A/N First I would like to appologise to everyone who had read my other story. After a couple of hard months between University and work I barely had time to sleep let alone write. When i did get round to looking at the possibility of updating i found i didn't like what i had done, so i have decided to delete it from fan fiction and maybe eventually go back to it another time. However i had this bouncing round my head for a while and decided to try writing a different story that i feel i have a bit more passion for. Again have a read and give me a review. Either tell me you like it or it's a pile a rubbish and i should never try and write again, either way let me know what you think!

So without further ado here is my first chapter...enjoy your read!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my car!

Breakeven

"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing, just praying to a god that I don't believe in, Cause i've got time while she's got freedom, Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even."- The Script, Breakeven.

Adrenaline rush according to Wikipedia refers to an activity of the adrenal gland in a fight-or-flight response; this was what i was experiencing right now. To fight or to flight, which one do you choose? I suppose it depends on the situation, how do you know which is the best course of action to take? Do you fight for your life? Or do you flee? I believe in this circumstance i am experiencing both; fighting for my life by fleeing.

I was 20 hours into my journey, only 4 more till i reached my destination; Seattle. My breathing was still increasing, my skin was cold and clammy and i had a severe case of the jitters and despite the lack of sleep i still could see more clearly then on a normal day. All these factors lead me to believe i was still experiencing that adrenaline rush. I had expected that being so far from my home in Phoenix by now the effects would wear off but when it's not only your life that is in danger but the life of another the experience is increased.

I checked the rear view mirror to see if i was being followed, i couldn't chance being pulled over by the police now, it would get back to him and i knew he would come after me. Hell he still could but i was praying to a god that he wouldn't bother, that i wasn't worth it. I sighed heavily when i found that the road behind me was clear, there was not a soul out tonight and i didn't expect so at one in the morning. I glanced again into the rear view mirror, this time settling my gaze upon the back seat of my car and was happy to see he was still asleep, curled up in his car seat with his favourite blanket was my three year old son Corey.

I don't recommend taking a long car journey with a three year old, they tend to become easily agitated and restless which proves to be exhausting for the remaining passengers but i had no other option, again back to the fight or flight response. If it wasn't for my little man i would have given up quickly, letting my body and mind succumb to the pain i currently wasn't feeling. But it also ment i had to stop every so often to let him go to the bathroom and to eat and drink, so with me being the only caretaker i had to stop. I didn't want to eat so i didn't but i knew i had to drink which ment in turn i had to stop and use the bathroom as well. At first i had stopped at designated stations along the route but i quickly became paranoid that someone would recognise us and people love to stare, men were checking me out and women were disgusted with me obviously thinking i had allowed something so terrible to happen.

You see, my little man had gained a large and quite ugly bruise on the left side of his face, making his face painful to not only touch but to look at as well. His eye was swollen shut and his lips puffy. I knew that they were all thinking that i was a terrible mother to allow my child to end up like that but i never expected him to become involved. He matched my own injury's; i had a cut along my eyebrow that was bleeding quite heavily earlier on which subsequently cause my top to be coated in dried blood now, a black eye, a busted lip, bruised well more likely broken ribs and a possible broken wrist to match.

So this was where the adrenaline was doing its job, i was able to keep going without so much as a hint of pain to make sure my little man was safe from harm, as soon as i know he is safe i will probably be pulled under from the force of it all hitting me, i can almost guarantee that it will be a lot worse than from when i actually sustained each ailment.

I looked over at the clock on the dashboard and noticed i was only another two hours from Seattle. It was the only place i knew i could protect my son, my brother lived there with his fiancé who i hadn't yet met, i knew he was going to be mad at me for just turning up, hell i would be too if he just turned up on my doorstep without so much as a phone call in the last two years. That was one of the things i was never allowed to do, so many times i had been caught dialling my brothers number into the phone or setting up an email just so he knew that i was still alive. But i was always caught somehow, then was shown how badly i had disrespected him in his own home. If only i had been able to contact my brother, telling him that i was still alive but i was also barely breathing, then the recent event might never have happened. After a year the phone calls and the emails i received from my brother, which were also replied to by him stopped arriving, i knew that he was giving up and i felt terrible that i wasn't able to show my support when he landed his big contract with the Seahawks. That's right my brother was a linebacker for the Seattle Seahawks and i have never been prouder, the only chance i had to see him was when he played against the Arizona Cardinals.

