This is just something I came up with after seeing the previews for the 21st episode of Ouran High School Host Club, the Halloween episode. It got me to thinking that, even though in Japan they don't celebrate American Thanksgiving (for obvious reasons), it would still be hilarious to put the characters into that sort of setting ^-^. I mean, at least one thing always goes wrong at Thanksgiving in a "normal" family, so think of all the things that could go wrong in this family.
I don't own Ouran High School Host Club.
"I hope they have cake," Hunny declared once again.
"Hm." Mori and Hunny were walking in the back of the group. The twins were in front of them, muttering with each other and fiddling with their respective cell phones, occasionally holding them above their heads, as if trying to get better cell receptions.
Tamaki and Kyoya were leading them all as they made their way to Haruhi's house. Kyoya was bent over several printouts from the Internet, not having any problem walking and reading at the same time. Or, talking for that matter.
"It's amazing, this thing called 'Black Friday.' It's like a national holiday of its own. So much spending…" he chattered excitedly. Or, rather, as excitedly as he could get. "Computers are starting to play a bigger and bigger role, but the physical stores still put on quite the show, trying to draw in the masses with their exceptional deals…"
Tamaki didn't seem to be paying any attention to his friend, but was instead looking ahead intently, speeding up every now and then only to abruptly slow and almost seem to start to turn around.
When the group was only a block from turning onto her street, the twins spoke up.
"Hey, guys, we can't—"
"—get any calls through to Haruhi—"
"—at all. Could there—"
"—be something wrong?"
Tamaki's head whipped around. "What?"
The Host Club had been cancelled for the past couple of days due to an unexpected extended weekend on the twins' part that they'd just gotten back from and an unexpected visit visit from Tamaki's grandmother. So, no one in the Club had seen Haruhi in school since last Friday. Who knew what could have happened to her without the Host Club to guide her for the past five days?
"We can't find Haruhi," they re-explained in unison, each shrugging one shoulder.
"I should think not," Kyoya muttered, flipping another page in the giant packet of black Friday material he'd printed out.
Abruptly annoyed with his friend, Tamaki tore the material from his hands, shouting, "You're not going to use them anyway!" as he crumpled them up. "What do you mean you don't think the twins should be able to reach Haruhi?" he asked, getting back to the topic at hand.
Kyoya's lips hand thinned dangerously as he looked at what had been his reading material, crushed in Tamaki's hand. Even the rest of the group could hardly believe Tamaki's daring, stupid move.
"Wow… you're dead, Boss," Hikaru finally said. Hunny was nodding his head in the background.
"Yeah, jeez, why'd you do that? What's your problem?" Kaoru asked.
Tamaki's lower lip had begun trembling in contrast to Kyoya's still ever-tightening mouth.
"Haruhi and I had a fiiiiight!" Tamaki finally erupted, whining the last word.
…
All at once, the rest of the group asked, "So?"
"That's not big news," Hikaru informed him. "You two fight on practically a weekly basis, if not daily."
"Yeah, it's not like she's never been mad at you before," Kaoru tacked on. "In fact, it's more out of the ordinary to have her happy with something you've done. You should really be used to this by now."
Both Mori and Hunny were nodding now, and Kyoya's stiff lips had curled ever so slightly on one side in a tense smirk.
"That's not fair!" Tamaki objected. "Haruhi and I get along just fine most of the time."
Kyoya's smirk broadened as the twins snickered to themselves, and Mori had to hide a snort while Hunny looked at Tamaki with wide, pity-filled eyes.
Tamaki turned his back and crossed his arms, hunching his shoulders. "I knew you guys would never understand," he sniffled.
"Haruhi's not going to understand either," Hikaru pointed out.
"Haruhi's not going to get the chance to understand," Kyoya spoke up, albeit in a hard tone of voice. "She's not here."
"Well, of course not, Kyo-chan, she's at home," Hunny said, his pity switching targets.
One of Kyoya's eyebrows twitched. "No. She is not. Haruhi's in America."
His announcement was received with a series of blinks before he was pounced on.
"America…?"
"Huh?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"How do you know where she is?"
"Why didn't she tell me?"
"WAIT!" the twins finally shouted, both of them throwing out their arms to halt the questions bombarding the club's vice president.
"If you know that she's in America—"
"—what was the point of going to see her at home?"
"…We were going to Haruhi's?" Kyoya queried, seeming to actually mean it.
"Well, duh!" they shouted. "Where did you think we were going?"
