Hi guys. While in the process of writing the No Goodbye sequel, an idea was hatching in my mind. Can you recall the Spongebob Squarepants episode: "Dunces and Dragons"? I don't know why, but I feel like I should do a Gravity Falls version based on that episode. This will be a two-part story, with lines from the original episode being present. I plan to change the majority of the storyline as it goes, so things will be quite interesting. The cast goes as follows:

Spongebob=Dipper
Patrick=Mabel
Squidward=Soos (named altered to Sooshiro)
Sandy=Wendy
Mr. Krabs=Preston Northwest
Pearl=Pacifica Northwest
Plankton=Gideon (named altered to Gideonamo)
The Dragon=Bill Copher
Blacksmith=Grenda
Stan as himself

I rated this T for mentions of death.

Disclaimer: Spongebob Squarepants and Gravity Falls do not belong to me; they belong to their respectful owners

-Williebadger618

To Slay A Demon

"Grunkle Stan, you can't seriously be going through with this." Twelve-year-old Dipper Pines stated in disbelief as he and his great uncle walked out the back door of the Mystery Shack, towards the backyard. Gravity Falls' very own, Mr. Mystery, was just about to unveil his newest attraction; Medieval Reenactments. The idea had been swimming through his mind for weeks, trying to figure out what he could do to cause more people to stop by the shack and fork over their money. The tours have been running dry recently since the middle of summer; probably because Stan became too lazy to make his tours more interesting. Instead of having Soos make new attractions, he just had him create an entire medieval arena in the backyard. Soos was able to get the entire arena built in less than a month. How? I have no idea. Hopefully he had help.

"I am, kid." Grunkle Stan replied as he walked over towards the entrance with his great nephew, continuously counting up all the money he had made from dumb-witted tourists. "This new attraction is going to put the Mystery Shack back on top. I mean, come on, who doesn't like seeing goons dressed up in medieval wear, jousting for attention?" The two of them stepped inside the entrance, where Soos met him by the front door. He held a king costume that Stan would put on momentarily. Wendy was inside a ticket booth next to Soos, greeting the last bit of customers to the arena, taking their money to exchange for tickets. Dipper annoyedly rolled his eyes at his Grunkle's statement, admitting this was the dumbest idea he had ever came up with. Stan though, only waved off the boy's regards, and took the king costume out of Soos' grasp.

"Who did you even hire to reenact these battles?" Dipper asked. Stan only tuned out the sweaty preteen's inquiries, and started making his way towards a staircase that would lead him to the throne seat within the walls of the arena. He turned his head towards the boy and sighed aloud.

"Listen, kid. I don't have time to play your "twenty questions" game or whatever. Why don't you just go grab some Mutton, and make your way to the arena and watch the show." Stan replied. Dipper rolled his eyes again in response as his Grunkle Stan ascended up the staircase; Soos following behind. Dipper placed his hands in his vest pockets, making grunting noises in the process. He approached Wendy at the ticket booth, where she sat in her chair, getting back to reading a magazine.

"This has to be the stupidest idea Stan has ever came up with. Don't you think?" Dipper asked, looking through the plexiglass window of the ticket booth. Wendy nodded.

"Of course, dude. And I was all down to not be a part of it. But that pesky old man threatened to cut my pay. And I refuse to go upstate to work at my cousin's logging camp. I had no choice." Wendy stated, closing her magazine.

"Hey, just be glad you're not one of those idiots who has to reenact a joust down there momentarily." Dipper retaliated, which made Wendy snort in return.

"Could you imagine yourself in that battle?" Wendy said, creating a mental image in her mind while stepping out of the ticket booth. She headed over towards the concession stand, and took out her wallet to pay for two legs of Mutton. Dipper followed her to the stand as he shook his head vigorously, now imagining himself in a medieval costume.

"I'm actually surprised Grunkle Stan didn't force me to be in this." Dipper said. "I wonder why he didn't."

"Beats me." Wendy responded as she handed the man behind the counter her money, in exchange for the Mutton. She handed one to Dipper as she made her way back inside the ticket booth. "You should probably go find a seat while you still can. The reenactment is suppose to be starting soon." Dipper nodded in response. He began to turn around and walk towards the same flight of stairs his own uncle took minutes earlier. "Let me know how the show went." Wendy shouted over towards the boy as he sent her a thumbs up, then walking up the staircase.

-=O=-

Horns blew through the air of the arena as Dipper managed to locate his sister within the audience. He scooted past several residence and tourists, trying his best not to trip over the guest's belongings or footwear. His sister, Mabel, left an opening seat next to her, waiting for him to cross the long line of audience members in the stands. Dipper finally managed to get to his seat, just as soon as the horns seized their noise.

"Where have you been, bro? I was literally the first person in this arena." Mabel said as she sat up in her seat. Dipper glanced at his piece of Mutton before setting it on his lap.

"I've spent the last fifteen minutes trying to find you within the audience. Plus I was talking with Wendy and trying to talk some sense into Grunkle Stan." Dipper responded. Mabel cocked her head confusingly towards her brother.

"Why talk sense into him?" Mabel inquired.

"Come on, Mabel. Do you really think this attraction is worth people to spend their money on? It doesn't make any sense to me. I think this is the dumbest idea our Grunkle has came up with." Dipper retaliated. He hoped Mabel would agree with his thoughts; yet she only gasped in shock and reciprocated her own thoughts towards her brother.

