Disclaimer : It should be painfully obvious I do not own these characters. If I did we all wouldn't be so heartbroken, because I think teasing is horrible. (Especially if it drags on for years and chants deny, deny, deny!)
A/N : This little tale takes place during "For A Few Demons More." Remember when Ivy & Rachel were fixing the living room, then they have a "discussion" about a blood balance? I was thinking, what if it went another way? And just so you know, Ivy POV in charge here people!
A/N 2 : Music was the life blood for me to write this. These tunes are to blame : "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want" by Deftones, "Mouth" -[the stingray mix] by Bush, "Scared To Death" by HIM
"The Midnight Gauntlet"
I could almost hate her for slinging around accusations like that. I bit her, I seduced her, I did this , I did that. Not once does she ever point the finger of blame in her own direction. All I've ever truly done is fall in love with her, then try to give us both what we want; each other. I flee the sanctuary as fast as humanly possible, since I know vampire possible freaks Rachel the fuck out. And before I say or do something I will regret later. Her damned phermones are killing me, I swear to all things unholy the witch is aroused all the time. I stop in the kitchen to try and stifle our mingling scents, with the strongest cleaner in the house. Fuck! my hands won't stop shaking. I accidently drop half of the canister in the sink. Well that certainly killed the smell. Annnd...fuck a duck here she comes!
Oh, here we go again. I want a blood balance, but I couldn't bare that thought of anything more with you. Your mouth lies witch, but your body doesn't, I can smell how turned on you are. I try and brush her off, with logic, about how bad of an idea it would be for us maintaining a blood balance. But in true devil-may-not-give-a-shit Rachel Morgan flare, she pushes. Bite me! her pulse is racing a million miles per hour. Then, as if to add insult to injury. "How often do you need blood?"Of all the questions she's ever asked me, that one felt ugly, even to me and I've done so many ugly things in my life. Then she goes and throws her sexual needs into the mix. I blushed, I couldn't help it. I never expected Rachel to tell me about her insecurities, it caught me off guard.
I mumble answer her question, apart of me feels ashamed, for my own needs. I finally dare myself to stop hiding behind my hair, and look at her. That flaming red hair fills my vision, but it's her eyes that slay me through the heart. I used to fantasize I was imagining what her eyes show me, but I can see it now, love, compassion, and longing. It's sad really, her mouth is the only part of her that lies, worst of all she lies to herself. I watch her eyes move over the kitchen, then she looks at me, I make eye contact with her. Shit! she is going to kill me. Her arousal just found another gear for fucks sake! I really need to get away from her, preferably out of the church into the open air.
"I can do that." Rachel states, even though her voice is laced with uncertainty.
What the fuck, is she even thinking clearly right now? I pause to glare at her brieftly, giving her my "are you crazy witch look." Then I dip into my vampire strength, to get the hell out of there. I can hear her plainly, even several rooms away, it's like she's shouting in my ears. For some reason, probably temporary insanity or maybe this is me punishing myself, I stop my exodus, and face Rachel. Her breath catches in her throat at my sudden appearence in front of her, I can smell the adrenaline dump and more arousal. Make this quick witch, before I just grab you and give it to you.
I steel myself, before speaking. "Why are you following me, I gave you that vampire dating guide for reason." Secretly, I hoped it would take away some of her fear. Because I stupidly thought she was scared of the vampire side of me, when in fact, it's the female part of me that scares her shitless. I stand there and listen to more wild accusations. "I know you're afraid-" Rachel pushes, and I snap.
It makes me unbelieveably angry when she accuses me of being afraid. That manages to dissolve any form of self-control I have left. I turn her words back on her, as I grab her by the arm. I haven't lost complete control, but I know my eyes have gone black. I feel Rachel's fear, it's a deliciously pungent cocktail coupled with her other bodily reactions.
Her love for me always grounds me, I would never hurt her. I have her backed against the wall in the sanctuary, our combined scents are lulling me closer to Rachel. I know she loves the sound of my voice, so I drop it to whisper. "I know you love me Rachel, I tasted it when we shared blood. Yet you stand here and lie to me, telling me you want a blood balance and nothing else, but I know better."
