One Sunday afternoon a lovely family of white rich people arrived at their lake house expecting to have a nice and frivolous weekend, but once they arrived they noticed something very strange and slightly suspicious, but not suspicious enough to make them take warning: Their next-door neighbor, Fred, was with two sissy-looking morons, named Peter and Paul. They had emo haircuts and looked like fags, and the first thing one would think after seeing them is that they were a couple of sodomites, but the lovely family of white rich people didn´t care about that, and they went to their house.

Some moments later, those two morons appeared in the house of the lovely white people, asking for some eggs or some shit like that. They looked incredibly retarded when they did that, so Ann Farber (That´s how the sexy mother of the white rich family was called) feel sorry for them and let the two morons enter their house, while her husband (called George) and her son (called Georgie…I guess)

Ann Farber gave the two morons the eggs they wanted, but a few moments later, they returned with the eggs broken so she gave those two fags more eggs, but those retards broke the eggs once again because they were two fucking retards who couldn´t do anything well. The whole situation started to frustrate Ann, so she asked her husband George to politely ask the two fags to leave their house, but then one of those two retards (Peter) broke George´s leg with the golf club.

The two morons tried to take the family as their hostages in order to make them to be part of their incredibly pretentious and retarded "Funny Games" (more like, "Unfunny games" amirite guys?) and it seemed like a really shitty situation, but then somebody knocked the door.

"Fuck…" Peter said, and then he went to answer the door, ready to kill the idiot who was knocking the door, but once he opened the door, he had a taste of one big fucking piece of metal on his face, which cut his retarded face in a half.

"NOOOO!" retarded Paul exclaimed as he saw his incredibly stupid partner Paul to die in such a gruesome manner, and he was ready to use his fucking retarded magical remote control, but before he could do that the same weapon which was used to kill the retarded Pete was throw at him, and soon, that other idiot was impaled to a wall, where he had to suffer a long and painful agony.

"What the fuck?" Ann Farber asked. And then she saw that the man who was at the door seemed to be Javier, the incredibly manly gardener of one of their neighbors…What Ann Farber ignored is that Javier was actually fucking Machete Cortez, who pretended to be the noble gardener Javier in order to embrace (for a while) a peaceful lifestyle. He got over that phase, fortunately.

"That´s what you got for peeing on the roses I planted…" Machete said, as he used a rusted knife he had to skin Paul alive, killing him in a very painful manner. Once Paul was dead, Machete used his machete to chop Peter to pieces and he feed the dogs with the remains of those two idiots.

Once Ann, George and Georgie were ok, they say: "Thank you Machete"

And Machete looked at them and said: "De nada, guys."

THE END

(Too bad that Michael Haneke didn´t include this plot twist on his Funny Games movies, because that would have been a fucking improvement.)