Chapter 1: The First Chapter.
They say April is the cruelest month. Verily, a single month could breed tumultuous change, even for the dogs. Winds of change, a most violent gust. Lingering proof that that, which is unexpected, is often the most significant.
Michael is a salesman. He has a wife and three kids who hate his guts. He's on welfare. He lives in a three bedroom apartment in southern Philadelphia. He religiously wakes up at 4 o'clock in the morning. He wakes up to the same boring routine everyday. The punctuality of his morning routine is admirable, if not rather pathetic.
Michael's life is in shambles. He schedules going to the shrink every week, taking care of his kids and wife, and works nine hours a day.
On one particular Friday morning, Michael awoke to an empty house.
"Where is everyone," he thought aloud. Then he saw the door mysteriously open. It was a door to the balcony.
"Did they jump?" but there was no one at the bottom.
"Where did they go?" so he went back to sleep.
Mario walked across the street, and then exploded. The autopsy provided evidences of excessive pasta consumption, perhaps a result of alleged overfeeding accusations by Princess peach herself who denied all the claims personally. The date in court has yet to be assigned as it is seemingly impossible to manage to maintain the livelihood of any potential witnesses. Needless to say, the case went cold three months later. Interestingly enough, it was at that exact moment that Michael awoke from his clearly prodigious slumber.
"Where is everyone?" he said, the pitch of his voice reflecting quite accurately his lack of true concern as it fell with each syllable.
So he went back to sleep. Upon his awakening 28 days later, the streets were empty.
"Where is everyone?" he questioned himself.
Cars were abandoned, stores, empty. He flipped out. He considered suicide, but was too busy flipping out to find a mean to an end. He flipped out cause he couldn't stop flipping out which verily increased the flip-outage.
Suddenly Bowser come out of nowhere, a prospect which is quite simply impossible as the existence of nowhere would indeed verify the fact that nowhere was most certainly somewhere of no particular importance. Nevertheless, he came pretty fast, causing him to flip out further. Bowser lifted an aggressive paw and with one clean swipe….