Disclaimer: I don't own anything OC related.
AN: For Walter in the OC sentence challenge.
1)Ryan's new favorite pastime is ruined when he makes an unfortunate
discovery: he's allergic to bubble baths.
Stipulations:
No HospitalFic. Ryan can go to the hospital/ER for treatment, if necessary,
but this is not to be a hurt/comfort, life-or-death, major drama story.
Story must include an extended scene with Ryan naked in the bathtub.
Ryan must play with at least one bath toy other than the cliche'd rubber
ducky.
Someone must comment on how nice Ryan smells.
Calgon Takes Ryan Away
"Ryan's new favorite pastime is ruined when he makes an unfortunate
discovery: he's allergic to bubble baths."
Ryan was sore. He wanted to go straight home and soak in the hot tub. He'd taken on a few extra shifts at the Crab Shack to try and help Seth pay off some damages that had occurred from an overly involved video game and he was damned tired. He'd never thought he'd get as attached to an inanimate object as he had become with the Jacuzzi. It was such a luxury, but it did things for his aching muscles that painkillers and massages couldn't. He dropped his bag by the kitchen table and yawned as he walked onto the patio.
When he glanced toward the pool, he saw a mountain of iridescent bubbles. What the hell had Seth done now?
"Seth?"
"Ooh! Chino's home!"
"Summer?" Ryan asked, confused as he approached the pool. Bubbles were everywhere. They were floating in front of him and he couldn't avoid them as he got closer to the source of Summer's voice. They were stuck to the windows of the poolhouse and the chairs…everything. By the time he arrived at the edge of the hot tub, he had bubbles stuck to his arms and legs.
"Hey, Ryan. Want to come in?" Seth's voice came from somewhere in the still-cresting mountain of bubbles.
"What the hell have you done?" Ryan asked. He was too stunned to know whether he should laugh or beat the hell out of Seth. This just couldn't end well. Not with Sandy and Kirsten due back first thing in the morning and the Jacuzzi boiling over with happy joy-filled bubbles of doom.
"Well, Seth had this great idea of taking a bath together but I told him that I only take bubble baths…"
Ryan realized that he was listening to a pile of bubbles.
"And then I explained that even though we live in this huge house, I didn't think we'd fit together in the tub…" Seth's voice continued.
"So Seth said that we could put the bubble bath in the Jacuzzi and it would be the same thing," Summer finished.
"Um, Seth?"
"Yeah?"
"You guys aren't…" Ryan couldn't bring himself to say the word. He turned his back on the talking bubbles.
"Naked? Chino thinks we're naked!" Summer laughed.
The bubbles were drunk, he realized as he accidentally kicked over an empty bottle of champagne that was hidden under some lather.
A wet splat on the back of his head snapped him back to reality. Seth was laughing, giddily from his bubble fort. Ryan wiped the suds off his head and gave the mound an annoyed glare.
"Come on, man, join us! Don't be like that!" Seth called.
Ryan sighed. It was still a hot tub. And they wouldn't make him get in if they were really naked. He hoped. He went into the poolhouse and changed into his swim trunks. He walked out and eyed the Jacuzzi warily.
"Yay! He's coming to play!" Seth giggled.
"Why don't you look like that with your shirt off?" Summer asked.
"Hey, you're not allowed to look at him," Seth scolded as Ryan slowly lowered himself into the bubbles. Finally, he could see Seth and Summer sitting in the Jacuzzi through the bubbles.
"Are you sure this isn't bad for the filter?" Ryan asked as he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the edge. The bubbles tickled his nose and were sticking to his exposed chest and shoulders. At least he'd be clean.
"Uh, the filter? You think?" Seth responded, confused.
"Yeah. Maybe. You might want to check on that," Ryan laughed at his puzzled expression.
"Damn, Chino, you haven't even been in the sun that long but you're turning red…" Summer said. She reached over to put her hand on his skin but Seth slapped her hand away.
"God, Summer, stop pawing at him, you already said that he looks better than me…" Seth scolded.
"No…I'm breaking out…what the fuck did you put in here?" Ryan realized that his skin is starting to itch. He got out of the pool and brushed the bubbles off as best he can.
"Damn, dude, you're turning redder than a lobster…" Seth started to laugh.
Ryan's skin was on fire. He rushed into the poolhouse and immediately got into the shower. The hot water only irritated his skin more. Thousands of tiny red bumps had started to cover his flesh and they itched. They itched a lot. It was all he could do not to scratch.
"Fuck…" He muttered, walking out of the shower a few minutes later with a towel around his waist.
"Are you okay?" Summer asked. She was sitting beside her hysterical boyfriend on his bed. Seth's face was almost as red as Ryan's skin but it was because he was laughing so damn hard.
"Do you have nails?" He asked.
Summer held up her manicured nails.
"Scratch," Ryan said. She started scratching his back and shoulders. He made a relieved sound.
"Aww, he's purring," Summer smiled. She'd never heard a sound like that from Chino before.
"Seth, I'm going to kill you," Ryan said suddenly. "What the fuck am I supposed to do?"
"You're having an allergic reaction, Ryan, maybe we should take you to the hospital…" Summer said. Seth was still laughing.
