Jar of Hearts, a fullmetal alchemist fanfic

Jar of Hearts

Authors Note: Hey everyone! I was taking a shower when I started singing to Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri. After listening to the lyrics I realized it would perfectly fit a RoyxEd fic. That is where this idea came from. This is YAOI I might add and is a one-shot all right? Ed is 20 and Roy is 34. Al is 19

RATE THE DISCLAIMER: I do not own FMA blah blah blah. I also do not own the song Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri.

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Ed's POV

'DAMN IT, DAMN IT, DAMN IT! I can't be in love with Roy Mustang, aka Flame Alchemist, my superior AND the biggest womanizer in all of Central.' I took a deep sigh and walked into Mustang's office.

"I got your report Colonel Bastard." I grunted.

I was recently sent on a lead for the stone but I came back empty. However, it led me straight toward a surefire lead. All I have to do is set out for it as soon as possible.

"Good Fullmetal. Did you discover anything new?"

'Besides finding out I love that bastard of a Colonel... I bet he means…'

"Wait… What did you just say Fullmetal?" Roy stared at me with a shocked expression.

'Dammit did I just say that out loud?'

"N-nothing. I d-didn't say anything." I could feel the heat of a blush rising on my cheeks. I stared at the floor, avoiding his gaze. I looked up in surprise as Roy walked over to me and lightly grasped my chin. Before I knew what was happening, Roy was kissing me full on the lips. I was shocked! I just accidentally confess and now my secret love, well not secret anymore, kissed me! But, it felt soo good and right to be like that. I leaned into the kiss and shivered when Mustang put his arm around my waist. I pulled away slowly, gasping for breath and watched Mustang stare at me with love filled eyes.

" I've been waiting so long to hear that." Roy murmured.

I blushed again and glared as he chuckled.

"You look so cute like that." He chuckled again.

" I found a perfect lead though. I am completely sure that I will get Al's body back with this!" I cried ecstatically.

"I don't know... I'll miss you if you leave for too long. I always do. But I know you have been trying to fix Al for your whole life. Just try to come back soon."

I smiled and leaned in to kiss him one more time. He met me halfway and we kissed passionately for a moment. His tongue lightly licked my lips, asking for entrance.

I willingly complied. This time Roy pulled away first. A thin trail of saliva connecting us. He gave me a big hug then sent me off for my lead.

"Wait." Roy turned to face me again as I leaned against the door frame.

"Will you promise me something?"

"Anything Ed."

"Will you wait for me? Do you really love me? Will you always love me?

"That's more like somethings Ed." Roy chuckled.

"Ed, I promise to love you forever. I promise to never abandon you and I will wait for you forever. Now get going so you can come back sooner."

I smiled and walked out the door.

OoOoOoOoOo 3 month time skip

'I knew that lead was it!' Al finally had his body back. After 9 years, he finally got it back. I walked out of the Central Station and headed upwards my favorite cafe. 'I want to see my lover but that train is freezing right now. I just hope this isn't too bad a December. I got the bastard a great gift! Made it myself.' I slowly opened my bag to produce a beautiful pictureframe inscribed in golden wildflowers from when I dropped Al off at Resembool and intricate burning flames. I set the present back in it's wrapper before walking into Coffee Kingdom. Just as I walk in, there is Roy and.. and... THAT BASTARD!

Roy was standing there with ANOTHER WOMAN! Well... Damn it you know what I mean! I walked up to Roy, seething.

"Roy? Who. Is. This?" I ground out.

"I'm Serena! Nice to meet you. I'm Roy's girlfriend. Do you know each other?" Serena looked at us, confusion dancing in her eyes.

"No I don't! Not anymore!" I spat. I slapped the asshole hard and walked out of the cafe. Once I was out of the shop, I ran as fast as I could in a random direction. I think Roy followed but if he did I lost him. Tears slipped down my face as I ran faster. The day slowly turned into night.

I don't know how it happened next. I was sitting at the bench in Central park when suddenly a man walked up to me.

"Hello Fullmetal Alchemist. This time, you will die." The figure spoke coldly.

That voice... Scar! I jumped and dodged just as he touched the spot I was sitting at. The bench blew up and shards scratched me and knocked a bulb out of a streetlight above, the park was pitch black now.

