Fidelity,
By Regina Spektor
Godiva Lionheart sat it a rigid, plain wooden chair, looking out over the murky swamp from the small window of the small cottage she was residing in. The day was quiet and sad, a day perfect for quite contemplation. The clouds were dark and ominous and a soft rain hit the roof overhead, making a rhythmic pitter-patter noise.
I never loved nobody fully
Godiva let out a great sigh and slumped into her chair, letting depression sink into her all-ready weary mind. Her solemn, oddly mismatched eyes stared out the window sorrowfully, and she felt tears well in her eyes.
Always one foot on the ground
It was May 15, thirty-four years since the day her companion had died, since she had let her die.
And by protecting my heart truly
"I'm so sorry," Godiva said softly, as the tears fell, rolling slowly down her weathered cheeks. She always spent the day of her companion's death in mourning, trying to repent for what she had done.
I got lost in the sounds
Most of her family had been viciously murdered by the vindictive Kullervo, as he fought to force all of humanity into extinction. He had fought all the way, and had killed all of her close relatives in the society, with the exceptions of Sybil and Evelyn.
I hear in my mind
All these voices
"Another death to mourn," Godiva thought despairingly, as she brought to mind her funny, eccentric sister, the one she had forsaken.
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music
"If only I had one more chance," Godiva thought woefully, "I would be able to tell her how sorry I was, and what a fool I have been."
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
She had come to resent the society for it's part her family's death, and quit dealing with other companions and creatures. Godiva had been afraid of the pain and hurt that she would feel when she saw exactly what had been lost, so she shut herself away, afraid of falling.
And suppose I never met you
Suppose we never fell in love
But Godiva had matured greatly in the last year, and had come to realize exactly what she had been shutting away. No longer did she suppress her gift as she had, and when she had opened herself up, it had hurt like she knew it would. The pain stung and caught a hold of her like the roots of a tree, latching onto her heart in a choking embrace.
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
And when she finally let herself open up to the light of truth and certainty, new shoots bloomed. They festered and grew, unrestrained and unmolested. Even after everything Godiva had been through, she was still able to live again. She felt like a new born, able to see and truly feel for the first time in a long, long while.
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
So as Godiva sat at her window and mourned her loses and mistakes, she also rejoiced, for she was who she was meant to be.
Just to break my fall
"I'm sorry for all the mistakes I've made, I will never forget you,' she said softly in prayer. Her eyes were closed tightly, her arms wrapped around the warm body in her lap.
Just to break my fall
"And thank you, for giving me a second chance," Godiva finished quietly. Silent tears fell again, but this time, they were tears of joy. A soft green paw wiped the tear from her face, and Godiva Looked down and smiled.
Break my fall
"Don't cry, I'm here now, and I won't go anywhere," Said the wood sprite on her lap.
Break my fall
*****
About a week after Godiva helped save Connie, she left for the Amazon Rainforest to start her new life as a nature preserver. It was hard, honest work, and the kind of thing that Godiva loved and craved for. The sort of activity she could participate in and fill her life with, that filled some of the void she still carried around in her heart. It also provided her with many opportunities to work and socialize with new and exciting people. She leaned that many of them were also companions like herself, with the few exceptions of regular people who just had a strong passion for the environment.
All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
After talking to these regular people, Godiva began to develop a deep and utter respect for them. Sure, they may not have been companions like her and the majority of the people there, but that was in itself, far more fantastic. That regular people could love the environment so much for no other reason but its great beauty, and have no idea of the majestic creatures that were all around them.
Gonna get better
It was with a group of environmentalists that she had first seen Thistle. The little wood sprite had been sitting quietly upon a tree branch overhanging across the path they were traveling. She had been eating a stash of acorns when the group passed beneath her, and was feeling slightly sneaky at the time. And with a quick movement, she had upended the entire stash directly down onto Godiva's head.
Better better better better
With a startled yelp, she had jumped and peered into the treetops for the source of the assault. The rest of her party had laughed loudly and carried on the trail, but Godiva didn't. She reached out with her mind and immediately sensed the presence of the tricky wood sprite hiding gleefully in the tree hallow. With a small smile tugging at the corer of her mouth, she had turned around and pretended to bend over and tie her shoelace, all the time focused on what the creature was up to. All of a sudden, she sensed it sneaking up behind her, and sprung to her feet and spun around to catch it.
Better better better
"I got you!" She yelled triumphantly, as she snatched its startled form in her hands. And just like the first time, a power flowed between her and the mythical creature, bringing tingling magic flowing up and down her spine. She arched her back and gasped out loud at the strong feelings it brought. The wood sprite itself had experienced the same thing, and had its two front paws pressed against her chest, as she stared wide eyed into Godiva's eyes. Slowly, a fog that had been coiled around Godiva's mind had parted, and she had felt the presence of the mythical creature in her mind.
I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
"Oh wow! That was a strong feeling!" The wood sprite had said wondrously, as she nuzzled her newfound companions face. Godiva laughed out loud at the feeling and stroked the cat-like creature between her ears.
And by protecting my heart truly
"It's a pleasure to meet you! My names Godiva, what's yours?" She'd replied cheerfully and excitedly. Godiva had never thought she would have felt this happiness ever again, but here it was.
I got lost
In the sounds
"The name's Thistle," She replied just as cheerfully. With giant grins on both their faces, Godiva had turned back on the trail and headed to her little cottage, holding Thistle tightly in her arms.
I hear in my mind
All these voices
*****
And that was how love came back into Godiva's life, and it was all she could have ever hoped for. No longer did she have to dwell in misery, for she had found another creature that completed and made her whole.
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind
"Thank you," Godiva said into her companion's fur, as she held her close. She never wanted to let go, not ever.
All this music
And it breaks my heart
So Godiva and her wood sprit companion sat together in the wooden chair, silently enjoying each other's company.
It breaks my heart
Where once a frozen block of ice used to be, now did a luminescent flower bloom under it's new loving environment. Godiva had been reawakened and her everlasting winter had finally become spring.
Breaks my Heart
And as she would always tell people with a grand smile as they noticed her new and improved attitude:
"My heart broke for a second time recently, and it was all I could have ever hoped for."
Breaks my heart