"I can't go to the hospital, the Cohens will kill me…" Ryan said. "Keep scratching."
Summer was mildly intoxicated but she could see Ryan's point. The Cohens would panic.
"Oatmeal," She said suddenly.
"What? What the fuck are you talking about?"
"You're itching, you need an oatmeal bath," Summer said seriously. Ryan turned his head and glared at her. Seth had finally recovered but the idea of an oatmeal bath caused him to drop back into hysterics.
"You can't be serious," Ryan said.
"You don't want to go to the hospital, do you?"
"Fuck…okay, what do I do?" Ryan sighed.
Summer paused in her scratching. "We need a whole lot of oatmeal." She slapped Seth on the back of his head. "Make yourself useful. Go to the store and buy us some oatmeal."
"I'm not leaving you alone with Naked Ryan," Seth said, choking with laughter.
"Do you want to scratch me?" Ryan replied.
"Okay. But nothing besides her nails should touch you. And only on the safe parts…"
Ryan glared at him.
"I'm going…" Seth said.
When Seth returned, he dropped three bags on the floor of the poolhouse. "Strawberry."
"What?" Ryan asked. His skin had turned even redder and he seemed to be swelling up but he had gotten dressed in a pair of shorts.
"I got strawberry," Seth grinned.
"I hate you," Ryan said, defeated.
"It'll have to do. I'll fill up the tub, Chino," Summer said.
"I hate you," Ryan repeated.
"You're really mad," Seth realized.
"I hate you."
The poolhouse started to smell like strawberries and cream.
"All right, Chino. I'm tired of stirring," Summer said, walking out of the bathroom and licking a chunk of oatmeal off her hand. "Needs sugar."
Ryan walked into the bathroom and stared at the bathtub full of brown viscous liquid. "This is the most disgusting thing I've ever had to do."
"Come on, Chino, it's not that bad."
"Get out." Ryan closed the door and stripped off his clothes. He skin was on fire but when he stepped into the tub of oatmeal, there was instant relief. He lowered himself into the tub until everything except his head was submerged. He moaned as he was given a reprieve from the itching.
"Maybe we should try that," Seth said from outside the door. "Ow…" He added as Summer shoved him.
Ryan found himself dozing off and when he came back to his senses, the oatmeal had thickened. He tried to raise his arms but they were stuck in the gluey substance. "Oh fuck."
Summer and Seth were dozing on Ryan's bed when they heard him curse.
"Shit…he's been in there for like, an hour…"Summer realized. They both went to the door.
"Hey, dude, are you okay in there?"
"I'm going to kill you both," was the growling response.
"Uh…do you need some help?" Seth offered.
"I'm…I'm fucking stuck. This shit is like cement."
"I guess I didn't stir it up enough…" Summer whispered. There was a knock on the door and Marissa stepped in.
"Uh, Seth, something's wrong with your Jacuzzi…it's got rabies or something…" She said. "Where's Ryan?"
"He's a little…busy…" Summer stammered.
"Maybe you can help him, Marissa…he's in a little bit of a bind…" Seth said. Summer shoved him.
"Chino's going to kick your ass…"
"He's already going to kick my ass, but I'm not letting you go in there when he's all naked and I'm definitely not going in there…" Seth replied.
"Ryan's naked? I'm in," Marissa grinned. She gently pushed them out of the way and went into the bathroom.
"Marissa! What the hell?" Ryan's exposed face was red with embarrassment besides his allergic reaction.
"Mmm…you smell delicious," She said, going to the tub's side.
"Marissa…"
"What are you doing and why wasn't I invited?" She attempted to taste the oatmeal but the mess had gelled and she couldn't get anything on her finger.
"Help me out…" He managed to get an arm free. The oatmeal was clinging to his skin.
"Ew…gross…" She finally reached out and started to pull. She used all her strength and finally he was able to step out of the tub with a disgusting sucking sound.
Marissa plucked a clod of oatmeal off Ryan's elbow and stuck it in her mouth. "Strawberry…my favorite…"
"That's just gross," Ryan commented.
"You look like the creature from the dark lagoon," She teased.
"Who let you in?" Ryan asked flatly.
"Seth. Why?" She asked.
"Because I'm going to kill him," Ryan responded. "Can I get a minute?"
"You don't want me to help? I could lick it off…"
"Ew…no thanks."
Marissa gave him a perturbed look and stormed out of the bathroom.
Ryan started to chip away at the oatmeal shell that was all over his body. He started to itch immediately. He managed to get the crust mostly off his body. He turned to look at the tub and realized that the drain was clogged. He pulled on a robe and stepped out. He should make Seth eat the whole damned tub full of oatmeal. Rosa was going to kill them.
"Ryan…"
"I'm going to kill you. I'm going to your bathroom," Ryan muttered, walking past Seth and Summer out of the poolhouse. Bubbles were everywhere now and the Jacuzzi was still frothing. The windows of the poolhouse and the main house were glistening with the iridescent spheres.
Ryan's skin was on fire by the time he made it to Seth's bathroom. He glanced around the bathroom. He'd never been in Seth's bathroom before.
