Disclaimer: All places and characters referenced to the television show South Park are property of Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
"Alright, class," Mr. Garrison focused the attention of his fourth graders, "We're going to be doing something a little different for science class today. South Park's very own Rancher Bob has graciously donated a fresh pig fetus for us to dissect.
The class clamored with excitement.
"This is gonna be cool, huh Stan?" Kyle turned to his best friend.
"Yeah…," Stan sounded unsure.
Stan uneasily watched the teacher as he set up a table at the front of the class and adorned it with various medical tools.
"Gather around this front table and we'll get started," Garrison invited the kids up.
Everyone except Stan eagerly hopped out of their seats and rushed to get a good viewing place around the table – he got a spot at the back of the group near the desks behind Kyle.
Stan cringed as Garrison took the specimen out of a bag and put it on a tray in the middle of the table.
His stomach felt queasy.
"You feeling okay, dude?" Kyle looked at the other boy, his face a little pale.
Stan quickly nodded.
"The first thing we have to do before we can start sorting out the organs and other internal structures," Garrison picked up a scalpel, "is make an incision straight down the middle of the abdominal area."
He lowered the knife to the animal and buried it in the abdomen, blood oozed out as he cut.
The sight made Stan extremely lightheaded, his knees felt weak.
Everything went black.
Stan slowly opened his eyes.
The entire class was crowded around him looking down, Kyle was kneeling by his side.
"Jesus Christ, dude! Are you okay?!"
Stan's face tinged red with embarrassment as he looked up at everyone.
"Y-Yeah… I'm fine…," he sat up and quickly pulled himself to his feet.
Upon standing he felt woozy again, Kyle steadied him as he wobbled.
"Take it easy, dude. You're bleeding" Kyle sat him down, "You hit your head pretty hard on that desk when you fell," he pointed.
Stan looked a little dazed as he felt the back of his head and looked at his bloodied fingers.
"Kyle, can you take Stan to the nurse's office or should I call someone?" Garrison asked rather unconcerned.
"I'll get him there," Kyle assured.
"Come on, buddy," Kyle pulled Stan to his feet and escorted him out of the classroom.
"Kyle, seriously," Stan shrugged out of his friend's hand close to the nurse's office, "I'm fine… I don't need to go the nurse…"
"Your head is bleeding...," Kyle begged to differ.
"So let me get some paper towels and water from the bathroom and help me clean it up…?"
"You need to see the nurse," Kyle stated frankly.
"Please, Kyle…," Stan slid his back down a nearby locker to take a seat on the ground, "I feel fine… Don't take me to the nurse… If you take me to her she'll call my parents and I'll probably have to go the hospital… I hate the hospital," Stan was almost crying.
Kyle sat down next to his friend in the hallway and slung an arm around his shoulder, "If you think the nurse is going to send you to the hospital, do you really feel fine?"
Stan shook his head in honesty.
"It'll be okay," Kyle soothed, "You said it doesn't hurt too bad, right?"
"Not really…," Stan sniffled.
"It shouldn't be that bad, then… Just tough out being at the hospital and you get to relax the whole rest of the day. You won't have to take that Social Studies test this afternoon and I bet you get whatever you want for lunch today," Kyle smiled.
Stan wiped his eyes.
"I'll come see you after school, kay?" Kyle pulled Stan back to his feet.
"Kay…," Stan agreed.
Knock, knock, knock.
Kyle tapped on the door to Stan's room.
"Yeah…?" He called out.
Kyle walked in, "Hey, dude."
Stan was lying on top of his bed looking at the ceiling, his head was bandaged.
"How you doing?"
"I'm alright… My head just hurts a little bit."
"How was the hospital?" Kyle sat down on the edge of the bed.
"It sucked… They had to give me a few stitches and said I had a mild concussion."
"But you're okay, right?" Kyle asked, concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine… But I probably won't ever be able to show my face in school again after today," the boy tinged red again with embarrassment, recalling the ordeal.
"Why's that?" Kyle looked at his friend inquisitively.
"Because, dude!" Stan exclaimed, "I fainted at the sight of blood from that pig… What kind of boy faints at the sight of blood? Not even any of the girls had a problem with it…"
"You don't like cutting on dead animals and the sight of blood and the thought of having to go to the hospital makes you uncomfortable, so what?" Kyle shrugged, "You don't have to like or not be afraid of those things to be a boy. If you ask me, you sound more normal than the rest of us," he laughed.
"Oh, please… The guys are never going to let me live this down… I'll hear about this for the rest of forever. The whole school's gonna know me as the pansy fourth grade boy who fainted during a class dissection and gave himself a concussion on the way down…"
"That's not true… Almost everyone in class was worried about you when I came back. I don't know how many times I had to tell Kenny, Butters, Clyde, Craig, Jimmy, and Token you were alright after they asked."
"Really…?" Stan was surprised.
"Oh, yeah. The only person who even tried to rip on you – go figure – was Cartman and Wendy and some of the other girls looked like they were going to rip his tongue out."
Stan laughed.
"Everyone'll be glad to see you tomorrow and I doubt anyone will try to make fun of you except maybe Cartman."
Stan sighed in relief.
"I was going to text you earlier but I didn't have any time, that Social Studies test was a bitch!"
Stan smiled.
"Hey, speaking of which; what did you end up having for lunch?" Kyle continued.
"Mom got me a cheeseburger and a chocolate milkshake before we came home after the hospital."
"Lucky! We had chicken patties at school today," Kyle shivered in disgust.
"Ha! Sucks to be you!" Stan smirked.
Kyle rolled his eyes.
"I have till six before I got to be home. You feeling up to doing anything?"
"Well… The doctor said I can't do anything that requires a lot of thinking for at least the rest of today, including videogames," Stan frowned.
"Things that don't require a lot of thinking", Kyle repeated, "So… Anything you do on a day-to-day basis?" Kyle jeered, snickering.
"Hey!" Stan playfully hit Kyle in the back with his knee.
Both boys laughed.
"TV?" Kyle asked.
"Mom's watching her show right now."
"Well…," Kyle rummaged around in his backpack before pulling out a book, "I could read you some of the book Garrison assigned us today. It wouldn't be much thinking for you if I read it." He held up the book.
"A book, really…?" Stan groaned, making himself comfy on his bed. "Okay…"
Kyle flipped open the book and began to read aloud: The day Shiloh come, we're having us big Sunday dinner. Dara Lynn's dipping bread in her glass of cold tea, the way she likes, and Becky pushes her beans up over the edge of her plate in her rush to get 'em down (Naylor, 1991, p. 9).
He continued reading for several minutes.
I nod. He's looking at me. He sees me there at the window and his tail starts to thump. I name him Shiloh (Naylor, 1991, p. 13).
Kyle looked away from the book and down at Stan.
He was fast asleep.
"Jesus, Stan…," Kyle whispered, "This was listen-because-we-have-a-quiz-tomorrow time, not a bedtime story…"
Kyle put his things away and quietly walked over to the door.
He looked back at his friend and smiled while shaking his head before he turned out the light and closed the door.
Reference:
Naylor, P. R. (1991). Shiloh. New York, NY: Atheneum ;.