A/N: for the sake of my own amusement, Vampires have more humanish qualities in this story (e.g. they can sleep/cry/blush/get sick).

And thank you very very very very very much CarlisleCullen199 for helping me do this!

"Garrett!"
I was knocked sideways by the force of the hug, his arms immediately around my neck. "Hey, you."
"I missed you so much!" he kissed me suddenly and as inviting as it was to kiss him back, I had to shove him away. A look of hurt flashed across his face but he nodded slowly, watching his feet.
"Sorry…I just…I missed you," he mumbled before turning to walk away, effectively closing the subject.
I sighed heavily; although it was agony, we weren't allowed to be like this in public. Aro would refuse to let Carlisle stay head of his coven, and I would be kicked out of mine and get the shit shocked out of me by my wife. Carlisle and Esme were supposedly still married too, except while Esme had no idea about me and him, Carlisle was painfully aware of her and her new boyfriend, having walked in on them before. There was no way we could ever come out; this wasn't something that the immortal world took to kindly. The laws were ridiculous; I couldn't even hug him in the presence of others out of fear they would suspect the truth. Anyone deemed 'gay' was punished beyond belief, Aro claiming that it 'corrupted our pure image'. He wanted us seen as some perfect being, and anything outside of his vision was harshly unaccepted.
I knew this was hurting Carlisle far more than it was hurting me; I still had someone friendly to go home to, someone who loved me. He didn't have that. His home was hostile now, his coven not approving of the little that they knew about him. Theoretically, this was endangering everyone we knew; if someone found out, they too would be in danger of having to face Aro's wrath, and Aro would stop at nothing.

It was killing me; he was literally two feet away from me and I couldn't even hold his hand. Instead my fingers were wrapped in Kate's, who was oblivious for the time being. Carlisle refused to look at us, keeping his eyes on the back wall. Even though the situation frustrated me, I was sure it was physically painful for Carlisle. At least I didn't have to watch him with Esme; they just ignored each other mostly.
Time seemed to pass slower and slower, and there was still the possibility I wouldn't actually be able to be alone with him in the first place. We were just lucky no one saw the kiss, or shit would have it the fan.
Eventually I couldn't stand it anymore; he looked so close to tears. As soon as the conversation ended I told Kate that her sister was looking for her, barely able to wait until she was out of the room before locking the door. He didn't react as I took his hand, staying perfectly still and holding his breath. "Carlisle, you okay?" I asked slowly, trying to gage his emotions. I wished that Jasper could be on our side, which would have made things a little easier.
He swallowed thickly, nodding anyway. "Yes…"
"What's wrong?" I stepped forward, closing the space between us and pulling him against me.
"Nothing, Garrett." He leant his head on my shoulder, his voice becoming muffled by my clothing.
"What happened? Is this about Kate?" I didn't have to ask; I knew how it felt to watch him with Esme on the odd occasion when something happened.
Carlisle sighed and turned away a little. "I know you have to and I know you love her, but I just…" He trailed off, not finding the words.
"It's okay. I'm sorry, I wish I could change things."
He squeezed me a little tighter before ripping away completely. "You can't change it. Neither of us can." And then he was gone, the door swinging shut behind him.

"Boy trouble, Garrett?" Tanya asked, coming in the doorway he'd just fled from.
I started; surely she couldn't mean…No. I fumbled for a lie and came up with part of the truth. "He's not feeling that great…"
"Sick?" she guessed, moving to get something from the cupboard.
"No…like emotionally…"
"Oh. What's up with him and Esme, anyway?"
Shit. "Um…I don't really…I think you should be talking to him about that, not me."
She nodded, contemplating this for a moment before going back to the door. "You see to make him happy, at least."
I couldn't help but smile; I made my boy happy.