It was light blue and had sailboats on the walls. There were sailboats and dolphins on the shower curtain.
It looked like a five year old's bathroom. Complete with bath toys in a neat bin beside the tub. He had to smile. He wasn't big into blackmail, but at least now he realized why Seth didn't want Summer in his bathroom for bubble baths.
He got into the shower and immediately turned on the hot water. Maybe he could scald his skin and stop the itching.
His lower back was burning the worst now and he couldn't reach it to scratch it. Needing relief, he grabbed a plastic boat from the toy bin and began scratching his back with the toy.
It worked. He caught himself moaning with relief as he scratched.
He realized suddenly that he didn't know what else to do. He pushed the stopper down in the tub and let it fill with steaming water. He lowered his inflamed body into the tub.
The oatmeal had helped, but he was still having a reaction. The steaming water didn't give him any relief so he took the boat and used it to scratch.
It wasn't giving him enough relief so he reached into the bin and grabbed another toy. Another boat. This one was larger so he abandoned the first one to float listlessly and used the larger one to scratch. He couldn't leave the little boat all alone in the tub, so he grabbed a couple of other boats and dropped them in, too.
Several minutes later, he realized that he was playing with toys. He noticed that one of the boats had something sitting on it. A plastic horse in a miniature life jacket. Captain Oats couldn't swim. This could be fun.
"What the hell is he doing in there? You think he's dying?" Summer asked. They were sitting on Seth's bed now.
"He better not die in my bathroom," Seth hiccupped.
"You're so insensitive, Cohen…" Summer said. "He could be dying in there for all we know! Go check on him."
"I'm not going in there," Seth said. "I mean, what if he's still all naked?"
"Do you want me to go?" Summer asked immediately.
"Uh, no. I'll knock." Seth stood up drunkenly and knocked lazily on the door.
"What?" Ryan answered from behind the door.
"Ryan? Are you okay in there?" Seth called.
"Fine. Captain Oats and I are bonding."
Seth gasped. "Captain Oats? Oh my god! Ryan…"
Summer started to laugh at Seth's stricken expression.
"He's fine…I'm teaching him to swim…"
Seth was horrified. "He can't swim, man, come on…"
"He's learning…" Ryan called.
"You play with your pony in the tub?" Summer asked. "Ew. That just sounds wrong. And now, Ryan's playing with your pony…"
"Shut up, Summer, this is serious…" Seth said.
"You think he can scuba dive?" Ryan called.
"Ryan, please…" Seth whined. "Don't hurt him…"
"You are such a spoiled brat, your brother's in there about to swell up and explode and you're worried about your horse…" Summer had her phone in her hand.
"Summer, he's not just a horse…" Seth protested.
"Hey, Daddy…no everything's okay…one of my friends has broken out in this icky rash…no, it's not me…Ew, not that kind…no, he got it from bubbles…long story…oh…really? They make medicine for that? Oh. Thanks…love you, too." She flipped the phone closed.
"Summer? Why didn't you do that a long time ago?" Seth asked, exasperated.
"I hate facing my dad what I'm drunk," She shrugged.
"You're not facing him…"
"Shut up. He said that we need to give him some 'Benadryl'."
"What the hell is that?" Seth responded. "This is an emergency, Captain Oats is in there!"
"He's a fast learner, he's snorkeling already!" Ryan called from behind the door. Seth's face dropped with terror.
"I'll check your mom's medicine cabinet," Summer sighed. She staggered out of the room.
"Ryan?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm coming in." Seth swung open the door with his hand clasped over his eyes.
"Get the hell out of here, what's wrong with you?" Ryan snapped.
Seth lowered his hand and risked a peek. Ryan's naked form was hidden by the regatta of boats floating in the tub.
"Where is he?"
Ryan's skin was still inflamed but he smiled sadistically at his friend. "Who?"
"Where is he, Ryan?"
"Who?" Ryan repeated innocently. "Oh, you mean Captain Oats? I told you, he's diving."
"You don't mean…God, man…" Seth realized that Captain Oats was submerged in the water with Ryan's naked parts.
"Ew! What are you doing?" Summer gasped, seeing Seth standing looking at Ryan. She turned instinctively and saw Ryan in the tub of toys. "What are you doing? What are both of you doing?"
"He's got Captain Oats," Seth stammered, red.
"It's a horse. A plastic horse," Ryan deadpans.
"This is just weird. You're watching him take a bath and you're playing with his pony. I'm getting the hell out of here…" Summer turned to leave.
"What about the medicine, Summer?" Seth called.
"There's medicine? Why the hell didn't you say something?" Ryan demanded.
A box came flying through the opened door and landed in the sink. Seth grabbed it and gave Ryan a mischievous grin and held it up.
"For allergic reactions including hives…you give me Captain Oats and I'll give you…"
"Don't make me get out of this tub," Ryan warned.
"You wouldn't."
Ryan put his arms on the edge of the tub and started to raise himself up. Seth dropped the box and bolted from the room.
Ryan grabbed a towel and the box of pills from the floor. He scanned the directions and swallowed two pills. He drained the tub. He glanced into the bin beside the tub and made sure that Captain Oats was still dry and safe.