A/N: Third part on my Goryeo Chronicles series! For more details about this series, check my bio ;)
Goryeo, 973
"Will Bo Hwa join us tonight?" Kyung Sook inquires, walking next to Yeon Hwa.
The queen considers for a moment. "She will likely not. She said something earlier about finishing up and important scrolls. Your father will let her have her way, for sure."
The princess smiles. "Certainly. And Eun Soo?"
"I sent word to Court Lady Han. She will escort her there once her last lesson is over," she explains, and then motions for the younger woman to walk faster. "Here, he is already waiting for us."
After that, they walk in companionable silence, making their way through the hallways, their retinue trailing behind, towards the king's dinning chamber. This very path, that had once filled Yeon Hwa with so much dread and conflictive longing, had now become a familiar occurrence.
These days, more often than she had ever thought possible, the unlikely family gathered for dinner. Yeon Hwa had always dined with her son and her first daughter in her rooms, during those years when So could not be bothered to meet with any of them, much less spend the evening together. It became Yeon Hwa's favorite part of the day, to spend time with her children in this manner.
As years went by, when So began to show care towards the girls, he also began to show an interest in such gatherings. He approached them more often, and after time he resorted to invite them and, somehow, even Yeon Hwa herself over to his palace.
At first, he only wanted to share a cup of tea and inquire about his daughters' doings. On those occasions, Yeon Hwa opted to remain silent and watch them. Later on, these short visits expanded to full meals, and eventually to invitations for dinner. By the time their third daughter was born, they had fallen into a somewhat frequent habit of dinning together.
Earlier in their marriage, both Yeon Hwa and So had shared the table in relative comfort, managing to put their anxiety, resentment and other harsh feelings to the side little by little, if only for that short moment. But having their children around them made for an oddly and initially very uncomfortably domestic scene that neither had been too sure about.
Now, however, the royal family gathered in a salon has become a much less unusual sight for everyone within the palace, she muses, slightly pursing her lips. She preferred not to think too much on how her son was rarely a part of that sight.
Servants and court ladies bow low as Yeon Hwa and her daughter walk up to the open double doors and go through them. Inside, already seated at the round table, the king nods at their arrival.
"Your Majesty," they bow in synchrony. "Do forgive our tardiness, did you wait very long?" Yeon Hwa graciously inquires, out of habit.
"Queen, Kyung Sook," he acknowledges. "Not too long, but if you are here let us begin. I am hungrier than I would like to admit, and the day was tiring enough," he elaborates, equally from habit and for show, since the servants are still arranging the table and the dishes.
"You Majesty," his manservant calls softly at his side. "Everything has been disposed."
"I see," So replies dryly. "Thank you. You may leave."
The servant bows and makes his exit, along with everyone else, and the doors close. They are left alone in the candle lit room, the evening steadily falling over the palace, painting everything a dark gray.
They seat themselves, Yeon Hwa facing her husband, Kyung Sook between them. The menu for the evening seems to be a wide array of fish dishes, a nice smelling soup served in small bowls and a fragrant pot at the center. Kyung Sook reaches for it and pours the scented tea, filling So's cup first and then Yeon Hwa's. In turn, Yeon Hwa takes the pot from the girl's hands and fills hers.
"I have not seen you much lately," So comments suddenly, a while into the meal. He looks at their daughter. "They said you were kept busy with writing these days?"
Kyung Sook looks up and slightly bows her head. "I was, Your Majesty. I completed several pages."
"That is good." He nods. "Will you let me read them some time?"
"Of course, Your Majesty."
"Hey, enough of that." He speaks up, though his voice is devoid of anger, his features not hardened. "You know that when we are like this I am just father."
"I will keep it in mind, Your Majesty." She answers innocently, sending Yeon Hwa a brief smile. Yeon Hwa smiles back.
So clicks his tongue and shakes his head in feigned disapproval, but Yeon Hwa sees his troubled expression.
Their daughters were So's girls now, all three of them. But Kyung Sook was her daughter. She had been born when their nonexistent relationship was the same it had been since the beginning. He barely showed up that night: just long enough to acknowledge the royal birth, surely at his courtiers' petition, and create her a princess the next day.
Yeon Hwa had raised her and Ju. At first, she had been half-tempted not to. She already had a strong prince, who would be So's heir and would help her position. But in the same way her firstborn had shaken her, having a daughter of her own filled her with an odd satisfaction, and she eventually gave her best to educate and care for the girl.
