Title: Tag to Four Square
Author: Ashleyt and ZFehrian with additional commentary from DrankoftheSnapple.
Summary: Michael contemplates about Isabel's "pregnancy" and life in general.
Rating: PG-13 for a couple of bad words.
Disclaimer: We don't own anything but our imaginations.
Oh my God, Michael, what are we going to do?
Isabel's question continued to follow me, even after we'd gone our seperate ways to think and reflect about our current situation.
What were we going to do?
I wanted to run. Run away from Isabel, from the Evan's house and from who I was. Knocking up my best friends' sister, my sister, via weird alien dreams was never a situation I would have ever thought to find myself in.
And the worst part is that I've waited so long for some strange alien event to happen so I could prove to Max that we are different and deserve to seperate ourselves from humans. But...not this. Never this.
What could I do?
Being there for Isabel is just, it's just textbook to help her. Like an automatic reaction; my families hurt so I help them. Especially Isabel. My friend, family, the one person in the world that always made sure I ate and actually wanted to mother me. She's the one that found me that day in school so long ago. For that reason I always thought our bond was much stronger than the one I shared with Max. He worked so hard to push who we are to the side in his failing effort to be human, while Isabel was open to the things were can't explain.
And I know she loves me. Not romantically but it's strong and while I might be able to live without Max in my life, I couldn't without Isabel.
Not that she'd let me.
I love her too so I have to do what's right for her and for our baby. Be a family.
Family...that's another aspect of life that has always eluded me. Hank's crap and the families I 've lived in before that were just as bad. The Evans weren't much help either; in them I saw the joy and the happiness that could be found in a family and envied it. I want that. I've always wanted that. And I could have that with Isabel, maybe I, Michael Guerin, can be a part of a family too.
But...
What's holding me back?
Maria.
She's loud, weird, crazy, unpredictable, annoying and a giant pain in my ass.
So why is it so hard to make the decision between the two options? Maria the human crazy chick or Isabel the … the what? The mom?
The dreams may have motivated me somewhat but I did want Maria to be mine. The one thing one this fucked up planet that made me feel good. She makes me feel good.
Running away is starting to look more attractive as I imagine her smile, her lips so pouty and shined with gloss, the way she rolls her eyes when I've said something stupid and the way her mouth opens wide when she's about to yell at me.
And I imagine myself running but not away from this crappy town or this mess I'm in. It's not away from anyone or anything.
Instead it's to the place I need to be. To her, that Maria girl. My Maria.
Run to her window like I did so many nights ago, and tell her to pack a bag so we could go away together. Leaving Roswell is okay as long as she's with me.
But…what about family, Max and Isabel? Our alien heritage? Our family?
So?
When did life get so fucking hard? When did the moments that we thought could last forever, disappear at the drop of a hat? When did I start giving a damn?
I know the answer to that but I still have to make a choice.
"Michael?"
I turn away from Max's window, towards Isabel who enters the room quietly to sit beside me on Max's bed.
"I'm scared"
As I look at her disheveled appearance, and watery eyes, I think that I must look the same way to her. Sad, scared, angry and terrified. Everything I'm feeling, she must be feeling too.
"I don't know what to do..."
I close my eyes and the first thing that comes to mind is Maria. Her image, so full of love and understanding flashes before my eyes and I know she'll understand my choice..
"What are we going to do?"
I pulled Isabel close, wrapping my arms around her as she cried. My own tears joining hers and I knew what we had to do.
No matter how much it hurt.
No matter how much it hurt her.
The End.
