Finding the Light Again
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, WB, Scholastic, etc. No profit is being made from this. All rights reserved.
Summary: 'This couldn't be happening- not to them. It was as if he was looking at his life through a glass, darkly. His mouth felt dry and the great Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, was lost for words.' The Potters are imploding. Can Harry and Ginny fix a broken marriage? H/G.
Warnings: Infidelity, swearing
"Love must be learned, and learned again and again; there is no end to it."- Katherine Anne Porter
A/N: Written for the Adultery with a Twist Challenge over on the HPFC Forum. Huge thanks to my beta, whose speedy editing skills are to thank for this coming out so quickly.
...
It was like any other Tuesday, when Ginny stood in front of his desk, in his office. Moments before she opened her mouth to speak, he took the time to admire the way her beautiful red hair was tied in a simple ponytail. He loved to squint, even wearing glasses, and work out just where he had kissed the freckles on her face. He loved the way that even after years of marriag and two beautiful sons, her body gave way to curves and delicate muscle. He loved that he still wanted her; still needed her.
But it wasn't an ordinary Tuesday.
"I've been seeing someone."
Harry gripped his quill. He didn't look at Ginny.
"Harry, I said..."
"I know what you said."
Tears started to form in Ginny's eyes. Harry still didn't move.
"H-Harry, I'm sorry..."
"You're sorry?" Harry said, finally standing, knocking his antique chair to the ground. "You come in here, out of nowhere and casually announce that you've been seeing someone, and you're sorry?"
Ginny's tears fell more freely now. "Harry, please, I didn't want to lie anymore."
"How about not lying in the first place, Ginny? Merlin's pants, Gin, you've been fucking someone else!" he roared. She tried to touch him but he pulled his arm away, as if it had been burned. "Are you still seeing him? Who the fuck is he?"
She shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself. "No, I'm not seeing him anymore. It's over," she whispered.
"Who is he Ginny?" Harry whispered. He wasn't quite sure he wanted to know the answer.
"Florian, the new editor at the Prophet," she answered. "It's over Harry. I-I couldn't do it anymore. I love you. I made a mistake, that's all it was. A stupid mistake."
This couldn't be happening- not to them. It was as if he was looking at his life through a glass, darkly. His mouth felt dry and the great Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, was lost for words.
"Please say something, anything," she begged.
The sound of Al crying suddenly pierced the silence. Harry and Ginny stared at one another as Al's cries sang the song of hearts breaking.
...
"She wants to talk to you, you know," Hermione said matter-of-factly, as she carefully manoeuvred into the vacant seat next to Harry. Harry stared at her pregnant belly for a moment and then slumped forward, much to the delight of Rose, who was sitting in her high chair.
"I don't care. She's the one who cheated on me, Hermione. I haven't sent her any divorce papers, have I? She needs to give me time and you need to back off," he snapped.
"There's no need to get huffy with me, Harry Potter!"
Rose began to cry and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hermione charm a soft toy to dance around the kitchen. He thought of his own two sons; the way James had asked him with all the tact of a three year old 'why are you leaving us here, Daddy?' and the way Al had cried and sobbed as he slammed the door on him and his mother.
"She did this to us."
Hermione sadly placed her hand on his and gently squeezed it, pouring in years of friendship into that one simple gesture.
"Have you asked her why?"
...
His heart soared as he clutched his sons close to him. His heart sank as Ginny stood in their kitchen, unwilling to intrude on their family moment. He closed his eyes and buried his face in thick black hair so similar to his own.
"Are you home?" Ginny asked him softly. He followed her eyes to his wedding ring that still sat wrapped around his finger.
Even now.
"You haven't taken it off," she breathed, while fiddling with its counterpart, which still sat wrapped around her finger.
They sat facing one another at the table, while the children played under their parents' watchful eyes. Tea sat in the middle of the table, though both cups remained untouched. It could have been a scene out of the life they once shared but it remained as it was—a memory of a life that went two separate ways. Harry glanced at the kitchen and recognised Molly's pots sitting on the bench. He breathed a sigh of relief.
"Your Mum has been here."
Ginny nodded in response. "Yeah, she's well...she's, not happy but she's Mum so she'll at least come here and help and then yell instead of just sending me a Howler."
Ginny's hand found his and he stared at both their wedding rings.
Until death do us part.
"Why did you do it Gin?" Harry asked, trying to stop his voice from cracking. He wasn't sure he would be prepared for her answer but Hermione was right, he had to know. "And please, be honest," he added.
Ginny flicked her eyes toward their sons and then back at Harry. "I didn't mean for it to happen, I swear to you. It was just..."
She paused and Harry felt himself tighten in fear. He gently stroked his thumb over her hand, sending her gentle encouragement. He saw her visibly gather her Gryffindor courage.
"You were never here, Harry. I get it; you were filling in for Robards and working these mad hours because that's what the Head of the Auror Department does." She sighed. "You weren't here when James got dragon pox or Al accidentally blew up his toy broom or when I had a panic attack and had to be sent home from work."
Harry noticed that her tone wasn't accusing. He stared at her as tears began to fill her eyes. She used her free hand to angrily wipe them away. "I was lonely," she finally admitted.
"I'm so sorry Ginny," Harry whispered, letting his own eyes cloud over.
"It's no excuse, I know. I know. But I felt like I was drowning and I love our boys, I really do but I gave up my career to be a family but there was no family to be without you here. I was finally tired of lying to you."
She noticed Al's eyes wandering to them and Ginny put on a watery smile and gently waved. "I understand if you decide that you want nothing to do with me, Harry. But please, the boys love you and they miss you..."
"Do you still love me, Ginny?"
She didn't hesitate. "I've never loved you more."
Harry leant across the table and kissed his wife.
...
Harry kissed the top of Al's head and smiled as his thick, black hair rubbed against Harry's own chin. He pulled the blankets up over his son and extinguished the light. He didn't dare interrupt James, who had already fallen asleep. Sighing with contentment, he closed the door and activated the spell that would alert him and Ginny if needed during the night. He opened the door to their bedroom and sat on the bed. The door to their private bathroom swung open and Ginny stood in the doorway, clutching her wand.
"All right, Gin?"
Ginny's face turned white in response.
"I'm pregnant."
Harry felt his heart sink. He looked at Ginny, really looked at her. There were dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was coming out of her ponytail and there was a thin band of sweat across her forehead. Harry briefly recalled the way her eyes had lit up when she had announced her pregnancies with James and Al. Harry steeled his nerves and summoned his fraying Gryffindor courage.
"Is it...?"
"I don't know," she interrupted, her own soft voice threatening to crack.
Harry stood and filled the steps to Ginny with large, purposeful strides. He took her head in his hands and kissed her sweaty forehead. He looked into her eyes and grinned.
"We're having a baby!"
...
It was a Tuesday when a soft, pink bundle was placed into Harry's arms. He smiled as he touched his daughter's shock of Weasley red hair. He sat next to Ginny on the bed and handed their daughter back to her. He helped his sons up onto the bed and smiled as they ventured closer for a better look.
"She's too small," huffed James.
"Hair! Red!" said Al.
"Boys!" Ginny gentled scolded. "This is your new sister, Lily."
Harry smiled.