Title: Schrödinger's Vortex
Continuity: G1 (part of ultharkitty's Dysfunction AU)
Warnings: gen, comedy
Characters/Pairing: Blast Off, Vortex
Rating: PG
Summary: Blast Off applies a form of quantum physics on Vortex.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing.
Beta: ultharkitty
Vortex was bored.
Onslaught was busy, planning some mission or some-slag, and had thrown him out of his office. Brawl was on the Nemesis, having a date with his triple changer tank buddy, and Swindle wasn't fun to annoy. Not after two joors, with Onslaught threatening to ban Vortex from their base for an orn.
Vortex could deal with being banned from HQ for a while, but it usually included some extra trouble with Megatron and Starscream, or Soundwave. As much fun as it was to play with the three highest ranking mechs in the chain of command, it was likely to result in him being punished with something other than a ban.
Vortex truly didn't want to watch over the hyperactive Stunticon again.
So, being banished led to an almost endless circle of undignified punishments that Vortex wasn't in the mood to deal with.
And so he'd ended up staring, once again, at a reading Blast Off, waiting to elicit a reaction from the shuttle.
4.72 breems had passed until Vortex' boredom and impatience became too much.
"Stop ignoring me, I'm bored!" The shuttle sure could spend a few moments of his precious time to entertain him.
Blast Off didn't look up, but at least he spoke. "I'm not ignoring you. I'm using applied quantum physics."
Vortex stared. The visor and battle masked fortunately hid his utter confusion. He didn't know much about physics, even less about the themes that had to do with space. The words quantum physics sounded complicated enough to cause Vortex to assume they had to have to do with space travel or thereabouts.
But at least the shuttle was talking to him. "So? And, how does it work?"
"It's easy. As long as I don't acknowledge you, you'll be in a non-real state which implies - to me – that you're not real."
"I… what? But I'm pretty much real. I'm sitting here." Vortex wasn't so sure any more if this was about space, or if Blast Off was having fun at his expense, but he didn't get it nonetheless.
"Well," Blast Off said, a hint of a dubious edge in the voice, "that's what you think."
The 'copter was confused. He slumped on his seat, and opened his energon cube.
Today everybody seemed to be an aft. Maybe he should try getting banned from base anyway.