See The Carpet of the Sun
Author's Note. This will be my first of three planned Merthian stories. ExcaliburMaiden is planning a Merthian Appreciation Month, so please visit her tumblr called She Will Be Loved if you are a Merthian fan. Please note for this story Merlin is Camelot's Court Sorcercer. When Mithian realises shes in love with Merlin she faces an uphill struggle to overcome destiny and fight for her right to be with him.
See the carpet of the sun
The green grass, soft and sweet
Sands upon the shores of time
Of oceans, mountains deep
Part of the world that you live in
You are the part that you're giving (By Renaissance)
Mithian smiled as she drew back the curtains, outside the sun was already shining warm and bright on the gardens below. It was the third day of her stay at Camelot, and the time was flying by fast. She had been invited by her friend Queen Guinevere, to attend the special Summer Festival that the Queen herself had founded. Every July the children of the lower town would get their chance to perform for the King and Queen of Camelot. It gave ordinary people a chance, to sit and rub shoulders with the nobles of the court. On this special day no one was more important than the stars of the show themselves.
As Mithian tucked into a quick breakfast in her room she smiled as she remembered the children who only yesterday had danced and sung their way around the Great Hall, bringing the grand room alive with laughter and pleasure. Mithian had felt honoured to have been sat next to Arthur and Guinevere, as they honoured the children and parents afterwards. She remembered one sweet girl who upon presenting Mithian with a bunch of flowers, had then run away to her mother shouting, "I have met a real Princess mother and she was lovely."
A knock on the door interrupted her memories, bringing her into the present with a jolt. Turning her head towards the door she called. "Come in." Mithian expected it to be the maid Sian that had been serving her since her stay in Camelot. But to her surprise eventually the smiling face of Merlin greeted her.
"I thought I would drop in and say hello. I have been incredibly busy of late, no excuse though not to have spoken to you before now." He smiled,
"I was led to understand that you were in Cenred's Kingdom when I arrived." Mithian smiled back, "I know you are now Court Sorcerer at Camelot but not even you could have managed to say hello from there!"
Merlin shrugged. "I still feel very neglectful if you can forgive me Princess."
"I can if you can call me Mithian." she corrected him, with a smile. "Well now you can make it up to me if you can find any time."
Merlin nodded. "That will be a pleasure Prin- I mean Mithian."
"Maybe we could find time for a walk later." Mithian suggested, pouring him a glass of water.
"Thank you. Yes that would be nice although I am indeed busy I can also arrange my own days, when nothing untoward's happens."
"May I ask what happened to take you away?" Mithian asked, curiously.
"A magic matter, that Arthur wanted me to look into. As it happens it was a fuss about nothing, as magic matters often are. Sadly magic still frightens some people."
Mithian noticed just how much it pained him to admit it, and she suddenly felt tremendous sadness for him. It had been almost a year since Merlin had been made Court Sorcerer of Camelot after saving his Kingdom from Morgana. She knew a lot had changed for him, but she also realised by the look on his face, that there was still much to do, before people generally could accept magic in Camelot.
"I was so happy when I heard you'd been made Court Sorcerer. In fact I can even remember the very day I found out. For what it's worth I thought you were very brave, and I know in the end that people will come around to accepting magic. You must have faith in yourself." She put her hand over his and for a moment they did nothing but stare at one another. She had no idea how long they stayed like that, but Merlin's sudden movement from his seat almost shocked her, as she came too.
"Er thank you MIthian." Merlin coughed, "I had better get on I will aim to be around in the afternoon if you have no other plans."
"I will look forward to it." Mithian smiled, watching him get up awkwardly. He almost walked into a chair in his haste to be out of the room. As the door closed she wondered if he had felt like she just had, or was he merely embarrassed by Mithian touching his hand? It was as if that touch had somehow sparked something deep inside her, that before she had hidden. She closed her eyes trying to make sense of the feeling.
From the moment she had met him something about Merlin had stood out for her. Even now she had struggled to identify what it was. She could point to the fact that she found him warm, funny, excellent company, kind hearted. By the very fact that he had protected Arthur all these years, pointed to the fact that he was also brave and resourceful too. Yet none of those things had prepared her for the fact that she was attracted to him. Thinking it through she now felt rather foolish that she hadn't indeed seen it before, now it was so clear to her. The very thought of her staring into his eyes left her feeling giddy with happiness and delight.
