I got this idea when I was drunk one day, and was wondering about how China would behave when he's under the influence when he's usually so principled and well put together. Onhonhonhon...

The next installment will be uploaded in a few days. I'm working five days straight, so hopefully I'll get some time in between to write.

04/08/12- Edited. What the fuck had I just written? Wow, so bad. The first time around, I had written this after having a few. I think the whole brainstorming, writing, and editing process for this story had just been one huge boozefest, and I'm actually staring at the screen with a sober mind right now going shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit .

Anyways, I hope the new version is better. -shoots self- For some reason, I just haven't been happy with anything I've written for the past few weeks.

I hope you guys'll enjoy asshole!Ivan and crossdressing!Yao. Just as a warning.

For Russia, Wednesdays couldn't get any more ordinary. He woke up, dealt with his boss yelling at him for another eight hours at work, went to the market, and came home as soon as he could. As usual, Russia was looking forward to a hot dinner, quick shower, and another lonely night in front of the TV, flipping through random channels until he found something that shed enough blood to be deemed watchable.

But, all of that was tossed aside when he found a little gift sitting at his doorstep, the sight of which made him splatter his week's worth of groceries on the cold, hard pavement.

It was wrapped in silk and topped with a big bow redder than the colour of his old flag. The present itself was perfect, pristine, and whoever left it on his doorstep must had been well-informed of Russia's good taste.

Russia, due to previous promises made to himself, was a little reluctant in unravelling this delectable treat with his own bare hands. He figured he should show a little more restraint this time, so that his present wouldn't scream "rape" and sprint to the other side of the border as quickly as his long, beautiful legs could carry him. Or else, Russia would a happy time explaining to his boss why gas sales have suddenly plummeted, and not to mention, why all these nukes were now pointing at the Kremlin.

China was sitting beside his door, hugging his legs and rocking back and forth, staring into outer space through a pair of swollen, pitch-black pupils. The bow on his head tilted cutely to the side, and made him look like he had a pair of fluffy ears.

Russia had no idea why China had decided to appear at his front porch, not that he was complaining. At least his favourite thing in the world didn't have to be hunted down this time.

"Um, Yao? Are you okay?"

Russia reached out a hand, but quickly stopped upon remembering the restraining order that China had made him sign only two days ago.

Control yourself, Ivan. Russia thought to himself. Make friends first, and reel the prize in when the time comes, da? Kolkolkol...

God, it should be illegal for China to wear women's clothing, or at least a red nightgown so short that it only barely brushed the valley between his thighs. It made Russia want to rip it off and claim his present right then and there, and willingly break all of the gentleman codes in the book like clay pots.

Besides, even if Russia did do anything him, it was not that anyone would find out. He had lived completely alone in his house for the past twenty years with no one to disrupt him, and as for poor old China there...

Well...

Russia tilted his head to see that there were a couple of empty vodka bottles laying beside China that he hadn't noticed before, and it didn't take a genius to deduce that the man who had claimed to passionately hate alcohol and probably never touched a drop in his life, was just drinking. Which meant, even if Russia laid a finger on him, his lovely little head probably wouldn't remember! Teehee, today must be his lucky day.

But before Russia could even touch a hair on his head, he was thrown back as China pounced all four limbs upon him.

"Hello, Ivan," he purred into Russia's ear, slurring his words a bit, "D'ya miss me?"

Russia swallowed a knot in his throat, and could almost feel his skin melt as China took no time in planting messy kisses along his cheek and neck.

Yes, Russia did miss him, every fucking day. But for now, Russia's mind teetered from whether he should tell the truth to China's previous question, or should he even answer at all. Whether China even had the sobriety to take Russia's confession seriously, or would everything be slept off for the night, his efforts wasted.

Thankfully, China silenced him with a kiss on the lips, while still clinging onto him like a cat with claws. Russia's eyes widened in surprise as he stumbled back into the wall.

When the smaller man slipped his tongue into the other's dry mouth, Russia realized how China tasted oddly enough like his own vodka that was kept in his fridge. Though, Russia decided not to dwell upon how the man could have hacked through the relentless security system guarding his estate, and instead relished in China's desperate, clumsy, albeit successful attempt at seduction.

China broke them apart finally, making the other man whimper at the loss. A thin strand of saliva dripped from between the corner of their mouths.

"Ivan, can't you stay with me for one night?" China whispered between panting, swollen lips, looking him straight in the eye, "I'm lonely..."

Russia, who was more than happy to abide, dropped them both onto the ground, his bottom hitting the pavement with a thud. In answer to China's question, Russia returned the favour with another, more ferocious kiss.

"I'm so lonely, Ivan, are you too blind to see that?" China barely mumbled from between breaths, refusing to tear them apart. He grabbed a fistful of his partner's silver hair, and pulled him closer, deeper.

Lean hips grinded against Russia's own, while China's small, dainty hands mauled his shirt open, making loose buttons pitter-patter off to the side. A moan cracked from the back of Russia's throat before he could stop himself, as China's lips moved down to his chin, neck, and to the dip of his collarbone, peppering his lips at every inch of flesh he could find.