"I can't say I was paying attention," Kyoya coolly admitted, his eyes wandering to the papers he'd printed out that were still clutched in Tamaki's hand. "I was rather pleasantly distracted."
Clueless to Kyoya's underlying message of consternation, Tamaki began pacing through the midst of the group. They all watched him for a while, waiting for their leader to make a move of some sort, any sort, in response to the new Haruhi-situation.
He finally stopped and turned his yes to Kyoya. "Do you know the details of Haruhi going to America?"
"Most of them," Kyoya answered. "It seems that Ranka was the reason behind the sudden trip, and that the two of them left on Monday and should be returning Saturday or Sunday at the latest."
"Was it a wild hair that caused Ranka to drag Haruhi away from us?" Tamaki asked.
"No, apparently it was planned, but on very short notice. Ranka didn't go into details."
"What are we gonna do, Boss?" Kaoru asked.
Tamaki stood for a moment, deep in thought, before finally giving the command:
"To the airport!"
Haruhi hadn't exactly been expecting the Host Club to be on the other side of the door when she answered it. In fact, she kind of freaked.
"What are you doing here!" she shrieked in surprise.
"We came to see you!" Tamaki squealed back, bouncing up and down in his excitement.
"You followed me?" She was still screaming as she stood in the doorway, refusing to let them pass.
"Well, you hardly gave us a choice!" Tamaki yelled back.
Her jaw was hanging open, as if she really couldn't (and really didn't want to) believe that they were actually there, in front of her.
"Are you going to be letting us in, Haru-chan?" Hunny asked, shivering pathetically in the colder-than-usual November weather. "Please, Haru-chan?"
She couldn't stop gaping in utter shock at the group of boys on her doorstop.
"You're all in America, you guys realize that?" she finally had to ask in confirmation. As stupid as the question was, she had to ask.
Kaoru snapped his fingers and looked to his twin. "That would explain the plane ride!"
Hikaru slapped his palm to his forehead. "My god, you're right, Kaoru! I never would have guessed, not in a million years."
Haruhi snapped back to herself at their sarcasm. "Look, I really need you all to go. Right now. Please."
"That's going to be rather difficult to do," Kyoya spoke up. "Especially considering that we have nowhere else to go."
"Find a hotel," Haruhi offered, panicking a little bit.
"The rooms in this area are all sold out, so that is not an option." Kyoya slipped around Tamaki and began edging his way past Haruhi as well, into the house.
"Seriously, you can't stay here!" Haruhi protested even as Kyoya broke past her and into the hallway.
Hunny was next, sneaking under Haruhi's guard while she was focused on Kyoya. "Sorry, Haru-chan, but it's cold and we did come all this way."
"But, you didn't have to. Why are you here?" she asked again, in an even higher pitch than before.
"We told you—"
"—we came to see you," the twins answered, ducking past her as well, one on either side.
Mori was next, following the rest into the house. Only Tamaki and Haruhi were left out in the cold.
Tamaki smiled. "You have to let me in now."
"No I don't."
Haruhi slammed the door in Tamaki's still-smug face.
"Haruhi, what's going on?" Ranka called from the second floor. The stairs in the house led down to the front foyer where Haruhi was standing. The house they were living in for the week belonged to an American family who, bored with this particular season's range of traditions, were living in the Fujioka's apartment in Japan. The house swap had been spur the moment on both sides, but Haruhi had quickly become accustomed to this house and what it had available. It was a nice house, in her opinion.
What do I tell him? "Uh, Dad… just wait a minute, okay? I'll explain in a little bit," she yelled up to him before taking off after the members of the Host Club that had managed to make their way past her and into the house and ignoring the one member pounding at the front door in a frenzy. She found them in the kitchen, marveling at the piles of food mounded up on every inch of counter space available.
"Wow, Haru-chan… What is all this?" Hunny asked, his eyes wide, trying to take in the massive amounts of edibles.
The twins were both sniffing, their noses high in the air. "What's that delicious smell?" they asked.
"It's turkey, I believe," Kyoya said. "Especially considering what day it is."
"Hmm? What day is that, Kyo-chan?" Hunny asked.
"American Thanksgiving."
"Oooh." Hunny nodded in understanding.
"Is there any other sort of Thanksgiving besides American?" Hikaru asked, a smirk twisting his face.
"Actually," Kaoru began answering, sneering at his twin, "Canada has a Thanksgiving, too."
"How would you know, Kaoru?" Hikaru snapped.
"Don't!" Haruhi spoke up. "Look, I can't have you here."
