Kensi thinks back to six weeks ago when he'd shown up on her doorstep, beer in one hand, take out in the other, they didn't think the night would evolve any different then every other night they spent together, they'd watch a stupid movie, end up falling asleep and awake the next morning accidentally on top of each other, she'd untangle herself and they'd move on with their day. It was not supposed to turn into casual no strings attached sex. He wasn't supposed to mention her dry spell, she wasn't supposed to respond about his, they weren't supposed to jump each other's bones right there on the couch, they were not supposed to wake up the next morning in a panicked frenzy because all they could recount from the night before was the smell of each other's skin, it just wasn't supposed to happen that way. He'd always imagined their first time as a correct first time, a time where he took her to dinner first and remembered all his pick up lines and somehow managed to get her back to his place. She'd imagined it a slightly different way, it was supposed to come after a fight, a loud, pointless fight, it was supposed to be angsty, he was supposed to apologize and she would forgive him and they'd end up in his bed, not on her sagging couch on a Thursday night when both were slightly drunk with impaired judgement skills.
"Morning Fern!" He chirped at her as he strolled into OPS three Fridays later.
Her silence was a response, she was a bit preoccupied, the sex hadn't changed things before this, they'd both forgotten about it, neither had told anyone, they could barely recount it anyway, and it'd been back to their silent thing. She shoved her way past him on her way to the bathroom, the smell of Sam's cologne suddenly making her sick, he followed quickly behind her, his gates wide as he tried to catch up with her. She made it to the bathroom in one piece before she threw up her stomach contents from the night before, she felt his hand on her back, and his other had a grip on her hair, pulling it away from her face.
"Kens?" He asked softly was she sat up, feeling better now that she had lost all the food from their dinner,
"I'm fine Deeks." She mumbled, and she splashed her face with cold water, a drawn out sigh slipping through her lips.
He's worried, she's shoving him away, she's ignoring him, their thing, she's acting like he hasn't seen her, all of her, sometimes when he sits down and thinks hard he can remember details from that night, he can recall the heat of her olive skin against his, her brown sugar smelling hair wild and dripping over his naked shoulders, he can remember the sweet sound of her voice begging for more, he can hear her soft wish for it not to stop, and god it would be so much easier if she could hear it too, but she seems to have erased her memories from that night. He doesn't say a word as the return to their desks, her face is sad, and her shoulders are slumped,
"Kens...you don't look fine." He tells her truthfully, and when she looks up he is taken aback by what he sees, her brown orbs are filled with tears, she's trying to hold them back, so he takes her by the hand, glad their teammates aren't here to see him, and leads her out into the fresh California air,
"Let them out Princess." He urges her, and she surprises him by breaking down, she's sobbing into his shoulder in a matter of seconds after his bid.
"What's wrong?" He asks quietly and she just shakes her head through the tears,
"Save it Marty." She says through her heaving sobs, and he's lost in his thoughts for a minute, thinking back to the last time she'd used his first name, a certain time on a seedy brown couch in her living room, when she'd been groaning in succession.
He releases her at her rudeness, and turns around and she tries to understand why she's pushing the one person who really cares away. Her heart tells her to go after him, to take his perfect face and push him against a wall to capture his elusive lips, she desperately tries to recall her memory, she's searching every crevice for just a dash of what had happened. How this had happened to them. The memory comes rushing back as she leans against the cold wall by herself, the memory of his lips pressed against hers and of his hands wandering over her toned body, the little things are coming back, she can remember the way she'd begged for more, and she's suddenly embarrassed. What if he had a clear recollection, what if she'd said something wrong? She shows up at his apartment that night, her hands clutching a bag of still warm take out, her other warily rings the doorbell, and he shows up In The doorway after a few grunts of movement, he looks like hell frankly, his hair is messed up, he has bags under his eyes like he hasn't slept in days, his frame is lax, his eyes slightly red from the presence of tears and she prays it isn't her doing these horrible things to him.
"I remember." She whispered.
"Yeah. Me too." He says tiredly.
"What now?"
"Things will go back to normal. Just like they always do with you Kensi." He says, and she can hear the bitterness in his voice.
"You can't say that." She counters, suddenly regretting her decision to come here.