For the longest time – or at least that's how it had felt – the Queen of Goryeo was rarely seen without the boyishly grave Crown Prince and the pretty young Princess by her side.
Now So makes somewhat continuous efforts to approach his son and heir, and Kyung Sook is the best and most beautiful young woman of Goryeo in his eyes – probably along with that girl…
She briefly closes her eyes to dismiss the thought. It did not matter anymore.
"Bo Hwa might not be accompanying us, Your Majesty," she says, as she passes him a platter of vegetables near her.
"I know." With his chopsticks, he fills his own bowl and she returns the platter to its place. "I went by earlier. It is the first time I see her so focused on something since the death of that animal, so I let her be."
Kyung Sook nods sympathetically. "Pets are like family, at some point." She looks at So. "If Your Majesty allows it, I thought that for the next coming of the merchants I would take her to choose one of the kittens they usually bring with them, as a birthday gift."
"Why would I not allow it?" he raises an eyebrow as he eats.
She looks like she wishes to say something, but instead closes her mouth. "No reason, Your Majesty." She reaches for a piece of meat with her chopsticks and eats quietly.
So lets out a breath. Then he looks at Yeon Hwa. "Send someone by to see that she eats well."
Yeon Hwa bows her head, and briefly calls one of her ladies in to send her on the task.
"Your Majesty…"
"Father," So cuts in, before lifting his gaze. "Yes?"
Kyung Sook blinks once, but then smiles, a bit sheepishly, and nods. "Forgive me. I was wondering if your last days have been too tiring? Your eyes look heavy."
Yeon Hwa turns her attention back to her food. Despite his efforts, and the fact that his eldest daughter is highly doted on nowadays, he cannot just erase years of neglection. And the past and the conflicts were always made evident in the way Kyung Sook ever addressed Yeon Hwa as her mother, regardless of the situation, yet could not shake the habit of calling So Your Majesty even in the most private and familiar of settings, and despite So's incessant requesting.
Not so for their younger daughters, who had grown up largely under the constant presence and figure of their father, particularly their youngest.
"Not so tiring that I feel ill." He says, clearly measuring his words. "Last weeks were hard, but I am fine now. Good sleep and a warm bath tonight should fix everything."
Wordlessly, Kyung Sook reaches again for the pot and pours more of the warm liquid on his cup. He offers her a smile and drinks it.
"Your Majesty," someone calls outside. "The princess has arrived."
"Let her in." He answers briefly.
The double doors swing open and a young raven-haired girl dashes across the room, followed by a mortified sigh, and flings herself towards So.
"Father!" she beams.
"Eun Soo." Dropping all formalities, even before the doors have completely closed again, he stretches out his arms and smiles as he holds her close.
"Mother! Older sister!" She then beams in their direction, once So has released her and helped her to a chair. Kyung Sook stifles a laugh and looks lovingly at the young girl. Yeon Hwa lightly clears her throat.
"Princess," she states simply, and the girl knows at once that it is her cue to sit up straight and smile sedately. She fails at the later as another grin spreads through her face. This time, Kyung Sook does let out a small laugh.
"I am sorry, Mother," Eun Soo apologizes, sweetly. Yeon Hwa wants to say something, but instead sighs and tucks an undignified loose strand of hair behind the girl's ear.
"Here," So takes the teapot and pours her a cup himself, also drawing her bowl close to serve her from all the dishes around him. During these dinners, he ordered everyone from the room, even the few servants who usually stood at the corner to pick up empty platters or fetch things. Everyone had to wait outside until they were finished and he bade them open the doors.
"Did you have your hair fixed before you came?" Yeon Hwa inquires, eyeing some of the crooked flowery pins in her small headdress and other loose strands.
"Court Lady Han called in the maids after they cleared my books." She lifts her utensils and digs into the bowl. "But I was hungry and bored, so I said I wanted to come before they did anything." A few grains of rice can be seen between her teeth as she speaks
"Eun Soo…" Yeon Hwa admonishes.
"Don't worry. You eat." So rules without looking up. Yeon Hwa takes a deep breath and simply tucks another of her daughters' unruly hairs.
They resume their meal.
"How are your lessons going?" So asks the girl.
She beams again. "Very good! Today Lady Seok showed me a book of songs and stories, and I read some of them with the last characters I learned."
"What kind of stories?"
Eun Soo smiles at her sister. "Mostly about kings and queens and pretty princesses." So chuckles.