"Why not?" Kyoya asked. "I'm sure Mr. Kepler won't object to have a few extra people."
"…Why am I surprised you know about him?" Haruhi asked in defeat.
"Know about who?"
"Wait, what?"
"Who's Mr. Kepler?"
Kyoya waited for them all to finish before telling them that Mr. Kepler was, in fact, the man who was offering Ranka a job.
All eyes in the room turned to Haruhi, hurt and accusation playing across most of them.
"It's not like it wasn't any of your guy's business, you know," she grumbled.
She could see the twins getting ready to argue against that vehemently in place of their blonde leader, still locked out on the front doorstep, but Hunny got to her first, not in the way she expected.
"It seems rather rude of him to demand to meet your father on a holiday." A slight frown furrowed between his eyebrows. "It might not be one of our holidays, but it still is one."
"Well, we are sort of celebrating it, despite the interview," she said, indicating the food around them. "Look, I need to go and explain to my father that you're here, so, please, don't touch anything, and just… chill for a bit. I'll be right back."
"We'll be here!" the twins called after her as she left.
The conversation with her father as he put on his makeup went much better than Haruhi had been expecting. He'd definitely seemed surprised to hear about the pack of boys that had unexpectedly shown up on their doorstep. But, he'd agreed to let them stay. Frankly, Haruhi, having noticed his twitching hands as he'd applied his eyeliner, believed that her father was stressed out enough by Mr. Kepler's looming arrival that getting upset about anything else would cause him to go into meltdown phase. So, he was just going to go along with it like it was okay, and Haruhi, for his sake, was going to do her best to do that as well.
She couldn't bring herself to open the door for Tamaki when she walked downstairs again, but she did try to give Kyoya a smile when she found him in the living room.
"My father says it's all right if you guys are here. Just don't cause him any trouble when Mr. Kepler gets here, got it?"
"Oh, good. And, don't worry, I'll behave."
Haruhi's eyes narrowed. It wasn't necessarily Kyoya that she was worried about. But, before she could comment on that, Kyoya suddenly declared, "I'm going shopping."
"Pardon?" Haruhi asked, confused.
"I ordered a cab and found the addresses of several stores nearby that should have what is needed for a Thanksgiving feast," Kyoya explained.
"But, I already have everything," Haruhi objected.
"You don't have nearly enough for all of us."
"Well, I wasn't expecting you lot to show up, now was I?" Haruhi gritted out, trying to make her point again.
"Exactly," Kyoya agreed, as if he were talking to a simpleton. "That would be why I'm going out to buy more. I'll be back in an hour or so."
Sighing in defeat, Haruhi asked, "Try to make it back sooner than that. The meal should be ready about noon. And, don't buy a turkey. There won't be enough time to cook it."
She had no clue if any of her words were actually absorbed as Kyoya was already heading towards the door and didn't show any signs of hearing her.
Tamaki snuck in as Kyoya left.
"Haruhi, how could you just leave me out there?" he scolded once he caught up with her.
"Pretty easily by the looks of it," Hikaru commented.
"I know I wouldn't have any problem doing it," Kaoru said, a wistful smile making its way across his face.
"Haruhi!" Hunny came bounding up to her. "Can we help you with the cooking? I've never done anything like this before. It looks fun! Right, Takashi?"
"Yeah."
"So, can we help?" Hunny's giant brown eyes stared up at her beseechingly.
"Uh, sure," Haruhi gave in. "Maybe you and Mori-sempai could watch the pies for me? They're in the oven right now."
"Okay! We can do that. Come on, Takashi." Hunny hustled over to the oven, snagging his cousin on the way.
The twins jumped up. "What can we do? What can we do?" they chanted eagerly.
"Let's see… you could baste the turkey, maybe?"
The twins looked at each other, obviously having no clue what that meant.
"Come on, I'll show you." Haruhi wearily lead the way to a room off the kitchen where a large roaster was nearly finished cooking the giant birdy. Though, in comparison to the other turkeys at the store, it was rather small, only meant to be feeding three people, and would in no way feed everyone who was going to be present at the meal today.
She showed them how to baste the turkey and watch the pop-up thermometer in case the turkey should get done while she was off doing something else.
Tamaki was waiting for her when she got back. "And, what do I do?"
"You… just keep watch while I go change."
Haruhi just needed a moment to herself. Really, really needed it.
Tamaki ended up walking through the house, having become exceedingly bored with just watching Hunny and Mori watching the pies and Hikaru and Kaoru watching the turkey. So, he wandered and ended up at the bottom of the stairs, looking into the living room, when he saw Haruhi enter the room, dressed in a knee-length, bright orange dress with short, puff sleeves and matching little orange bows in her hair.
