Title: Piling On

Author: Romantique

Email:

Classification: Eric/Tami Angst/Romance

Rating: T (Non graphic sexual situation. Coach and Tami are married and do have a physical relationship.)

Summary: Not only has redistricting taken its toll on the town of Dillon, it's also taking a crushing toll on Eric and Tami's relationship.

Disclaimer: Friday Night Lights fan fiction occurs at the beginning of Season 4.

Legal: These characters do not belong to me. I'm just a fan and have not made a dime. Please email me to obtain permission to post.

piling on:

An illegal play where several players jump on a player with the ball after he's been tackled.

Tami Taylor sat up in bed in the darkened bedroom she shared with her husband, Eric. Unable to sleep, he lay next to her with his back turned and his eyes shut tight. Tami knew he hadn't yet fallen asleep by his breathing rate. After so many years of sleeping beside him, she knew him that well.

Drawing her long legs all the way up to her chest, she stretched the hem of her Panther t-shirt over her knees, pulled the covers up, and hugged herself by wrapping her long arms around her bare, bent legs. Then, she slowly let out a controlled yet distraught sigh.

Once again tonight, she and Eric had allowed themselves to go to bed together with only an obligatory peck on the lips; still angry with one another over unresolved conflict … something they swore they would never do in the sanctity of their marriage. While they had succeeded in following their solemn rule of always going to bed together no matter what ... once again, they found themselves lying beside one another, very much alone.

Never before had this happened to them … not for this long. For their continued failure to protect the sacredness of their marriage for days that turned into weeks, each secretly loathed themselves. And each had asked the Lord for forgiveness and for help.

The growing divide between them had literally been there for weeks now, and so tonight, Tami sat up in her bed, contorted into a little ball, frightened and lonely ... even though her husband, the one person in the world who could give her the love and the comfort she needed, was literally only inches away. She watched as his shadowed silhouette rose and fell with each breath. He was there, and yet, he wasn't. Nor had she been there for him. The irony of the situation brought tears to her eyes.

How could they have allowed things to get to this point?

With their crushing fall school schedules at two different schools, they rarely saw one another anymore, let alone had the time or the energy to reconnect and discuss this giant elephant in the room. Family dinners together had become a fond memory, and their kitchen had changed from being the heart of their home to a mere breezeway where they hurriedly passed one another on the way to the next class, game, practice, errand, or meeting. Tami couldn't remember the last time she and Eric shared an intimate kiss, much less made love.

In years past, it was Eric who had always been the one with the stressful, demanding job, and Tami had always been there to support him, picking up the slack. This year was even more demanding than the last, and the stress was overwhelming with Eric's longer commute and the pressures of starting up a football team from scratch with no resources. Now, Tami had an equally stressful job as the second year principal of a school that was also operating in a heightened state of crisis. However, this year, there was no one at home to pick up the slack, nor were there extra funds to hire someone to help at home or with Gracie. And one of them cutting back or giving up their job was simply not an option in the current economy.

They were trapped in this quagmire that was not entirely of their making. The only thing they could do was to work their way through to the other side and be grateful for what they had. So many in Dillon had no job. They were grateful for their jobs, and yet as a couple, they were doing nothing more than going through the motions.

Aching for his touch, she could only imagine that Eric was as miserable as she.

Tami couldn't help but blame herself for convincing Eric to take the job at TMU and then failing to hold up her end of the bargain in Dillon, as it turned out to be more than she could handle alone. Had she been a "good wife," she would have followed him to Austin, and he wouldn't be in this tough position at East Dillon. As she was the one championing the redistricting plan for the School District, she could never have known that Eric would be a casualty of many of the decisions she drove. On the other hand, Eric couldn't help but blame himself for not being able to be more supportive of his wife's dreams and her career on those days when it really counted. She was, after all, now the major bread winner for their family.

While they had the others' back during this school controversy whenever possible, there were those times when they just couldn't watch out for the other. Budgeting district funds was just one example of this. Having to pay extra for a baby sitter for Gracie on game nights was another … Tami having to pay Eric's car insurance premium and the State property taxes on their house for the first time in their married life, as his pay check and his pride continued to dwindle.

The hurt ran so deep, to acknowledge it would only inflict further pain on the one they most loved and yet, neglected … and so it was acknowledged by neither Eric nor Tami. It had been easier that way. Unfortunately, the more time that passed without such acknowledgement, the deeper the divide and the loneliness grew.

And so tonight, Tami found herself both filled with fear and in physical pain and longing from the cool distance between herself and the man she loved. She felt as if she had been slugged in her gut. Eric lay next to her so tense and understandably angry with the world, he could barely see clearly anymore. He had already seen too much of the world's ugly side in the short time he'd been at East Dillon High, some things he vowed never to bring home.

Both Eric and Tami had reached the brink, unable to take any more piling on.

"Honey ... ," Tami began to speak in a low, measured tone and shattering the cold silence in the room. "I know you're angry. I was, too, but I'm not anymore."

She vied for emotional control to say what she wanted to say.

"This is one of those rare times when we may never, ever see eye to eye. I may not be able to understand your position, but I can truly respect it, while I also hold fast to my own."

Looking over at him, she asked, "Eric? Hon? Are you awake?"

"Ummmm," he let out a sound with his eyes still closed tight, arms crossed protectively in front of him, almost as if to protect his heart, "yeah."

Feelings Tami had kept inside for all these weeks began to come pouring out.

"I've finally come to terms, and I think I can live with agreeing to disagree on some of these mushrooming issues stemming from the redistricting. Hon, it's just that you and I were together at the beginning when all this started, and it will be you and I at the end."

After a beat, she continued, "Five years from now, everything that seems so important now will no longer be as important. We've just gotta get through all this and come out the other side … together. And the 'going through it' part is going to be real long and hard."