It took almost four days before I managed to be alone with him; everyone else had gone out to play baseball, but we'd conveniently stayed home.
"I wish we didn't have to hide us." I sighed in relief, finally being able to hug him like I wanted to.
He reached up to kiss me, unable to fight back a smile. "It's more romantic this way," he teased, laughing when I rolled my eyes.
"You like being my secret lover then?"
"Yes. Except I wish it was out of choice, not necessity."
"Me too." I squeezed him a little tighter. "I hate this. That I'm not even allowed to look at you."
Carlisle was silent for a moment. "It's better than the alternative."
"And what's that?"
"Not having you." He pulled himself closer to me, completely closing any space between us.
"…Much better than the alternative." I leant down to press my lips against his neck, running my fingers through his hair. "I don't want you to go home."
"Let's not talk about that," he answered quickly. "Don't think about it until we have to."
"Fine," I chuckled. "What do you want to do then? We cant stand here all day; it'll be suspicious when they come back and we haven't really moved."
"Stay with you?"
"That's not an activity, Carlisle." It's cute though.
"It should be a full time occupation," he mumbled.
"Let's just watch a movie or something, okay?" I suggested, trying to stop him thinking our separation.
It worked; he laughed. "I thought you said you didn't want to be suspicious?"
"Shut up." I pushed him lightly, making him laugh harder. "It's not like we'll be watching something sappy or anything."
"And what if I want to watch Titanic?" he asked childishly, glancing up at me.
"Then I'm dumping your lame ass right now," I teased, kissing his forehead. "Anyway, it's not like you can sit still for three and a half hours.
That wasn't the thing he focused on. "Does that mean…does that mean I'm your…boyfriend?" he asked carefully, very quietly.
"What?" The question caught me off guard and I wasn't sure why the random change in topic.
"To dump me we'd have to be dating, so…"
"Well, seeming as I've been kissing you at any opportunity I've got for the past year, I would hope so," I teased, laughing when he smiled. "…You don't think so? I mean…you don't want us to be like that..?"
"No! Of course I want that! I just thought that maybe…maybe I was just…an experiment…"
"Carlisle!" I pushed him back against the couch, making him sit while I knelt in front of him, holding his face in my hands. "I love you, okay? You are most definitely not an experiment or a phase or whatever else you want to call it."
He shifted forward so our faces were touching, our lips almost meeting. "I love you too."
"I wouldn't be endangering your life if I wasn't serious about this," I promised, nudging him with my shoulder.
"…I don't think I could help myself even if you weren't."
"You aren't allowed to say things like that when you're going home tomorrow," I grumbled, tugging him forward suddenly so he slipped, at my mercy now.
"Can we not talk about that-"
"We have to! What am I supposed to do when you're gone, hmm?"
Carlisle wrapped his arms around my waist, slipping his fingers under the edge of my shirt as he kissed my neck. "I guess you're going to have to fuck Kate then, aren't you?" he asked.
"I'm going to have to if you keep that kind of language up," I groaned. "It's fucking hot."
The kiss turned into a bite, not helping my situation at all. "Fuck."
"C-Carlisle…stop it…And don't you leave a mark, either." That was the last thing I actually wanted to tell him. I tried to push him away but only succeeded in ending up with him lying underneath me, his fingers against my stomach and a teasing smile on his face. When he tried to wrap his arms around my neck I pinned his hands to the ground. "You're going to bite off more than you can chew."
"I wont bite," he promised, sinking his teeth into his lip. The fucker. He knew exactly what he was doing.
"Carlisle…" it was more of a plea than a warning. "You know we cant do that." The punishment for sex was far greater than anything else; bordering on death instead of imprisonment.
"Do what, Garrett?" he questioned innocently.
"You don't play fair…" I whined, trapping his leg between mine when he tried to shift. Taking the opportunity well I had it, I gave him his hands back, hugging him instead. In was a struggle to remain in control of myself as the kiss grew more heated, his fingers becoming tangled in my hair.