Tamaki was completely enamored in an instant.
"Oh, Haruhi! You look like an adorable little pumpkin!" Tamaki declared, throwing his hands into the air.
A moment later, he was face-down on the floor, one of Ranka's high heels planted firmly on his head.
"Yes, Haruhi, darling, you look absolutely radiant," her father reaffirmed, ignoring the struggling president of the Host Club beneath his shoe.
"Uh, thanks, Dad," Haruhi replied, tugging slightly on one of the miniature orange bows in her hair as she walked into the foyer.
"And, look," her father started, tugging her over to him so they were both standing on Tamaki. "We match, ahahaha! I originally thought that we should dress you in red, since green and red are so complementary, but then we'd be decked out in Christmas colors, and we're about a month early for that, so, I thought, orange was close enough. Didn't I hear someone mention you looking like a pumpkin?"
"I said that," Tamaki wheezed out from under their weight. All he got as acknowledgement was another heel to the head. "Gah!"
"Well, you can be the pumpkin, and I can be the vine! Isn't it grand?" Ranka smiled down at his daughter, his freakish exuberance radiating out from under the makeup.
"Yeah. Sure, Dad," Haruhi offered a little uncertainly.
"Oh, I'm so glad you agree!" Ranka gasped suddenly in revelation. "You and I could dress alike more often."
"Uh…"
"Haru-chan, it looks like the deserts are ready!" Hunny called from the kitchen.
Oh, thank God. I don't know if I've ever been happier to hear Hunny-sempai's voice in my life, Haruhi thought to herself, breathing a sigh of relief.
"Okay, just let me come and check!" she called back. "I'll be back in a minute, Dad."
"Take your time, my little pumpkin," Ranka sing-songed as his daughter walked away.
"But, she's my little pumpkin!" Tamaki argued, voice muffled as his face was pressed even more firmly into the floor.
"Ah!" was all Haruhi could finally exclaim five minutes later after she came into the kitchen to view the pies... or, rather, what were supposed to be pies.
"I told you it wasn't supposed to smoke like that," Mori blankly commented to Hunny.
"Well, how were we really supposed to know? I've never cooked before, have you?" Hunny asked, wide eyes looking up at his cousin.
"No."
"See? It's not like we can be blamed."
Haruhi looked over the charred messes that the pumpkin pies had become, smoke still drifting off of them. Sighing, she revised her battle-plan, again.
"I guess I'll just call Kyoya and ask if he could pick up a few extra pies," she mumbled, rubbing a hand against her cheek.
"No need to call," a voice said from the open kitchen doorway. Turning around, there was Kyoya, a bag of groceries in each hand.
"Kyoya, I'm sorry to bother you with this, but could you maybe go back and buy about three or four more pumpkin pies?" If there are any left.
"As I said, there's no need to." He stepped aside, and in walked Tamaki (Haruhi wondered how he'd managed to escape her father while she'd been checking the pies), his face and torso hidden by the tower of stacked frozen pies he was carrying. "They were such a bargain, and I figured that, considering our number, our lack of experience with "pie," and Hunny-sempai's voracious appetite for anything sweet, it would be best to stock up a little."
Tamaki set the tower of frozen pies down on the little free counter space that was left. Several of the topmost boxes wavered and almost fell into the water-filled pot meant for the potatoes; Haruhi caught them just in time.
"Great thinking, Kyoya," Tamaki said, blatantly unaware of Haruhi's heroic efforts on behalf of the pies. "As well as in regards to the rest of the food."
Haruhi blinked a couple of times. "There's more?"
"Why, yes," Kyoya responded, straightening his glasses. "No offense to your culinary skills, but I figured since this was your first time concocting a Thanksgiving feast, and since you were allowing people like Tamaki and the twins to help you, it might be wise to get a few extras of everything. Now," Kyoya suddenly got serious and in-command, "I'm going to need everyone but Ranka's and Haruhi's help unloading the cab, so let's hop to it."
"Yes, sir, Kyo-chan," Hunny delightedly cried out, giving him a mock-salute before dragging Mori out the door with him.
Tamaki sighed. "All in a day's work here, I suppose," he said before trudging off after the third-years.
"Aw, do we have to?" the twins groaned from the side-room where they were "keeping an eye" on the turkey. Haruhi hoped Kyoya had gotten a second one just in case.