She paused an extra beat because her next statement was at the heart of the matter.

"And it's been real lonely, too."

There was still no movement from Eric, but he did let out a deep sigh, as if he was letting go of something heavy he had been quietly carrying inside him for a long, long time.

She turned towards his still form. "Babe, you know my heart was in the right place with this redistricting issue. I couldn't know where it would take us. I never intended to hurt anyone, least of all us … least of all you."

Her voice quivered with emotion, and she reached across their great divide and placed her hand on his still side.

The warm weight of her touch felt like heaven to the coach.

"I know that," Eric softly acquiesced, and without hesitation, he placed his much larger hand over hers. He wrapped his fingers over the lifeline she had just thrown to him and gave her hand a warm squeeze, which she immediately returned. With his back still to her, his eyes were wide open now, and he had listened intently to her every word, words he wanted to say but couldn't find. A lump formed in his throat, and his eyes stung as he struggled to hold back tears. Without her, he languished.

All the while, their fingers remained entwined. The sensitive nerve endings in their fingertips resonated … awakening deep, neglected longing and hope.

Eric never blamed his wife for what happened to him or to the town. Intellectually, he knew the issue of redistricting was much bigger than Dillon, Texas. And he was also well aware of the roles of opportunists such as Joe McCoy who used the current economic climate to further his own self-serving goal: making his son the number one quarterback in the Great State of Texas, no matter the cost.

He also knew Tami believed she was doing the right thing and admired her fortitude. Yet despite the promise she made to him to always, always, always be right behind him no matter what, the redistricting of their two high schools seemed to pit them against one another on almost a daily basis. It affected their town, their friends, and students. It affected their jobs, their finances and security, and very much their oldest daughter. But worst of all, it had intruded into their family life, their marriage, and even into the sanctuary of their bedroom. And while Tami was at the forefront in the controversy, it was certainly not her fault.

"I don't need for you to agree with me all the time," Tami broke the silence. "What I do need is for you … to be here for me … as my husband. And just as much, I need to be here for you … as your wife. I haven't been, and I'm so sorry for that."

Tami continued to try to cut through all the extraneous mire and get to the root of the painful, truth: When pitted against one another, they had to be able to agree to disagree and come back together as husband and wife, no matter what.

That simple truth pierced through Eric's stubborn pride and into his heart. Pride was always a tough one for Eric. His wife would never ask him to give up his pride. She innately understood that his pride was in fact, his protective armor. Rather, she only wanted for him to offer her a tiny crack in his solid resolve to let her in.

She had identified their problem, but now, they had to fix it.

"There's so little of us left after we take care of everything and the kids. There's nothing left for us. We gotta change that, Hon. We gotta change that, right now." Their fingers still entwined, Tami gave his hand a squeeze as she pleaded, "Eric, we gotta change that, tonight."

Her unwavering determination to bridge their divide miraculously dissipated Eric's anger. Squeezing her hand, he finally rolled over and faced her.

After a beat, he looked up into her eyes and simply whispered, "I miss you … Mrs. Taylor."

The corners of his mouth turned up into a tight lipped smile. His tear-rimmed eyes glistened in the dark, telling her everything he was thinking yet could not say. For unbeknownst to Tami, he had been afraid of their great divide, too.

Tami spontaneously responded to him with a smile, as tears welled in her blue eyes. She reached down and brushed Eric's dark hair away from his pained face.

Shaking his head and struggling to regain his composure, Eric admitted, "I can't go through this alone." And he swallowed down the lump in his throat before adding, "Babe, I need you."

"I know," Tami murmured, with her tears now free flowing, a warm teardrop splashing onto her husband's cheek. She stroked it away from the side of his clenched jaw with her fingertips, gently erasing lines of worry from his face, as he had been in great pain, too. "I need you … so much. I can't live this life without you. Don't want to."

Her words caused Eric to immediately sit up. He leaned against the headboard, as he searched her eyes. Their gleaming eyes locked into the others for the first time in an what seemed like an eternity.

Unable to carry their burden alone for one second longer, Tami began to sob.

"Shhhhh. I'm here," he whispered with a strong commitment, and then he gently took his wife's beautiful face into his hands. "I'm so sorry for not being here for you, Tami. Please forgive me."

With his thumbs, he wiped away her tears and then, he brought his mouth down to hers, tasting the salt of her tears. The fragrance of lavender in her hair intoxicated him. They savored this kiss, as her sobbing very slowly subsided.

Gratitude for the warmth of touch and the willingness to be there for the other took on a surreal direction, as their bodies gratefully and lovingly responded with movements as old as time. They fell into one another, and Eric loved his wife long and hard. After a slow, steady building of pent-up passion, when the time was right, an intense, mutual release rattled the couple to their core. Breathless, they held on tight, almost afraid to let go. In all their years together, this release was a spiritually divine healing neither had ever experienced before … restoring their union as man and wife. They both knew with every shred of their beings that they had just been blessed and renewed.

The afterglow was just as profound. As their breathing gradually returned to normal, they remained coupled, entwined, pensive, and spent. Eventually, Eric gently planted quiet kisses along Tami's temple and broke the silence with a whisper.

"My God, I love you." He buried his face in the safety of her long, fragrant hair.

Tami echoed his love, holding on to the comfort of her mate for dear life. After a time, she nuzzled and kissed his bare chest, continuing to hold him tight. "I love you, Hon."

At the same moment, the thought briefly crossed each of their minds that they had not used precautions. And each decided that tonight, it didn't matter, as they drifted off to sleep … together … in the reclaimed sanctuary of their bedroom. The sad, horrible fear and pain of being alone while together was gone.

The next morning, they woke, still in the others' arms. They vowed to begin every day that way ... together.

fin