"You're kidding, right? This is the coolest thing I've ever been in. I never saw men battling against each other with staffs. I feel like I'm back in the 12th century. It's so fascinating." She responded as she looked out towards the arena, eyeballs enlarging with amazement and her hands folded together with her chin resting upon them. Dipper raised his eyebrows towards his twin and scoffed in response.

"Fascinating? Says the girl who barely passed Social Studies this past school year with a-" Dipper started, yet she cut him off.

"I told you never to bring that up." Mabel counterattacked as she waved her hand to her brother, who only laughed in response. Soon, the horns blew once more, indicating the show was about to begin. Dipper watched as his sister squirmed in her seat, eagerly awaiting for the joust to start. Dipper smiled faintly and leaned back in his own seat, taking his piece of Mutton and biting a bit off the bone. "Boy, this should be good." Dipper said in his mind half-heartedly.

A loud sound of microphone feedback bounced off the walls of the arena, as the lights dimmed down and Stan Pines rose from his throne in his king outfit. Dipper tried to fight back his laughter and resist choking on his piece of Mutton when he saw his Great Uncle in the getup. "Greetings fair patrons, and welcome to the Mystery Shack's newest attraction, Medieval Reenactments." Stan Pines announced as the entire arena erupted in the sound of applause and cheer.

"I'm your host, Mr. Mystery. And boy do we have a jousting show lined up for you tonight. So without waiting any longer, may I present the jousting of-" Stan started, yet was cut off by Soos who stood next to him, whispering something inaudible in his ear. The lights had returned from their previous position, as the arena started to grow louder in mumbles and questions.

"What's going on?" Mabel asked her brother who only shrugged in response. "I knew he would louse this up." Dipper muttered in his mind as he took another bite out of his piece of Mutton. Shortly after the delay, Stan came back on the microphone, apologizing for the unexpected interruption.

"It appears to me that the two people who were suppose to compete in the joust today, chickened out." The crowd gasped and starting booing and demanding refunds. Dipper only laughed to himself, knowing his uncle would lose all the money he made by selling tickets. "Hey, everyone just calm down." Stan said in the microphone. "Refunds will not be an option. Because you will see a show. I would like to ask for two audience members, to come forth and participate in the royal joust." Stan said.

"Yeah, like anybody in the audience would want to participate in the-" Dipper said to himself, but his thoughts were interrupted by his sister standing up in her seat, flailing her arms to get her Grunkle Stan's attention.

"ME! ME! PICK ME!" Mabel shouted at the top of her lungs. Dipper jumped in his seat and dropped his piece of Mutton on the ground, now covered by the germs and dirt, unable to eat. "Dangit." Dipper said to himself as he stared up at his sister, surprised at her unexpected outburst.

"Are you serious, Mabel?" Dipper said in a surprised tone.

"Yes I am!" Mabel responded to her brother, as she returned to grabbing her Great Uncle's attention. "PICK ME! OVER HERE! PUT ME IN! PICK ME!" Mabel had grabbed quite amount of people's attention as she continuously waved her arms in excitement, hoping she would get picked.

Albeit known, her Great Uncle picked up on his great niece's pleads and screams as he looked up towards her direction. He mentally laughed to himself, knowing that Mabel would always be the first to participate in something fun. Stan noticed Mabel waving her arms as her brother sunk in his seat, shielding his face from the crowd that has grown around his sister. Mabel was always good getting people's attention, but never good at gathering an audience. Stan brought the microphone up to his lips, and cleared his throat.

"It appears that the girl in the shooting star sweater is one of our lucky contestants tonight." Stan announced as he made it out like he's never seen the girl before in his life. He watched as Mabel shot her fists up in the air in satisfaction as the audience clapped for the young lady.

"I'm gonna be watching the joust. I'm gonna be watching the joust." Mabel sang as she rose from her seat and started making her way towards the actual arena. Little did she know, she was actually participating in the battle, not watching it.

"Good luck, sis!" Dipper shouted from the stands. "Hmm...I wonder who Stan will pick to battle against her." Dipper thought to himself, not even giving the competition any thought. He heard more feedback coming from the microphone as Stan turned it back on.

"For the competitor, I think I'll have that boy who was sitting next to the girl in the sweater." Stan replied. Once again, Dipper jumped in his seat when that announcement was made. "Wait, me?!" Dipper said in his mind. A fear of dying soon flooded through his body when he learned he was in this joust. He didn't want to be in this. In fact, he didn't even want to come to the arena in the first place. He was practically forced to come by his Grunkle Stan.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Dipper shouted in anger and fear. He heard his Grunkle Stan laugh in the microphone as his response. When the announcement rang through the walls of the arena, his sister came back to the stands and pride her brother out of his seat. Dipper attempted to fight off Mabel's grasp, but he was too weak. If he's weak to even keep himself from leaving his seat, he knew he was sure enough to end up in a hospital tonight.

"Come on, bro! This will be so much fun!" Mabel said as she took her brother by his arm and pulled him down towards the arena with her. Dipper only grumbled in response as they descended down the staircase. The two of them entered into the arena battlefield where two guards were waiting for them. Dipper looked around the audience in awe, collecting a snapshot as to how big the entire structure was. He couldn't believe he got in this mess. All because Mabel had to volunteer. "I bet Stan didn't even hire people to compete in the joust in the first place." Dipper thought to himself. "I swear this was planned." His stomach flipped in knots as he was pulled along by his sister towards the guards.

