Disclaimer: Joss and company created them, I just play with them.
Title: Hold you in my arms
Author: jazzman31
Rating: T
Warning: This is a femme slash fic. If you do not like this type of fiction, then you shouldn't read it.
Summary: For some reason I am in the mood to write songfics, and here is another one. Very short, not as sappy as the last, but still Waith. Ray LaMontagne wrote this song it is call "Hold you in my arms." Hope you enjoy, please give me some love, even if you don't like it.
When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears
It was easy to see that you'd been crying
After the fall of Sunnydale, we all went our separate ways. Kennedy and I broke it off mutually, deciding that we weren't really what the other needed. I went with Giles to Cleveland to being the new Council, and Buffy and Dawn went to Italy. Faith went with Giles and me, and I was a little unnerved by her decision. She needed redemption, as did I, but a month into our progress found her in my bedroom. She stood next to my bed, her whole body shaking with fear, unshed tears, yet her cheeks were tearstained. I sat up in the bed, and opened my arms to her, and she slowly crawled into the bed in into my arms.
Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns
But who really profits from the dying
At first, I thought that she just needed a hug and comforting words, but when she began to talk to me, I knew there would be more.
"Red, I feel like you're the only person in this whole world that I can trust. You and me we have touched the darkness, and we know how easy it is to go over that edge. Everywhere I go there is death, and chaos, and destruction, when will it stop. Who gains from my killing, who gains from all the death? I mean, you feel powerful in the moment, but when it is over all you're left with is the guilt, and blood stains on your hands that haunt you forever. How do you deal with it all, how can you be so together all the time?" she had asked me.
"Faith, I struggle just like you, it would be so easy to just tap into the dark magic, and get a high on the power, but I remember that there is a picture so much bigger than my high. A cause so much greater than myself, and I pull myself together and do what needs to be done," I told her.
"Yeah, but you're not a killing machine. Killing is what I was built for, and I can't do that effectively when their faces flash before my eyes every time I slice a demon in half," she said, as she moved to get out of the bed.
"I know, but I am a witch, and I have to do magic to contribute do this fight, and sometimes I want to tap into the darkness, because with that much power flowing through me I can do whatever my mind wills, and not have to chant or make potions," I explained, and she relaxed back against me.
"What a pair we are," she said with a chuckle, as she got more comfortable in my arms.
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you in my arms forever
I could hold her forever, and never think twice about it. She's a killer, is what they would say, and I would respond with so am I.
When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions
It's my worried mind that you quiet
After about three days of her sneaking into my room after a nightmare, she took to just going to bed with me. Giles didn't say anything, and neither did Xander or anyone else. I am sure that they understood that we needed each other. It was that or they were afraid of saying anything to Faith for fear that she would pummel them. One night, she looked into my eyes, and slowly brought her face to mine. She pressed her lips so softly to mine that I wasn't sure she had just kissed me. My head swirled with so many questions, that I couldn't voice with her tongue in my mouth. As the kiss progressed, I gave up the fight and I stopped worrying, because for the first time since Tara's death I felt at peace.
Place your hands on my face
Close my eyes and say
Love is a poor man's food
Don't prophesize
Her hand cupped my cheek, and rested her forehead against mine when the kiss finally ended.
"What does this mean?" I asked her after a while.
"What ever you want it to mean, Red. I don't do love, and I don't want to jinx what we have by putting a label on it or trying to define it. Don't try to predict how this will turn out, because I promise that I won't hurt you intentionally, I have changed, and all I want now is to be accepted and l-" I cut her off before she could say that word with a kiss.
We made love, it was so gentle I was near tears when we finished. I didn't even know she could be that gentle. She is so amazing.
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
And I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
I held her while she drifted to sleep, and I saw an older version of myself holding her through the night. I knew then that my new destiny was to hold this broken woman in my arms for the rest of my life.
So now we see how it is
This fist begets the spear
Weapons of war
Symptoms of madness
She stood on the battlefield, her eyes turned up to the sky. Another apocalypse diverted, and Kennedy was standing next to her. I went to Faith first, checked her over to make sure that she wasn't hurt. I needed her to be okay, and could feel the daggers that Kennedy was sending me as I tended to my wife. I needed her to know that I loved her without a doubt.
"Ken's hurt," Faith whispered to me, as she shrugged off my attempts to check her out.
"So are you," I stated harshly, more harsh than I had intended.
"Nothing fatal, check on Ken, I will check on the others," she said.
I kissed her lips softly, and then went to check on Kennedy. She was holding her side, and I healed it for her, and then walked away. When she had come to Cleveland after being gone on missions for a year, she had hoped that we would be able to get back together, but I had married Faith, and she had tried to convince me that we should be together. Faith hadn't said anything as she watched Kennedy kiss me, she remained silent as I slapped Kennedy across the face. She kept quiet even as Kennedy shouted vulgarities at me, but the second Kennedy's hand raised to hit me, she was there pinning Kennedy's hand behind her back, making her submit to the superior slayer. They since made up, and had even become friends, and Kennedy hasn't made anymore advances on me. I looked across the field to find Faith, and I smiled at her, she smiled back.
Don't let your eyes refuse to see
Don't let your ears refuse to hear
Or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness
When we got home that night, we showered together as usual, but she didn't try to get into my pants the way she usually did after patrol, or an intense battle, or just in general.
"What's wrong baby?" I asked, as we got ready for bed.
"Do you really love me Red?" she asked.
"Of course I do, silly," I said.
"Are you sure?" she asked, as she stood there in all her glory.
I was taken aback by her beauty, as the moonlight filtered into our room, illuminating her.
"Faith, if I didn't love you, I would have never asked you to marry me. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't hold you every night, and wake up with you every morning. Don't let your fears get in the way of what your eyes tell you when I look at you. Don't let you fears keep you from hearing how much I love you, or you will always be sad and afraid of the love that we have," I said as I took her hands into mine.
I kissed her knuckles, and then her wedding band, while looking up at her through my eyelashes.
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold on forever
And I could hold you in my arms
I could hold forever
That night as we lay basking in the afterglow, I knew that I would always have to reassure her of my love, but I also realized that I didn't mind, as long as I was able to hold her in my arms.
So what did you think?