Another hour had flown by along with the highway and i was trying to remember all the details i had stored to memory about my brother over the last two years, it was only due to an interview with him post game that i knew he had gotten engaged, i still remember that with great clarity; the look on his face when he told the press could only be described as sheer delight to anyone who didn't know him on a personal level, but when i looked into his eyes through the television screen i could see they were not shining as bright as they could be and i was to blame. I know what you're thinking and to be honest i have thought the same; why didn't i try harder to get in touch, but when you have every bone in your hand threatened to be crushed the thought just dies away along with all the others.

I was pulled from my head by the bright lights of a car behind me, i sucked in a small amount of air and held my breath as it gained closer to my car. Could it be him? Has he already managed to get to me? The car was right behind me now but the lights were so bright that i couldn't make out the colour or the make of it, suddenly the owner of the car revved its engine and pulled out along side my and accelerated past leaving me in a cloud of dust that was left behind in its wake. I let out the air i had been holding but my body was back in its tense position. The noise from the car had stirred my little man and i could hear him groan as he tried to stretch out his small body, i lifted my eyes from the road to look into the rear view mirror to see him yawn which caused him to whimper and in turn solidified the crack in my heart. He lifted his eyes to meet mine and tried to turn his plump little lips into a smile but was more like a grimace.

"Are we there yet mamma?"

"Not long now baby" i replied. He turned to look out the window, watching the bright lights of Seattle rush by with every mile that i continued on.

Twenty minutes later i turned onto the street that held my brothers house, i looked on in awe at the size of each of the homes that passed me on both sides, the early morning darkness making it difficult to read the numbers of each house, but there on the left was the one i was looking for. I had made it, i was safe, Corey was safe, i could feel my blood rushing through my veins as it released another surge of andrenaline to go along with the butterfly's in my stomach. I was so fucking nervous, but i was here and that was all that mattered, i signalled to turn onto the drive and settled to a stop behind a huge Jeep. I turned off the engine and the lights and just sat there taking in my surroundings, the house was huge, white stone walls with beautiful blue window panes, a surge of pride filled my chest when i saw what my brother had achieved. I was pulled from my daze by my little man;

"Momma?"

I turned to look at him and even in the dark noticed that the swelling of his face has gotten slightly worse, it must have hurt so much but he was being so brave. I noticed his eyes were filled with fear and i didn't blame him at all, we were in a foreign place, somewhere he had never been and after the events of the previous 30 hours i knew he must be scared. I climbed out of the car cautiously knowing my whole body was going to ache and had to immediately grab onto the side of the car to steady myself, i could feel the protest of my wrist and ribs as i did so and knew it wasn't long before the pain would wash over me. 'Only a few more minutes' i kept chanting to myself, once my legs had stopped shaking i rounded the car to get to my son, pulling the door open i leaned in to undo his restraints and helped him from the car and grasped his hand in mine. Shutting the car door i turned to face him looking down into his expectant eyes;

"We are here baby. Everything is going to be ok, you're safe now".

He nodded slightly in return as i faced the large house in front of us. With carefully measured steps i made my way to the front door which had a large knocker of the front and a button for a bell on the side. I stared at the bell for a moment trying to gain the confidence in me to raise my hand and press that little button. I could feel it taunting me and i knew that i would never gain the confidence but i had to do it i realised as i glanced at Corey, if not for me then definitely for him. I lifted my hand and pressed the little button and heard the ring of the bell echoing through the quiet house, i started to feel my body shake as a light in the hallway was switched on, the sound of footsteps bouncing of the stairs as someone made their descent. The latch of the door was slide back and the sound of the lock being turned seemed to be louder than normal, the door was pulled open by a very unimpressed woman, who in her dishevelled state still seemed to look like a supermodel. The scowl on her face evident for a person who had been rudely woken at 5am, her eyes widened as she took in my injured state before darting towards my son. I sucked in a breath and proceeded to speak;

"Does Emmett Swan live here?"