AUTHOR'S NOTE: This piece was written for my little buddy Kei! Today is their birthday, so happy birthday darling! I know you really like this song, so I got inspired and wrote it a little while ago. It's short, but I hope it's okay!
The song is "Say Something" by A Great Big World.
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
The letters grew fewer and farther between. Having gotten no response in the past year, Emma had nearly given up. Still, every few weeks, she sent out another desperate attempt to contact the mayor.
"I just hope you're okay.
Yours,
Emma"
But nothing came back. As much as she worried about her former lover, she felt more sure that the lack of a response was the woman's conscious choice, and that Emma was simply... unwanted. No one knew about the letters, not even Henry, which made it easy for her to keep her feelings a secret. Eventually, she heard news of the mayor. 'Doing fine,' they said. 'Busy.' They wouldn't say anything else, and Emma didn't press for answers. That was when the letters stopped.
Every now and then, Emma found herself in front of the mirror, alone in the bathroom, staring at the razor in the medicine cabinet. Without Regina, she was nothing. Even with her son's love, she felt like a horrible mother. How was she supposed to parent him alone? If I'm gone, she told herself, he'll be back with his mother. He'll be better off with her. But she couldn't gather the courage to end it, to leave her beloved son.
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
At night, she dreamed of death. In her dreams, she laid on the bed with her head in Regina's lap. The woman would kiss her forehead, then her lips, then tear the beating heart form her chest and crush it into ash, ending everything Emma could no longer live with. She died, but she didn't die alone. This, she knew, wasn't possible, but the dreams came anyway.
She consoled herself in the mornings by kissing her son and driving him to school each day, reminding herself that she was loved, and that she still had love to give. Everyone noticed that there was something dead inside her, but no one dared to bring up what they knew had caused the gaping hole. Even her parents remained silent, simply trying their best to support her and give her all the love that they had. No matter what, no matter how 'good' of a day she had, in the end... she was alone.
And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
Little did Emma know, Regina ached as well. With each letter, she felt her heart cracking. She was grateful for the updates about Henry's achievements in school, his friends, and his day-to-day activities. When they slowed to a stop, she found herself wondering more and more about what Emma was doing. How she was doing. No matter how Emma felt, she never confessed her love, never begged for her lover back, never shared her feelings. Concern and interest were found in her words, but that was the only way she showed her love. Then, the last letter came.
"I'm going to stop writing to you. It's clear that you aren't interested in hearing from me, and I'm sorry that I've been so persistent. I hope that you've at least been happy to hear about Henry. You can't possibly know how much he misses you. This has been hard for him, as I'm sure it has been for you. I'm so sorry to have taken him away from you. Every day, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing by him, if I'm a good enough parent for him. I think you would do a much better job with him. I'm afraid that I'm doing him a great disservice. I'm afraid that I'll ruin his life, that what he really needs is you. But I trust that you know what's best for him, and if you let him stay with me, I should trust you to make that decision for him. In any case, I just want to thank you for the way you've raised him, and everything you've done to make him who he is today. He's an amazing boy, and all of that credit goes to you. You've been a wonderful mother. I hope that you know that.
Well, that's it then. Of course, I'll keep you in my thoughts. I wish you the best, Regina. I hope that all the happiness in the world finds you.
Yours always,
Emma."
At the bottom of the letter, Regina noticed the tear stains that smudged the "P.S." at the end, making the last of the writing illegible.
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
When Regina showed up at her doorstep, Emma was both shocked and horrified. What the fuck do I say? she wondered desperately as she stood in front of the mayor with her mouth agape.
"I'm... Hi."
"Hello, Miss Swan."
After a moment of silence, all she could come up with was, "Are you here for Henry?"
"No, Emma," Regina answered, stepping forward. "I'm here for you."
And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye
When the mayor lifted Emma off the ground in a tight embrace, the blonde found her breath caught in her chest. Only when Regina put her back down did she finally draw breath.
"I'm so sorry, Emma," the brunette whispered in her ear, the familiar heat of her breath making Emma shiver. "I should have written you back."
Then why didn't you? Emma wanted to know, but she didn't ask. She accepted the apology silently as tears filled her eyes.
"What are you doing?"
"I want you back, Emma," the woman answered, "if you'll have me."
"Of course I'll have you," Emma told her. "You're all I've ever wanted. Why do you think I wrote you letters every week for a year? I only stopped because I want you to be happy, and I figured that if you weren't responding, you didn't want to hear from me."
"Every letter you sent me was like a knife twisting inside me. I was afraid to admit I was wrong. I was afraid to try to win you back."
"You've already won me, Regina. I've always been yours."
"Can I kiss you?" Regina suddenly asked, tears welling in her eyes, too.
"Please kiss me," Emma whispered, wrapping her hand around the back of Regina's hair, tangling her fingers in it and pulling her closer. As soon as they kissed, Emma began to sob, saying, "I thought I'd never see you again."
"I'm back, Emma, and I'm not leaving."
"I think I would die if you left me again."
"I won't. I'll never make the mistake of letting you go again." When Emma obviously didn't know what to say, Regina continued, "Come home, Emma."
With a nod, Emma finally smiled.
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
And anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you