"If I have to, you two have to!" Tamaki shouted at them, whirling around in the door frame. "Come on, it's our duty as gentlemen to do the heavy lifting for the ladies of the house."
"Huh, I suppose Ranka—"
"—could be considered a lady."
"Alright, then—"
"—we'll help."
"Thanks, guys," Haruhi said as they walked over to the door and Tamaki. They both smiled at her.
"It's our—"
"—pleasure."
"It is not!" Tamaki cried incredulously. "You didn't even want to until I made you!"
Tamaki continued shouting at them as they left the house and went to the "trucks." Hunny and Mori were already bringing their first loads in. They looked like more pies.
"You were able to find all that out while you were gone?" Haruhi questioned Kyoya, who was still in the room, taking several pies off the top of the secondary stack she'd made of the tumblers and proceeding to tear them open.
"Oh, yes. The young ladies who worked there were very helpful. I was able to finish the shopping in less than half the time I had estimated." Kyoya nodded to himself as Hunny and Mori bustled past again, though Haruhi noticed that, despite what he said about everyone but herself and her father needing to lend a hand, he didn't make a move to go after them.
If he'd tried to be nice at all, he could have gotten those girls to do cartwheels. As it is, he probably just stood there and directed them about the store, and they followed happily enough because he's handsome… and rich.
"Hey." A thought suddenly came to Haruhi. "Is any of this going to be added onto my debt to the Club?"
Kyoya smiled mysteriously. "That would depend on how well this Thanksgiving experience goes and whether it can add to the fullness of experience that the Host Club has to offer. If all goes well, then, no, none of this will cost you a thing."
Haruhi gulped. She knew that look in Kyoya's eye."And, if it doesn't go well…?"
"Then, that vase you initially broke is going to seem like a mere drop in the pond that is your debt. Plane tickets are expensive nowadays, you know."
Haruhi's jaw dropped for a moment. "But, hey! I didn't ask you lot to follow me here; you guys did that on your own. How can I be held responsible for that?"
Tamaki was just walking in the door with the twins behind him when she said that. He dropped his bags of whatever it was he was carrying (Haruhi prayed they weren't more pies; they had enough to survive through Armageddon at this point) and his eyes welled-up with tears. "D-does that m-mean you didn't w-want us to c-come here, Haruhi?" he asked tearfully.
"Yes!" she shouted. "That's exactly what I mean! You should have just stayed back home and continued on with the Host Club! I would have been back soon enough. It's not like you had to come tramping across half the world to come find me; I was only going to be gone a week!"
The doorbell rang, cutting off the argument.
"Oh, that'll be Mr. Kepler!" they heard Ranka twitter nervously from the dining room. He came to stand, jittering, in the doorway to the kitchen. "Haruhi, darling, how do I look? Do I look okay? Maybe I should put on some more makeup!"
"No, Dad, you don't need any more makeup," Haruhi quickly reassured. "You look fine. Just go and greet Mr. Kepler before he gets impatient standing at the door."
"Oh, you're right, my little pumpkin. Wish me luck!"
"Luck!" Haruhi wished as her father briskly danced off to the front of the house to greet his possible employer.
"…Does Mr. Kepler know you father's a cross dresser, Haruhi?" Kyoya suddenly asked out-of the-blue.
Haruhi's eyes went wide and she slowly turned to look at him, the fear dawning. "Oh, gods. Wait, Dad!" Haruhi spun around and ran to beat her father to the door, Tamaki and the rest of the club on her heels.
"Dad!" she called, just as she heard the front door opening.
"Mr. Kepler, hello! Please, come in!" they head Ranka greet.
"Too late!" the twins whisper-shouted, coming to a halt, causing Hunny and Mori to crash into them from behind, and all four of them to fall to the floor in a giant heap of teenage boy.
Tamaki and Kyoya followed Haruhi to the hallway, where Ranka was welcoming a fairly tall man with a mop of brown hair, a bit of a paunch, and a semi-expensive looking gray suit on. He was shrugging off his coat, and the expression on his face was one of… acceptance and perhaps a little excitement.
But… Ranka was quite good when it came to his little hobby of dressing as a woman. Mr. Kepler might just be falling for Ranka's guise.
"Thank you. I'm so glad that you came so far for this interview, Mr. Fujioka," Mr. Kepler said, sincerity pouring out of every word.
Haruhi sighed and nearly fell over under the weight of the relief she felt at Mr. Kepler already knowing about her father's "habit." Taking a moment to smooth her dress and take a deep gulp of air, Haruhi stepped forward and addressed Mr. Kepler. "Excuse me, sir, but may I take your coat?"
