[written by Zakuro]

1. Throw your cell phone at him and say "Bitch. I have the replacement plan"
2. Ask him what color underwear you wear
3. Ask him what color underwear Shizu-chan uses
4. Tell him your life story
5. Stomp on his cell phone and say "Betcha wish you had the replacement plan like mwah"
6. Buy him a tutu for Christmas and tell him it's from Shizu-chan
7. Try to convince him that his info on you is incorrect
8. Ask him why he broke up with Masaomi
9. Bring him a bouquet of flowers and business card for a suicide hotline and say "I hope you can pull through"
10. Count to 100 in his office while hes working
him why he always wears outdated 80s Eskimo attire, even in the summer
12. Try to pull out his switch blade from his pocket PS avoid cutting your fingers off
13. Pet his coat and say "Pretty squirrel"
14. Ask him if he's married to Namie because of all the rings he has
15. Then ask him to marry you
16. Then ask for a divorce even if he said no
17. beg him to play his board game with you
18. In the middle of a conversation break out into song (Preferably ponponpon)
19. Tell him that you painted his invisible motorcycle pink before walking all around his office saying "Vrmvrmvrm"
20. Dye his fur jacket pink
21. Blame it on Shizu-chan
22. Ask him to do your homework
23. Throw a get out of jail free card at him if he says you owe him money
24. Try to convince him that hes dead and you're an angel
25. Ask him to teach you how to dance
26. Replace his board game with 'candy land'
27. Go on the chat site as Kanra and talk about your undying love for pancakes
28. Tell him a bed time story about the info broker who married the man who hated violence
29. Hot glue googly eyes on Celty's head
30. Sing 'the wheels on the bus go round and round' really loud while hes on the phone

31. Replace all his switchblades with rubber ducks
32. Tell him there's a creepy guy that wants to date one of his sisters and if he asks questions tell him he has to pay you 2 Eskimo jackets per question
33. Ask him what brand of makeup he uses
34. Ask him what cup size Celty uses
35. If he actually answers say "Ya of course you would know"
36. Spray him with a water bottle and say "Bad"
37. Send him a fake letter from Planned parenting giving him his 'results'
38. Send him a fake love letter from Shizu-chan
39. In mid-sentence yell "OO A SQUIRREL" and pet his jacket
40. Tap on the glass of Celty's head and say "Pretty Fishy"
41. Drop a vase of water and shout "Oh not Celty's head!"
42. drop a bible on his doorstep
43. Copy everything he says or does
44. Offer to play chess with him and put your hand up and shout "Hand of god always wins" And knock all of the pieces off the board game, even if he doesn't want to play
45. Dance around his office randomly
46. While hes giving information to one of his costumers, walk in his office with a bag of popcorn and eat really loudly enjoying the film
47. Talk gibberish to him
48. Burst out in laughter if he tells you to shut up
49. Draw a big smiley face in permanent ink on one of his important documents
50. Spin around in his spinny chair and say "Oops, I think I broke it"
51. Buy him a new chair- a thinking chair like the one in blues clues!
52. Give him singing lessons even if you don't even know the basics
53. Replace all his clothes with leather attire
54. unplug his computer
55. Say desu at the end of every sentence
56. Buy him a ton of board games and say they're for his 'collection'
57. Refer him to a counselor
58. Replace Celty's head with a mannequin head
59. Leave a gift basket on his doorstep and leave a tag that says 'from Shizu-chan'
60. Ask him how many strands of hair you have