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Enjoy!
Reality is Better than My Dreams
Bella's POV
I screamed. I yelled. I shouted. Even in my dreams I could not escape the nightmare of my life. I sobbed. I cried. I tasted the salty tears as they slipped down my cheeks. I was sitting on the hard dirt covered ground as my hands dug themselves so deep that my nails tore off and my fingertips were stained with blood. I looked at them. Froze. And then another cry racked though my body. I shook with fear and pain that I didn't notice Edward standing there watching this whole display. That's until I heard my name mumble through those lips of his. "Bella…I'm so…so sorry"
Then I woke up. The pain suddenly became all too real.
I rocked in my soft cold bed alone with my hands around my knees. As if I was trying to hold myself together. And that was partly true. I did feel like I was in pieces and that at any moment or time. My heart, body and mind were in pieces. So was my life.
My life. Nothing. My life is nothing without him. No days after the …the…that…was I able to recover. I could never really smile and no matter how hard I tried you could always see the dark sadness in my eyes that I tried so hard to stop. My always that pain from my life would seep into my eyes. Even in the way I looked. Lifeless. Soulless. Loveless. I wasn't a very nice sight to look at. And even still the boys kept talking to me as if Edward didn't exist. And sometimes I thought he didn't. Maybe he was just a piece of imagination I thought of to keep me here in forks. Maybe I had to make him do something so I could wake up into reality again. Maybe. But I doubt it.
I still sat on my bed as I sobbed out everything I held back at school today. I glanced at my clock. 3:23. or should I say yesterday. My tears were silent but the held so much emotion I was glad I could get them out before I burst. For an hour I cried. Slightly moving every ten minutes as I tried to get in a good position. Sometimes Edwards name would pass through my lips. Sometimes I could hear it. Sometimes I'd yell. And sometimes it only is loud enough for a vampire to hear. Vampire. One word. Stupid, stupid word.
I looked towards my open window but saw nothing but a black and starry night in my vision. There could have been a serial killer out there and I wouldn't have noticed. But there was thing I would notice. But I just couldn't be… could it?
Edward's POV
Bella. Crying. Screaming. Rocking back and forth. And all because of me. Me. venom stringed my cheeks as I came as close to crying as I would ever.
Then she looked at me.
Well maybe not at me but out the window. But still it was…unnerving. Her eyes seem to surpass the darkness to stare at me. And then. Without thinking. I leaned forward. Slowly. Then she could see me in the moonlight. Her eyes widened in shock and her jaw dropped. But the tears behind her eyes continued to fall. My love, I wanted to say, don't cry. But no I called her that name no more. Foolish, I said to myself. I should have stayed and cared for her. Now I have left her more broken then ever only because I was so stupid. 100 years and I still have not learnt everything. Suddenly her face fell and she said, "Edward". My love and life started to get up from her bed and walk towards the window.
Bella's POV
"Edward", no it couldn't be.
"I'm here… Love?" his voice was so beautiful. My mind did not do him justice.
I thought for a moment. He couldn't be real. My mind must have just imagined he had returned. He said he would never come back. He said I was to forget him. He said all those things. But then I thought, I'd rather be crazy then feel nothing at all. I would rather imagine then not having him here. So I simply played along for as long as this would go.
"I missed you" I really did
"Me too"
Edward's POV
I would have loved this moment. But I felt different. She wasn't Bella. She was a crazed Bella. The look that swept over her eyes was like she dived into her mind never to return.
"I am really here Bella."
"Sure you are" that explained it.
"No Bella I am here" a look passes over her mind as she thought. I was worried what would happen next. Would she send me away? Yell or scream at me. Cry again. Take me in. Maybe even forgive me.
"Prove it" I was shocked and relieved. I could stay and convince her but how was the million dollar question.
"Bella..." I kissed her. Softly at first and then she kissed me back harder and then kiss went on like that until I got in and carried both of us to the small bed. I forgot how good it felt to hold her in my arms and watch her sleep at night.
I broke apart from her with a smile on my face instead of the expecting slap I guess she would give me.
"Why are you smiling, that doesn't mean your real just that I have a great imagination" she smirked.
"Bella…After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me? I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly believed that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept—as if there were any way that I could exist without needing you! You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy"
By the end we were both sobbing. Me dry tears and hers as wet as the ocean. There was no word in our simple stupid English language that could describe this moment. The only thing I did after that is I held her in my arms and pressed my body against hers trying to be as close as possible. I looked down at her beautiful form and was shocked.
She was smiling at me. I smiled back. Love was great. Peaceful.
"Go to sleep love." I mumbled
"When you are in love you cannot sleep because reality is better than your dreams" Perfect.
Thanks for reading . Sorry I have been busy with a book of poems and quotes that I'm writing as well as reading a friend's 100 page book and writing my own. Sorry about the other story I'll be sure to update it sometime soon. Did I mention I also have a shit load of school stuff?
R&R
Eclipse_1901