With the thought of it flooding her mind, she found she suddenly had a spring in her step. She hurriedly finished her breakfast anxious to get out into the sunlight and stretch her legs. After putting on her favourite flared skirt, and checking her appearance briefly in the mirror she left her room. As she slowly emerged down the steps, she could already hear the noise outside in the court yard. The smell of freshness encouraged her to leave the citadel and head for the gardens. She had taken to sitting in the rose garden daily, watching about her as Camelot went about its business.
There was something about sitting and watching the world go by which fascinated her. Being a Princess with a role to play at all times, she seldom had such opportunities. So recently she had made the most of having those quiet moments of contentment when for once she could just contemplate the world around her. Except this day was different for she had something or rather someone to think about.
As she remembered the conversation they had had only minutes before, she realised she had never spoken to him about his magic before. She tried to think about that and how it must have affected him in the year since he had been ousted as a Sorcerer. She remembered hearing from a friend of her father's about how he had bravely protected the King and Queen, when Morgana had struck. How his act had briefly led him to exile and banishment. It had been said that Arthur was in utter shock as he was forced to completely review his relationship with his best friend all over again. She could see it from both sides, but she found it hard to think that Merlin could ever do anything in hatred or cruelty.
But then as she sat and thought about it, she realised this was why at times he seemed so elusive to people. Maybe this was part of the problem, she wondered if she herself could assist him. She had always been a good listener, always willing to lend a shoulder to people. She had also been told she was a good reader of people too. But she didn't think that Merlin a man who had lived in the shadows for so long, would find talking about such things easy.
"There you are!"
Gwen's voice cut into Mithian's thoughts, she got up and greeted the Queen.
"Sorry I maybe should have said I was out here. I assumed you and Arthur would have been busy with meetings." Mithian explained.
"I should apologise I feel we've left you a bit to your own devices." Gwen smiled, sitting next to her.
"Nonsense I know how busy you must be at this time. I have enjoyed my quiet ponderings in this beautiful setting." Mithian smiled, pointing around her at the various roses and smelling their lovely scent.
"I must admit this is where I too come to do my thinking, whenever I need to get away from Arthur and Merlin's constant yapping." Gwen admitted. "Jack our gardener has done a lovely job here; it was never this extensive in Uther's day."
"No I imagine Uther had other things on his mind." Mithian shrugged, remembering tales of how Camelot's former ruthless King had run his Kingdom.
"Yes indeed." Gwen agreed.
"Camelot has undergone such changes since I was last here. Magic no longer outlawed that can't have been easy to implement here." Mithian remarked, wanting to know more.
"No it wasn't." Gwen said, looking around her. "In fact it was probably one of the roughest periods of time I can remember. There was so much fallout especially for Arthur and Merlin of course."
"I have heard that you take a lot of credit for getting them back together." Mithian said, wanting to find out as much as she could.
"Oh it wasn't anything huge. Arthur needed time that was all; I had faith that in the end he would know that Merlin would never have harmed anyone. There was a lot of hurt on both sides and I felt so torn between them as well. Even now Merlin behaves as if he has the world on his shoulders, he worries me sometimes. I wish he would learn to share his thoughts and fears." Gwen grimaced.
"Poor Merlin, he is always so attentive to me and such lovely company. But yes I too get the feeling that sometimes he holds back." Mithian mused, looking at her hands.
"Well maybe you can help." Gwen smiled.
"Sorry?" Mithian asked, taken unawares. Mithian wondered if Gwen was aware about her feelings for Merlin, she knew she was a very perceptive person.
"I just think that Merlin needs someone to take him out of himself. Maybe you can get through where Arthur and I can't. Sometimes talking to someone on the outside can help maybe being entirely honest with us and opening up is difficult for him to do. But I am sure with you it would be easier for him."
Mithian stared at Gwen still not quite sure what she meant. But she decided to test the waters more. "Well as it happens we are planning to see if other this afternoon."
"I am glad. Especially as I need to go and see Gaius later on. I am not trying to force anything on you Mithian but I just feel Merlin is relaxed with you. He still has so much on his shoulders and I think at times he needs someone else to unburden himself too."
Mithian suddenly relaxed. "Well I will do my best with him. I am sure as you say an afternoon away from his duties, will not do him any harm."
"No absolutely not." Gwen said getting up, "Thank you MIthian.
