[Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Avatar.]
TOPH brushes her fingers over the Earth Rumble Champion's Belt.
She memorizes the patterns of the grooves, the ridges of the Earth Kingdom symbol, and then tries to visualize an image of the belt in her mind - GoldGreenBrown, Tae whispers in her ear, as she passes it to her after her first victory - the Earth Kingdom colors. She tries to imagine the colors in her head, but what she does know about colors doesn't help her, and her tutor is confused when she politely asks: Lao shi, what does Gold look like? What about Green? And Brown?
He replies, because you have asked, milady, I think it is time that we start a lesson on precious stones and metals. You are a Bei Fong after all, and you must learn some of your father's trade, at least. He continues with an embellished description of the vastness of her father's business empire, and then says: Gold is the color of money, (Toph understands this to actually mean power), green the color of jade (Wealth, he emphasizes), and brown the color of citrine (Rationality). The next lesson, he brings a bag of precious stones for her to explore, but as she smoothes her hands over the finery, she decides that she cannot transfer the properties of these cold, polished stones to the belt which has been quietly tucked away into an unobtrusive hidden panel, at the back of the wooden drawer in her bedchambers, decorated with carvings of flying pigs.
The belt is neither wealth nor clarity nor power. Unlike the richness of the silk curtains, the carved sets of ivory chopsticks, the family crests with the gold inlays, she does not parade it in front of their honored guests, much less her parents (although some part of her wishes - but no, they do not understand.) The belt reminds her of freedom, of the feeling of grit in between her toes, a physical object which has been presented to her as a testament to her ability - it means strong, Toph, you are strong - not what everyone makes you to be. When her parents and Master Yu and the guards start to get a little too annoying, she brings up memories of Earthbending and ass-kicking and victories, and she manages to smile like the docile child they think she is.
AT twelve, she chooses that feeling of freedom over her filial obligations, and joins the Avatar. She hardly feels guilty for her choice, but her heart still holds the hope that the towering Bei Fong gates will still be open to her when she decides to return, and maybe - just maybe, her parents will be proud. If not, she knows, she has Katara and Aang and Sokka and Suki and plenty of other people that will take her in. It doesn't quite fill the hole, but it helps. Besides, she hasn't got much leeway to whine about her life when Katara and Sokka never see their father as much as they would like, and Aang lost his sort-of family in the genocide of the air nomads.
WHEN she finds herself trapped in Xin Fu and Master Yu's prison of metal, she allows herself a few tears, and she is not sure whether they are tears of happiness, because Father still wants her back, or tears of frustration because he still doesn't understand. Then she wipes them away, and remembers: GoldGreenBrown and strong, Toph, you are strong - and concentrates.
It is frustrating. Her first few attempts at escaping are painful, and she swears, most unladylike, at her kidnappers, with all the curses she has picked up from Sokka on her travels. Eventually, though, the metal starts to sing, the same way the earth sings to her when she plants two feet onto the ground and stomps down, and she can see. When she finally manages to dent the metal box with a well-aimed fist, she remembers her Earth Rumble victories and the weight of the champions belt in her hands - and the box becomes another challenger that she knows she can defeat. Behold, she smirks, in the thrill the fight against just another unseen opponent - the power of my awesomeness. I am the greatest Earthbender in the world. And she loudly reminds her kidnappers of this, bending the hole that she has made in the metal shut, trapping them inside.
You will never be able to keep me in a box.
She adds BlackWhiteGrey to her repertoire of colors when Katara tells her that those are the usual colors of steel and iron and metal over a casual dinner conversation. Then she adds SkyBlueSilver when Katara starts to share her Water Tribe furs with her on cold nights, after Katara heals a cut on her right foot while she huffs and curses. Aang starts to tell her about the colors of things around her without her prodding. Appa is white, he chatters, and so is Momo. The leaves are green and the earth is brown, and air is colorless. Sometimes, Sokka tries to explain about meat and sarcasm and those colors to her over the campfire, and her twelve-year old heart skips a little to the sound of his voice. She is young, but not stupid, and she does not tell him how this patient attention makes her feel, about how she puts his voice to a handsome pony-tailed man wearing SkyBlueSilver in her head.