"Like yourself, young lady?" He teases. The girl can only grin and laugh.
"Also love stories!" She then says. "There is an interesting story about the lone lady. Do you know it, sister?"
"I have heard it." Kyung Sook says, a bit curtly.
"Indeed?" So says, minding his food.
"Yes!" Eun Soo speaks up. "It is about a rich lady whose husband was never home and they only met some nights, when they dine together." Unconsciously, Yeon Hwa's grip on her spoon tenses.
"Even so," Eun Soo continues, oblivious, "they love each other so much that when he must leave for war he tells her to return to her family to be happy, but she tells him she wants to stay, because she does not mind waiting for him and being alone."
So smirks. "The lone lady…"
"She was always alone, and the people of the town began to call her that." Eun Soo says. "But they knew it was not because she wasn't loved, but because she loved her husband a lot. It is a longer story than others, but I could read it all!"
"Good job," So compliments warmly.
The girl laughs in delight at the words. There is a moment's silence.
"Father," she calls after a while. So hums in response, drinking from his cup.
"You and mother are in love like that, are you not?"
It takes all of Yeon Hwa's self-control and years of queenly acting not to stop her motion or raise her eyes, and nonchalantly continue to take the spoonful of hot soup to her lips.
She can tell it is not the same for So. He audibly forces the rest of the liquid down and clears his throat.
"Even though you are alone sometimes, you still are in love, right?"
He hesitates, before clearing his throat again and stressing a smile.
"Of course we are-"
"We are not." Yeon Hwa does not look up as she stirs the soup and eats. All other sounds suddenly stop. She can only listen to her own spoon against the bowl.
"Love in tales is a pretty thing, dear." She says calmly, still not looking at the girl. "But it is not always like that in the real world."
There is silence again.
"M-mother?" Eun Soo finally utters, surprise in her tone.
"Love is hard to find," Yeon Hwa goes on, wiping her mouth with the napkin, "much harder to keep, and more trouble than it is worth. In our position, it is even harder, and is not indispensable. Your father and I do not have it, for instance."
"But you are married!"
"That has nothing to do with love." Kyung Sook shifts uncomfortably on her seat. Even as she says them, the painfully true words taste bitter in Yeon Hwa's mouth. She finally looks up, to see her youngest daughter's wide eyes, her previously clapping hands slowly falling to the table.
"But you–"
She does her best to smile, in the sedate, courtly manner she tries so hard to teach the girl. "We married because it was needed, and because it was the best for everyone. Sometimes, things need to be like that. You will understand that in due time."
Picking her spoon back up, she rules, "Lady Seok will be more careful with the stories. Now eat your dinner."
Once she recovers movement, the usually talkative girl can only nod her head, and hesitantly pick at her food.
Yeon Hwa feels So's icy stare from across the table, but does not spare him a glance and goes back to her own meal, as though nothing has happened. The thick atmosphere and uncomfortable silence stretch out for a couple minutes.
Next to her, Kyung Sook, who had remained silent for a long while, sighs softly before recovering her smile and taking matters into her own hands.
"Eun Soo," she calls, making the deflated girl look up, "pretty princesses do not only know about love stories. If I remember correctly, there is another poem you must have learned these days, before you could read the first part of that story."
Eun Soo's face brightens. "Yes! Two long poems! I learned them very well. Lady Seok praised me."
"I would love to listen to them. Bo Hwa would like it, too. How about you recite for us later?"
Eun Soo's eyes wonder towards Yeon Hwa. "I don't know..."
"It should not take long, and you can be in bed at your usual time." Yeon Hwa was grateful for her daughter's help. There is silence when she speaks, and Eun Soo is looking at her with uncertainty.
"Your sister is right," she adds in a softer way. "It is very good for you to practice with an actual audience, however small. I have heard you recite in your lessons. You are already good, but it will give you confidence, and you will become even better."
Apparently forgetting the earlier words, her youngest daughter nods strongly, "Yes Mother! I will work hard!" and resumes eating with restored cheer, smiling at them both and exchanging excited words with her sister.
Dinner continues, mostly in a quiet manner, with occasional small talk between So and the girls. When they are finished, So calls the servants back in and they begin to clear things away. He wipes his hands on the napkin and looks at Yeon Hwa.
"Will you give me a moment, Queen." He mostly states, something very akin to anger and annoyance in his eyes. She smiles equally.
"You need not ask, Your Majesty." She turns to the young girl. "If you are done you may leave. Go get ready for your small presentation."