Somehow, by the time we heard the others coming closer, my shirt was across the room and Carlisle's clothing was a mess. I pulled it over my head a second before the door opened, and when I glanced up my boyfriend was nowhere to be seen.
"What've you been doing to look so guilty?" Kate teased, rushing over to press her lips against mine. Kissing her was nothing compared to kissing Carlisle, and I found none of her advancements cute like I did his, more just annoying.
"Nothing, Katie." It was a struggle to keep my tone even.
"Maybe we could find something to do them, huh?" She tugged my belt, sliding her hand into my back pocket.
"W-we have guests…" Rather, there's no way I could do that with you with Carlisle so close to me.
Esme sighed as Carlisle reappeared at the top of the staircase. "I think we'd better be going."
I felt the heat seep out of my entire body at her words, and when I glanced up at him the colour was draining from his face.
"But we're leaving tomorrow. We agreed on that, remember?" he challenged, unable to conceal the panicked edge to his voice.
"What's the difference between now and then? I have things I have to get done tomorrow, and I can't do them here," she persisted. "Anyway, we don't want to over stay our welcome."
He nodded slowly, seeing no way out.
As everyone else hugged and wished each other safe travels, I fought not to scream. My heart almost leapt out of my chest when Carlisle wrapped his arms around me.
"You're my best friend. It's weird if we don't hug, right?" he whispered in my ear.
I grinned to fight back tears, squeezing him as tightly as I could and quickly kissing his cheek as he pulled back. "I'll text you," I promised referring to the 'alternative' cell phones we kept hidden from the rest of our covens in order to communicate. Even now I knew his was in his pocket, in place of the one which everyone assumed he was carrying. He didn't dare put it down in case it was picked up by someone else, exposing everything. Mine, on the other hand, was turned off and hidden beneath a floor board in the attic. No one ever went up there and the excuse I used for climbing those stairs: Sometimes being around so many people became too much for me after leading a nomadic life for the most part. In reality, the only reason I ever went up was to talk to Carlisle.

I missed him already. He'd been gone for an hour and already it was agony. Even worse because he hadn't texted me back. Usually we only spoke when he was working so that he was away from the house, and he wouldn't be working for another three days. I knew every detail of his schedule perfectly, along with the difference in time zones between us.
"Are you alright, Garrett? You're very quiet," Eleazar asked, catching my arm as I passed him.
"Oh, um, yeah, I'm fine," I lied.
"You sure?"
"I'm good, Eleazar."
He frowned but let it slide, realising he was getting nothing from me. "Tell me if you need to talk…" he mumbled as he walked away.
"Thanks…" I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn't even know when the next time I could see him was, which made it even more painful; I had nothing to look forward to.

They were all noticing it; I knew they were. Continuously they asked whether I was okay, what was wrong, if I was happy. The answer was always that I was fine. Except it was a fucking lie. Although I could get to him in less than two days if I ran, he felt fucking miles away.
Salvation came when my phone rang and his number flashed across the screen. "I miss you," I answered, offering no other greeting.
"Me too…you, I mean. I miss…you…Never mind." He laughed quietly and I found myself smiling too. "Dork."
"I love you."
"I love you too, jackass."
"If you're just going to call me names the entire time, I'll hang up on you," he teased, still laughing.
"No! I'm sorry…What are you doing, anyway?"
"Working, you know that. They all think I'm out here talking to Esme…"
"I'm glad you're not," I grumbled. "I hate this; we're going to have to find an excuse for me to see you soon because its fucking killing me."
"I know…Maybe I could…Or…You…I don't know, Garrett! I don't want to do this anymore!"
"You mean you…don't want us to be together?" I asked carefully, holding my breath.
"No, I mean I don't want us to be apart. It isn't fair. I miss you…like a lot…"
"You're cute-" I hung up on him as I heard someone on the stairs, coming up. Fuck. I spun around as the door opened, coming face to face with Eleazar. Again.
He smiled cautiously. "I know you want to be alone, and I get that, I'm just…I'm worried about you, Garrett. This is happening more and more and you're so…so…so quiet now that it scares me…"
"I'm just…" There was no explanation I could give him and my throat constricted, my eyes burning.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." He hugged me suddenly, and although he felt so different the abruptness of the movement mimicked Carlisle, and I found myself cuddling into him. "Kate is worried about you too."
I couldn't force back a moan; my wife was the last person I wanted to have to explain this to.