This story was my brain child after the idea for a Trans*!Dean fic came across my tumblr dash.
There are no real ships in this fic. It's intended for an older, more mature readership.
After everything John had fought for, after losing his wife, now he was losing his daughter. He'd have to come to terms with the fact that he was gaining a second son. It's not about John, it's about Dean trying to be Dean.
The Fire Down Below
Dean Winchester was not born as Dean, but as Deanna, Winchester. At first glances he appeared to be a happy, healthy baby girl. Until he was old enough to notice the differences between boys and girls, that is. His parents had given his name to him after his maternal Grandmother: Deanna Campbell.
Shortly after his seventh birthday Dean demanded his father, John, buy him boys jeans and sneakers. John refused insisting that Dean was a girl and girls don't wear boys' clothes or sneakers. A girl should wear ballet flats or heels and dresses. Dean hissed before promptly running to his room slamming the door shut behind him.
His younger brother Sam shrugged as he continued to sit on the living room rug playing with his toy truck. To Sam, Dean had always been Dean. For the past six months Dean insisted all his friends stop calling him Deanna. That was a name belonging to someone whom he never identified as or even thought existed.
"This would be so much easier if their mother were still alive," he thought rubbing his hand against his forehead. After everything he had gone through, after everything he had fought for, couldn't Dean make everyone's lives easier and remain the little girl he had been born as? Would that be so much for him to ask for?
The phone calls from parents of Dean's classmates demanding to know he had been running around the neighborhood without a shirt on added fuel to his growing frustration. "That is utterly inappropriate for young ladies to do!" they exclaimed into his ear. John swore up and down he would lay down the law with the young boy.
Yelling across the house, "Deanna Winchester you come here right now!" the boy sheepishly emerged from his room. "You are a girl. Your name is Deanna. You cannot continue running around with your friends without a shirt on. That is not how young ladies behave! That is the way it is and I have had enough!" Tears rolled down Dean's cheek as he stood shaking in front of his father.
Sam hid behind the couch, his hands over his ears, trying not to hear his father yelling at his brother. Dean's eyes darted around the room trying to find Sam. He secretly hoped deep down inside of himself he could be brave and show his little brother just how tough he is. Gritting his teeth, clenching his hands into fists, he spat back at his father. "NO! My name is Dean. I am a boy. I want sneakers and jeans. I want to be like every other boy!"
That stubborn little shit. John pointed to Dean's room and with no words needing be spoken the young boy huffed away into his room. He only re-emerged later that evening to sneak into Sam's bed. Dean had a surefire knack for comforting his brother after fights with his father.
Snatching the bottle of Whiskey off the counter John poured himself a drink before sitting in the reclining chair parked in front of the television. Something had to give, or change, but he didn't know what that something was.