So, James bond is the big macho man of the moment – but what happens when he's not working? I know loads of people in the forces – and a lot of them in their early 30's still live with their parents. We all know that James Bond's Parents are dead (Golden eye), But theirs always his aunt...
James Bond, 007, on his majesties secret service, a licence to kill and living another day, walked down his aunt's quiet suburban street.
Middlesex had a heady midsummer glow about it, and he could tell that thunder was on its way to signal the end of the summer. All the houses on this street were the same, '30's semi's'. They had Claris Cliff style, glass front doors, and the same motif on the gates. Straight gravel paths up to the front door and a patch of parched grass.
James looked at his watch with the built in bomb, 4 o'clock. Countdowns on the telly, he thought to himself, oh she wont mind – I could have a bath before I tell her about it. He reached number 28, and walked up the garden path. Taking a key from inside his uniform pocket, he opened the front door.
'James? Is that you?' his short aunt Daisy came into the hall. Her eyes large behind milk-bottle-bottom glasses, she wore a blue striped dress that came below her knees and a pale pink 'pinny'. She had a stooped back and fat ankles. 'It is good to see you' she said in her weak, gravely voice.
'Are you well?'
'Very well! Thankyou aunty' he said brightly, he hugged her tightly 'How are you?'
'Cant complain James. Cataract appointment came through last week (taken bloody ages), and my hips still dodgy. I've been all over the place honestly – consolations with doctors, specialists and nurses. But I don't like to talk about it.' She began her slow walk into the kitchen. 'Tea?' she shouted over her shoulder.
'Please Aunty. Shall I do it?' he said trying to get past her.
'No. You relax, I want to hear all about your trip.' He heard her filling the kettle. 'Isn't countdown on aunty? I don't mind you watching it.' He listened hard for her reply; she was clattering with tea things now.
'No, the crickets taken over channel four again.' She shouted back at him.
He flung himself onto the sofa in the sitting room and stared at the black screen of the television. He slowly took of his navy blue jacket and put it on top of his kit bag. He removed his heavy black boots, and strained his ears to hear her dawdling return to the living room with the tray of tea.
She put the tray on the coffee table and sat in an armchair facing him.
'Now when did I last see you?' she asked him
'October.' He said dutifully.
'That long?' she sat back in the chair.
'Can you tell me where you went this time?'
'No sorry aunty.' She said shaking his head.
'Not even the continent?' she opened her eyes wider.
'Daisy.' He said warningly.
'Sorry. Meet anybody interesting?'
'Not particularly.' He said leaning forward to poor the tea.
'Don't pour it yet, it hasn't had enough time to brew!' she spat at him. He replaced the teapot to the tray. 'No women?' she asked gently.
'No. No women.' He said looking out of the window.
'Liar.' She said back to him
'Oh alright I met a very nice woman.'
'Really? Will you marry her then? Good looking man like you, I cant believe you haven't married again.' Too think I nearly got rid of him all those years ago, she said to herself.
'No, I wont marry her. I like it to much here aunty.' He said 'may I pour the tea now?' he asked
'Yes. I think I'll just check the cricket score, I've rather got into it.' She said taking the remote and turning to channel 4. Richard whitely appeared on screen tell the viewers the score so far on countdown. 'Oh bugger it' she said 'why do they always change the times of programmes?' her voice grew louder.
Sensing she was about to blow, James left for the cover of the toilet.
so whats your thinking peps?