Lyrics from Waking Dream by Natalie Walker. I own nothing at all!
Pinch me,
Is this real,
This feeling of release?
I'm floating in your Heaven,
In the corners of my dreams.
Her insides mourned, yearned for the long gone warmth they had grown so familiar to. Her heart patiently tapped at her veins, rhythmically reminding her that without him, they were nothing but an empty shell.
She shut her eyes tighter with every heartbeat, her eyelids sourly sore from the hours of denied sleep, from the hours of careless crying underneath the silk sheets.
She could feel the mascara stinging her cheeks, stubbornly clinging onto her skin and tears like a plastic layer of pain.
Her insides churned again, stirring memories to the surface of her eyes.
The confession. The confusion. The shouts. The shoves. The insults. His tears. His desperate pleas getting weaker and weaker. The darkness. The silence. The loneliness.
Tasting life,
Numb again,
I Close my eyes,
It begins.
It seemed years had passed, yet it had only been a few hours since she found out, since he left, since their lives changed forever.
What had taken so long to build, to polish and cement had taken only seconds to crumble.
Her cell phone had long since stopped ringing, its cold and automatic tones leaving a haunting echo in the icy December air.
What was next? Where was she to go? The place wasn't hers to keep, yet he had firmly insisted she stay there for the night. But then what? In her state life would be twice as difficult on her own.
She inhaled sharply and closed her eyes tighter, regretting taking notice of the intoxicating smell he left behind and forcing herself to will away the memories that dragged along the incessant pain, the suffocating sense of hatred, hatred towards herself.
She told herself she needed to sleep, she needed to be forget how to live, how to make mistakes, how to speak the wrong words, how to breathe.
Slowly she felt her body give into the grief as if it were sinking into an abyss of forget, her breaths dissipating into the night air.
I cannot stumble here,
I am safe inside my head,
When I wake up I'll forget,
I'll come back to my mess,
Safe inside my mind, my head...
Just as her body had shed the putrefied stench of life and begun floating deeper into the abyss, an electryfing pain shot through her abdomen, crunching her senses into blind instinct.
Her legs moved with an agility that she never knew she had, running faster and faster towards the bathroom and depositing her in the very same place she had been only hours ago. Her body bent and twisted in foreign agony, forcing out the empty contents of her stomach into the porcelain toilet in front of her.
She coughed and gagged so loudly it drowned out the familiar squeak of the front door opening, letting in the man that had been on the other side of it the entire time, reluctant to leave her behind. Her body's desperation to end the pain made her oblivious to the quickening footsteps stomping up the wooden stairs, and her own pleas for help made her deaf to the person entering the room.
"Mai!" He shouted in that all to familiar accent, the one she had hoped to scrape off her skin until she bled indifference.
"Go away." She managed to snarl between humid bouts of coughing and uncontrolled gags.
Her hand managed to extend itself far enough to slam shut the bathroom door a second before Joey Wheeler reached it.
"Mai, lemme in! We can work through this, you aren't alone!" He shouted, louder than necessary, fumbling with the broken doorknob.
Once she noticed his attempts to open the door she lurched at it, depositing her full weight into the force she applied to hold back the door.
It pulled back and forth desperately, anxiously. Ramming harder and harder into Mai each time.
She groaned in a contempt agony at the feel of fresh physical pain, not even bothering to wonder why she was enjoying it, not even when she saw the blood start to pool around her ankles, staining her white robe.
"Mai, open the goddamn door!" Joey shouted, the rage creeping distinctly into his voice.
"Just keep trying Joey...keep trying." She mumbled, slurring the last words like she was drunk, drunk on the pain that had begun to take over her lower abdomen.
It took him only a second to realize what her words meant after he saw the growing amount of blood seeping out from under the door.
"Fuck, Mai! FUCK!" He screeched, feeding himself the power he knew he needed to get Mai out of there before it was too late.
He filled his chest to the brim, ignoring the overpowering scent of blood. He clenched his fists around the doorknob until they were white with fear and pulled with all his might in his direction, away from Mai.
The apartment they had managed to afford together was old and in desperate need of repair, among them, the weak hinges of the doors. Yet Joey was never so thankful for their weakness as he was that night, when the door came clean off, dropping Mai to the floor and into the puddle of her own blood.
He ran to her, dropping his shivering body next to hers and taking her into his arms, the blood penetrating his calloused skin.
"What the hell did ya' do Mai?" He whimpered, praying that despite her closed eyes she was still conscious.
"You...you did this. You killed it." She whispered with a sinister smile on her face, one that drove Joey to insanity.
"You killed our baby, my love..." She breathed before abandoning her body in Joey's trembling arms...
I will not leave,
Stay asleep,
Step further i,n
My ecstasy.
COMPLETELY random! I just heard this song and I couldn't help thinking about Mai so I decided to try and piece something together from the lyrics, although what I initially had in mind has absolutely NOTHING to do with the final result! I know that it's a bit drastic and tragic but I just felt trying something a little more extreme, and personally I think it's pretty good for a one-shot that I came up with in a few minutes. (: It wouldn't bother me if you told me what you think in a review!
Peace&Love.