"Isn't this exciting, Dipper?" Mabel said as she pulled the sweaty preteen along with her. "To think, we'll be watching the joust this close up."

"Um, Mabel..." Dipper tried to say, but he was cut off by a guard who had a medieval costume in his hand. The second guard had a similar medieval costume draped over his arm, while his other hand held two swords the twins would be using for the battle.

"You won't be watching the joust. You're in the joust." The first guard said as he handed the costumes over to the twins.

"We're in the joust?" Mabel said in a confused tone. She swore she heard the word "watch" in stead of "participate". But despite the fact she was in the joust with her brother, it still brought joy to her eyes and persona. "Too cool!"

-=O=-

Dipper clung to the saddle of a horses back as a shield was fastened to his arm. A sword was placed in his other hand as he felt he would tip off from the horse's back any second. Mabel on the other hand, seemed very fascinated to the fact she was in the joust. She couldn't contain her excitement as a guard fastened a shield to her own arm, and handed her a matching sword like her brother had. Dipper gulped in fear as he glanced over towards his sister.

"Mabel, do you know how to ride a horse?" Dipper asked in concern.

"No. But it can't be too hard to figure out." She said with a smile. Her feelings of excitement about being a part of the battle soon turned into fear when the twins identical horses unexpectedly bellowed in anger, and started trotting along to opposite ends of the arena. The audience members within the stands started to cheer with excitement, knowing they were in for a treat. After several minutes of walking to opposite sides of the battlefield, both horses turned around simultaneously, facing one another.

Dipper's horse snorted in anger, as he gulped in fear. "Uh, hey horsey." Dipper said gently to the animal that seemed to prance at any given moment. "By any chance, do you think you can go easy for this battle? I'm a beginner." As in response, the horse bellowed once more in anger as it began galloping towards Mabel. Dipper clutched onto his seat, as Mabel's horse took off prancing towards her brother. She accidentally dropped her staff as she clutched to the saddle, holding on for dear life.

"Dipper, help!" Mabel called to her brother as the horse picked up speed. The crowd only continued to grow louder in excitement as the joust officially started. Mabel was scared out of her wits end, wanting a total out of this jousting competition. She was over it. She just wanted to return to her seat, and watch two other people compete in the joust instead. Wasn't there an age restriction in the rules? Oh, why did she have to jump on this opportunity?

An expression of fear continued to flood through Dipper's body as the horse grew closer towards his unarmed sister. He wanted an out too. "I don't suppose now would be a good time to ask for a bathroom break!" Dipper yelled over the cheers of the audience. His staff pointed towards the direction of the ongoing horse and his twin as his sister took her shield that was fastened to her arm, and attempted to protect her body from the sharp pain that would soon come to her. Both twins closed their eyes, not wanting to be introduced to pain when the horses collided with one another.

A sound of the sword made contact with the metal shield as the animals finally ran into each other. The force of the impact was so strong, that both twins were thrown backwards. Dipper saw his sister being tossed up into the sky, flying out of the arena. Thank goodness there wasn't a roof on the arena, or else Mabel would have been seriously injured.

"MABEL!" Dipper screamed, as he extended his arm out towards his sister's direction. Obviously worried about his sister's safety, the agitated horse unexpectedly grew angrier by the second as it tossed Dipper up in the sky, just like Mabel, in the same direction she was thrown towards. Both twins were thrown out of the arena, yet the cheers and screams of the audience grew louder by the second in delight.

-=O=-

The preteen girl made instant contact with the ground, sustaining nothing but scratches on her body. She rubbed her head in pain, glad that she was done flying through the sky. Not even after being up on her feet for more than fifteen seconds, a screaming sound was heard, coming closer as time ticked by. It wasn't long after the scream was right on top of her, and she made physical contact with the ground once more. The only difference this time, was that a weight of a body now rested on her back. The body, who turned out to be her brother, rolled off of her, as the two of them stood up, and made eye contact with each other.

"Oh, man. That hurt." Mabel responded as she rubbed her head once more.

"Yeah, same here." Dipper said as he rubbed his shoulder in pain. "Are you okay? Sorry I landed on you." Dipper replied apologetically.

"Meh, I've been worse." Mabel replied, brushing the dirt that ended up on her medieval clothes. "And besides, you can't blame gravity for causing you to fall on top of me."

"Yeah, I'll blame those dang horses we were on." Dipper stated. "Why were they so agitated?"

"I wish I knew." His sister replied. Suddenly, the twins heard a vibration on the earth's soil as a huge mob of soldiers and knights on horses began galloping their way towards the them. The two of them stood still as statues as they came closer. They were already in a lot of pain; they did not wish to be in any more.

"Who are they?" Mabel asked. Dipper didn't respond; he just kept his sister behind him as the cluster of men pointed swords towards the duo.

"Arrest these traitors, for committing the act of witchcraft, by falling from the sky." The leader of the pact said. Witchcraft? Dang, what salary was their Great Uncle Stan trying to give them? Dipper took his finger and touched the pointy sword, surprised to feel how real it actually was. His sister remained behind him, clutching onto his shoulders as the weapons drew closer towards them. Dipper believed this entire encounter with the soldiers and the knights was just part of the act. There must have been a camera hidden somewhere so that the entire arena was watching the scene unfold.

