twinge of a headache and there was still dinner to go through. Lord help us all he sighed.

Aggie Conway's foreman dropped her off at the front of the Lancer hacienda, driving the rig to the barn to take care of the horses, he would eat with the bunkhouse crew. Aggie swept into the great room, "Murdoch thank you for inviting me." She gave the tall rancher a peck in his cheek, then gave one to Scott, when she got to the younger Lancer she laid both hands on either side of his face, pulled his head down and planted a kiss on his forehead. "It's so nice to be around such handsome men."

Seeing Teresa she put her arm through the young woman's, "Let's see if we can help Maria." As Aggie maneuvered the girl into the kitchen and some much needed women talk.

The Barrett's pulled up to Lancer in a two-seated surrey, the whole family. Mr. Barrett attorney at law, his wife of 21 years Edith, Todd, Julia, Michelle and Timothy; Todd rode his horse, as the back seat was full of Barrett's.

Murdoch and his son's greeted the family, the children were all talking at once, they had never been on such a big ranch, all the cattle and horses and such a big house.

Offering his hand Murdoch introduced themselves, "Mr. Barrett, welcome to Lancer. I'm Murdoch, my elder son Scott." He put his hand on the appropriate son, "And my younger son, Johnny." Dropping his hand from Scott and placing it on his younger son.

"I am Reginald Barrett, my wife Edith, son Todd, who I believe you already know, elder daughter Julia, then Michelle and my youngest and holy terror Timothy." The children curtsied or nodded. They were fascinated by the younger Lancer, his darker looks than his father or brother, his style of dress and his low slung gun.

Timmy who was not a shy boy walked up to the older man and looked directly into Johnny's clear blue eyes, "Are you a gunfighter?" Mr. Barrett cleared his throat, Murdoch scrunched his face, and Scott smiled. Johnny looked down at the younger boy, just a few years younger than he himself, "Was, sometime ago now I'm just a rancher."

"I never heard of Johnny Lancer, gun hawk."

"No don't suppose ya would." Johnny smiled and walked past the boy heading to the barn.

Murdoch ushered the family into the great room, where Teresa and Aggie met them. Timmy hung back looking as the younger Lancer casually walked into the barn.

Johnny lead Barranca, his Palomino, out into the corral he was going to put him through his paces. Having just broke the horse he was still a little green. Already the horse proved he was one good cowpony, and his compadre.

It was still a good hour before dinner so he mounted the golden horse and took him through intricate moves. At the corner of his vision he saw quite a crowd. Cipriano of course, anytime Johnny worked a horse the segundo was there. The boy Timmy and his brother Todd, Scott, Teresa, and the two Barrett girls stood around the outside.

His full attention on the horse Johnny nearly didn't see the boy jump the fence and run out to the horse and rider.

Barranca reared up front hooves slashing at the sky, Johnny thrown off balance, righted himself enough to stay in the saddle. In midair Johnny turned Barranca before his front hooves pounded the boy into the ground and certain death or serious injury.

Johnny jumped to the ground, the horse trembling he put his hands on the animal to calm him, speaking in Spanish in a low voice.

Scott and Cipriano rushed in to grab the boy and pull him to the edge of the corral, the women were in shock, then the sisters and Todd gathered the boy up.

Johnny dropped the reins and strode swiftly to the boy; before Cipriano or Scott could stop him he reached Timmy and grabbed his shirt front. Before Johnny could open his mouth to reprimand the boy a fist slammed into his face knocking him back he quickly recovered, Cipriano grabbed Johnny and Scott grabbed Todd.

The youngest girl had run back to the hacienda, shouting for her father.

"Calmarsa, Juanito." Cipriano said as he held tight to the young man. Johnny's breathing was fast his body tense, his blue eyes like high mountain lakes cold and unforgiving. After a while Johnny nodded his head, some of the fire burning in his body cooled.

Releasing his hold Cipriano pulled the ninos face around to him, tipping it up he surveyed the damage, the cheek would need stitches. Pulling a bandanna from his pocket he held it to the wound to stop the bleeding.

Scott let go his hold on Todd, the man hadn't tried to go after Johnny after the first punch. Watching as Todd shook his hand, Scott saw the big ring on his finger, and then looked across to his brother.

Cipriano had a cloth pressed to Johnny's cheek; blood still came from the cut.

Glancing at the younger Barrett boy and seeing nothing broken Scott quickly moved to Johnny's side. Looking at the segundo he nodded, "I got him if you would see to Barranca."

Without a word the large man walked slowly over to the still skittish horse. Glancing over to the hacienda he saw the patron and the Barrett's and Senora Conway rushing to the corral. The young Niño needed to be taught the ways of a working ranch. It could have been much worse.

