I woke up in yet another drowsy morning, I only slept for 3 hours.
Stepped into the bathroom, and removed my bloodied clothes. Then I let the warm water flow down my body, washing away the blood on my wounds.
On my naked back, I am counting last night's damage. Last night's raid, left me 5 gunshots, approximately 12 claw marks, some bite mark left by one of those blood suckers, and a horrendously deep cut on my waist.
I didn't mind at all, since I am used to it.
3 years. 3 whole years since she left me...
Himeko...
Why wasn't I able to forget you?
Why do you have to be killed in my place, like how father died for mother?
Why was I chosen as Princess Kiva...?
I could keep on fighting...
But every time I am not fighting, I feel so much pain...
The wound you left me, Himeko... was way painful than the physical wounds left on me, no amount f scars hurts as much as this... I looked at myself in the mirror, staring into my eyes, one that was slowly going blind thanks to prolonged usage of Kiva's powers as a half-blood, another one that will probably retain its light for all eternity, Himeko's transplanted eye.
I feel disgusted, looking at myself in that mirror, for I had lost sight of who I really am... am I Chikane Himemiya, daughter of the genius violinist, Otoya Himemiya and the vampire queen, Yuzuru Tepes Ogami, or am I just a monster, like what those kids always called me back at middle school.
"I am sorry Chikane... for making you a monster..." I know that I would be lying if I told her that I never hated her, but I did lie, on her deathbed. I hate her as almost much as I hate myself, I hate her for giving birth to me into this world, for letting father pay the price as Dark Kiva, in order to protect her, when she is 8 months pregnant with me. It not like that I don't understand the situation... but I couldn't bring myself to forgive this woman...
"Maybe you should try believing yourself for once? I was human once, and now made into a devil, host for the Seshouseki. Kagura was also human once too, but those bastards turned her into the way she is today - the cute little Chibi who started again from infancy. Aruka was once human too, but she was disowned along with her brother when her fragment grew to be a missing link, abandoned and forced to live in the harsh environment of the Black Spot."
"We are monsters, Chikane, you are in denial, my friend, only when you accept the fact that you are a monster, or half a monster if you want, you should be able to live more freely don't you think?"
Easy for you to say, Yomi Isayama, I appreciate the fact that you tried to understand my pain, but it was not good enough, I know that you are a sharp person, but you just haven't realised this, I had already given up when Himeko was killed by Eric Cartman, her reinforcement.
Even though I ripped him to shreds in my Garuru form along with his Vandam, it still didn't satisfy me at all, in fact, I remembered crying out loud for Himeko, holding her cold, lifeless hand, screaming until my throat went dry. Ever since then, I never felt happiness, not anymore.
I woke up in the bathtub filled with warm water, feeling more energetic now that I slept longer.
I came out, and got dressed, and went to check my email.
"Hey Chikane, it's me Yomi, I have a very interesting job for you, want to do it? I will meet you at the usual place for more details, see you there ASAP! Yomi Isayama."
It was like this too today huh.
"Kivat, wake up!"
The half bat, half buckle thing sleeping on the ceiling upside down, opened its eyes and swooped down.
"Good morning Ojou-, hold on! Why are you waking me up this early? It is only 4 a.m.!"
"Shut up Kivat! We got a job to do!" I replied.
"But we just finished one job like a few hours ago!"
"You can sleep in if you want, unless you want to disappoint my parents by letting me get killed-"
"Fine, you win!"
In the deep of the night, Kivat and I hopped on to my bike, and rode off into the moonlight.
Guess I have to pull that facade up again, right Himeko?
You do know that I am suffering underneath that smile...