She nods vigorously, but a discreet cough from the side of the room, where the newly-arrived ladies stand in line, makes her slowly rise from the chair and carefully bow her head, folding her hands in front her.
"I take my leave." With some stiffness, she rotates her small frame on So's direction and repeats the motion. He manages to chuckle at the image, and grants with a short nod.
"I shall take mine as well, and leave you to your business." In a similar, yet light and gracious manner, Kyung Sook bows at them both and exits the room along Eun Soo, their ladies falling in step behind them.
So gestures at his servant, and the remaining people empty the room, closing the door behind them. He keeps his eyes on the near wall. She sits still, unfazed.
"Why did you do it?" He curtly asks.
"What is the point in lying about such things to one's own child?" She answers in the same way. "If Your Majesty intended to lie even when she asked directly, as it seems to be the case, then I apologize for failing to follow your idea."
"Even so!" He pounds his fist on the table. "No matter how true it is, you didn't have to do that. You didn't have to speak like that to her."
She fights the urge to snort. "How exactly did I speak?"
"She is only a child!"
"No child of mine will grow up believing in love." They are both nearly screaming at this point. She breathes out and lowers back her voice. "Not being what they are. Not after the life I – in fact, not after the lives we have had ourselves."
"Despite all of that she is still a child!" There is a tripping sound outside. So glares at the door, but he sits back and lowers his voice as well. "You cannot expect her to think of any of this yet. I am going to deal with whatever happens in the future. You just let her live her fantasies and have dreams."
"Fantasies?" Her blood begins to boil. She appreciates So wanting to act like a father after all these years, but he still holds on to his hopeless ideas. To Hae Soo's hopeless ideas. "My own fantasies were dispelled a bit too late when I was young."
"What has that to do–"
"When I thought of things that were not true, but that I liked." She cut him off. "When I already dreamed of love but loathed the idea of marriage, of what my marriage was going to be. As though I were not a princess, but I was. I always was, and nothing was going to change that. I had to wake up then."
He says nothing, only stares at her. She stares back. "I am awake now, the same way you are, Your Majesty. But was it easy?" He frowns. "Did you not suffer because of it? Have we all not suffered because of it?"
She realizes her voice is up again. She clenches her teeth, but she smiles. "I would rather dispel my daughter's fantasies now, when I can, than have her go through the same. Is that such a terrible thing to do, as a mother, Your Majesty?"
He does not answer. She sees it in his eyes: he has no way of denying anything she said.
And he hates it.
"Let us talk no more of this." He says at last, and rises.
"Indeed." She becomes a queen again. She rises as well, and walking up to him, she bows her head. "You will pardon my leaving without your consent, if you intend not to give it, but this does none of us any good."
"How could I stop you?" The sarcasm, the cold mocking she has not heard in a while was back. "When you spoke nothing but the truth, Queen, both now and to Eun Soo." He chuckles darkly. "You are right. Why would I lie so blatantly to her?"
Yeon Hwa does not look at him. "I am glad to see we think alike."
"Indeed," he says, and takes a step towards her. "And, thinking it over, it is a good thing that you did. I must have had a moment of madness to even think of saying such a thing."
Yeon Hwa holds back a smile, and instead lifts an eyebrow as she looks at him. "Am I meant to disagree or…?"
His mirth vanishes and he glares at her. But she holds his gaze, with much anger of her own. She knew they were never going to be past this. But, by now, all she wants from him as a husband is the sort of peace they have had for the last years. Seconds drag on as they stand there, glaring at each other. Abruptly, he looks away and walks off. He throws the door to his quarters open and leaves, without a word.
She returns to her chair and sits up straight.
"Is someone there?" She calls. The main doors open and Lady Hwang hurries in.
She looks around. "Your Highness…?"
"His Majesty was restless and took his leave first." She says steadily. "I am very tired as well. I shall retire for the night."
"Yes, Your Highness." The woman bows. Yeon Hwa stands again and leaves the place. Her ladies are waiting by the steps, and are quick to follow her.
Across the courtyard she spots servants carrying chairs into a room, and a very excited Eun Soo jumping up and down, holding Bo Hwa's hand. The older girl looks like she wants to be anywhere but there, and Kyung Sook is standing to the side, watching them.
"Your Highness," the people at her doors greet in unison when she arrives. She gives a queenly smile. Amid lowered heads, she goes up the few steps and into the Queen's palace.
Thanks for reading :3