'I can't see anything!' I panicked

Looking around I ran for the central HQ that I could see in the distance. Scar was a step ahead of me though. As I ran near the direction, Scar slammed his hand to the ground and broke up the sidewalk underneath me. Flying, I slammed hard into the ground again underneath another streetlamp, this time brightly lit and the nearby telephone poles. I gingerly got up and started running when I heard my name again. However this time it wasn't Scar. Roy was running towards me. Sheer panic and terror on his face. That's when I saw the lights above flicker. When the telephone pole blew up from Scar's hand, a bunch of sparking wires were heading for me from the sky. My automail was a lightning rod when the wires fell and I the electrical charge that came with it was excruciating. I screamed in pain and agony as the electricity continued to consume me, shocking pain filled all my muscles, nerves. I screeched a blood-curdling scream before passing out.

Roy's POV

After work I left to go meet a spy who was supposed to be looking out on the whereabouts of Scar. Her disguise was of my girlfriend since Ed and I have to keep our relationship secret. I really miss the short hot-headed blond. I was ordering a coffee at Ed's favorite cafe and discussing our next strategy when Ed walked in. I never knew he would be coming back yet and I was surprised to see him and froze. The hurt, pain and misery that filled his eyes so quickly scared me and just as I was about to ask him what happened, Ed asked" Roy? Who. Is. This?"

I tried to stop Serena but she replied

"I'm his girlfriend."

Eds eyes swelled with anger and misery that I was stunned when Ed slapped me hard with his automail hand and shouted

" No I Don't! Not anymore!"

"You idiot!" I hissed at Serena.

"That was my boyfriend you just made cry and run away. You know the Fullmetal Alchemist?"

"Shit! I am so sorry! I just ruined your love life to the degree. Go now or else he'll never be able to come back!"

" Eh? What do you mean?"

"Scar is in Central. If you don't hurry he'll die!"

Horror filled me and I dashed out of the shop looking for Ed.

'Where did he go? It's so crowded I can't tell where he went!' I decided to just go left and hope I was right.

OoOoOoOoOo

'Damn it I've been searching for hours and I still can't find him' I am really worried now.'

Out of nowhere came a bright light and a BOOM!

That's it! I ran toward the direction it came in. Towards the park. When I arrived the area was pitch black. There was no moon and I couldn't see. The light sparked again and I staggered in that direction. I tripped on a broken and sintered bench and realized that was the handiwork of Scar.

'Shit! I hope he didn't find Edward.' looking around I saw the back of Scar. I pulled on my gloves and snapped just as Scar used his hand on a telephone pole. He dodged and ran with a content look. I glanced at who he was chasing and to my horror, Ed was there... With telephone cords about to fall on him.

"Edward!" I screamed.

He looked back and I saw surprise and he looked at me before looking up. The cord fell right behind him but his automail acted like a lightning rod and easily absorbed the raw power. Ed's shriek will always haunt me. I was powerless. If I try to rescue Ed, I will get shocked. If I wait Ed's screams will torment me. No matter what, Ed would suffer the worst. The sparks died down and soon it was safe to help him. I started shaking him.

" Ed please wake up!" I whispered. I felt for a pulse... and couldn't find one.

" No... NO! NO!" I cried

"Don't leave me!"

'I got to get him to the hospital quick but first I should get him to breath.' I kneeled down and started compressions. After a few minutes Ed started hacking. His eyes fluttered a bit but he didn't open them. Now that he was breathing I ran as fast as I could for the hospital. After a few more minutes I ran through the double doors and shouted

" Please Help me!" instantly, a group of nurses and a stretcher hurtled toward me. Ed's heart was weak now and just as he was laid on the stretcher his heart stopped again.

"Doctor! We need shock therapy. Now!" I watched in frozen terror watching, as the love of my life was dying in front if me.

"Clear!" the shock pads hit the heart area and Ed convulsed.

"Again" Ed convulsed once more.

"Again!" Ed still didn't start up. I sunk to the ground in misery. I failed him and in the last minutes of his life he thought I betrayed him.

"One more time" I heard a gasp followed by coughing. I looked up with tears glistening in my eyes. Ed was alive! He was breathing!

