I sighed. Gah! how many times do we have to have this conversation? Probably a million more times. I mean really it wasn't like I was going to change my mind after he changed me. I want to be with Edward forever and ever. I don't even care what it took. I paced the Cullen's living room while Edward sat on the couch quietly watching me, his lips pursed. He really knows how to piss someone off. I can't believe him! Ugh! If he didn't start to believe me when I told him he has a soul, were going to have some pretty big problems. And he better start believing me pretty soon, because the theses fights are getting old.
" Edward, really, I want this I swear. I'm so sick of you saying that I'm damning my soul. I mean come on, I'm just starting to think that you don't want me to be with you for the rest of eternity!" I was really starting to get angry. I've told him over and over and over again too many effing times to count. It's like I am talking to a freaking brick wall.
" You know it's not like that love." He said softly. It sure seems like it.
" Really? Then please do tell me Edward how it is?" I shouted out of frustration at the ceiling. I'm pretty glad the rest of the Cullens have given us privacy, when we started arguing. This was a touchy subject for Edward and me, and I hate it when others are around when I explode full of anger.
" I don't want to-" I cut him short. I looked straight into his golden topaz eyes. I knew exactly what he was going to say. I still remember the first time I found out it was all about my soul.
" Damn my soul, " I mocked him, " I think I've gathered that, over the last year." He face had a show of pain and sadness. I went over to the long white sofa and sat down positioning my body so I was facing him. I took one of his pale cold stone like hands in mine. Our fingers locked together and sat there in complete silence for a seconds.
" It's for the best love." He said. How could this possibly be for the best? I think he's seriously crazy. If he never changes me, I'm going to die one day, and he'll still continue to live.
" Edward, i love you and i want you to change me. if being with you means having no soul then so be it, but i know you have a soul. The most wonderful soul that has ever existed in fact." I lightly place my hand on his chest. He kept his eyes glued to the ground, knowing if he were to look up he might actually give in.
" Please Edward, I love you. This is the only way for me to be completely sure you won't leave me again. I won't be afraid every second that I'm with you that you just might up and leave me again." I winced at the memory. I knew Edward would never be able to leave me again, but he didn't need to know that right now. I know it was below the belt and low to have to come to say this, but honestly I know those are the only word that'll change his mind. I looked Edward, the love of my life, I can see that he believed my words and was slowly giving into me.
" When?" His voice rasped.
" Huh?" I dumbly asked. Nice job Bella, way to act smart I scolded myself.
" When do you want to be turned? How soon?" I was utterly shocked. I knew my words would change his mind about keeping me human, but I didn't think he would let me do as soon as I wanted. Usually he tries to convince me wait for at least a couple years, but this time he was the complete opposite. Alice zoomed into the room pulling poor jasper along with her.
" Eeep! Bella I'm so excited! I cant wait! OMGeee!" Alice jumped up down screaming like a little kid finding out they get their own pony.
" Wow, geez Alice, calm down." I laughed, but was slightly nervous to her hyperness. I have seen Alice hyper many of times, but never like this. It actually very frightening right now. Jasper just laughed sensing my uneasiness.
" Hun, calm down. Your scaring Bella." He soothed.
"I can't! Bella's gonna be with us forever, Bella's gonna be with us forever and ever and ever and ever…" Alice sang skipping around the room. The sight as hilarious, but frightening at the same time. She looked like an over size child skipping.
" Um… I don't think this is normal. Should we call a doctor?" I was getting worried. I don't think it's normal for vampire to act this way. Edward and Jasper just looked at me like I was stupid. Why were they looking at me that way?
" Wait, never mind scratch that, Should we call Carlisle?" I blushed deeply. How could I forget they couldn't see doctors or their secret would be given away. Duh! Both guys laughed and shook their heads no.
" Just let Alice be Alice." Edward chuckled. I laughed along with him. Alice was incredibly, well like Edwards said Alice.