Mithian got up and the two friends hugged each other briefly. Mithian sat back down as she watched Gwen disappear back towards the castle. She realised much about what Gwen had said about Merlin, she herself had felt. It was especially the fact that he found it hard to talk to other people, and also the idea that his responsibilities were a big burden on him. As she thought back to what Gwen had said, she wondered if she had as much confidence in her ability to break through Merlin's facade, then her friend had.
She sighed, trying to think about the best approach. Then she suddenly had an idea, and she ran back to the castle.
Later that afternoon Mithian made her way outside to join a nervous looking Merlin in the court yard. She looked at him with affection as she noticed him moving from one foot to another, his heading turning at the same time.
"Sorry I hope I'm not late." She said, standing next to him a smile on her face.
"No of course not Princess." Merlin replied, doing his best to hide his nervousness.
"Mithian." She corrected. "Where do you suggest we go?"
"There is a wood outside the lower town there is a nice little walk we could do, if you are interested." Merlin suggested.
"That sounds lovely." Mithian grinned, slipping her arm through his.
As they walked through the lower town, their conversation became easy and natural. Mithian loved this part of Camelot; it was the heart of the Kingdom in her eyes. She enjoyed watching the people barter, selling their goods, and the lovely smell of roasted nuts that dominated the air around them. Everywhere she looked there was something to see, something to point at. In these moments Merlin was irresistible company. He always had an amusing little comment to say as she questioned him or noticed something. This was the relaxed, happy Merlin a man happy to be just another face in the crowd.
As they passed a fruit store a lady threw him a couple of apples as he walked by. Mithian and Merlin happily ate them as they walked towards the outskirts of the town, and nearer to the woods. The moments the woods beckoned Mithian sensed a difference in Merlin's mood. It was as if a switch had turned on and he appeared to be walking as if in tune with everything around him. As she stared at his face, she could see it soften as he looked around.
"I sense you are really at ease in this wood." Mithian smiled, falling into an easy step with him.
"Yes it is true I do feel at one when I'm near nature." Merlin admitted. "I mean look at those trees, how long do you think they have been here, and what have they seen? It is another world, so different from ours, and yet so much the same as well."
Mithian smiled at his words. "At times you sound so care free, I seldom have the chance for moments such as these. But I have to admit it feels good to have the sun on my face and you by my side."
She noticed Merlin blush slightly at her words, and once again a rush of affection stirred. "So tell me about this walk." She urged him.
"It is a walk I like to do when I need moments to myself, a secret place almost. I don't show many people this place." He smiled.
"I feel very honoured then in that case." Mithian smiled back, truly touched by his explanation. "So it is your little hideaway then?"
"Something like that. When I was growing up in Ealdor there was a similar place near to where I lived with my mother. When I was learning about my magic, I would often hide myself into this little paradise and practice my skills." He smiled, a melancholy look on his face.
Mithian smiled back, happy to see him open up a little bit, suddenly she realised she was dying to
hear more about his life in his home village. "Tell me about Ealdor." She encouraged, looking him in the eyes. Once more she could see his face soften at the memory.
"It was a very ordinary village, very simple life. It is rural most of the people work off the land. At harvest time everyone helps to get it in together. It was a very regimented life, every season certain jobs were done every year, and you had to do your bit otherwise you'd starve." He explained.
"It was very different to my existence then." MIthian smiled. "I loved my life though I missed my mother of course. But I wanted for nothing, my father saw to that. But I could never be free the way I wanted to be sometimes. Being born a Princess brings with it certain responsibilities."
By now they had come to a little patch of forest that was sheltered by a big ancient oak tree, it's branches hung down giving the area some cover from the hot sun. Mithian couldn't resist looking up to the top of the enormous tree. It dominated the landscape of this part of the forest. As she looked around the area, she noticed some fruit bushes a few yards away. She ran over picking some blackberries, taking delight in devouring them.
She ran back over to Merlin offering him one, as he opened his mouth she threw it in, but before he had the chance to eat it she kissed him on the mouth. The act took him by such surprise that he almost choked on the blackberry, his eyes searching hers in amazement.
"Sorry I couldn't resist." Mithian laughed. She walked over to him wiping around his mouth, with her hankie. "I'm sorry was my kiss that bad!"
Merlin burst out laughing. "No not at all you just took me by surprise that's all. I have never been kissed by a Princess before!"
"You just looked so adorable I couldn't resist." She replied, happily.
"Now you are teasing me." Merlin grinned.