"Wow, they really go that extra mile for authenticity." Dipper commented in an impressed tone. He then raised his medieval hat off from his head, in a greeting gesture. "Salutations, fellow knights."

The leader of the pact raised his sword up in the air, getting ready to strike. "Silence, heathen." The knight yelled, striking his sword so it cut off Dipper's hat. Dipper jumped back in fright as his sister held onto him. The remains of Dipper's hat fell to the ground with a thud. He then got angry towards them; hands turning into fists.

"Hey man! What's the purpose of that?" Dipper inquired with his nostrils flaring. Instead of the knight replying, he got off the horse's saddle and approached the twins, putting shackles on their wrists. They then turned around, leading them to a castle where they would be imprisoned in a dungeon. As the twins drew closer towards the castle, Dipper couldn't help but think how much the fortress resembled a lot like the Northwest Mansion. He couldn't believe he was in this mess with his sister. First a jousting tournament ending up going horribly wrong, then being accused of witchcraft, and now, being taken prisoner in the dungeon of a replica of the Northwest Mansion? This entire act has gone on far enough. Dipper wanted to figure out how he could get himself free, but even if he tried, he was most likely weak to take on the guards. He figured to just go on with the act until they make it to the dungeon. Then, its escape time.

-=O=-

The two twins were physically thrown in the cell by a huge muscle-man guard. They made immediate contact with a concrete wall as they leaned back towards it in fright. "Nighty-night, ladies." The beefy guard said as he shut the dungeon door, blocking the only amount of light to see with. "You'll have many more in here." The guard added on, laughing menacingly. Dipper clutched his hands into fists once more and stomped on the ground in anger.

"I'm a boy!" He yelled in frustration. Dipper then took a seat next to his sister and looked around the dungeon. He tried to see the objects that hung from the ceilings and walls. There were millions of shackles, weapons, and even several skeleton replicas. Dipper still believed this was all an act; that this was all part of the show Grunkle Stan made for the new attraction. He had to give him credit though; many of these props seemed real and convincing.

The sweaty preteen then turned his gaze towards his sister, where she seemed to be frightened by the outcomes so far. She twiddled her thumbs as she looked down at her lap, shaking a little. Dipper placed a hand on her shoulder which made his sister turn her head to him. "Don't worry, Mabel. We'll get out of here." He said. "This is all just an act so Grunkle Stan can get more money. None of this is real."

"But Dipper," Mabel said as she shifted her body so she was now resting on her knees. Dipper removed his hand from her shoulder and let it drape across his stomach. "everything here seems so real. I feel like we went back in time somehow. How can you be certain this is fake?" Mabel replied, worriedly. Dipper thought to himself and looked around the cell once more trying to think of ways to show his sister this was all fictional. As if on cue, Dipper and Mabel heard the sound of a man humming to himself in a dark corner of the dungeon. The two of them flinched as Mabel clutched onto her brother once more in fear. The twins stood up and walked towards the man; Dipper's sister staying behind him as they got closer.

The twins saw a man who resembled a lot like their hairless gopher man child friend, Soos. He was dressed in a court jester outfit, and in the process of fixing up a pair of shackles that hung down from the ceiling. "Aw man, dude. I'm great at fixing stuff. It's better than telling jokes or singing songs to the king. I hope someday, my own great great great great great great great grandson will develop this personal trait, and fix anything that is broken." The man said. But the second after he spoke to himself, the pair of handcuffs he worked on fell from the ceiling, creating a clanging sound as it made contact with the ground. "Eh, close enough."

Mabel loosened her grip on her brother as Dipper laughed aloud. The man turned and faced the twins with a puzzling expression on his face. "Yo, Soos! What are you doing here?" Dipper exclaimed.

The man cocked his head slightly, looking around the room confused, before turning back to the identical children. "Dost thou talketh to me?" The man inquired, which only made Dipper laugh out loud once more.

"That's funny, Soos." Dipper replied. He then made a similar facial expression and mocked the man playfully. "Dost thou talketh to me?" The twelve-year-old burst into laughter again.

The man child folded his arms across his chest as he glared down at the boy who mocked him. "Scoff not, young squire. Thou has mistaken me for another. I am Sooshiro, the king's royal fool. Or at least I was, until I royally messed up." Mabel and Dipper looked at one another with identical puzzling faces, before returning their gaze back on the man named Sooshiro.

"How did you mess up?" Mabel asked, now interested in his wrongdoing.

"I'll show you." Sooshiro replied, taking a pitch pipe out of the pocket of his court jester outfit. He cleared his throat and blew into it, causing a tune to be played, before putting it away.

"I was the kings favorite fool,
I made merry mirth and laughter.
But I told one bad joke,
And the king had a stroke,
Now I hang from ye olde rafter."

Sooshiro sang which made both twins laugh.

The sounds of giggling subsided to a close when Dipper and Mabel's stomachs growled in unison. "What does a girl have to take to get some food around here? I'm starving!" Mabel cried as she grew annoyed with the lack of food. The final thing she ate was from last night back at the Mystery Shack. Her Grunkle Stan made his version of Sloppy Joe's for dinner. And it wasn't even that good.

Dipper clutched his stomach and nodded back to his sister's statement. "I had some Mutton earlier. And I would still have it, if it didn't fall to the ground and get dirty. And it was a shame; it was really good too!" He exclaimed in disappointment.