"Ah, Haruhi! This is my daughter, my sweet, little Haruhi," Ranka cooed. "Yes, dear, take the man's coat!"
Mr. Kepler offered her a smile. "It's nice to meet you, Haruhi."
"And, you, sir. I did a report on the American Thanksgiving a few years ago, and I always thought it would be a fascinating holiday to celebrate, at least once. So, I'm glad we got the chance to be here and do this."
"I didn't know that," Tamaki hissed in Kyoya's ear. "Did you know that?"
Kyoya shook his head. He'd stopped Tamaki from following Haruhi all the way into the entranceway, just barely, and no the two stood in the background, watching with interest how this interaction was going to play out.
"I'm afraid we're going to have more people than just the three of us…" Haruhi began explaining, doing her best to hide her wince.
"Oh, don't worry about it," Mr. Kepler dismissed. "When I heard your father as bringing you along, I was worried you might get bored while we talked business. At least you will have someone to talk with."
Haruhi tried and failed to hide her grimace.
"Oh, what a wonderful man you are!" Ranka declared. "Haruhi, go and tell those boys to behave now that are guest has arrived."
Haruhi turned to go just as Mr. Kepler asked, "Might I bother to find out when dinner is?"
"I'm sure it will be ready whenever you are," Ranka said gleefully.
"If that's the case, I should warn you that I did just snag a bite to eat before coming here, so I may not be hungry for a while."
Haruhi froze mid-step and slowly looked over her shoulder. "You… already ate?" she asked, conscious of the turkey in the back room not more than ten minutes from being done.
"Yes, I hope you don't mind." Mr. Kepler smiled apologetically.
"Not at all. I'm sure it's no problem, right, Haruhi?"
"…"
"We'll have time to cook the turkey I bought," Kyoya spoke up, grabbing everyone's attention.
"Oh, perfect!" Ranka shouted. "Let's do it like that."
"Yeah… Let's… do it… like that," Haruhi "agreed."
The next several hours were spent with Haruhi doing her best to keep the Host Club busy and away from her father and Mr. Kepler. The twins were assigned to watching and basting the new 20-lb turkey that was big enough for everyone and wouldn't be done until seven o'clock that night. Hunny, carefully supervised by Mori, was once again put in charge of the pies (they were better after they sat for a while), this time with carefully laid out instructions and warning signs. Kyoya was given reign over the house's computer; as far as Haruhi could tell, he was looking up Black Friday deals and making marks of some sort in the ledger he'd brought with him from back home.
They all were doing well. Tamaki was the only problem. At first, Haruhi had just thought to let him have a little free reign. But, the first place he scuttled off to was outside the living room door where Ranka and Mr. Kepler were discussing the job offer that had brought the Fujioka family so far. After getting suspicious of what on earth could have kept Tamaki quiet and out of the way for so long, she had found and dragged him back to the kitchen by his ear.
Then, she had put him to work with the potatoes, skinning most of the bag's contents. But, when he almost ended up shearing off a finger, Haruhi instead told him to put the squash in the oven. She ended up having to remove them before they exploded after realizing that Tamaki wouldn't know that he needed to poke holes in them to allow the steam to escape. After that, he was assigned to watch the turkey with the twins. They nearly sent the turkey roaster crashing to the ground after getting into an argument over who was eventually going to carve the bird. Finally, Haruhi just asked him to set the table and dealt with his flak over not having the correct number of forks and the lack of silk napkins.
And, even all of that only took a little over an hour, leaving six hours for the group to kill, with Hikaru and Kaoru periodically getting up to check on the turkey. But, pass it they did, mostly by watching the National Dog Show and various premature Christmas specials on the television in the den, and, finally, Ranka and Mr. Kepler emerged from the living room and announced they were ready for dinner.
Several quiet groans and sighs of relief went up around the room and Haruhi pulled herself from the over-stuffed seat she'd been sitting in. The turkey was done, the fixings were prepared, the table was set, and the people were ready to eat. It had taken forever, but things were going just as they were supposed to.
Everyone else began migrating towards the dining room table. Tamaki and the twins once again began bickering with each other over who was going to carve the turkey. Ranka broke in, saying that he was going to do it, then, Haruhi showed up, bearing a platter of already carved turkey meat.
"Haruhi, you took all the fun out of it," Ranka whined good-naturedly. Clapping his hands, he quickly banished any hints at ill feelings. "No matter. Let's eat! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!"