Leading the palomino into the barn he passed one of the ranch hands, "Frank, go to town and get el medico. Juanito will need stitches." Nodding the long time ranch hand turned and mumbled, "Again."

Johnny was in the kitchen with Maria and Aggie, you could hear his voice in both Spanish and English, one could hear single words, 'fussin', 'dejar de', 'leave me be', 'madre de dios', 'ouch'.

Dinner of course was delayed, Timmy stood, his behind too blistered to sit. Todd had his head down, he hadn't intended to cause Johnny so much damage, he had been afraid for his brother.

Aggie Conway came from the kitchen, mad as a wet hen. Standing hands on hips in front of Murdoch she glared. "Your son said to 'don't hold dinner on his account', he has gone out to the barn to 'check on his horse', 'Sam Jenkins could tack him up out there'.

I am so glad he is your hard-headed, obstinate, cussed son. I would have killed him by now."

Patting the shoulder of the frustrated woman Murdoch could only agree with her, "I know Aggie, God knows, I know."

They did sit down for a very nice dinner, Maria and Teresa had outdone themselves. Conversation was quiet and polite, no one spoke of the incident, and glances to the empty chair went without comment. Scott kept glancing to the doors waiting to hear the sound of the doctor's buggy.

At last the sound Scott had waited for, he folded his napkin and laid it beside his plate, scooting back his chair he stood, "I'll explain to Sam, please excuse me." Murdoch watched as his son met the doctor at the door, in a low voice he could hear a lengthy explanation.

Within minutes Sam Jenkins returned, "Murdoch your son..."

Looking as flustered as he felt Murdoch groaned, "Lord, now what?"

"Well as I was about to say, your son John Madrid Lancer, jumped on that green broke horse and took off almost an hour a go."

"Damn that boy, where's Scott?" the rancher demanded.

Sam smiled at his old friend, "What he usually does, going after his little brother.

Remembering he had guests, he invited Sam to join them as they waited for his errant son to return.

Mr. Barrett did not want to appear rude, but the doctor had said something that lingered on his mind. "Murdoch?"

"Yes Reggie?"

"Sam said a name earlier." Looking embarrassed he continued, "The name he associated with you younger son, John Madrid Lancer. Madrid, I've heard that name before."

Timmy jumped up, "Johnny Madrid, the gunman. I knew it, I knew he had to be a..."

"Timothy sit down and control yourself." The young boy sat but fidgeted, excitement in his face.

"I'm sorry Murdoch, I apologize for my son. No disrespect was intended."

"Reggie, my younger sons past is just that, he came home to us and gave all that up, he's a rancher now. Most of the people in the valley know of him, but he's working hard to turn his life around."

Aggie stood, "Johnny is a good young man, look past his reputation and see the man he really is. Kind, considerate, he'd give you the shirt off his back if you needed it."

"He's still dangerous." Todd said, "I saw it in his eyes when he went for my brother."

"Your brother needs ta be taught what not ta do on a working ranch." Everyone turned at the voice in the doorway. Johnny entered followed by Scott. The younger man stood with dried blood on his face, staring at Todd.

"I wasn't plannin' on beatin' him. Just tell 'em ya don't go running inta a corral while a green horse was bein' worked. He coulda been killed." Putting a hand on Johnny's shoulder Scott moved past him, "If Johnny hadn't been as good a horseman as he is, Timmy would have been stomped to death. Now Sam you want to do this in the kitchen or upstairs?"

Sam stood and retrieved his black bag "Upstairs please. Teresa could you bring some hot water and clean cloths to Johnny's room?"

Teresa jumped up her beautiful dress rumpled where her hands had crushed the material in fists as she heard the talk about her 'brother'. "Be up in a minute Doc. Jenkins." Not looking at their guests, she walked by Johnny and put a gentle hand on his bruised and bloody cheek, "Go upstairs Johnny, let Doc. Sam clean you up."

She then continued to the kitchen to gather her supplies.

Scott gently pushed his brother forward, but Johnny was staring at Todd, "One thing Barrett, no one lays a hand on me. I figure I deserved this one, but don't ever touch me again, lessen' you wanna dance the full dance."

Leaving silence in his wake Johnny left the room; Scot bowed his head and followed.

Murdoch cleared his throat, "Well I for one would like a whiskey or brandy, gentlemen?" He motioned to Reggie and Todd. Both men nodded their acceptance.

By the time Sam Jenkins returned to the great room the dinner guests had gone, Aggie Conway was still there, and Murdoch Lancer was fit to be tied.

Seeing Sam in the door way the rancher asked about his son,

"Well Sam, what's the verdict this time." Sam's mouth drew down into a frown, what was it with this man and this boy, never an ounce of give in either one. "Your son had three stitches on his cheek; I don't think there will even be a scar. He's supposed to be resting now; however I don't think Scott can keep him there for very long. The wound needs to be kept clean and pray for no infection."