" And ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and-" Alice repeated over and over again and I finally cut her off. Wow this is annoying.
"Okay yes Alice, we get it I'm going to be with you guys forever now could you stop singing?"
"Nope! And ever…" She started but I cut her off once again.
" I'll let you play Bella Barbie?" I asked. I dreaded her dressing my in frilly girly cloths, but right now that sounded A LOT better than having to listen to her annoying singing. It's not like she has a bad singing voice, because its truly amazing, but listening to the same thing over and over again is horrible. My annoying, but lovable pixie sisters eyes instantly lit up even more. Oh no what have I done? She going to torture me! Ugh! Great! . I wouldn't trade my vampire family for anything in the world
" I want to do it tomorrow. The sooner the better." I said to Edward as I looked at him in the mirror as Alice straightened my wavy brown hair and worked her 'magic'.
" Ooh Ooh! Can I dress you and get you all done up before they turn you, so when you wake up you'll look fashionable? Please, please, please?" Alice jumped waving the hot object around my head.
" Woah, girl watch that thing. If you burn me you are going to totally pay. But yes you can play with Bella Barbie IF and only IF you don't burn me." I said seriously. I did not want to be burned by that torture device.
" Thanks Bella! You'll look Ah-Mazing!" She squealed and hugged my back, because I am sitting on a not so cozy chair getting my hair done, before getting back to my hair.
" Don't I always?" I muttered quietly. After three antagonizing hours, Alice decide she was finished with her life size Barbie doll, or well I should say Bella doll. I looked pretty much the same, the only difference was my hair was straight and I had a little make up on, but other than that I still look plain. Sigh. I guess Alices 'magic' wasn't enough to make me look at least cute while I was around them. Seriously, though they are all beautiful vampires where as I'm a boring dull human. I can never even start to compare myself to them. But, at least I might be a little prettier when the transformation is over. Ha yeah right, with my luck I still be dull clumsy Isabella Marie swan. The transformation. I'm going to be transformed tomorrow! I started to ounce with anticipation and excitement on the bar stool.
"Oh, I knew you'd like it! Doesn't that blush make you look adorable. And don't get me started on how your lipstick just makes you face pop!" She rambled.
" Yeah yeah it's great." I said muttering. Alice bored holes into my head. I sat staring into the mirror for what seemed like hours wondering how I was going to look after I was turned into a vampire. Don't think I'm vain, if that's what your thinking, because I'm not. I am just tired of standing in the Cullens, especially Edwards, presence and feel out of place, not good looking enough to be around them. I do admit it does sound kind of vain though huh? Hmm. I continued to think about the transformation, when I fell asleep in the chair.
I sat once again onto a bar stool as I let Alice give me a makeover. Unlike all the other time she played Bella Barbie I was actually excited this time. I waited eagerly waited for her to put the finishing touches on me before I was able to look in the mirror.
" Okay, you can look now." Alice said letting me off the stool to go look in her bedroom mirror on the other side of the room. I gasped. The changes were drastic. Alice is a miracle worker. My hair, that once was dark brown was now dyed into a golden blonde just a few shades lighter than Rosalie's, was in endless spirals that never seemed to end. My lips painted in a dark red, that made me newly blue eyes due to contacts of course, made my eyes pop. I stood there flabbergasted as I took in my new appearance. After ten more minutes of staring at my new look, I finally decide it was time to show Edward.
" Bella love? Are you sure you want to do this? We can-" I started but she stopped me putting a finger to my lips to shush me. I really can't believe Alice made such drastic changes to my Bella. She looked just like any other teenager. She just looked plain and like everyone else. Isabella of course was still beautiful, she just looked WAY different. She really didn't look like Bella anymore, she just looked like a human version of Rosalie, but that didn't make me love her any less. She could be a eighty year old and I'd still love her the same.
"We're doing this." She insisted. I began to have an internal battler in my head. There's no way and I mean no way I want Bella to end up damned such as myself, but then again I wanted us to be together forever. Gah! This is so freaking frustrating.