She is only a little jealous (maybe more) when she meets Suki for the first time: Sokka was never hers to begin with, like how she has never had her sense of sight. Besides, from Sokka's vivid and highly emotional descriptions of her, she gathers that Suki is not only beautiful, but strong, and when she demonstrates the Kiyoshi fan dance for her on request, she realizes a few things. Firstly, Meat-And-Sarcasm Guy and Fan Girl are almost as disgustingly sweet together as Twinkletoes and Sugarqueen are, and secondly, she needs to learn how to properly sense non-earth related projectile weapons like throwing knives and Kiyoshi fans. She only tells Suki the latter, because she isn't quite ready to accept the former, and Suki laughs and promises to train with Toph if she ever has the opportunity to.
THEN, one eventful morning Zuko joins the gang for real (only after silly Sugarqueen starts to accept him after they fly off for revenge field trip shenanigans), and she adds RedOrangeYellow after he becomes her most humble servant for a week as payback for accidentally burning her feet. They are mostly healed by now, but he says mumble mumble honor grumble and she is irritated. Fine, she spits, since you really want to, grovel for a week under the Melon Lord! And so she demands him to describe things to her under pretense of servitude. He tells her, awkwardly, about fire, and dragons, and ash, and blood and smoke and Iroh's tea and the color of Fire Nation soil - with minimal complaints.
After the week is over, she realizes that she knows more about Zuko - so, you can redirect lightning? Sweeeet. What color is it? Is Azula's fire better than yours cause it's blue? than anyone else in their group does, and he knows more about her family life - So I owe you one life changing field trip, huh - than Katara, even. She has barely enough time to contemplate this slight shift in their relationship dynamics before they have to go for the final battle, and it is more or less forgotten when she slides, screaming, down the sides of the airship with Sokka in tow, forgotten with the sound of the crackle-snap of Azula's lightning which is aimed towards Katara. But then - they win, in the end, and perhaps there is time for remembering.
. . . . . .
THE war has been over for a couple of weeks now, Ozai is defeated, and Toph is lost. What will she do, she wonders? She has sent a missive to her parents, telling them not to worry, that she will drop by for a visit when she wants to. She doesn't know if the last part is a lie or the truth, but Iroh, more of a father than her father ever was, lets her mull over it in his new teashop over pots of free Oolong tea (The smell and taste remind her of GreenGoldBrown) and advice. She thinks that she will at least attend Sparky's coronation, and then see what happens from there. In the meantime, Katara, Aang, Sokka, and Suki are off gallivanting in nearby villages in their respective couplings, trying to help rebuild the newly reclaimed Earth Kingdom. Go to Gaoling, Toph, they tell her, and visit your parents. We'll try to find King Kuei in the meantime to persuade him to reclaim the throne.
She knows by now that there are some things about her parents that her friends will never be able to truly understand (sometimes you love and you hate all at the same time) and decides almost immediately after they have left that she is not ready to return home and see her parents. Two years of traveling, freedom, friends and being just Toph (not lady not little not blind) have not nearly been enough, not when there is so much to learn; so much to see.
AND SO she goes to the rich district of Ba Sing Se. Iroh welcomes her to his new establishment (GreenGoldBlack) with open arms, and she spends a happy two months there. Now, however, she is becoming bored and restless, and she asks Iroh for something, anything to do. Peace is driving me crazy, she mumbles. Not that I don't like it or anything, but no-one wants to fight with me anymore. Iroh recognizes it for what it really is: (the beginnings of loneliness) and the very next morning there is a summons for her from the Fire Lord's court. Iroh coaxes her into slightly more formal clothes, reminds her to wash her hair, sends his regards to Zuko, and tells her, with a smile that she can see in her heart, that she is always welcome to stay at his tea shop. Before she leaves, he slides a lotus pai sho tile into her pocket.
She sets off for the Fire Nation.