Though he knew China must be upset at something, Russia wasn't even listening to what the other was grumbling about from between his mouth at work. Russia's ears, no, his whole head, was pounding with blood. His eyes had gone blind to everything except for this vixen riding him, running his hot, wet tongue across his chest, and even giving his nipple a quick bite.

"That hurt, Yao..."

Hurt so good.

China didn't say anything, and probably didn't hear him in the first place. Instead, Ivan felt a drops of warm liquid drip onto his chest. It took him awhile to realize that they were tears. China's tears.

Russia felt his zipper being pulled down, and his cock stiffened upon exposure to the chilly air.

Upon seeing him in his glory, China but rolled his eyes and let a few curse words slur out of his mouth. The smaller man buried his head back down, and slipped the thick member between pink, puckered lips.

Russia roared in sheer delight, and arched his neck back until the brick wall dug into his scalp. His one hand pushed against the wall, in attempt to plunge himself deeper down the other's throat.

He wanted to push China past his brim, just to see how he would be. Would he laugh, or would he cry? Or, if Russia's worst fears were confirmed, would his angel just lay numb because he felt nothing for him at all in the first place?

He wanted to find out. Curiosity was itching, burning him, despite that the back of his mind was yelling for him to stop, stop the madness he was allowing to let loose.

Russia had already made so much progress in building trust between his southern neighbour. Outside of the meetings and conferences, when they're no longer under their bosses' prying eyes, China actually called him a friend. Though being called a "friend" still made Russia's heart sting a little, at least it was better than being spat in the face and punched in the gut by the person he wanted more than anything in the world.

But he was finding it harder and harder to resist. That sweet mouth, those long, dusky lashes, his hypnotic voice moaning his name— it was as if China was imploring to be taken.

Russia felt like he was being teased with every flirt and flutter of the other's tongue, only to see how long it would take before the harpy was crushed by the bear's claws.

It won't be long, Yao, and when the time comes, you would be sore that you can't go anywhere without me carrying you.

Russia grinned to himself, and before China could take notice, he pulled his ponytail free, as a skein of inky-black hair cascaded down his shoulders. China looked better this way, Russia mused, and tugging at his locks was just his idea of revenge.

"Am I pleasing you now?" came a bitter, disgusted growl from down between Russia's legs.

After letting out a dry, shaking gasp in response, Russia tumbled down from his reverie, as he clenched his hips and released himself into China's mouth. In that split second, he felt no guilt, no remorse, only pleasure. Relentless, unbridled pleasure.

Russia sat on the ground, panting, a sheet of sweat decorating his bare chest. He looked up, and gave the grey skies above a fluttering sigh. No stars were coming out tonight.

Exhausted, spent, Russia's head drooped down and met gazes with his darling China, the corners of those petal-like lips dripping, oozing with his essence, and no one elses. God he loved this man.

Russia's heart stopped upon being shot a frigid glare from the other's chocolate-brown eyes. Oh great, now he's going to pay the price for having pushed him too far.

He leaned over and held out his arms, but China had dismounted and rolled to the side before he could be captured in an embrace. Russia sighed, and began to comb his hand through his friend's shrivelled head. The bow tie he had been wearing laid forgotten to the side.

"Yao, I'm sorry?" was his awkward apology. He gave a peck on the side of China's wet cheek, but hissed when the smaller man responded by slashing his feline claws at the side of his face.

He swore and patted some blood off his sleeve, while telling himself that it wasn't his fault that China was so upset. Russia didn't exactly beg to be blown.

"Are you satisfied, Ivan?"

Russia gulped. "Yes," he said. No point in lying now.

"I'm glad." China said, and chuckled at nothing in particular, "I'm glad..."

Goosebumps dashed down Russia's spine upon the sight of China licking off the blood off his nails, smacking his lips together at the taste. China flicked his gaze carelessly back at Russia, peering from beneath hooded eyes, and rolled his finger, urging him to come closer.

Russia was hesitant at first, but his mind knew it couldn't resist for long.

How could he deny China anything?

His knees gave in, and leaned forward until his mouth was, once again, only inches away from devouring him. China smelled like flowers, clean laundry, and the vodka in Russia's fridge that he had meant to leave for himself...

Russia had always been a sober drinker, so he knew this would be as close as he'd ever get to intoxication.

"Oh Ivan~" China sang, as Russia felt a finger tap at his metal belt buckle. He looked down and saw that not only was his fly still open, but also that the other man's hand seemed eager to be back at work, trying to bring him to life for a second round.

Russia chuckled and shook his head, but leaned closer to hook China's lips once more. China reached a hand up. His long, slim fingers just were about to caress the other's blushing cheeks, until...

Flick.

China slid off his body in a fit giggles, as Russia clutched his abused forehead with one hand and aching crotch in another, spitting out a string of ungodly curse words at the cruel, cruel man, and at himself for having so willingly become the victim.

TBC

Aww, Yao. What had gotten him so upset for him to want to do such naughty things on a whim?

I don't even know. I think I have this thing for writing wordy, yet plotless stories.

Like it so far? Please review!

Thanks so much!