Note: I do not own Harry P. nor do I own The Mirror by Hoobastank…. Enjoy…
Looking back at me
Is it shame?
Draco raised his downcast eyes, focusing them across the Great Hall. The loud chattering of those around him filled him, mixed with the clinking of millions of forks against the plates.
She was there, in between her two best friends, like usual. He watched her laugh, echoic and beautiful. Her eyes shone with some inner happiness as she tilted it backwards in laughter.
How had she changed over the summer?
He knew the change was there… He just couldn't find it. Her brown hair and eyes… all the same. She was still the know-it-all during class. But somehow, this year, she was gorgeous.
And that thought made him lower his eyes. How could one torment something so beautiful? How could one drag something so perfect into angst?
Draco cringed when he noticed his past lines of thought. When had he used such adjectives to describe her? Perfect, beautiful….
Is it greed?
Another emotion washed over him. One he was familiar with. Greed. He wanted this ethereal being. He wanted her just like he had wanted everything else in his life. Power, money, skill… and what he wanted he got.
Greed was something he could quench.
Is it something that I need?
But he wasn't the only one to notice the difference in Hermione. She laughed at something one of the guys around her said and then leaned over kissing Ron on the cheek; whose cheeks flamed red with embarrassment.
Draco dropped his fork, pushing away from the table. A few started Slytherins glanced up at him as he rushed from the Great Hall.
The halls were dark with oppressing night, only a few candles flickered in the shadows.
To make me feel so strong to the other ones
Perhaps if Draco was to have Hermione as his girlfriend… he would be considered the strongest, the best by those who longed for what he possessed. Of course, deep down, he already knew most cowered from him, those evil ones looked up to him.
He didn't need her to be the top, but he wanted her. And want was a powerful emotion.
Is it real?
Is it true?
All the trouble I go through
He closed his eyes briefly, inhaling the scent of the hallway, of the smoke, of the stones. The only stable thing around him at that moment was the walls that protected him from the outside world. Everything else seemed to waver, his thoughts, his heart, and his purpose. He couldn't… he had to keep up his reputation. He had to keep up the family name. He could not date Hermione, the best friend…the Mudblood.
With a scowl, he realized his circling thoughts. He couldn't tell right from wrong. Weakness from Strength.
Was he falling?
Was he going under?
Was the sight of this woman dragging him into uncertainty?
Is it just a way, to show
(Trying so hard, but still I get nothing)
That I don't have the strength to show
Was it all just some test? Some mental, self-given test to show himself that he didn't have the nerve, the strength. To either stand up to his father or to stand up to the whole school.
That his reputation was all an act, inside he was just as lost as everyone else, with just as haunting a child hood.
He heard his footsteps once again through his thoughts; the air around him became murkier. He knew without looking that he had led himself to the dungeons.
But the mirror will always know
Draco opened his silver eyes. Staring back at him was a reflection of him self. Confused and alone, just like he felt. He walked forward slowly, realizing, no matter how much he hide from himself inside. It all showed. All the doubts, all the fear…
And the mirror never lies…
I've got to let go
Is it them?
Is it me?
He took an unsteady step forward, as if the image before him threw him off. As if he had hide from himself his weaknesses and now when they were all laid before him, like the shiny surface of the mirror; he couldn't, wouldn't believe it.
"No," he whispered to his only spectators; the shadows, the small spiders in the corners to busy to pay any heed and the mirror before him. "I am not weak!"
I'm just to occupied to see
Afraid to look within to the real one
Can it be that I am scared?
Draco shook his head, causing his face to go blank, dead and the mirror reflected him. No one, no thing would make him appear weak… for he was not.
Yet, even as he thought the words, they didn't seem to ring true. With blinding realization, a shock that made him stumble back from the mirror.
He was scared.
Scared of what his father would think.
Scared of what others would think.
Scared of what she would think…
To share the parts I've never shared?
Or is it just a way to show
(Trying so hard, but still I get nothing)
Spinning away from the mirror, this object that made him open up to his true feelings, Draco stormed down the hall, in desperate attempt to drown out what wouldn't go away.
He had never given his heart, never falling in love before. So…
Why now?
Why her?
Why with someone who pitied and despised his existence? Was it some kind of test? Was heaven trying to prove something? Was heaven trying to tell him not to look upon himself as god, or as perfect or as the best?
Trying to tell him that he was just like everyone else?
Fragile, broken, smudged, wanting…
You won't get inside my head cause I won't let you go
To see that I am crying out for you to
Know what I want to say
He was just like everyone else… someone who needs. Someone who has strengths… and as much as he would hate to admit it… weaknesses.
And his weakness was her.
Beautiful, breathtaking her, in all her simplistic beauty.
And he couldn't even tell her what he felt. Just another problem the mirror laid truth too.
Why couldn't she just know?
I've got to let you know
That I want to say
And why couldn't she just accept.
I've just got to tell you.
Note: I know, I know… random and spacey… lol… but please review. I enjoy reviews. Oh, and in case I didn't repeat it enough times, the theme of this songfic is the mirror (showing all truths) : P
I just feel like I repeated that word, "Mirror" a lot.
Mirror, mirror on the wall…
Who's the fairest of them all?