The Werewolf Handbook (or How Not To Maul Your Grandma)

by I Am The Eleventh

Are you a freshly turned Werewolf searching desperately for guidance? If so, then this book is for you! Featuring hilarious and witty commentary by yours truly, this handbook will tell you literally everything you need to know, from staying in control to step by step instructions on how to use your brand new werewolf oven! - Stiles Stilinski, Your New Favorite Author

1. Introduction

Introduction: So You've Been Bitten By...Something

Let's cut to the chase shall we? You and I both know you've been bitten by a werewolf. All one of us has to do now is accept that fact.

Yes, that means you. You, reading this book right now, full of anxiety because the other night something bit you. Something large. And hairy. Probably with red eyes. Probably in the woods. Probably in the dead of night.

Oh yeah, I can hear you trying to come up with a hundred different reasons why I'm wrong. It was just an animal. Werewolves aren't real. (Ha, werewolves aren't real…)

Here's the evidence that werewolves are real, mi amigo:

a) My best friend is one

b) You are one

c) I'm always right

What, you want more than that? Well, riddle-me-this, if you know so much:

Why do you feel different?

Why can you hear your parents murmuring in the next room over?

Why can you read this even without the light?

Why can you smell your sister's perfume in the bathroom down the hall?

Why are you suddenly faster than the whole damn track team?

Why can you lift anything, from your nasty old gym teacher to your bed, without breaking a sweat?

And why is every trace of that bite miraculously gone?

Face it bud, you're a werewolf. Say it with me. Werewolf. Lycanthrope. Hombre-lobo. Loup-garou.

Okay okay okay! Take some deep breaths! In out. In out. It's NOT the end of the world. Or of your social life. Well, it is, kind of. But also it's really not. You can do this.

Step one is pretty simple: Don't panic.