"No I find you delightful company." Mithian said, "I'm always so surprised that you find that hard to believe."
"If Arthur could hear you say that, he'd laugh his head off." Merlin pointed out, outstretching his hand to her.
"Well I'm not Arthur am I?" Mithian replied, accepting his hand and sitting next to him.
"Well considering what's just happened, I'm rather relieved about that!" Merlin replied and they both laughed out loud.
For a couple of minutes they sat there in contented silence just looking about them. Mithian enjoyed his closeness to her, their shoulders touching, hearing his relaxed breathing in her ear. For those moments she felt totally at peace with the world. It was as if they had slowed down, to match the pace of life in the forest. She could hear a Blackbird singing further down the row of trees, and the soft humming of a bee on one of the flowers nearby.
"This is such a beautiful place." Mithian said, breaking the silence regretfully, but suddenly she felt restless to know more about him. "Tell me about your magic Merlin."
He turned his head around to her's staring at her intently. "You really want to know?"
"Yes I do." Mithian replied, matching his stare.
"When I'm in a place like this, it is as if it is an extension of myself. It connects with everything here that is why I am so relaxed when I am here. I am off this world, my magic is so deep inside of me that you cannot separate me from it."
Mithian watched him in fascination as he explained; once more his face had a softness to it, for a second she longed to touch it, but was afraid of interrupting his thoughts. So she tried to concentrate and understand the world from which he belonged.
"So you are saying it is with you all the time, even when you sleep?" she asked.
"Yes." Merlin smiled, resting his head back on the tree. "I have been woken up many a time due to my magic."
"That must be annoying sometimes." Mithian suggested, trying to think it through.
"Well it depends, if something is trying to kill me, I'm rather glad!" Merlin laughed.
"I hadn't thought of it like that." Mithian said, returning his laugh. "Has that happened to you?"
"Yes a few times." Merlin shrugged. "Once they even woke Gaius and that was spectacular."
Mithian laughed, encouraging Merlin to join in suddenly. Only when they stopped had Mithian discovered how close they had become. She had no idea who had instigated it but before she knew it their lips were touching, and the next thing she knew her arms were around his neck, as their passion grew. Just as she was getting into it, he sprung up, causing her to spring back in surprise.
"Princess I'm so sorry!" he cried out, obviously embarrassed. "I don't know what came over me."
She went over to him, putting her hands on his shoulders. "It is all right Merlin I'm not complaining."
"Even so I shouldn't have done it." Merlin said, his face suddenly reluctant to look at her.
"That is the trouble with being a Princess." Mithian mused, "Too many rules, always being told I can't do certain things. What if I said I want to be with you?"
Merlin looked at her in amazement. "Why would you want to be with me?"
"Because I think you are a wonderful man, and I doubt I would find a noble as lovely as you." Mithian said, looking at the ground.
There was a pause before he spoke again, "I know you will find someone worthy of you Mithian, and I wish with all my heart it could be me. But my destiny ties me to Camelot, to Arthur."
"I see." Mithian replied, feeling her eyes fill up with tears, and hating herself for showing such weakness.
"Please don't cry Mithian." Merlin said, attempting to dry her eyes with his hankie awkwardly.
"We had better get back to Camelot." Mithian said, quietly picking up her bag and walking away.
The journey back was very different to the one before. A couple of occasions Merlin tried to start a conversation, but Mithian was in no mood for small talk. She felt like her heart was breaking as she pondered his words. She had so been looking forward to her stay in Camelot now she just wanted to leave and go straight back to Nemeth.
As they approached the citadel she noticed Gwen looking out of the window, but she was in no mood to talk even with her friend, she just wanted the comfort of her room where she could let go of her emotions properly.
She knew he was still behind her, and she prepared to close the door between them, but he put his hand on it to stop her.
"I'm sorry Mithian I don't know what else to say?" He said, simply.
"There is nothing is say." Mithian said, feeling guilty as she could see his pain on his face as he stared at her.
"Thank you for the afternoon, I just wish it could have ended differently." He said, before moving away down the corridor.
She watched him go with a heavy heart before closing the door, and throwing herself down on the bed. But suddenly the tears that had threatened to overcome her were not there, all she had was an ache in her heart as she remembered his words echoing around her head. As she sat there in silence she wondered how she could face him knowing what she did now. She laid her aching head on the bed, and closed her eyes as sleep eventually claimed her.
To be Continued.