"I don't know about that boy, one minute I think he likes it here, that he's trying to change his life, then Madrid gets re-awakened and everything is out the window." Murdoch sat heavily in his chair.

"Murdoch." Aggies' soft voice broke the silence, "You have to remember that all he had growing up was him self. No one to defend him, no one to care for him, his instincts which served him before would come as natural to him as breathing."

"She's right Murdoch." Sam sat beside his friend, "You can't judge Johnny on conventional standards. He wasn't brought up like Scott or even the Barrett kids, it's a wonder he is as well adjusted as he is, and he clearly cares about his family and friends."

They heard a noise on the stairs, Scott looking sick walked into the room and over to the liquor cart, as the three adults looked on he poured a full glass of whiskey, and in one long gulp, took it all in. Wiping his lips with his hand he stood there, "Well, Teresa is in her room crying, Johnny is packing his saddle bags and I think I am going to get good and drunk."

Standing quickly Murdoch looked to his elder son, "What do you mean Teresa's crying and Johnny's packing?"

"My little brother told his little 'sister' how it was going to be about gentlemen callers. She of course didn't like the idea Johnny would call the tune on her beaus."

Pouring another drink Scott held it in his hand, "She then proceeded to tell him he could not and would not tell her who she could see, she then told him he had no right he was only allowed to stay because his last name was Lancer that Madrid had no place here." He then threw back his second drink.

Aggie stood, "I'm going to talk to Teresa, and Murdoch you need to honestly talk to your younger son, before it's too late." In a swirl of silk and petticoats, the lady rancher left on her mission.

Sam Jenkins gathered his black bag, "I have a patient to see, I'll let myself out." Looking at the two men. "Don't injure yourselves too badly I don't want to come out here again tonight." Sam retreated from the craziness that was Lancer.

Murdoch still sat, hands on knees, head down. Scott turned to his father, "Well, sir? I have tried, he told me he would keep in touch until I got tired of hearing of his gunplay or I got tired of having a gun for hire as a brother."

Looking up Murdoch stared at his son, "My God, he said that, he intends to return to gun fighting? What's wrong with that boy?"

"He's hurt, he's scared, but don't tell him that to his face, and he does not want to disappoint his father." Looking up Murdoch growled, "What does he mean by that? How could he... he is not a disappointment to this ranch or me. Doesn't he know I love him I'd never turn him away, he's my son."

Downing another drink Scott was well on his way to his promise, "Then Sir I would suggest you go to him and tell him what you told me. If I am passed out by the time you return just pour me in my bed and let me sleep it off."

With that, the elder Lancer brother snuggled into the sofa with a glass and a bottle.

Murdoch stood, glared at his son and turned to leave the room. Taking a deep breath, he ascended the stairs, slowly at first then faster as heard the crash from his younger son's room.

Bursting into his son's room Murdoch saw the washbasin and pitcher smashed against the wall, Johnny was sitting on the floor, his back pressed to the wall, knees drawn up and arms wrapped around his legs.

Slowly Murdoch approached, and knelt down by Johnny putting a hand on the trembling shoulder "Son are you alright?"

Shaking his bowed head he looked up into his father's face, Murdoch saw despair, pain and fear.

"I tried Murdoch, I fought so many demons to try and fit in, and I guess I never will. I only want what's best for Teresa ta keep her safe, and she throws it in my face that I ain't good enough ta be a Lancer.

Well look at today, I made a mess of your dinner and was an embarrassment in front of new neighbors." Pushing himself up Johnny squared his shoulders, bent down to help his father stand, and picked up his saddlebags.

Taking up his rifle, he moved to the door, but a solid wall was before him, he looked up into his father's face. "No John you will not leave, not like this. You had your say, now it's my turn. First, you are a Lancer, you will always be a Lancer no matter what other name you go by, second Madrid belongs here as well, he kept you alive when I could not be there with you, I may not approve of him, but I respect him because he is a part of John Lancer."

He looked deep into his boy's eyes, did he see hope there.

"Teresa is a girl on the threshold of becoming a young woman, she will need her brother's help as she learns that all men are not gentlemen. You have seen all sides of men, I trust your judgment. Your brother needs you to anchor him here to Lancer; now that he has found you it would not be fair to him for you to abandon him."

Johnny lowered his saddlebags, they hit the floor with a loud thump, and he bowed his head, and felt his fathers' strong but gentle hands on his shoulders

He had to lean close to hear his father speak, "And last my impetuous boy, I need you. I missed you growing up I missed so much. You are here now and I am proud of you, you have turned out to be a good decent young man. You're not yet nineteen, give me a few more years let me feel like I had some part in making you a true son of Lancer."