IT is a twelve day trip without the help of Appa, and she travels almost non-stop, her muscles running on adrenaline and purpose. On the way she encounters familiar sounds, familiar places, familiar people, and she tries to picture it in her head: the water tribes, the earth kingdom, the fire nation, all experiencing the stumbling blocks of the end of war, the quiet, tentative breath of peace, the loss, the devastation, the hope. She sees it all in her head, and she thinks, we must never forget what we've suffered to get here - my god I'm sounding like the old man - wow, we're heroes, they're building statues of us - wonder how Zuko's dealing with all this -
She comes to a halt in front of the guarded palace doors on the afternoon of the thirteenth day, more than a little dusty and tired. The raised walls and imperial carvings remind her of another, albeit smaller - but no less imposing - estate by the name of Bei Fong, before she breathes in and remembers her drills and lessons on etiquette (she has never forgotten.)
I am Toph Bei Fong, Earthbender, companion of the Avatar, and daughter of Lao and Poppy Bei Fong of the Earth Kingdom, she states imperiously, and bows in the Fire Nation style, palm against fist, instead of curtseying - there are limits to her pleasantry - the crown Prince Zuko has requested an audience with me. She pulls out a sealed letter from Iroh which authenticates her mission, and they eventually let her in. Being part of the Avatar gang that saved the world has had its perks. She is directed to a large room which, she notices, is aptly fitted with clay and terra-cotta and marble and metal furniture, and she is told that by decree of the crown prince, she can rest until tomorrow afternoon, and yes, she can explore the adjourning garden as long as not too much damage is done, and that someone will be arriving tomorrow morning to help her bathe and dress under no uncertain circumstances.
She saves her smile for when the escort leaves. It is the same, sticky, political Bei Fong dance that she is doing, and yet it is different. The furniture tells her, I respect the need for you to see, the garden tells her I respect the need for you to earthbend, the bath, a challenge - the only way to get you clean is to insist on it. She admits quietly to herself that this sort of bribery is working, and makes a mess of the garden anyway.
THE next morning, she is awakened way too early by a knock on the door. She successfully ignores it twice, and by the third time, she is too stubbornly asleep to notice that Zuko himself has brushed past the attendants to loom over her bed. When he gives her an experimental shove, she grumpily earthbends a pot right into his face, barely missing him - stupid firebenders with their stupid reflexes waking up at the stupid crack of dawn. Toph! He snaps, then takes a few breaths. She can feel the heat radiating off him, and it is familiar. She grumbles and takes a few sleepy swipes at him, and that is familiar too. She cannot see it, but he has the smallest of smiles on his face as he says, if you're not ready in two hours, so help me, I'm sending you back to uncle, and you can tell him that I tried. At that, she sits up in momentary alarm and opens her eyes to glare, half awake, at his general direction. Satisfied with that response, he turns to leave, but not before he says: It is good to see you, Toph. She rolls out of bed, yawns, works out the kinks in her back, loudly cracks her knuckles, and hears him say, Make sure she looks presentable enough for a general council meeting - and just be stubborn if she complains, for some absurd reason, she appreciates stubbornness - to the maids. She leans against the doorframe, smirking. Its good to see you too, Princess Sparky. One of the attendants chokes a bit. She grins and reshapes the pot that she tried to smack him with, and the two attendants hover nervously behind her, unsure of what exactly to do with so volatile a lady, wary of more flying earthenware.
Be nice, Toph, Zuko says dryly as he leaves. I'll see you in two hours. They'll lead you to the meeting hall. She wriggles her fingers in his direction, then turns to face her attendants. Please tell me you have something with pants, at least. They nod, realize their mistake, and sputter out Of course, Lady Bei Fong! and Toph spits with deadly accuracy into the fixed pot. Just call me Toph.
Two hours later, she has made tentative friends with Kazin and Huang Zi, who insist on calling her 'Lady Toph' no matter how much she snaps and pleads with them to stop. They dress her up in a simple but elegant Fire Nation-esque tunic, pinning her bangs back with a headband like the one she bought to match her stolen fire nation wear. Each item of clothing is fully described to her (this panel is red and its drapes over the shoulder to meet the gold weave in the back like so, the thread running through the seams is RedWhiteGold), having the same significance as body armor, and for the first time since that outing with Katara, Toph feels like she looks good, and perhaps - pretty. It helps that material of the tunic is sleek and smooth and cool against her skin, and she feels a little as if the clothes have returned her awareness of beauty - every movement produces a soft swish, swish sound that makes even the slightest of twitches feel elegant and refined. Once in a while, she thinks, dressing up is fun.
