Firsts

She wondered how many first's she'd experience today. She wondered and hoped but knew that this wouldn't stay her only first.

No.

But, huh, laughing deep down inside, knowing well enough that this was already her second first, Aoko's mind blanked, seeing nothing, feeling nothing but the pumping, raging heart inside her chest.

It hurt, her heart, it hurt so much that she couldn't breathe, her insides clutched together as if the pressure dropped a thousand percent with the intent of kill.

There was a click and something hard and cold was pressed to the side of her forehead, the pressure around her neck tightening as if she has been able to breathe before, as if she hasn't been suffocating all along. As if she hadn't die inside a long time ago.

Another click and Aoko knew what was pressed to her head was a gun and now it was loaded, anytime ready to shoot as if it hasn't been ready before, as if she wasn't doomed to die before.

She felt as if underwater, her feelings muted, the sound muted, her vision barely there. She tried to remember what happened but it was nothing but vague and painful. It was on the edge of her conscience, it was there and it wasn't. Only the very cold and hard and real metal pressed to her let her keep her head above water and yet – the muteness never left her senses.

She barely knew what she was doing before her trained body took over even though trained was grasping at straws because her body wasn't really trained. She'd taken a few self-defense courses, trained a few times with people, friends and she wondered what friends it were because she couldn't remember all of a sudden.

It must be the shock her mind mumbled deep inside and Aoko trusted it. Yeah, it must be the shock. There was no other explanation as to why she'd forget who her friends were. Absolutely no other good enough explanation. (Because her friends being dead couldn't possibly be it.)

She held fast onto his arm which kept gripping her neck tightly, pressing her into him, and slowly, ever so slowly, she pulled her right hand up, tangled it with her hair, as to what she wanted them to think what she was doing, she didn't know. But slowly, ever so slowly, she moved her hand to the gun still pressed hard on her head. If she, millimeter by millimeter, was able to push the deadly weapon away from her way too fragile head, she could maybe survive tonight. Maybe.

But those were killers, trained killers and she didn't see how she had a single chance to win but then again, she was Nakamori Aoko and one Nakamori Aoko never gave up without a fight. And if that fight meant she'd die, then she died trying because she'd die anyway, right? At least give them hell while you're at it.

Slowly, holding her breath in anticipation or maybe because he was squeezing her neck so tightly that she simply couldn't get a single gulp of air, she pushed the gun away from her head. Slowly, way too slowly and her body was protesting because it desperately needed air she wasn't giving it and black spots were appearing in her vision and the gun was still pressed to her head and oh god, they knew what she was doing, weren't they?

And then everything happened so fast.

Her angel in white appeared, in his o so glorious white suit with his o so fashionable white hat and that old man monocle. It didn't take him a single second before he drew his card gun but that wouldn't be enough, now would it? What could cards do against bullets?

He was nuts if he believed he could fight those guys in pretty much close-range when all he had was his dumb card gun.

Yeah, that's why Aoko decided to have another first because what did she have to lose?

She wrenched her head back, so far back she could in order to get the gun away from her head, with her right arm pushing the gun in the other direction and then there was an incredibly loud bang and she was falling and then pain erupted in her head and then there was nothing.

Pain was what brought her back though, made her open her eyes again. It hurt and she wanted to just finally die because this wasn't death, right? She could barely open her eyes, something was making it incredibly difficult and her body felt so heavy and oh god, what happened?

She heard voices around herself but she couldn't tell what they were saying. Mostly she heard her heart thumping in her chest going thump-thump-thump. It meant she was alive by some miracle, still alive, still destined to fulfill her purpose. This wasn't her time to die because she still had something to do.

Was it the shock? Another shock making her think such thoughts? About destiny and purpose as if one only lived for a certain purpose and once that was fulfilled they would die. But then so many people would have died much sooner, wouldn't they?

She turned her head slightly, desperately wanting to know what was going on and although her vision was more than blurry, she saw white quite a distance away from her and something was moving towards it. There were black spots around the white spot – Kid must have been surrounded by the goons. If she remembered correctly even though her memories were all blotched she'd never forget her angel in white.

Blinking a few times to clear her vision, Aoko saw a gun lying not far away from her. If she just stretched her arm, she might be able to grab it. And then what? She tried to think all these thoughts at what she would do once she grabbed the gun but all she did was see the gun and stretch for it, make a grab for it and then her body took over again and then she had another first.

The gun felt incredibly heavy in her hand and she was barely able to lift it. But when she did and when she zeroed in on the guy dressed in all black, she couldn't help herself. Even before she could even finish her thought at how that was not good what she was trying to do, she had already pulled the trigger.

The recoil was incredible and she wondered if she maybe broke her hand and her ears were ringing, making her headache all the worse but who cared about that?

A few bullets were shot her way until her vengeful white angel took them all out, she having given him all the opportunity to grab the chance, the distraction and get rid of the other threats. She would have shot them herself and while that thought scared her very deep down, she didn't care and would have gone through with it. She would have.

When silence returned, only the ringing in her ears staying, she let her tense body fall to the ground again, relaxing her muscles.

It was over.