As Jane and Frost pulled up outside Maura's house, the knot in Jane's stomach was growing tighter and tighter. She simply couldn't believe she was about to do this.
She was about to walk up to her best friend's house and arrest her. For murder.
If this didn't qualify as one of the worst days of her life, she didn't know what did.
To make matters worse, Frost kept trying to surreptitiously glance at her out of the corner of his eye, trying to gauge her emotions. She knew Frost and Korsak were worried about her, about how this situation would affect her. But right now, she just wished they could wipe the pitying looks off their faces and DO something to help Maura.
Catching yet another side glance from Frost, Jane sighed. She couldn't put this off any longer.
She climbed from the car and joined her partners as they walked up the drive to Maura's house. With every step, the knot in Jane's stomach pulled tighter.
From her right side, she heard Frost say quietly, "You don't have to do this, you know."
Korsak immediately chimed in, "Yeah, this has gotta be hard for you, Jane. It won't be easy on us either...but at least you wouldn't be the one who arrested her."
Jane really did appreciate the gesture, and she almost took them up on it. But Maura was HER best friend, and Jane wanted her friend to know, even as she was arrested, that someone still cared. That she wasn't alone. Jane would be there every step of the way that she could.
"No, thanks guys," she said in a hoarse voice, "It has to be me. I owe her that much." Korsak sighed, but nodded his understanding, and he and Frost fell in behind Jane as they reached the front steps.
Jane lifted her fist, resting it against her mouth as she worked up the courage to knock. Finally, she rapped several times on the door. It didn't take long for Maura to answer, and she smiled when she saw who her visitor was.
Jane's throat constricted when Maura immediately moved to let her in, like it was any other night and she had come for dinner and a movie. Maura began telling her about her problems getting Bass the tortoise to eat, and Jane reluctantly moved over the threshold of the door.
When Maura straightened from patting Bass on the shell, she noticed the other detectives for the first time. It didn't take long for Maura to piece it all together, and her eyes widened in shock and fear. "Oh no," she whispered, when she realized why Jane was really there.
Jane radiated sympathy and grief as she said, "I'm so sorry..." Then, gathering every ounce of strength she had, Jane forced herself to say the words she had been dreading since this entire ordeal started. "Maura Isles," she choked out, "you are under arrest for the murder of Brad Adams."
Maura stood there, looking from one friend to the next, shock apparent in her body language. Jane wanted to cry at the lost look on her best friend's face. And she wanted nothing more at that moment than to pull Maura into a hug and tell her that everything would be ok. But she couldn't hug Maura right now. And she didn't know that everything would be ok. So instead Jane stood and watched her friend struggle to pull herself together.
After a moment of silence, Jane knew she might have to jolt Maura into some kind of reaction. Taking a hesitant step forward, she said softly, "Maura?"
Maura blinked, shook her head slightly, and muttered, "Shoes. I need to get my shoes."
Jane reached out to touch her arm, stilling her movement toward the bedroom. "It's ok, I'll get them, Maura."
Maura nodded, and Jane walked to the bedroom closet. The first pair of shoes she saw were Maura's running shoes. While those would be the first ones Jane would choose, she knew her friend well enough to picture her normal reaction. Those shoes with this outfit? Instead, Jane reached past the tennis shoes for the comfortable pair of black flats in the next row.
When she came back out to the foyer, Maura was talking softly to Korsak and absently stroking Bass's shell. Jane heard the last of the conversation as she rounded the corner. "He loves British strawberries, but he shouldn't have them more than a couple times a week, or he'll get sick," Maura murmured.
Korsak replied gently, "Don't worry, Doc. I'll take good care of him, you have my word on that."
Maura nodded, and stood up to put on the shoes that Jane handed her. She looked calm, but Jane could see the fear in her eyes. Maura dropped her arms to her sides and asked in a small voice, "What happens now?"
In response, Jane wordlessly pulled her handcuffs from her belt, turning them over a couple times in her hands anxiously. Maura looked at the handcuffs, unconsciously rubbed her wrists, blinked back tears, and nodded. She turned around and placed her hands behind her, trembling slightly.
Jane had never hated herself more than in that moment. She was gentler than she had probably ever been with any suspect, and she squeezed Maura's hand when it was done. Instead of directing her along by the arm, Jane placed a gentle hand on Maura's back to guide her to the car.
Korsak locked the front door behind them, and Frost made sure Maura didn't hit her head when she climbed into the backseat.
At the last minute, Jane decided she wouldn't be able to ride all the way to the jail with Maura handcuffed in the backseat without losing it. She tossed the keys to Frost, who got the message.
Leaning in next to Maura, Jane said, "I'll be in the other car with Korsak. I'll meet you there, I promise." Maura drew a shaky breath and nodded. Jane pulled back before either of them could break down and walked to Korsak's car, brushing tears from her face as soon as she could be sure Maura could no longer see her.