Putting one hand under his sons chin, he turned it up, and looked directly into the deep blue ones of his younger boy. "Johnny, son, in case I don't say it enough... you are good at reading a man through his eyes. Son, look at mine when I tell you I love you."

Johnny's heart thumped so hard in his chest he thought it would burst. His father loved him, wanted him, and trusted him. Moving his hands up he grasped the front of his father's shirt.

Buried his face in the soft material, his breath taking in the scent of his father. An old memory buried long ago. Looking up into the older man's face he smiled. "I don't remember anything of my life here on Lancer as a baby, but I remember laying my head just like that and your scent. I felt safe, loved. I need ta stay, please let me stay, I'll try harder..."

"Johnny stop, we all want you here, I want you here. We will all help you. Son, that's what family does."

As Johnny stepped away the door burst open and Teresa threw herself into her brother's arms, "Don't go Johnny, please. I am so sorry I didn't mean it. Murdoch make him stay, please Johnny I'll..."

"You'll make being a big brother hard. Querida, I promise I will not shoot anyone who want's ta step out with ya, but all bets are off if he steps outta line."

Her tear stained face turned up to look at Johnny, "And I will try and be aware that not all men are gentlemen."

Standing back from him, she smiled, "Just remember we all learn from mistakes. Let me make a few?" Kissing her on her forehead,

"I promise, just not too many, I may have ta rob a bank ta get money ta buy bullets." Teresa playfully slapped at his arm.

All three were startled when once again the door burst open, a disheveled Scott Lancer stumbled into the room focusing on his little brother he grabbed him,

"I will beat you to a pulp if you so much as leave this ranch. I will track you down and lasso you, I can throw a mean lasso now you know, and drag you kicking and screaming, you not me of course, I have more class than that, back here. I will then tie you to the bed, now don't take that the wrong way, tie you till you come to your senses." Holding a hand to his head Scott tried to re-focus.

"Are we having an earthquake? This room doesn't seem too stable."

Johnny looked at Murdoch, Teresa giggled with a hand over her mouth. In addition, Scott looked a little green. Putting an arm across his older brother's shoulders, "Big brother, when ya tie one on ya do a good job of it. Let's get ya ta yer bedroom."

"Johnny is that you? You came back! I knew you could not stay away. Lancer get's in your blood, besides little brother what would you do without me." Scott put a hand to his head, deep in thought,

"I think our father was looking for you, you know he really is not such an ogre, but do not tell him that, I would be cleaning outhouses for the rest of the year."

Heading his brother towards his own bedroom was a task in itself, Murdoch had to help direct his elder son down the hallway, Teresa opened the bedroom door and watched as father and brother deposited the semi conscious man into bed. Turning around Murdoch turned the young woman back into the hallway and closed the door.

Johnny and Murdoch undressed the brother and son they both loved. Pulling the cover up the proper scion of upper crust Boston society began to snore. It being Scott it was quiet and genteel.

Johnny and Murdoch stood outside the door and listened to the muffled snores of Scott Garrett Lancer.

Aggie came from Teresa's room. She gave Johnny a hug and patted his undamaged cheek, "You're a good boy Johnny Lancer. Don't ever change." Twining her arm into Murdoch's, "And now I feel I will need a room, since it is too late to drive home."

Johnny smiled as his father and his good 'friend' walked down the hall way together. Old' Man has a few good years yet, hope he don't take too long.

Heading to the outside staircase, Johnny climbed up to the watchtower. He could not see the land it was too dark, but he felt it sing in his blood, smelt it in the air, it filled his soul.

He was Lancer.

He had judged his father without knowing him. How could he not have remembered his father, the feeling of security, love? If only he had had that memory a long time ago, his path may have lead him here so much earlier.

Madrid's judgment used to be swift; it was how he had survived. His instincts honed to pick up the slightest disturbance in the very air. Madrid was wrong about Murdoch Lancer. And Scott, he should have known hate and fear clouded his judgment, when the Boston dandy turned out to be a fighter. Loyal, brave, passionate, he sure judged that book by its cover; to find out he was so very wrong.

Who was he to judge anyone? He was just a man, well truth be told a kid trying to be a man. Maybe he will let the old man be a father, call the tune. So long as he remembers, he's not a little kid.

Throwing out his arms, like he was grabbing Lancer in, he wrapped his arms around himself, clutching the warmth, security, and love to him. It was like a light shown into the blackest parts of his soul and began to shrink the dark.

The End

"Some people believe holding

on and hanging in there are signs of great strength.

However, there are times when it takes

much more strength to know

when to let go and then do it."

(Ann Landers)