He didn't know why he decided to go up to her. He didn't know why he decided now, in a huge crowd, to talk to her. The only thing that he knew was what he was going to say. Really. He had even made a list of talking points.
However, as soon as she turned to look at him, he forgot every single thing on the list. And he couldn't get the list out-that wouldn't be cool, and he was nothing if not cool. Really, at this moment, as he was being emasculated, his coolness was all he had. Her eyebrows knitted together, and she looked at him inquisitively. He realized that he had been staring at her for a full minute without saying anything. He couldn't help thinking that when she looked at him like that, she looked like someone straight out of every guy's sexy librarian fantasy.
At that moment he was painfully aware of everything going on around him. It didn't feel like they were the only two people in the room- quite the opposite actually. He could hear the mindless chatter, feel bodies brush up against him as they passed. And still he didn't speak, just stared at her face, as if memorizing every last detail, as if this was the last time he would ever look upon a most prized possession. Behind him, someone elbowed him in the back, but still he did not turn around. But still he did not move. It was as if they were two people locked in the most competitive staring contest in the world, both determined to outlast the other and win. She scratched her ear, but didn't break contact. It was odd that still even the slightest movement by her could make him tense up. He wondered if she knew she had this effect on him.
Then suddenly, she broke the contest, lowering her eyes and shaking her head. She turned away and faded into the crowd- just one of the masses. And he was left staring into a crowd of people he didn't know, didn't want to know. He stared, as if expecting her to change her mind and appear before him again. Then, not breaking his gaze with the invisible person in front of him, he reached into his pocket and fished out a much folded piece of paper- the list. He carefully unfolded it, still not looking down. Only when he had completely unfolded the paper and had it spread out in front of him did he look down at it. On it were only two words-"I'm sorry".
Oh to have loved (and lost) a Gilmore Girl.