"He's safe now don't worry. I am going to have him stay for a couple of days and then he can go."

I got up thanked the doctor and followed as they rolled the gurney to Eds room.

OoOoOoOoOo

Eds POV

'Ugghh. My head hurts. What happened?' I slowly opened my eyes and was shocked to see Roy in the room with me. Anger flared through me.

"Why the hell are you here?" I raged.

"Why aren't you with your f***ing girlfriend! Or did you come just to be an ass and tease me with more fake love. Get out!" I spat.

"But, Ed-"

"I already told you to get out now!" I looked around and picked up a vase.

"OUT!" I threw the vase just barely missing Roy's head as he ducked and then ran out the door in a flurry of panic. I knew that was wrong but that bastard broke my heart. I flopped back onto the bed. The pain in my body was light but now after all the stress and exertion started making the pain even worse. I laid back down. I don't really know what I want to do anymore. Al doesn't need me and no one loves me. Roy played with my feelings. I don't really have anything to live for. My mom died, I don't know where my bastard of a father is, if I left the world right now no one would probably care part of my fire died that day.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

After 5 days in the hospital, the doctor let me out. Roy wanted to pick me up but I glared hard and walked away when I saw him. He had Havoc and Riza with him and I knew they were both questioning him on why I was so pissed. No one came after me.

'I knew it. They don't really care too much about me.' I walked straight towards my dorm. Depression started settling in.

'I'm worthless. Roy doesn't love me, no one does. Al has Winry and a body, he doesn't need me. I don't have a reason to be in the military and I don't need the philosopher's stone either, I like automail." I walked into my dorm and stared into space after locking the door and sitting on the bed. Nothing to live for… Nothing to live for… I got up again and walked to the bathroom. Looking around I found a razor. No one loves me, cares for me. I make it hard for everyone. I failed mom, I couldn't save Nina, and I only just fixed Al. I know he says he doesn't hate me but how could he not? I trapped him in a suit of armor were he couldn't eat, sleep, feel or dream. I picked up the razor and dragged it slowly across my wrist. Crimson life force flowed out of my wrist and pooled onto the white tiles of the bathroom. I stared at it for a bit before grabbing some gauze and washcloths to clean it up. Once I finished I put it away and walked to my bed. I sat there for hours and the light in my eyes, my fire, died completely that day leaving a broken man.

OoOoOoOoOo

For a couple days all I did was stay in bed and nibble slightly on things in the pantry. I constantly visited the bathroom for my razor so that I can feel again. Everyone would be better off without me. I ignore all calls and whenever someone knocks I never answer. Every time I hear that bastard pleading with me I wonder if it was true or not. But given he's the biggest womanizer in all of Central, I don't believe him.

'I don't feel like living anymore!' I shout and cry in my mind. That's when it happens.

Ring! Ring!

At first I regard it as another annoyance from Roy but I stiffened when I hear him.

"Brother? It's me Al. I heard from Colonel Mustang that you got attacked by Scar. I hope you feel better. I'm worried. I also heard that you haven't talked to anyone in days. Are you all right? Should I come over?"

I reached over and picked up the phone.

"I'm fine Al." I groaned, my voice raspy.

"Brother! How are you? Are you good? You sound horrible are you sick? Should I come over?"

"Al if you actually give me time to explain you might get your answer. I'm fine, I'm not sick and you should stay there. Oh don't talk to me about that bastard either I hate him."

"Ehh? Brother I thought you loved him? What did he do? I'm always here for you brother you know that."

That hit me, hard. Even though Al didn't need me anymore he still cared. Hope flashed in my heart.

"Mustang cheated on me. After I told him my feelings he promised me many things but one was that he would wait and he loved me. When I came back, I didn't announce it yet to surprise him and I found him with a girl who said she was his girlfriend."

I started choking up at the end and heard Al gasp.

"That bastard! What now brother?"

" Well I got real down and stopped talking to everyone"

"Forget about him. Don't let him ruin your life. If you want you can stay with us for a bit to get away from it all. Winry wouldn't mind at all!"

"Naw I feel better already! I need to go back to work anyway. I'll just avoid him when I can and I'll be fine. I'll call you later Al kay? Love you little brother.

"Love you too Nii-San!" Click.