I lean away from her, pushing on her shoulder forcefully. She looks like her legs are going to give out on her. Hell, if I allowed myself to walk around with that much pent up sexual frustration, all of the hollows would be running for the ever after. I guess thats why she's fucking Kisten now. I muse to myself. Which is why I couldn't save myself, waiting for Rachel, yet another demon for me to wrestle with. It hurts to know she loves me unconditionally, but convinces herself she doesn't want me sexually.
I walk towards the door to the church, I can feel Rachel's eyes on me. I've felt them many times, I know she likes the way I look. Though, I would never force myself on her. The closest I've come to that is when she seduced me, by playing on my instincts. I'm almost convinced that wasn't an innocent mistake on her part, her body was screaming "Yes" to me.
"Ivy, please don't go. We can make this work, I just want you to be happy." Her demanding voice once again rings in my ears. I stop in the foyer, she can't see the smirk I'm sporting for a few heartbeats, before I turn. I move my hand to my hip, and turn to face Rachel. I will my face into frustration, annoyance, and disgust at this situation. She is a bit of a blood ecstasy junkie, and it's completely my fault. Adrenaline junkie part, not my fault.
I give her a close-lipped smile. "Rachel, I won't be biting you again. It's not enough for me anymore, even when it was, you are always so caught up in blood ecstasy that I hurt you, badly. And unless you suddenly want to give into your desires to have sex with me, things will go south as they say." I couldn't stop myself, I had to call bullshit on her.
"What!" Her voice is almost shrill. I watch surprise melt all over face and her fists clenching at her sides.
"You heard me just fine Rachel. That mouth of yours lies, but your body's reaction to me you simply can't play it off." I reply, cocking my hip.
Now Rachel looks like she wants to run, right through me. I can smell her anger now, mixing with our collective emotions in the room. I know Rachel rationalizes her attraction to me as "saving me," I don't have the heart to tell her eventually that warm cozy blanket won't wash out so clean, in time. I can't understand it, if I were a man, she would have insisted we be married by now, just so we wouldn't be living in sin.
"Ivy, I.."
"Don't, don't you dare!" I scold her. To hell with this!
"Fine...you want a blood balance so bad, hurt me then." I say as I move towards her, with all my vampire speed. I catch her around her neck, wedging her arm behind her back. She tries to fight me, but she is no match. Through the mild pain she's experiencing, due to her own struggling, I smell her surrender.
"We can share blood if you hurt me Rachel, it's the only way I can stop." I breathe into her ear. "Or you can love me without the hurt, while we share blood. Those are the options." She struggles in my grasp more, demanding I let her go. Which brings our bodies closer together, then I smell a fresh wave of arousal crest in Rachel. Oh God! this woman is going to kill me faster than a stake throught the heart would. Oddly, Rachel is becoming a metaphorical stake through my heart, everytime she denies she doesn't want me "that way."
I'm suddenly blindsided by the most extreme phermone rollercoaster I ever been on. I smell another surge of adrenaline, out right want and...acceptance? "God, you smell good Rachel." I feel her relax into my grip, while her pulse picks up even more at my words.
I brush my lips against her bite scar. The one where Al bit her, when he appeared as her hearts desire; me. Very telling if someone where to ask.
"Either bite me or let me go." Rachel states, in a very breathy voice.
I pause to consider her ultimatium for two breaths. "How about neither." I reply, while snatching up Rachel in my arms and carrying her to my bedroom.
I'm not going to do anything she doesn't want, but I am going to push her way the hell out of her comfort zone. I gently lay her down on my black silk sheets, her body starting to ping out fear. The monster in me is rattling against it's cage, that I have fought so hard to put in it's rightful place. With Rachel's help. I choose to release quite a few calming phermones, now standing over her you would swear she is taking nap. Then, those green eyes flash open, they are sugared, but also angry with me.
