Title: Birthday Suit

Summary: Completely stupid story. Face gets picked on!

Notes: A birthday fic for junkfoodmonkey. Hope you enjoy.

The frantic knocking on the door could only mean trouble.

Hannibal Smith moved to the door with cat like grace, even though he'd been sleeping mere moments ago. He held his gun in his hand, ready to react to whatever situation was on the other side of the door.

He knew that only a handful of people knew he was here. It was either one of the team or someone had found him. The latter seemed unlikely seeing as they were knocking.

Grabbing a firm hold of the handle, Hannibal opened the door suddenly hoping that he managed to surprise whoever was outside.

The surprise was on him.

There stood his lieutenant, completely naked with only his hands covering his dignity.

"What the hell?" Hannibal muttered in shock.

Face ignored the comment, making his way inside before anyone else spotted his bare ass.

"I'm gonna kill those guys." Face said angrily.

"Who?" Hannibal asked, his shock subsiding and amusement becoming apparent.

"Murdock and BA. They wanted to make sure I had a memorable birthday."

A snort of laughter escaped Hannibal before he could stop himself. Face shot him a look that may have been effective in stopping the laughter if he wasn't still standing there naked. "Well, surely they helped you do that."

"Look, all I need from you is some clothes and I'll be on my way."

"Sorry." Hannibal said.

"What do you mean, you won't lend me any?"

"I can't. I haven't got any. BA turned up last night and insisted he do all my dry cleaning for me. He said he had some kids from the Day Care centre he wanted to show how clothes were cleaned. I thought it was a bit weird. I haven't got anything except for what I'm wearing now. And you're not having that."

Face sighed, exasperated. His eyes wandered the room when he spotted a package with his name on. "What's that?" He said pointing to the parcel.

"Oh, yeah BA dropped that by for you. I forgot all about it."

"Would you mind opening it for me. I haven't got a free hand." Face said.

"Sure thing." Hannibal said. He picked up the light package and opened it. He couldn't stop the laugh escaping him.

"What is it?" Face asked.

Hannibal turned around holding up a white G-string with a fluffy red trimming.

Face managed to look even more pissed off. "There's no way I'm leaving here wearing that."

"It's either that or nothing. I need some sleep."

"You won't let me stay here."

"I have a cleaner in tomorrow. What's she going to think when she sees you sleeping on the floor? Sorry kid, now take your underwear and get out." Hannibal threw the gift across to Face, who instinctively reached up and caught it. Realising what he'd done, he just quickly put on the underwear.

"I'm gonna kill those guys next time I see them." Face said.

"Okay. Night then Face." Hannibal said as he climbed back in bed.

"And you," Face said said pointing to Hannibal as he walked to the door. "You're a terrible CO."

"You don't mean that." Hannibal said.

"Wanna bet." Face said opening the door, still glaring at Hannibal. He turned around just in time to be blinded by a glaring flash of light. Once his vision had returned he saw the grinning faces of his so called friends, BA and Murdock. Murdock had a Polaroid camera in one hand, and a picture in the other.

He passed the picture to BA.

"Whatta ya think, does that say Christmas card or what?"

"Yeah, has a seasonal feel to it. Think our clients will love to see it."

"I'm gonna kill you both." Face threatened again.

"Face, your gonna have to catch us first." Murdock said as he raced off to the left, and BA the right.

A flash from the camera came as Murdock took another picture of Face's humiliation.

Hannibal watched Face try to decide who to go after, as he started to walk to the right after BA, he obviously had second thoughts and went after Murdock.

"Face?" Hannibal called.

Peering round the door frame, he looked hopeful that his CO might help him out.

"Close the door."

The door slammed shut and Hannibal returned to a peaceful nights sleep.

The End.