A/N: I want to slap her. That was the hugest 'fuck you' to every single Narusaku shipper out there, I sorta feel bad for their simultaneous meltdown. But seriously, who else wanted to kick her? This is a vent fic, meant to explore all angles of this. Every chapter will be someone new. Some people will shamelessly bash her, others will blow sunshine out her ass, but I will give everyone a turn. Ending with Naruto and then her.

Enjoy~

Kick in the Pants

Chapter 1: Kakashi

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"I've seen your flag on the marble arch love is not a victory march…"
~Jeff Buckley

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Strange, how he has never been more proud of her than in that moment, when she has shattered his heart before his very eyes. He is no sadist but the boy's pain isn't the point, it has never been the point; It's what exactly it was that she was willing to do.

Haruno Sakura had finally become a kunoichi.

For the first time she put Konoha above them, this was her moment of patriotic malevolence in the name of her nation. Except no one would ever know but them.

Naruto knew. No one could give him credit for his smarts but if there was one thing that boy knew it was Sakura. And no matter what, she had never been able to lie to her boys.

"I-I've discovered that I really love you…" A half-assed confession with the best of intentions.

He knew, he knew, he knew. And she knew he knew, he suspects. But she persisted. This was for him; this was the most horrid act she had ever committed. Breaking the heart of someone she loved, and not for lack of trying, was not in love with.

And to Kakashi, pride was all he felt; the disgust and contempt he managed to shove into the back of his mind.

Because Sakura, with her soft hands and squishy heart, who believed in love stories, romancing and roses in vases, Sakura who wanted and wished and cried like a child; conceded to this. Resigned herself for what he knew she would commit herself to for the rest of her life. Being with a man she did not love.

God, did he want to slap her.

HARUNO SAKURA. That was who she was. That was her entire being. She wasn't supposed to be stupid. She was a part of his team, she would fight. And she wouldn't leave her friend behind, she was not trash. And if he had anything to say about it, then she never would be.

It's about time Haruno Sakura grew up.

"He knows."

He doesn't answer.

"But I can't, I can't let him go. This is for Konoha, and what has he ever done for us?"

Saved your life, let you in, broke your hearts. "You don't need to justify yourself to me."

She's crying, but he's Kakashi and doesn't know how to deal with it. "God, this is completely messed up."

He couldn't help himself; he slapped her upside the head.

"Hey!"

"Stop wallowing in self-pity. I taught you better than that."

Suddenly she is glaring so forcefully he takes a step back. There is hatred that he has never seen in her face and it is directed at him. She is feral and livid in the dim light of dawn, her anger tangible and welcome after the suffocating melancholy. "You didn't teach me anything." She says, outraged. And true. And he hadn't, nothing but the shared lesson of the importance of a team and the building block foundation of an almost-family. This, he feels guilty for.

"Well, that changes now."

He jerked her by the arm, fully intending to give her the swift kick in the ass she has needed for a very long time. "What are we going to do?" She stops dead, suspicion apparent. She's stronger, physically than he is and solid. She refuses to move.

He is in the back of his mind praying that he is not too late, as he always has been.

"I'm going to teach you," What I should have been doing since the beginning.

And with a swift tug, she followed.

/I\

She will always follow…

/I\

A/N: … I have no explanations other than NYAH.

Review please~