Sooshiro walked over towards them and scoffed. "Don't hold thy breath. We'll be lucky to be fed again by the twelfth century." Mabel's eyes enlarged when she heard "twelfth century". She had told her brother earlier that she felt they went back in time. And with all the clues she has seen so far, there may be a chance they were sent back in time. She elbowed her brother on the side of his stomach, making him screech in pain. She sent a glare to him as he massaged his now bruise ribs.

"What did I tell you, bro?" Mabel began as she sent him a death stare. "Twelfth century? A king? Soos' name being changed to Sooshiro? We've been sent back in time!" She exclaimed.

Dipper placed his hand on Mabel's shoulder once more as an act in comfort, shaking his head. "Mabel, this is all an act. Soos is playing a character. The king is most likely Grunkle Stan in that getup. We're not in the twelfth century. It's all a publicity stunt." He replied. His sister looked down at her shoes with a glum expression appearing on her face. Dipper sighed in defeat as he looked back up at the beefy man child. "Boy, you really take your role playing seriously, huh?" Dipper commented.

Sooshiro had another confused expression etched on his face. "Role playing? What dost you mean?"

Suddenly, a huge explosion was heard from outside the dungeon walls, causing bits of concrete to fall towards the three prisoners. Mabel grabbed onto Dipper tightly in fright, shaking in his grasp. He returned the hold on his sister as the two of them looked up towards the ceiling in wonder and fear. "Wh-what's that?" Mabel asked in her brother's arms.

Sooshiro took out his pitch pipe once more before breaking into song again.

"The evil demon, Bill Cipher is here,
See the townsfolk scream with fear.
See the residents try to run,
I can tell this won't be fun.
Bill Cipher will destroy anything.
Anything he can see
Hospitals, Schools, Retirement Homes
While tuning out everybody's pleas."

From above, a huge triangle demon with a medieval silver hat begins rolling into town, laughing hysterically and destroying everything sight. Many of the houses the townsfolk lived in, were burned to a crisp. Shop's and emporiums burned to the ground. Townsfolk ran away in fear from the torches coming from Bill's fingers. The land turned into nothing but a dead valley, with heavy black smoke rising in the air.

The thought of Bill Cipher now making an appearance in this timeline brought Mabel to a shortness of breath. She began to hyperventilate in Dipper's arms while her brother attempted to calm her down. He rubbed her shoulder as an act to calm her down. But her emotions were getting the better of her. "Mabel, calm down."

"Calm down? Even in this century, Bill Cipher is in this world!" Mabel exclaimed grabbing onto Dipper's shirt.

"It's all just an act." Dipper said for the umpteenth time. Mabel grew tired of hearing that statement, which caused his sister to aggressively grasped onto her brother's medieval costume tighter, pulling his face closer to hers. Her nose twitched in anger. She snarled like a rabid animal. Her strength was much more powerful than her twin's, and he looked scared to be in the room with her at this moment in time.

"Just an act? Then tell me, Dipper. If this is all just an act, then why would Grunkle Stan bring that evil...nacho nemesis demon into the story line? Why would knights come and arrest us for witchcraft? Why would Stan make Soos talk in this crazy English language? There's no such thing as "thou" or "dost" or...or...whatever other word he was saying. WE WENT BACK IN TIME!" Mabel screamed. She then pushed him away from her as she sunk to the ground, grabbing a hold onto her knees and pulling them up to her chest. She buried her head in-between her legs, entering her version of sweater town. The only difference this time was that she had no sweater to hide in.

Dipper laid on the ground, startled by his sister's immediate outburst. He thought to himself in silence, knowing that his sister did have a point with Bill. Stan would never put a dream demon in with a medieval story line. Maybe the two of them really did end up back in time. However, everything else seemed phony and fictitious. Between the set up of the dungeon, and the weapons used through several occasions, nothing just seemed to be real. Besides, neither one of them even saw Bill from above. They just heard laughter that sounded like him. He couldn't be certain if him and his sister actually went back in time.

All of a sudden, the locks from the dungeon door were undone, and the gateway was thrust opened. The trio looked through the doorway, seeing the same hotheaded guard that threw the twins in the cell when they first came here. Dipper instantly returned to his feet and approached his sister to help her up to a standing position. She sent her brother a pissy facial expression, but he pretend he didn't notice. The guard glared at the three of them, clenching his fists. "The king wants a word with you two." He demanded, referring to the twins.

Two smiles appeared on the identical sibling's faces as they made their way out of the dungeon. However, Dipper stopped in his tracks and turned back towards Sooshiro. He grew depressed, knowing the twins had an out for some time, while he would remain in the cell, alone. Coming up with a plan, Dipper walked out of the dungeon, raising his hand up to halt the guard from the shutting the door.

"Wait. We don't leave without Soos. I mean, Sooshiro." Dipper stated with his hands on his hips.

"Why should I take him?" The guard reciprocated.

Crap, Dipper didn't think of a reason why. Even though he only knew Sooshiro for several minutes, he was able to make up a quick lie, in order to bring him with them. "Because...uh...Sooshiro has thought of some brand new jokes and songs he just couldn't wait to share with the king." Dipper responded, then turning his head back towards the man-child. "Isn't that right, Sooshiro?" He nodded in response, happy he was able to leave the dungeon with the kids.

"Absolutely." Sooshiro said, running out of the dungeon. He then cleared his throat and was about to blow the pitch pipe once more, yet Dipper stopped him before it was too late.

