Title: Underneath It All
Author: OpheliacAngel
Pairing: Ethan/Dorian
Genres: Romance/Friendship
Rating: Teen
Summary: It would be sickening to admit to knowing that this would happen, but in some sense Dorian had known all along that it would. He just never quite expected that he would fall in love with the man.
A/N: Written for h/c_bingo for the prompt 'skeletons in the closet.' Love love love these two, that scene was so hot, plus I just love seeing a vulnerable side to Ethan and to Dorian as well.
"Why do you have that empty space on your wall?" Ethan's murmur was only that, barely heard in the humble quiet of the room, hardly rising above the crackling of the fireplace, yet it irrevocably established his vulnerable side.
Dorian had often found himself hating the flaws of humanity, their frailty and desperation to find meaning in the most mundane of things, but everything about Ethan was genuine and beautiful. There was this strong American man and he just broke right in front of him not forty-five minutes ago, had given himself completely over to Dorian, who had every right in the world to leave him vulnerable and exposed.
But Ethan... Ethan had chosen him, had caught a glimpse of the darkness within Dorian and the accompanying darkness within himself, had let it burst out and mold with his own. They fit together somehow, so well, and if Ethan was frailty then he was too. The way that Ethan had touched him, like a raging beast at first but then following Dorian's lead and his ripping off of Dorian's clothes melting down to a slow pace, their kisses less forceful yet far more heated. Ethan had looked at him and Dorian had felt more important and worth something than he ever had before.
There was no reasoning behind slipping out of this bed and leaving behind Ethan, who was still draped over him, whose dark eyes were suffused with such light, such hope. Dorian could not abandon him just as he could not abandon himself. The man was better off without Brona and he was most likely better off without Dorian too, but Dorian didn't have the heart to end it so soon.
"My lack of response has not satisfied your curiosity then?"
There was such a thing as venturing too far into darkness, yet Dorian hardly thought that concerned Ethan. There was something brimming under the surface of the man, something waiting to be let out, yet Dorian did not fear the darkness in Ethan as much as he did in himself. He knew his own well enough, yes, but its ancient cruelty brought him down to his knees nonetheless.
The question still made him panic, even after all these years, but there was something in Ethan and his heart stopped racing. They were the same, Dorian just didn't know it yet.
"Mmm," Ethan practically purred.
Dorian laughed, an arm falling across the warm shoulders of the man whom he could almost give up all his secrets to. "And what should I take that to mean?"
"I just... I don't know why but it bothers me. Haunts me, in a sense. It reminds me of something too." There was a darkness in those eyes, a distance too, a distance that became greater and stirred something up in Dorian akin to longing. The truth, however, would only haunt Ethan further.
That his painting aged while he did not, that nearly every night Dorian would venture to it, willing himself to look upon it and yanking himself away just before his fingers could do more than brush the fabric covering his painting. That Dorian could not die. That he knew not what would happen if or when he looked upon his own painting.
No, Ethan didn't need to know. More over, Dorian didn't need to be reminded of his suffocating immortality.
"It is a long story, and a somewhat old one too."
The skin in between Ethan's brows scrunched up in concentration and Dorian easily smoothed out the painful looking fold of skin with the pad of his thumb. There need be no reliving of memories tonight, they were meant to celebrate the present time. Still, it remained easier said than done, and Dorian could hardly take away all of Ethan's failings and inner pain.
Yet Ethan looked up at him with wonder for a moment before a twitch of his lips betrayed an almost smile and his large, soft and incredibly warm hand caressed Dorian's face, pushing back the hair shielding his eyes. The weight of the man and the fact that he was perfectly draped over him should have proved too much for Dorian, yet Dorian found he would not move Ethan for the world. He had never felt more relaxed and at ease with himself.
"Dorian?"
There was no fear to be betrayed in those eyes, yet Dorian knew it was there. The fear of rejection, of Ethan not knowing who he truly was. The fear of wanting to be someone else too, and the fear that Ethan had somehow ruined his night. It would be sickening to admit to knowing that this would happen, but in some sense Dorian had known all along that it would.
He just never quite expected that he would fall in love with the man.
"We need more to drink."
It was a simple statement and a rampant need to moisten his dry lips, yet Dorian had no energy or desire to leave the comfort of his bed or the genuine warmth and affection of his companion to refill the decanter. Ethan, however, took it upon himself to push the roll of guest over onto Dorian and somehow managed to get up without much movement. They hadn't been lying together for very long, yet the absence of Ethan from his bed still startled Dorian.
Dorian had shared his bed with many a mortal, both female and male, but no one was quite like Ethan. All the others were easily forgettable, proving in the end that Dorian was better off alone, yet Ethan tested that theory with his own undeniable charm and taunting depth.
Ethan cleared his throat. "I agree."
Before he could leave the bed completely and walk out of sight, Dorian grabbed Ethan's hand and gave it a sharp tug, pulling the southerner down on top of him again. They rolled around for several moments like children, kissing fervently and with familiarity as if they had not seen each other in years, except Dorian ceased to feel too young for any of it. And Dorian knew that this was what he wanted. Ethan smelled intoxicating and his skin was too delicious for ample words. The love in Ethan was hidden down so deep but it was immaculate and terrifying, and it brought out that need in Dorian that he was no longer ashamed of, that need to be loved.
He counted and kissed every marking etched into the man's skin, every physical imperfection, and when he was done he laid back and watched Ethan's fingers as they traced along his chest, and when Dorian closed his eyes he could feel the weight of Ethan's head as it settled on his stomach.
Dorian opened his eyes and found himself smiling back at a beaming and happily sated Ethan. The man's hair flopped down in front of his eyes, making him look young and far too adorable to be ignored for long, and Dorian's breath caught at the sight, at the bewilderment that he had acquired such luck. His heart swelled and his hopes soared to greater heights, like a bird escaping from its gilded cage.
"Ethan..."
"I know. Me too." Ethan's voice was more than a murmur now, it was deep and rumbling yet incredibly gentle and soft, a comforting voice that surrounded Dorian like a blanket. There was no expectation or pressure, just an infinite amount of patience, and that was what made their moment so perfect, so lasting.
Ethan smiled wider and it was the source of all light in existence, his face the center of Dorian's world. It wouldn't last, whatever this was, but it did not matter now. Dorian bared his neck and Ethan's head found itself tucked into it, a painful reminder of the secrets to be revealed and the consequences of when they were. A painful reminder of just how much Dorian could lose.
FIN