Mummy2.html
Mummies never die or Imhotep's chase.
Script for movie "Good Old Mummy comes back and sucks you dry, dudes".
By Julis, also known as Seti the Last and High Priest of Seth.
Part of Imhoteps words are in Hebrew (see "The Mummy") and part in ancient Egyptian, so
don't be confused!
Chapter 1: Resurrection or never trust the girls.
The story starts in 1942 or around, when Alex was 15.
Scene 1: School excursion in British Museum. Since the curator was ripped in pieces by
Scorpion King couple of years ago, Jonathan took the job. Alex and his new girlfriend Sally
listens to his explanations:
Jonathan: Look, here we can see several souvenirs from Hamunaptra. This one is the
mummy of Seti in age of 5. This is the mummy of same Seti in age 70. Well, what else we
have? Several teeth of Anuck-Su-Namun, jar with scarab bugs, plastic copy of Book of the
Dead…Hey don't touch this you stupid boy! And what is this (looking with puzzled
expression at underwear, embroidered with little hearts and with inscription "Rick was
here")
Jonathan (blushing): Oh yes I think that my baby sister forgot this in some crypt during her
last journey in Hamunaptra.
Alex and Sally are deep in conversation:
Alex (boasting): And then I recited this incantation and my mom sprang back into life…
Sally (with very skeptic expression): Oh no, not this stupid story again! I don't believe one
word!
Alex (indignantly): But I did this!
Sally: Well then do it again. You have a lot of these dead guys here, if you manage to revive
even one of them I'll kiss your butt.
Alex: Done!
*Starts to recite incantation*
Immediately mummies started to leap from their sarcophaguses, twitch and whim.
Scholars screams and runs in every direction. Teacher stays petrified in a corner. Stuffed
animals from the next room also springs into life and partakes in wrecking havoc all over
the place.
Sally: Enough, I believe you!
But Alex seems to be too deeply absorbed in chanting and hears nothing.
Sally punches him painfully on the ass and at last he shuts up, but it's too late. Havoc
seems to be complete. Jonathan cries: "Save ancient artworks!", breaks the nearest
glass, snatches golden statue of Anubis and are going to flee. Little army of scarabs and
locusts bursts into the room and starts chewing on teacher's legs.
Alex: Hey I don't summon you, you disgusting insects!
Sally: Don't worry it's not your fault. They just came from the second story where
third-years had their entomology lesson.
Alex: Well then. Now where is my kiss?
But before Sally answered ominous music starts to play and something breaks into the
room. At the closer look something appears to be great mummy, with eyes, tongue,
T-shirt with motto "I hate you O'Connel l" on the chest and wearing blue jeans. On his
heels limps American tourist without eyes, tongue, T-shirt and jeans, but with big camera.
He's blubbering something about his eyes, tongue, T-shirt, jeans and wallet, so we can
make quick conclusions about the source of mummy's garments and organs (not about
the wallet, because this was stolen by Jonathan a hour before).
Mummy: Shalom, haverim! (Hebrew: Hi, buddies!)
Alex: He says he came to take over the world! Run for your life!
Sally (with dreamy smile): He looks kind of cute…
Mummy (as if remembering something instantly): Anuck-Su-Namun!
(Looking askance at old teacher woman, half eaten by scarabs): Anuck-Su-Namun?
Teacher: Aaarggghhhhhhh!
(Looking askance at Jonathan, who seems to be petrified at the spot): Anuck-Su-Namun?
Jonathan: No, no. I just have one of those faces…
(Looking askance at Alex): Anuck-Su-Namun?
Alex: No thank you very much, you ignominious gay!
(Looking askance at Sally): Anuck-Su-Namun?
Sally (with same foolish smirk): I wouldn't say no…
Mummy gonna kiss her, but at that moment stuffed cat from the next room runs in and with
horrible howl mummy turns into big pile of dirt.
Alex: Run you stupid chick!
Grabs Sally's arm and runs off the building.
Jonathan: Well I was always sure it's a lousy job!
Grabs all the golden and jewel things around and runs off the building.
Any feedback will be appreciated (it means r/r, or you will be sucked dry by horde of
rampaging mummies and then your miserable remnants will be eaten by scarabs! LoL!)
More later…
