Okay, I realised yesterday that what you learn about her past in this chapter is totally wrong. I wrote this when it was meant to be a one shot. After 8.5 chapters were saved on my computer I realised it was slightly longer than that. So I've revamped it a little. No big deal and the story's pretty much the same so ... ya know, don't panic.

If you've not read this before ignore my rambling. If you carry on reading you'll get used to that. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter One:

The wind whipped through the open balcony doors and tugged impatiently at the cream silk curtains hanging there. Warm sunshine was splashed across the soft rug spread over the polished marble floor. Trees of the forest outside rustled and whispered to one another, spreading the news one last time before they began their grieving.

The Prince of Mirkwood was dead.

Even if she hadn't been able to understand their words the mourning she-elf would still know what they said. It was all Lienaren had been able to think since he fell outside the Black Gates little over a month ago. It claimed her thoughts night and day and every time she heard the words in her mind it killed her all over again.

The breeze that had been pulling on the curtains soon ceased and left her to her grief and her memories, for that was all she would ever have of him now. She lay on what was once his bed with her face buried in the pillows. It had been so long since he had slept in it the sheets no longer held his scent. Yet more of him that had been claimed by the wind never to be returned to her.

Her soft brown hair fell in graceful waves and curls across the soft green blankets and covered her arms that cradled her head as her delicate frame was wracked with sobs. She hadn't been able to stop crying since he left her. Although she was not always sobbing her face was never dry of her tears. And as the days had grown into weeks she feared she would never be free of the pain.

With a final shudder and strained gasp she forced herself to hold the rest of it in for now. She raised her pounding head and gazed out of the open doors to the world outside. Birds sang a lament to their Prince and she knew they grieved for the beautiful life lost. One perched on the balcony railing and looked sympathetically at her. Lienaren dragged herself unsteadily off the bed and absently tried to brush the creases out of her long ivory gown. She sniffed and walked heavily onto the balcony, feeling the warmth of the sun try and comfort her with its presence. Looking down at the bird she watched it watch her and wondered what it was thinking. She rested her hands on the stone railing and it hopped over giving her a light peck before taking to the air and disappearing into the forest. Lienaren watched it until it was out of sight, wishing she could disappear with it. How she longed to leave this place filled with memories of what she had lost.

But through all the pain she was holding on to there was one tiny piece of her life that still sparkled. The one reason she was still breathing and had not surrendered to sweet oblivion that beckoned to her from the moment her love closed his eyes. She was carrying his child. Maybe the wind hadn't stolen everything from her.

Lienaren rested her hands protectively over her still flat belly and thought about the little life she could already feel growing within her. As if sensing her need the breeze stirred itself back to life and gently combed its invisible fingers comfortingly through her hair, sweeping it softly to the side over her left shoulder. The she-elf fancied she could hear a whispered voice telling her what she wanted to hear, that she would be with Legolas again, that all she needed was to be patient.

All too soon even the breeze abandoned her and she was once again stood alone on the balcony looking out over the view she had wanted so much to share with her husband. She could imagine standing just here with Legolas close behind her, his arms surrounding her with his hands resting over hers where they lay on the railing like he had countless times while they were in Lothlorien. He would rest his cheek on her temple and talk to her about unimportant nonsense that neither really cared about just because he knew how much she liked to hear him speak. It was the lack of moments such as this that kept her face wet with tears.

But it was the nights that were slowly driving her insane. If she closed her eyes she could feel the mattress shift under his weight as he rolled over to take her in his arms again. Sometimes she found herself waiting for the touch to come but at the same time knowing it never would. Her body was still telling her she never slept alone, especially as she was in his own bed; and when she was only half awake she caught herself reaching out for him. The first time she did that had nearly killed her.

Within a moment she was transported back to the first time they had made love. He had been so gentle and loving she had cried with the intensity of it from the moment he lowered her onto the bed. The memory of his hands caressing her trembling body as they writhed together was too much and she squeezed her eyes shut with a cry, jerking backward from the balcony and walking blindly into their room. She opened her eyes only to close them with a painful sob as they fell on the bed once more. For the briefest of seconds her craving mind had imagined he was there waiting for her between the sheets, that same lazy smile he always had on his face when she came to him.

Out of sheer desperation to be free of the torturing memories she cried out again and dashed for the door, throwing it open and racing down the hall, paying little heed to those in her way. She didn't know where to go. Everywhere reminded her of him, although she had never seen him here to remember it. His spirit was still here even if he wasn't and she craved the familiarity. But she knew she had to get away somehow. If she didn't she would commit one of the worst crimes an elf could. She would throw herself from the nearest balcony, killing herself and their child. Hopelessness and the prospect of never-ending pain had driven her that far. She couldn't take much more of this.

Then a distant memory from what felt like a lifetime ago sparked in her mind and she saw for the first time something she had yearned for all the long weeks since her husband's death.

Peace.

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