Warnings: none
Author's Note: comic-verse background in terms of relationship, though I altered the timeline. Movie-verse Clintasha relationship though, Post Avengers movie time wise.
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Avengers or any of the characters involved on the show. :[
Of Distant Memories and Forgotten Dreams
Natasha-
I've been thinking about you a lot lately, have you been thinking about me? Of course not, you're the one who chose to leave, the one who ended things before they began. But I'm not bitter, or angry with you, I could never be angry with you. I know now why we never could have worked-not with our lifestyle. But that was a lie, wasn't it? One we both told ourselves to make it easier. Because I hear you're with him, and I have a feeling you know I'm with her. And they both fall into that lifestyle that prevented us from being together.
Once upon a time I loved you, and once upon a time I think you loved me too. But as you used to say, love is for children. And so are fairy tales. All we have is reality, and we both know our reality dictated that we were never children, both of us forced to grow up too fast, with ghosts instead of childhood memories.
Before you left, when 'we' decided we could never be, you'd said it would be too complicated, that it would only open a weakness for our enemies. So I ask, is your life in New York with him less complicated? I have no shame in admitting that my life, here in Los Angeles with her, is more complicated than ever and I have a funny suspicion it will only get more complicated.
I suppose by now you must be wondering why I've chosen now to seek you out again, after all, its been a few years since we parted partnership. I suppose at its simplest, I am writing to ask if you are happy. I only ask because I've found I cannot answer the question for myself, and I have a nagging suspicion my answer lies with you. Natasha, I am getting married. Well, I haven't asked her yet, but we've talked about it and I know she'd say yes. After you left, SHIELD partnered me with Bobbi Morse, one thing led to another, and if things continue as they are, we'll soon be married. I know you already know of her, just like I suspect you weren't surprised to read I know about Murdock. But despite us both being involved, having moved on as they say, I find my mind constantly on us. And before I can execute my plan to propose, there are some things that I must know; things only you can provide answers to.
I want to know if you've ever thought about us having a future, or if it was as hard for you as it was for me to end our partnership. I want to ask you if you were lying to yourself when we parted paths or if you really believed what you had said, or if you've had regrets since I last saw you. I want to ask if when we were walking away from one another for the last time you ever turned to look back, because I did, but I never saw if you did. I want to know who's taken my place as your sparring partner, who patches you up after a mission, or who's there to hold you after a mission goes wrong...Natasha, I want to ask you so many things, but I won't.
Before I move on with my plans, my life the best I am able to, I need to ask you just one thing. Natasha-Nat, if I may still call you that, I need to know-before I close the book on us, do you think we could still have some child's play?
Always,
Clint.
A/N: going off of the comic history that Hawkeye marries Bobbi Morse/Mockingbird, they move to L.A. and Natasha has a relationship with Matt Murdock/Daredevil...one-shot, may turn into more though if people want a follow-up.