The Club muttered back 'Happy Thanksgiving' with varying levels of enthusiasm, Tamaki's and Hunny's being high, Kyoya's and the twins' not so much.
The meal proceeded well enough, causing Haruhi to thank her lucky stars. Mr. Kepler complimented her on the moistness of her turkey, though Hikaru and Kaoru did their best to grab the credit for themselves, and also on the creaminess of her mashed potatoes, though, this time, Tamaki tried to bring to light his help in their creation, waving around his bandaged finger as proof.
"Hey, what happened to all the cranberry sauce?" Haruhi asked, looking around the table. She'd put out a lot, just in case everyone was clamoring for some at the same time. Kyoya had certainly bought enough that having numerous bowlfuls wasn't an issue.
"I passed some to Mori-sempai," Hikaru said.
"Same here," Kaoru put in.
"I believe I passed a bowl of it to Mori-sempai, as well," Kyoya contributed.
"Oh, yes, I'm quite sure I gave him a bowl of it as well," Haruhi's father spoke up.
"And, I'm the one who gave Takahashi the fifth and final bowl," Hunny stated, turning to his cousin seated beside him.
Everyone looked at the tall, dark, silent Mori-sempai, who was looking straight ahead with a spoon clutched in one hand.
"…Is there more?" Mori-sempai finally asked after a moment of shocked stillness.
"Yes, I bought another bagful of canned cranberry sauce," Kyoya answered, buttering a roll as he did so. "It should be somewhere in the kitchen."
Without waiting for any more commentary, Mori-sempai stood up and went into the kitchen.
"Uh, the can opener's in the first drawer right of the stove!" Haruhi called after him. The answer she got was the sound of a silverware drawer being opened and rummaged through.
"I believe we've found Mori-sempai's version of sweets," Kaoru commented, picking up one of the empty cranberry sauce bowls to examine the now impeccably clean insides.
"Yeah, no kidding. We just might have to ship a crateful of the stuff home with us," Hikaru added on, peering over his twin's shoulder at the bare, vacant innards.
"It might be an interesting addition to the Host Club's menu," Kyoya mentioned. "We have to justify this trip somehow."
"Yeah, we could pair it with the instant coffee!" Hunny suggested with much delight.
Mori, armed with the can opener, came back into the room, the whole bag of canned cranberry sauce clutched possessively under one arm.
He sat down.
…
"If anyone else wants more cranberry sauce, now is the time," he ominously stated.
After a moment, Haruhi sighed. "If you can spare two cans, it would be appreciated," she stated resignedly.
The two cans, thoughtfully opened by Mori-sempai with the can opener beforehand, were passed down the table to her, where she poured them into her and her father's unused bowls. 'Try to make these last, okay, guys?" she said before passing them back out.
And, don't let them get within arm's reach of Mori-sempai.
Tamaki had remained uncharacteristically silent through this as he carefully watched the man offering Ranka a job.
It had dawned on him, during the six hours of nothing they'd had to do, that if Ranka ended up getting this job (and why wouldn't he? He'd invited the man to Thanksgiving dinner for chrissakes!), that Haruhi just might be moving to America, permanently.
That was not going to be allowed to happen.
"Who wants dessert?" Haruhi asked when it appeared that everyone had cleared their plates.
Hunny began bouncing up and down in his seat and waving one of his hands in the air. "I do, I do!"
Mr. Kepler chuckled to himself. "That kid's got a voracious appetite," he remarked kindly enough.
Hunny smiled at the man. "I'm not a kid," he informed gently.
Before Hunny could explain any further, Haruhi cut in. "We have pumpkin, cinnamon apple, raspberry, and… and, uh…"
"Strawberry rhubarb," Kyoya supplied.
"Yes, that one. Does anyone know what they want?"
At some point when dessert was being served, Tamaki and Kyoya started exchanging glances and Tamaki began a conversation with Mr. Kepler while Ranka went out to help Haruhi dish up the pie. When their conversation ended, right around the time the pie and several cans of whipped cream was being passed around, Tamaki sent Kyoya a meaning-filled look followed by a wink that had Kyoya grinning slightly, almost to himself, as he accepted his piece of raspberry pie.
Ranka and Mr. Kepler returned to the living room again, to continue their discussion of Mr. Kepler's business proposal, right after dessert, though they both looked as if the tryptophan had kicked in pretty strongly.
