Author: Elizabeth Wilde
Title: Wonderful
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who wants it, http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/xfic.html [my site]
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the people or the amazing song "Wonderful" by the amazing band Everclear. Bummer. Don't sue me, huh?
'Ship: none
Classification: general, slight angst
Summary: Rogue drives to the grocery store with Scott and learns a little bit more about him.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none
Feedback: to wilde_moon@yahoo.com if you value my insanity
Notes:

Rogue watched the scenery passing by out the window, her forehead leaning against the cool glass. It was unusually chilly for April, but the change was pleasant in a way. Everything grew strong and green, but the air lacked the usual tepid warmth of spring. //Why did I agree to go with Scott to get groceries?//

Her relationship with the leader of the X-Men remained, after almost a year, a distant one. She did well in his class, smiled and greeted him politely when they met in the hall, but they never talked the way she talked with Jean or Ororo. They were more like friends than teachers. Scott remained aloof from such camaraderie, and the lingering bit of Logan in her head insured that Rogue made no special effort to breach the gap.

For some unknown reason, when Scott walked into the living room that morning and asked the bleary-eyed, TV-watching group consisting of Rogue, Bobby, John, and Jubilee if anyone wanted to accompany him to the store, Rogue had raised a hand. "Sure thing, boss-man."

Now they rolled toward the store-a good twenty mile drive-in almost complete silence, save for the study buzz of the radio. So far, the DJ had played an impressive array of ads and teaser music clips but no songs. Finally the opening strains of a song began to pour from the speakers and Scott reached mutely over to jack up the volume, much to Rogue's surprise. //Doesn't seem like the loud music type...// Shock turned to near dismay when she heard Scott begin to sing softly, almost sadly, along with the lyrics in a voice more often on key than not.

"I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them"

The words struck Rogue as oddly fitting, and she found herself wondering how much Scott could relate to what the song said. His eyes remained-as far as she was able to tell-fixed on the road before them as he sang. She knew the song well, had the CD in almost constant play in the room she shared with Jubilee and Kitty.

"I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again

Hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry"

Rogue joined in the singing, her own twangy alto voice providing odd accompaniment to the music and Scott's soft tenor. Tears threatened as she thought of her own parents' fights in the weeks after she put David in a coma. She heard her father's angry shouts in her mind the way they had echoed down the hall to her room, felt a ghost of her mother coming in afterward, trying to speak words of comfort. "It's alright, sweetie. We'll figure something out."

"Close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now"

Things at home proved too hard, too much to handle. Rogue decided it would be easier to strike out on her own and find a way of hiding in the masses. She remembered her half-formed plan of running away to Alaska just like she had told David she would. Somehow it seemed things there would have to be different than the way they stood in Mississippi.

"I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I like to laugh so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home

Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now"

A few of the tears escaped, sliding down Rogue's cheeks. Much as it hurt thinking of home and family, sometimes it was hard not to. //The mansion's home now. The people there are more your family than your parents, girl. They don't hate you because you're different.// She rubbed hands suddenly cold despite the gloves covering them over the backs of her arms and sang a bit more quietly.

"I don't wanna hear you say
That I will understand someday
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna meet your friends
And I don't wanna start over again
I just wanna my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now"

As her focus returned to the car and the present, she found herself startled by the far-away bitterness and not-so-distant sadness in Scott's voice. The chords of the song faded into nothing, then another song jumped to life. Scott turned the volume down without looking at the stereo and Rogue watched as a tear traveled down his cheek.

Suddenly he did not seem as far away, as remote as before. On the contrary, she was almost certain she finally understood him, at least a little. //Now I know why I came.// Rogue smiled and leaned her head against the glass again, listening to the buzz of the radio and the vague roar of the tires.