'Yeah. I do have people who care! I'm gonna show that bastard just who he lost. For now though I'm gonna hit a bar. It already...' I glance at my pocket watch, ' 8:53 pm.' I grab some brown pants, a white shirt, and a brown vest. I pull my hair into a high ponytail (imagine Ed from the Shambala movie) and walk out the door wallet in hand.

OoOoOoOoOo 10 min later

"A scotch, hard on the rocks, and a Buck Rodgers." ( Guy version of a Shirley Temple )

As I waited for the drinks I noticed the piano and mic in the corner. People were just getting up there and singing whatever. Normally I don't sing, but the few times Al and Winry caught me singing they always said i had a good voice. There was a song a friend of mine wrote but never published. I helped her write it. I got up and took the stage. I sat at the piano and started singing and playing but unknown to me, Roy Mustang walked into the bar at the EXACT same time as when I started my performance.

OoOoOoOoOo

Roy's POV

'Damnit!' that was the FIFTH time I tried calling Edward's dorm. I visited a couple times too but every time he never answered. I smacked my head against the tabletop next to the phone. How can I tell Ed that I never cheated?

'Ugghhh. I need a drink.' Walking out of my house, it took me 5 minutes to get to a favorite bar of mine. Just as I walked into The Boozing Onion (Name courtesy of my brother… -_-' ) I noticed something amazing… Edward, was playing the piano but even better, he was singing to it as well. Not wanting to miss the chance I quietly walked in unnoticed and sat down to listen to his song.

No, I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

Dear, It took so long just to feel all right
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?

I froze during the song. He is most definitely talking about me. I got up and waited for Ed to get down after his applause. I watched him walk back to his seat and take a drink of both of his drinks before I walked over.

"We need to talk Ed." I spoke softly. I noticed Ed stiffen before he got up and looked at me. There was anger and some hurt in his eyes but the fire that was missing the day he kicked me out of the hospital was back.

"Seriously Ed. I want to explain. The day you came back from your journey, Scar was spotted around the area. I was assigned to work with Serena to help figure out where he was. Serena was a spy who was acting as a citizen and not a highly trained soldier. Her cover was she was my girlfriend because of my previous title of a womanizer. I haven't dated anyone since we both confessed. I would never try to hurt you that way. And when I heard Scar was in the area, I ditched her and went looking for you. I thought you were going to die when I saw Scar destroy the telephone pole and you got electrocuted. In fact you did die. Twice! It hurt me so much to see you die. I'll do anything you want if it means I get to be with you and have you believe me." I pleaded, tears coming to my eyes, but I blinked them back. Ed only gave a small sigh.

"I'm sorry Roy. Maybe you were telling the truth but it hurt so much to see you with her. Given your past I can't tell if you are lying or not. I don't want to have my heart broken again. Not if I can help it. I do love you but I lost my trust in you. To me it looks like you've broken every promise you made to me the day I left. If you can prove to me that you will honor those promises this time then I might but for now I don't want to get together. If you really want to show me you love me then you must wait for me. I am not ready and you have to keep your promise this time. In due time I will trust you again but right now I don't. Please understand." Now tears were coming to his eyes. I can hear his voice cracking the entire time and I see just how much it hurts him to reject me. I give a small sigh.

"If that is what you wish Ed then so be it. I love you and will honor your wishes." I grabbed his Scotch and down most of it in one gulp. Ouch that burns…

"Know this Edward. There was one promise that I would never dream of breaking the entire time you've been gone. I thought about it everyday and I know I would never break it. I promised to love you forever and I always will." I left some money for the scotch there, smiled at Ed and left.

'I will wait Ed. Forever, I will wait."

The End

Okay sorry it took so long to write this. My brother kept taking my laptop whenever I didn't need it for homework. He didn't like his because it's slow. Well I have been so busy I haven't had time to even use his laptop when I was done. I started writing my stories on the school bus in the morning and on trips like today when we went to the Tacoma mall for black Friday. It was pretty far from where I live so I was writing this story on the road. I am glad I finished. Think of this as a late Thanksgiving gift from me to all of you. I will do "Don't Break My Heart" next and then "Why Me" Happy Thanksgiving everyone and a happy Black Friday too! 11/25/11