"Okay." I sighed. If this is what Bella wanted then so be it. I pray to god, the change won't put her in the most dreadful pain I've experience in my life. I winced. I tried to focus on calming things. I closed my eyes and pictured my happy place. My happy place was with Bella in our meadow with all the beautiful wild flowers surrounding her breathtaking beauty. I listened to the love of my life's heart beat steadily. Oh, how I wish I could be human for her. I wish I could be enough for her. How I envy and wish I could do human things with her.
" Lets get this over with before I change my mind." I said. That got her going she jumped up and dashed downstairs to my father, reminding me of Alice leave those two together for too long you'll get twins
" Isabella, this shouldn't hurt one bit. I'm going to give you an anesthetic before we start to try to keep the pain away. When you wake up, everything will be new to you and you'll be VERY thirsty, okay?" he reassured her. I have no idea why but he's the only one she'll let called her Isabella. She practically loathes being call that, but when Carlisle calls her by her first name she seems at peace. I believe it's because she sees him in a fatherly way. I took deep unneeded breaths and focused on Bella. Everything around me seemed to not exist at this moment as I just watched her. Soon she was laying on the hospital bed with and breathing mask over her face. She looked so small and fragile in the bed.
" I love you with all my heart Bella," I kissed her softly, "I'll be here waiting for you when you wake up."
"Mm. Love you too." Her words slurred and she slipped off into a peaceful sleep. I kissed her for head and stood up. I felt a hand on my shoulder.
" In about half and hour we get started. The morphine should kick in here shortly." I just nodded. I continued to listen to her heart beat until my dad came back in.
" It's time son." He said in a serious voice, I've only heard him use a few times. I would have laughed at how the scene before me looked like it was from a soap opera, but there was no laughing matter, when you take away someone's some, their mortality, their heartbeat. I gently placed a light kiss on Isabella's neck before sinking my teeth in. I let my venom dip in as thoughts overwhelmed me. I could see images fly through my head of Bella. Images of Bella with children. images of Bella going home for holidays from college. Images of Bella having normal friends. Image of Bella getting married to a normal human. Image of Bella growing old with the one she loved. Images of what Isabella Marie Swan will never have, because of what I just did. All of the images I pictured guess who was in them her. Not me, but you guessed it Jacob black. I really hate that kid, but I rather have her human with him and able to live a normal life instead of with me. I gasped as more and more thoughts consume my head and swirl around making me dizzy.
" Oh god! What have I done?" I gasped even louder than before and just sat there. My back was against the wall as more and more thoughts paraded through my head. I have to stop this!
"Carlisle! Come quick!" I yelled rushing over to my loves bedside.
" What's the matter son? Is she in pain?" He asked truly worried.
"No. I have to stop this! Is there any way to stop the transformation?" I yelled. I was honestly acting like a mad man, but I had to do this. I had to save her life from becoming a horrid monster.
" you would have to suck the venom out but son I 'don't know if that's such a good idea. This is what she wants." He sounded distant. He looked at me like I was bonkers.
" I have to do this! She has to have a normal life. Father, I need you tell me how to do this." I pled. He hesitantly but quickly told me the instructions. I did exactly as he said down to a tee afraid, it was too late. I finished sucking the venom out when I turned to Carlisle.
" Thank you. What do we do now?" What if I did it wrong? What if it was too late? What if she dies? More thought spun around and around in my head.
"We wait." With that he walked out of the house to get the rest of the family who were out hunting. Alice was going to be liv-id. But honestly I don't give a flying hoot what Alice has to say right now. I heard slight shifting from her bed.
"Where am I?" My angels voice asked.
BaHaHa, sorry guys but I just had to leave you at a cliffy. What do you think of this chapter? I was worried it was going to be really lame, but my cousin assured me it wasn't. Please review!
CiciFreakingSutton!