"Yes I can. When you kissed me? We never talked about that. When I kissed you? Not a word. Now this? I'm done Kensi. I can't do this. I can't keep sweeping these things into the corners of my memory okay? I'm running out of room." He snaps and her lip wavers. His expression doesn't change.
"Deeks..." She falters.
"Don't Deeks me. Either tell me what this," he gestures between the two of them, " is or leave."
"We're partners." She starts and he interrupts her,
"Partners don't look at each other the way we do, partners don't hug the way we do or talk the way we do, they don't kiss the way we do and they certainly don't sleep together. So maybe, if we're only partners, you should leave my house, because partners don't stay the night at each other's house." He gives her a stare and she wants to cry, but instead she nods, gulps and turns around.
He watches her retreating back and looks down, he kicks the bag of Thai food she'd put down, and it sprays everywhere, and suddenly he sinks down to the floor, because everything he's been holding in, he can't keep anymore, anymore will kill him.
She made the wrong decision, she knows it as soon as she reaches the first red light, so she quickly starts to turn, too quickly to see the large truck come barreling into the side of her car.
He gets a call from LA Hospital an hour after she leaves and he knows it's bad news, but his heart drops when they say her name, followed by car crash, he doesn't stay on the phone long enough to hear the rest, instead he's in his car and breaking all the speed limits to get to her. He doesn't park, instead he leaves his car in the drive through, and he's sprinting into the white halls of the hospital, he quickly finds the front desk and he jumps the line of four people,
"Kensi Blye. " he says heavily and the nurse gestures to a hallway, and he takes off,
"Are you family sir?" The doctor outside her room stops him, and Deeks gives him a deadly look,
"I'm her partner."
"Martin Deeks?"
"Who else would I be?" He snaps and then puts his hands on his head.
"Sir I know your worried, I can assure you your girlfriends going to be just fine, we're running some tests right now however so you cannot see her."
Deeks doesn't even correct him when he calls her his girlfriend, instead he finds refugee in a hard plastic chair,
"What the hell happened?" He begs the officer who is finished filling out his report,
"It appeared that she was trying to make a legal U-turn and didn't see the truck in her mirrors, the trucker is fine so she's not in danger of any legal troubles." The officer informs him and Deeks nods, it's registering with him, she was turning around to go back to him. A nurse comes rushing over to the doctor and suddenly the doctor looks quite alarmed,
"Get a obstetrician doctor here soon." He hears him tell the nurse, and he knows what a obstetrician doctor is so he assumes it's not for Kensi,
"Martin Deeks?" The nurse in pink asks, and he nods vigorously, " Ms. Blye suffered some injuries, would you like the extensive report?"
"Yes."
"She has a fractured right hip bone along with a broken knee cap in that leg, she broke a few ribs, she's concussed and her left elbow was broken by the airbag, however the child seems to be fine."
"Child?"
"I'm sorry I assumed you were the father." She apologizes, and his eyes get huge,
"What child?"
"By the looks of it is about 6 weeks along, give or take, we noticed her estrogen levels were extremely high so we did some tests, everything however seems to be fine." Deeks is stunned to silence, that's why she was so upset today, she must've figured it out, their barely recollect-able sex had conceived a child, that explained the crying, the sadness in her eyes and the absence of beer on his doorstep.
When they let him into the room, he sees her battered form, her left arm is set in a plaster cast and her hip has a thick black brace extending the length of her leg covering a white plaster cast, there's bandages wrapped around her head, and her necks in a brace, her eyes are swollen shut but her right hand is resting peacefully on her stomach. He sits down next to her, and waits,
It takes almost three full days for her to awaken from her medically induced coma, and by the time she's awoken her head been unwrapped, her elbow is in a tight sleeve instead of a thick plaster cast and her neck is free of brace. However her wheelchair sits next to her bed,
"Deeks?" She says softly and his eyes snap open, and she can see his relief,
"I'm so glad your ok." He whispers and she smiles softly,
"Me too."
"Were you going to tell me?" He asks a few hours later, and her eyes flash with fear,
"Tell you what?"
"That your pregnant." He says and she reaches up with her good hand to rub her face,
"They confirmed it?" She whispers and he nods, and she looks at him waiting for an answer.
"Kens. We're going to have a kid." He mumbles and she shrugs her shoulders,
"I guess so."