"Sooshiro, maybe you should wait for the king to hear that."

"Suit thine-selves. Thou dost not knowest what thou art missing." Sooshiro replied, placing the pitch pipe back in his court jester pocket, and walking along side Dipper and the guard.

"Oh sure, just make any words up to speak with. That's smart!" Mabel yelled in annoyance as she walked ahead of them, still mad at her brother.

-=O=-

"Oh, woe is me! Woe is me! Woe is me!" King Preston shouted as he paced back and forth in the throne room. He seemed emotionally wrecked; covering his eyes, trying his best not to bawl out in tears. Stress appeared to be eating away at him, bit by bit as he grew more constipated and upset. His twelve-year-old daughter, Pacifica Northwest, watched from the sidelines as her father continuously walked back and forth, his tension increasing. "What to do! What to do!"

Having enough of King Preston's inaudible strains of distress, Pacifica decided to jump in and find out what may be troubling him. "Father, what art thou going on about now?"

"Oh, just the same old thing, dear daughter." King Preston replies while pointing towards an open window of the castle. The view of the window showed a complete sight of his nemesis' evil castle. "It's just that wretched wizard, Gideonamo. His insidious demon has destroyed half of the kingdom. Soon there will be no more townsfolk to tax. I'll be in ruins. I won't have enough money to fill my pockets with or spend it on anything I want! And none of me best knights has been able to defeat him!" King Preston exclaims. He then clutches onto his arm as he suddenly goes faint. He stumbles back onto his throne, letting the little stroke pass by his system.

Pacifica shook her head, unhappy with her father's current condition. "Father, you must relax. Remember your blood pressure."

"Well how can I calm myself down when my money is at stake?!" King Preston yelled, burying his face in his hands. Pacifica rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Not everything is about money." Pacifica said under her breath. Unfortunately, she didn't say it as quietly as she thought, because her father rose from his seat and stood over his daughter, causing her to flinch.

"Listen here, missy..." He began but was soon interrupted by an incoming henchman approaching the duo. Preston returned to his throne, pretending to dust off something from his king uniform as Pacifica returned to her normal standing position from before. She kept her hands behind her back respectfully as the henchman stopped just feet away from them. "Your highness, the dungeon master has brought the prisoners you asked for." The henchman replied.

"Well don't just stand there. Send them in." Preston replied in an annoyed tone.

"Sure thing, your highness." The henchman replied, emphasizing the "s" in "highness". The henchman then retreated from the king's headquarters by walking backwards and glaring towards King Preston. He and Pacifica were left alone, staring at each other blankly as the right-hand man escorted the trio of Dipper, Mabel, and Sooshiro up to the king, with mutual expressions on their faces.

"Preston Northwest? You're the king?" Dipper Pines stated aloud. He couldn't believe his Grunkle Stan got the richest person in town to play the role as the king. How was that even possible? Stan doesn't give his money away; he takes it and keeps it to himself. King Preston growled angrily towards the sweaty preteen while his hand clutched onto his golden staff. It was as tall as he was, with a "P" placed on top and bedazzled with gems all around it.

"How dare you bark in that tone with me, knave! I am the feared ruler of this kingdom, and will be addressed as such." Preston retaliated. Dipper annoyedly rolled his eyes which caused his sister to elbow him once more on the side of his stomach. Mabel wanted him to apologize for his disrespectfulness, and so he did, only half-heartedly. Mabel then rolled her own eyes, knowing her brother didn't really mean his apology to the king. They were in a castle, speaking to an all powerful human being on top of the chain; Dipper still only believe this was all part of the show.

"And why have you brought this fool back in me throne room?" King Preston replied agitatedly, referring to Sooshiro. Dipper and Mabel looked back towards the man-child as he nervously got down on his knees, and bowed towards the kingdom ruler.

"If your majesty be so kind, I think I may have a song or a joke that will answer all your questions." Sooshiro replied as he looked towards King Preston. Although irritated with the royal fool's attempts to please him, he grew tired of Sooshiro asking for his forgiveness...on a daily basis. King Preston groaned aloud as he slapped his hand on his face. He moved his hand down his face, pinching the bridge of his nose in the process.

"Alright. Alright. But this is your last chance, fool." King Preston agreed against his subconscious. Sooshiro, stood up on his feat and nodded back towards the ruler with a smile on his face.

"Oh thank you, sire. Thank you. You won't be disappointed." Sooshiro said as he extended his arm up in honesty. "Which one would you prefer to hear?"

Preston placed his index finger on his chin as he pondered to himself for a brief period of time. "Hmm...I wish to hear the song." King Preston replied while snapping his fingers.

"Nobody wants to hear my jokes." Sooshiro replied sadly. Shaking his head to get the thought to disappear, he took out his pitch-pipe once more and broke into song that will hopefully please the king.

"Oh hear me king
For I must sing
How you are the greatest at everything
Like letting a demon burn down our city
A horrible sight that wasn't pretty
Twas all your fault and tis a pity
You are bad
You are to blame
Now hang your kingly head in shame
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
The king is bad
The king's to blame
He hang's his kingly head in shame
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la"

At first, King Preston enjoyed the lyrics at the beginning, mentioning how great he was at everything he did. But as the song continued, the court jester went on about how the demon burning down the town was all his fault. King Preston had no plan to defeat the demon; nor did he had a plan to defeat the evil wizard. As the song reached a closing, he disliked the fact how Sooshiro danced around the room, singing the song, blaming him for a mistake that he had no control over of.