"Ivy, what the crap do you think you're doing?" Rachel leans up on her elbows to look at me.
I move closer to my bed. "Close your eyes." I say letting my voice drop into the grey silk register, that Rachel is so fond of.
The turn take it, this woman is like a gravy train with biscuit wheels. Her pulse just kicked up again, and she smells like she is on the verge of having an orgasm. I lower myself to lay beside her on my bed. I reach over to run my finger down her neck, her breath catches in her throat. I can't suppress the small smile that forms on my face.
"Keep your eyes shut." I breathe near her pulse. I hear the small moan that is born, and dies in her throat at my words. I light up the bite scar with just a touch of my hand, Rachel reaches for me and pulls me on top of her. This is the only chance I will ever have, so I kiss her. I don't even think she is aware I'm even kissing her, she is so far down the rabbit hole. So I move my hand off her scar, to bring reality crashing back to her. Her hands that were clutching me so tightly, loosen and fall away, it's as if she suddenly became a frozen statue. I move my hand to the back of her neck, as she has yet to respond to the kiss. My heart will break before I cry over this.
Just as I'm about to pull away, I feel Rachel's hands in my hair and she starts kissing me back. My elated heart and soul immediately move to deepen the kiss. If this is a dream I hope I never wake up.
Rachel breaks our kiss, holding my face in her hands. "Oh God, Ivy." She moaned while reclaiming my mouth. She starts grinding her hips into mine now, somewhat aggressively. I feel her tongue then, asking for entrance in my mouth, I grant it. Rachel moans at the contact, as do I. We have to stop though, I don't want Rachel to look back on this as a mistake.
I move my hands and body off her, my position looks almost as if I'm going to do a girl pushup. Rachel clings to me, like I'm the last life preserver drifting on an endless ocean. I laugh a little into our parting kiss.
"Rachel," She opens her eyes to look at me, as her grasp loosens from my body. "this was only meant to be a taste. It could always be like this between us, but I want it all. I don't want a friends with benefits deal with you, it would never be enough. I can't bare the thought of you thinking that I took advantage of you, or you being with someone else. So, it's all or nothing Rachel." I walk backwards from the bed as I speak, stopping to lean against the wall.
Rachel remains on my bed staring at me, yet not, lost in her thoughts no doubt. Her pulse is still hammering in her veins, and her scent is heady. The monster in me is a mad dog in lust right now. But, my will is stronger. Rachel abruptly sits up and moves to the foot of the bed, then stops, to stare at her hands in her lap. The waiting is killing me, I want to leave this place so bad right now. I fold my arms across my chest, while letting my vision blur, leaving the world around me to look like something a toddler might paint.
"Ivy," Her voice sounds so small and far away. "I'm scared of this, but I do love you...and want you that way." She doesn't look at me as she says this.
"And what way is that Rachel?" I ask, tiredly. I've made myself perfectly transparent to her, it's the least she can do for me.
"Romantically," I look up to meet those eyes that shine like emeralds. "as in a relationship, even though I suck at them, but you already know that." Rachel's voice tapers off at the end. She looks away from me, towards the leather curtains that block out the sunlight.
"Okay." I move to kneel in front of her, timidly taking one of her hands in mine. "on one more condition though." I smile at her, while gently grasping her chin with my other hand, to turn her face towards me.
She gives me a small smile in return. "What's the additional condition?"
"You kiss me this time." I smile wider, knowing that my little fangs are showing.
And she does, extremely well I might add.
-END-
I have been reading The Hollows since 05' and have been utterly heartbroken since 09'. I would never write a book, put two characters in it, then tease my readers with them, then not deliever on the promise that dangles between the two of them. WTF! And remember at the end of FAFDM, Rachel was going to give Ivy a try, then nothing! Ugg, moving on. I enjoyed writing this...so could I get some review love for my efforts...pretty please with Tink's slutty little red panties on top?LOL
[Footise Note: Keeping with tradition, the title is from a Clint Eastwood movie called The Gauntlet (very fitting), I simply inserted Midnight ;P]