She coils and pins up her hair in a bun at the back of her head and braids the leftover hair to frame her face, to the admiration of her attendants, and just before they leave, Kazin snips off the head of a fire lily to nestle it beside her headband. Very pretty, Lady Toph, Huang Zi says, as they lead her down the corridors. She snorts at that, but thanks them with a smile and a short bow as they lead her through a set of doors to her seat at the meeting table, and they melt away somewhere behind her as the meeting begins with the announcement of Zuko's arrival. The room stands, and as they move to sit when Zuko nods in acknowledgement, she inclines her head in his general direction. Good morning, Sparky, she calls out, smirking, and she hears the roomful of Fire nation generals and diplomats cough discreetly in astonishment and perhaps a bit of awe. He introduces her as he slides neatly into his seat at the head of the table. Generals, this is Toph Bei Fong, earthbender, teacher to the Avatar, friend to Iroh, the Dragon of the West. Toph blinks at his tone (formal with just a hint of that Zuko-dry-smile), and straightens in her seat. Gentlemen, she nods to the table, and with that, they launch straight into their discussion of the Fire nation.
TOPH listens. They talk about the political unrest among the people, the unstable economic situation, the government budget, the whispers of rebellion and assassination attempts, the unsettled matters of the army, the skirmishes along the border. They talk about the proposed treaties with the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribes and their demands for compensation. They talk about rebuilding and future trade opportunities. Toph listens, and finds that she understands much of what they are saying - maybe her tutor was of some use after all. It is surprising how much this discussion piques her interest - lao shi had always made politics and economics so boring and dry and formal. This animated debate over country matters has more substance than what she remembers from her classes - the calm mauve of Zuko's voice over the rainbow opinions of his generals as they talk about things from different perspectives, diligently prodding at problems in grey areas for a compromise. She does wonder briefly at her presence, but is swept away by the current of discussion, and starts to interject her own opinions, which are taken seriously, to her surprise. Here she is blind, young, an outsider, a girl, but they listen to her input, include her opinions, and expand on her theories.
Oh, she thinks, tracing earth symbols with her fingers on the table as they launch into a heated exchange about the conditions of the treaty with the Earth Kingdom, I could get used to this.
Towards the end of the meeting, the topic steers back towards the army, and she frowns as she remembers something. Firelord Zuko, she interrupts, straightening in her chair, and he pauses in his conversation with General Zhang to accommodate her. Was the Dai Li officially disbanded? Zuko furrows while his generals murmur amongst themselves. No. In fact, I think we just assumed that without a leader it would dissolve automatically. Toph can tell that he doesn't quite know what to think about the growing smile on her face. No way, Princess. The Dai Li are Earth Kingdom specialists, you know. I'm betting most of them are still hanging around somewhere, trying to figure out what to do. Zuko blinks, then understands, and confers quietly with his generals while she kicks her chair back and decides on whether to lift her feet onto the table or the armrest. Toph, he begins. Do you want me to put you in charge of the restructuring of the Dai Li?
She decides that the armrests are comfier. Thought you'd never ask, Firelord Hotpants.
The smiles on both their faces, she knows, are the same.
A/N: First things first - rest assured that I *will* complete this story, even if it takes me forever to update. I promise. I don't like hanging stories myself. I have plans for this one, they're vague but they're there. Expect five or so chapters of similar length to this, I think, and also - very slow relationship building. Secondly - ohmygosh, my first real story after eight years of lurking and dabbling in some failed fanfiction. I know I'm in a tiny corner - Toph/Zuko isn't a very loved pair, but my muse hit me the hardest for this story. I have a soft spot for Toph and Zuko; Zuko/Katara and Zuko/Mai's good, but Zuko/Toph is my guilty, guilty pairing. I love'em. Please read & possibly review. :)