As Sooshiro sang the song, the twins stood on the sidelines while he performed for the king. Dipper enjoyed the fact how Sooshiro was technically blaming everything going wrong to the king. His sister kept eyeing Dipper, while he laughed at the the fool's song lyrics. Mabel tried to stop her brother from giggling, seeing how aggravated the king was getting with the song. But her attempts failed when Dipper joined in on the last verse with Sooshiro. Mabel stayed on the sidelines, nervously beginning to bite her nails. Dipper had the time of his life; getting the opportunity to make Preston feel bad about himself. Dipper has wanted to do that to him since the first time he saw the guy in town. He's nothing but a snot-nose turd who thinks is stuff don't stink. No one had the guts to stand up to Preston Northwest...until today.

When the song ended, and the boys broke into laughter, King Preston clutched onto his golden staff once more, angrily. His entire body shook with rage, acting like a time bomb about to explode any minute. "GUARDS!" He shouted. Two guards ran up behind Dipper and Sooshiro as another henchman ran up to Mabel who was still standing on the sidelines. "Send these slanders to the guillotine."

Dipper, Mabel, and Sooshiro gasped in horror and were forced to turn around, facing a curtain. A henchman pulled the rope, revealing the sharp, wooden killing mechanism from behind. The guards gave the prisoners a demonstration as to how they would be introduced to death. A pineapple took place of a human body, while another guard pulled the lever, releasing the sharp blade from above. It made direct contact with the pineapple, splitting it into two; the one side acting as a head falling into a basket. The three of them shivered in fear as the guards took hold of the executioners.

Mabel tried speaking out to the king in hopes to rethink his decision. "Wait, you don't understand. We're not from here."

"That's because, you're witches. You were sent by Gideonamo, to destroy me." King Preston contradicted. Mabel shook her head in disagreement towards him.

"No! We're time travelers!" Mabel replied, which caused her brother to release a defeated sigh.

"Mabel, how many times to I have to tell you?" Dipper vexed. "We are in a show. We didn't time travel and we are not going to die."

Mabel sent a look of anger towards her brother. "Yes we did, Dipper! I know we did! I know Grunkle Stan would not add in a killing spree to the show. And I know he would never put Bill Cipher into the mix. Why can't you just believe me?"

"Why should I?!" Dipper yelled towards her, fed up with his sister's imagination. He looked over at her, seeing her expression change from anger to hurt. Her brother instantly felt bad for screaming at her, and attempted to apologize, but the king cut in.

"Alright, I'm through playing around." The king exclaimed as he jumped out of his seat and thrust a fist into the air. He sent the guards to take them away to the guillotine. The three guards lifted up Dipper, Mabel, and Sooshiro, and began making there way towards the death machine. However, King Preston stopped them at the last second. "Leave the girl and take her back to the dungeon. I have some plans for her. Execute the boys."

With new orders given, the one henchman who grabbed Mabel turned around and started making his way out of the throne room while the two other guards continued to take Dipper and Sooshiro to the guillotine. Despite how angry the twins were at each other, Dipper and Mabel made several attempts to escape the guard's grasps and reach one another. The two of them always feared the thought of separation. And unfortunately, their fear was coming true. The henchman's grasps were far more harder to get out of, no matter how many times the twins kicked and struggled to get free. Dipper and Mabel were dragged away from each other; the guard leaving the throne room with the preteen girl.

Pacifica, staying quiet the entire time during the prisoner's visit to the king, instantly felt guilt and displeasure surface in her body. She approached her father in hopes to talk some sense into him. "Father, you must spare them!" Pacifica pleaded. Preston only shook his head, disagreeing with his daughter.

"They made a mockery of my kingly ways. They shall suffer in the afterlife with their decisions they chose to display in this room tonight." King Preston replied, crossing his arms against his chest. Pacifica shook her head vigorously, disapproving his choice.

"Father, please! Has thou forgotten about the prophecy?"

"What prophecy?" The ruler replied dumbfounded.

Pacifica then made a gesture towards the three stain-glass windows that rested above the king's throne. "The one right above your head."

"How long has that been there?" The king responded in disbelief. The prophecy showed three stain-glass windows which held a story. The first window showed two people who looked like the young Dipper and Mabel Pines, falling from the sky. The second window showed the king himself, looking down towards the two twins bowing down before him. The last window showed them attacking the triangular demon with the psychic wizard, Gideonamo down in the corner. His daughter rolled her eyes and went on to tell him the prophecy's full legacy.

"The story tells of two brave young knights who fall from the sky, and are sent by the king, to rid the lamenting town of the evil demon controlled by the psychic wizard." Pacifica exclaimed. "Father, don't you get it? It's them! These strangers have come to rescue us. Like in the prophecy."

Unexpectedly, the prophecy was in ruins when the visit of the triangular demon burst through the newly made entry way. Pacifica and King Preston shield their faces from the falling glass and debris, lucky to not be stabbed or injured by anything. The guards who were standing on the sidelines, and the ones who were just about to decapitate one of the prisoners flinched in the surprised attack. They then grabbed their weapons and staffs as they approached the demon ready to fight. Even the one who dragged Mabel out of the room, ran back to fight off the monster. Bill Cipher, looking down at the puny humans, laughed hysterically at the destruction he recently caused.

