You Don't Realize What You Have
Until It's Gone
He could remember her smile, her laugh, and the way she could make fun of him for just about anything. He pretended to be hurt, but on the inside, he smiled, and yearned for the attention.
At the time, he didn't notice, but the young Earthbender had grown fond of him. He would be the one she would clutch when she was scared. He would be the one that she could talk to about anything. It was him, not Aang, or Katara, but him.
At the time, he didn't think he'd love her. Suki was his 'love', and everyday he thought about how he was going to rescue her. Everyday he tried to remember what it was like to feel her in his arms. He had loved Suki, that was for sure. But Toph was just his friend. She was his best friend, someone he cared about, sure, but not his love.
She thought differently, and she knew, that he didn't know, that she loved him. Every chance she got she would be close to him. He would be there, in her imageless dreams. His touch, his smell, his outline...they were all there. But she knew he would never feel the way she did back. Not after the scene from the first invasion attempt. She knew that he loved her very much.
But perhaps she was blinder than she made herself out to be.
It's not that he didn't love her, but he was confused. What if Suki was dead? Or what if she was cold in her cell, waiting for him to rescue her? There were so many questions, and each day he wished he could have answers.
But he didn't need answers on that day. The day the Avatar saved the world. The day she fell to the ground. The day he ran over, screaming her name. The day time stood still.
He rushed over to her, hoping, praying that she was fine. That she was going to pull through. He thrusted his helmet off, and carefully undid hers. Her silky hair draped down her petite shoulders, and he held her in his lap.
She smiled up at him, with her wound spilling blood. He panicked, ripping off loose clothing to use as a tourniquet. She didn't say anything, just took her shaking hand into his.
Tears formed from their eyes. And then he knew: she was going to die.
Her wound was fatal: a sword gash was noticeable from her abdomen. He tried his best to slow down the bleeding, so she could have more time on Earth, with him.
She rested her tiny head on his chest, in which he presumed she was listening to his erratic heartbeat. He held her closer, inhaling the scent of her hair, locking it into his memory. His clouded eyes blinked, letting salty tears flow freely. He stroked her hair as she held one hand over her painful wound, and the other still locked with his hand. Although pain was surging like lightning through her tiny body, she continued to smile, knowing that whatever happened, she would be with him, in his arms. Finally, she spoke, "I love you, you idiot."
He looked down at her, straight into her unseeing eyes, as she looked back at him. It was that moment, when he knew. Where all of the memories came flooding into his mind. She loved him. And he loved her back.
"I love you too," he said, trying to hold in his tears. He wanted to lean down and kiss her just then, but he knew that he was too late. Her head tilted back, and her body became limp. Her body grew pale and cold.
Sokka didn't know how long he had held Toph on that day. Bodies spread around them, and many were wandering, looking for their loved ones amongst the dead. He knew that Aang had won from the cheers of his fellow soldiers. But he could not celebrate. At what cost was this war won?
Katara had found him there, still clutching the Blind Bandit's small body. He was mumbling words of forgiveness into her deaf ears. His sister was stricken with shock, but knew that he couldn't stay there forever. She tried approaching him, to comfort him. But he got upset, screamed at her, and hid his tear blotched face in Toph's flowing hair.
"Sokka, please, stop. She's gone." Katara had whispered softly.
This time, Sokka let her approach him. His sister a hand on his shoulder, and he rose slowly with Toph's limp body in his arms. He said nothing more that day. Or that month. In fact, he didn't say anything for a long time.
Aang had made sure that the greatest earthbender in the world got a proper burial. She was buried in her hometown, where an earth-made statue of her stood proudly over her grave.
Sokka visited it often, bringing her favorite smelling flowers, and placing them at the foot of the statue.
One day, his friend had followed him to her grave. The Avatar watched as his friend put the beautiful flowers down. Then Sokka spoke, "Hey Toph. I know you are probably tired of hearing me say this, but I miss you. So much. There isn't a day that goes by where I haven't thought about you. Your smile, your laugh. Gosh, I wish you were here to make fun of me, and punch my permanent bruise on my arm."
Sokka laughed, and sat down cross-legged, looking up at the magnificent statue above him, "So anyways, I wanted to tell you again that I love you. And I don't know if you heard me say it that day, but I did. I just don't think I realized it until it smacked me in the face. You're right you know. I'm an idiot."
Aang's heart felt heavy, but leaning on a brick wall wasn't helping. He didn't realize before how much she meant to him. How much pain must me inside of him now, realizing that he didn't get to say how he felt to the girl he loved. Aang, all of the sudden, felt very grateful.
"So I hope you have forgiven me by now. I just wish you were here with me, so we could have shared our love with each other. I would do anything to get you back. But you know what they say, right?"
He paused, as if waiting for an answer.
"You don't realize what you have until it's gone."