Haruhi herself was quite tired and was ready to just leave the dishes and food out until the morning, but that sort of slobbery just didn't jive with her personality, and she began the dreaded holiday cleanup. The Host Club, surprisingly enough, Host ClH
began to help without being asked, bringing out the dirty dishes and putting the leftover food into the containers she indicated. Kyoya had bought so much and Haruhi had made so much of that that nearly everything had bits left over… except for pies. Haruhi found out a few minutes after the cleanup was finished.
"Haruhi?" She felt a tugging at the skirt of her orange dress. Looking down, she saw Hunny with a pained expression on his cherubic face. "My tummy hurts, Haruhi-chan," he mewled. In his hand not fisted in her skirt, he was holding an empty pie tin with not even a crumb left on its walls.
"How many pies did you eat, Hunny-sempai?' Haruhi asked in trepidation. When it required him to use both hands to show her the number with his fingers, Haruhi could hardly stop herself from turning around and ramming her head into the nearest doorjamb.
"Was that too much?" Hunny asked innocently.
Mr. Kepler finally left, telling Ranka to call him to let him know his decision soon. Then, the drama of where everyone was going to bed down began.
There was a guest room with a bed and a loveseat that the twins and Hunny ended up using, with Hunny being confined to the little couch and the twins getting the bed. Mori was stretched out on the couch in the den, and Kyoya and Tamaki had to curl up on recliners in the living room.
When Tamaki woke up, Kyoya was gone, leading the rest of the Club to believe that a lot of Kyoya's willingness to come all this way without once complaining about the budget for such a trip was his newfound obsession with Black Friday. Sure enough, Kyoya showed up at around ten that morning, after everyone had had a late, not-so-nutritious breakfast of leftover pie (Haruhi made sure to keep special tabs on Hunny this time around), and was laden down with plastic bags, full of odds and ends that Haruhi had to doubt Kyoya really even needed, but had gotten anyway because he wasn't the type to be able to pass up anything on sale.
Kyoya's entrance distracted the Club enough that Haruhi was able to sneak away for a moment, and go find her father upstairs where he was, once again, putting on his makeup for the day, though he had a much steadier hand this morning, but also a lot slower one. He, just like the rest of the household, still seemed to be suffering from yesterday's turkey high.
"Hey, Dad," she greeted.
"Good morning, Haruhi," Ranka yawned. "It is still morning, isn't it?"
"Just barely." She smiled and walked over to stand behind her father.
"Sorry, sweetheart. I was just so wiped out," Ranka excused himself sheepishly. "It was nice to get a chance to sleep in."
"It's okay. I had the guys downstairs to keep me occupied."
Ranka laughed. "Well, they weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be."
Haruhi chuckled a little herself. "Yeah. I know what you mean. But, they meant well, I think."
"Did they really fly all this way just to catch up with you?" Ranka asked incredulously. "I mean, you're absolutely worth it, darling, but even those rich boys must have limits on what they're willing to do for kicks."
Haruhi made a noncommittal sound, not trusting that the Host Club in the least to have any limits whatsoever.
Ranka giggled. "Oh, Haruhi. Just be grateful you have such devoted friends."
Haruhi blinked, but then her lips slowly parted in a smile. "Yeah. I guess I am grateful."
"And, I'm grateful for you, Haruhi," Ranka pronounced, turning to look at his daughter with pride. "Did I ever get a chance to tell you 'Happy Thanksgiving' yesterday?"
Haruhi shook her head, still smiling.
"Happy late-Thanksgiving, Haruhi."
"Happy Thanksgiving, Dad." They hugged.
"So," Haruhi started as they pulled away. "Are you going to take that job Mr. Kepler was offering you?"
"Oh, no." Ranka flipped his hand like he was swatting away an annoying fly. "He said I'd have to start dressing "normally" if I went to work for his company. Puh! As if I would ever take a job that wouldn't let me be me."
Outside the door to Ranka's room, the twins gave the rest of the waiting Host Club a thumbs up before they all scrambled back down to the living room, with Tamaki muttering to Kyoya, "I told you Ranka wouldn't be taking the job," and Kyoya replying, "I could really care less. I got what I came here for," clutching one of his shopping bags close to him.
Thanks for reading! I've been planning this fic since two days after last Thanksgiving, so it's really nice to finally get it out there, even if it was kind of rushed (only I could have a fic on my laptop for a year and still have to rush to get it out before Thanksgiving *shakes head self-deprecatingly*).
I haven't given up on Protect the Pokémon! in case any of you are waiting for that to be updated (I highly that doubt any of you are). And, coming up in the semi-near future should be another The Burdens of Fanfiction chapter; I'm thinking around winter break.