"How dare you defile my house, demon!" King Preston yelled. Bill only laughed menacingly once more as he shot a torch out of his fingers, causing the ruler to be flown across the room. Some of the guards went to help the fallen king onto his feet while the rest of the henchman went to attack the demon.

Dipper and Sooshiro saw from the view of the guillotine, the battle between the guards and Bill. Dipper had to admit; seeing Bill Cipher in this time frame was quite unusual to him. And his sister did have a point. Their Grunkle Stan doesn't even know who Bill is. The odds of him evening summoning the triangular nacho, playing an evil monster doesn't make sense. Maybe Dipper's sister was right...they did go back in time. Dipper had to go and find his sister and apologize for not believing her.

"Sooshiro, come with me. We have to find my sister." Dipper says now running towards the exit of the throne room. However, as the two of them got closer towards the door, it surprisingly burst opened by Mabel Pines, running in to find her brother and save him from being killed. Instantly, Dipper called out to her, attempting to get her attention. Over the sounds of screaming and weapons being thrown towards the demon, she heard the cries from her brother. She made eye contact with him, as she immediately started running towards her brother. Unfortunately though, just before she was about to jump into her twin's arms, the monster reached his hand down and grabbed Mabel around her waist.

"Mabel!" Dipper screamed, extending his arm out in attempts to reach her. Bill only cackled aloud again, as Mabel attempted to escape the tight grasp of the demon. "Let her go! Release her!" Dipper exclaimed as he ran towards the demon to fight. But he was picked up by the triangular nacho and thrown to the other side of the room. He made instant contact with the floor, head hitting the ground first. He sat up and rubbed his head in pain. Sooshiro ran towards the fallen preteen, helping him to his feet. The duo looked up and saw Bill retreating from the kingdom with Mabel tightly in his grasp.

"Dipper, help!" Mabel screamed towards him. Dipper started running again towards her direction, but he was too late. She was gone.

"Mabel!" He yelled back; his face buried in his hands and falling to his knees. "No!"

King Preston screamed in anger, throwing his staff to the ground. "This is preposterous! Can no one stop this madness!? Can no one defeat that monster?!" The king yelled in defeat. From afar, the king saw the small boy who had sulked to his knees, stand up and stare at the newly made hole in the wall. His hands clenched into fists with his knuckles turning white. A facial expression of revenge and anger soon etched across the young boy's face. Dipper then turned around and approached King Preston, with Sooshiro following behind afterwards.

"I will." Dipper responded sternly. King Preston looked back at the boy confused.

"You?" He replied. "But, you're just a kid."

"That monster took my sister. I can't just stay here while she's in danger." The young boy retaliated. King Preston looked down at the preteen, surprised he was actually considering to risk his own life to save his sister and take down the beast. Although it does not hurt to try and defeat the demon who has been causing havoc for as long as he could remember, it was a dangerous mission; a mission that the king didn't believe the boy could complete.

From the shadows, King Preston's daughter, Pacifica, came out of her hiding place from the attack and approached her father with her hands behind her back. "Father, he's the one. He and his sister. The ones from the prophecy." She exclaimed. She turned her head to see the first window of the prophecy still in tact. She pointed towards it as her father shifted his gaze from his daughter to the stain-glass window. King Preston looked between the young boy, and the boy sketched within the window. There was clearly a significance. "Let him do it."

King Preston returned his eye contact with the young boy who never broke his confident facial expression. "Young lad, I apologize on my behalf for almost sentencing you to death." He replied as he bowed towards Dipper. "May the angel's above grant you safety on your paralysis journey, to the psychic wizard's castle, from which no one has escaped alive. You are one of the chosen ones. Are you sure you are up for the challenge?"

Dipper looked at Sooshiro and the king's daughter before returning his gaze at the king himself. "I'm not leaving that castle without my sister." He replied earnestly. The King nodded once more.

King Preston then looked up towards the fool that has failed miserably to make him laugh or please him with his songs...or his singing in general. "Fool." He stated which caused Sooshiro to jump slightly and instantly bow down in respectfulness. "Go along with the young lad. He could probably use some levity. And a helping hand." The court-jester rose from his knees and bowed towards the king.

"Yes, sire." Sooshiro replied. Dipper began walking walking away from the King, with Sooshiro following him close behind. The two of them headed off towards the biggest journey they ever had to face. Probably the most important journey the sweaty preteen ever had to accomplish. But if it meant saving his sister, and freeing the town from the clutches of the nacho demon, then that's all that mattered in his book.

"Good luck, strange ones."

A/N: I just like to clarify some things. I know that in the original story line, the king's daughter was kidnapped by the monster. But I decided to change it to having Mabel be kidnapped since her and her brother are still kind of mad at each other.

Also, the majority of the lyrics that Squidward (Squidly) sang in the original episode, I know are in there. But I didn't alter them because I believed it fit in with the story so far.

And, I was originally going to have Stan act as the king but I put him as the king who owned the Medieval Reenactments attraction. So instead, I put in Preston Northwest as the king because in the original episode, the king had his daughter with him. That's how Pacifica comes in.

Speaking of the walking one dimensional bleach blonde valley girl stereotype, she will be playing a big part in part two.

Things are to get interesting in the second and final part of this mini-fanfic. I hope you enjoyed part one of To Slay A Demon. The next update won't be out for some time, since it took so long to write the first half. See you all in part two.

-Williebadger618