Beware of really minor background spoilers from chapter 170, because this fic takes place during and a little after the flashback in 170. Another RK from your local fanatic, still completely head over heels into this pairing. I don't own no matter how much love I give? Shame…

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Parallel Convenience

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We liked to keep things even. I won't ever ask for his love, as he would have done the same thing in my shoes. We were living on a balance the day everything started and we were careful all along.

Because this sort of equilibrium was hard to maintain.

He liked to laugh at his own jokes and smiled whenever there is the slightest chance. And I liked to keep a straight face and a sharp tongue whenever someone that wasn't him got too near.

And when he leans over to give me a kiss, I will push back with a similar force. When he takes a fist full of my hair to drag me to his level, I will pull at his collar and take a hand full of fire before yanking back with a smirk.

I give, he takes, I took, he gave.

That was the beginning of our trade.

And then we got personal.

He told me his name, his age, his gender, and his problems. But with all his unnecessary smiles and laughter, I still don't understand him one bit. Because he was Rabi and Rabi was a very complex character.

I tried to return the balance and tell him all about my name, my age, my gender, and my problems. We got through halfway before he told me he knew it all by heart shortly after the first time he saw me from across the hall. I didn't know whether I should punch him or thank him but I did know that this balance was long since overdue.

He flashed me a secret grin from a little way off from where I was standing, I didn't like his lack of care, someone could have easily noticed but I also hated the fact that my eyes just kept on stealing glances right his way, uncaring whether he noticed or not.

All the Exorcists and Generals alike were littered across the main landing of our new Head Quarters. Leverrier was standing behind Komui, trained eyes focused as they watched each of us for the slightest signs of betrayal, a rather useless act really.

He was blind to our gestures of care whether it was on the battlefield or relaxing in the cafeteria. With a simple quirk of a pair of lips, we knew which way to dodge at an incoming shower of Akuma bullets. And Leverrier would never understand any of this.

Rinali cringed at each movement of his jaw and shook with fear whenever his eyes would rest on her, even if it was only for a fraction of a second. He talked in that eccentric commanding tone of voice as he spoke of the Moyashi's relation to the Noahs, one in particular, the traitor, the 14th.

I couldn't careless.

It was no concern of mine's; the Moyashi can deal with his own problems. And I watched with a careless frown tossed across my lips as Komui's turn to speak came on. It takes a few years of knowing him to be able to tell the force he had to restrain on himself as he spoke those words. I could read his paling expression from behind those eyes, the tricking trail of sweat from the hate and blame he directed towards the Central and most of all to himself.

I can never understand why anyone would do anything that could tamper with the very moral of their existence. I killed for missions; I harmed those that posed as a threat. And I do as I felt because I simply didn't like to look back and grimace at what I've done.

Looking as Komui forced those words from his throat, I would never want to be in his position. I would rather be a simple soldier playing my part in this war than a man hindered by remorse and a hope that he could have done a better thing yesterday.

And he, I mean the young man toying with the spine of a book; he was a man of the past. Whether that was good or bad, I still couldn't decide. It wasn't in my control even if I did choose. He was Rabi and I was Kanda Yuu, two separate people living two separate lives. We were only together for a fraction of our lifetime simply because of something called convenience.

A simple easy thing that can come and go as it pleased.

Komui was struggling; I picked my gaze up from the cracks on a black tile and rested on the next speaker, one that wasn't planned to even talk at all.

"If that should happen, please kill me."

He picked up where Komui left off.

Not so much of a surprise, I wouldn't hesitate so no need to worry, Moyashi.

Komui seemed to flinch from his words; I didn't need to turn to Rinali to know that her eyes must be watering pools of melted chocolate. She was strong physically and psychologically but when a part of her world asked to be killed without another thought, I guess it really would take a lot to not simply bend over and break in half.

What about Rabi? His eye seemed cold but the angle I was standing at was hard to tell.

Up until now, I haven't seen him since I arrived at the new Head Quarters. He had things to do, duties one after another waiting for him to get his act together. Despite his bubbly layer of sunshine on the outside I could never forget that he was just another Bookman waiting in line.

The heavy scent of ink on his fingers, the crinkling edges of papers at the tip of his hair, it really doesn't take a lot to remember his position in this war. Whether it was at a dark bend of a hallway in the old Head Quarters or in his room until Bookman comes in and I asked, voice masked with pretense ice for Mugen back in the form of a threat.

I would always remember the taste of ink as he run a finger along my bottom lip or the raw texture of a fresh paper cut fluttering down my opened collar.

I could hear the words in his ears and the tiny print across his eye. He would always be the same and I can never change.

Even with his silent pleas and shallow strokes, I know I am only a source of distraction just so he can pull through. Because I know as well as he that this war will be the biggest and a will, no matter how strong could easily be swept up and carried far far away.

And with the way I pushed back, hands on a bare hip, fingers locked in between strands of red, I am sure he knew, since the start of it all, he was simply a concentration so I would not stray too far from the road I needed to walk. I didn't want to be taken in by the demons at bay, and he, Rabi was the one that pulled me back just when I was about to step off the edge.

We acted as a lever for each other, I to keep him sane from the 48 previous identities and his name as an exorcist versus his life long goal to become Bookman, and he to keep me sane when another petal wilts then falls to the bottom of the cold glass world that my life was bottled up in.

Leverrier finally dismissed us all, voice annoyingly smug. I didn't have a personal hatred towards him but I couldn't take a liking either, the way he stood, the way he talked, the way he carried himself, it made my temper flare a lot easier than it would with other people.

Solemn gloom settled over as we all made to leave, stepping once again back into our previous sacrificing roles of saving this world. Some seemed lost, still dazed from the shock of the news. And some seemed to be accepting of it all, like the Moyashi as he laid a hand on Rinali's shoulder to guided her back to her room, where she could cry without the intense gaze of the inspector.

I guess he has internally accepted this decision already. I think the Moyashi knew what to do, and if he really didn't, I will just go and slice him. As simple as that.

But one day, posed in the future, whether it was near or far I couldn't decide, Rinali will sit on the ground, eyes cold as she watch her world crumble into nothing but blood and lifeless bodies piled one after another.

Why the excess feelings of companionship, friendship, relationship? These were all just sticky strings pulling us back, dead weights tied to ourselves. Nothing but a set back. In order to achieve the perfect balance, you must know that one day everything on the other side must leave.

And we, we as in Rabi and I were careful not to fall as two because without one stable side to our equation, all would collapse and none could be restored.

I turned a hallway covered by unfamiliar carpets as the dim lights glowed a shallow orange. He reached out, long fingers binding around my wrist as he pulled me into the shadow, plunging me into the dark. His other hand found mine's and he latched on, fingers easily lacing between my own. He pulled me closer with a small tug, our bare arms touched and I could feel his skin against mine's.

I could barely make out the shape of his now dull red mob of hair and the darker than black eye patch along the curve of his right eye socket.

"You were staring at me." He declared halfheartedly, his amused smile seemed to stand out from the rest of his features and I hated myself for noticing the slight quirk of his lips.

"It was just a glance." I retorted with a huff, it came out in a rush, not at all the way it sounded in my head.

"A glance is unusual for you." Rabi blew a lock of red from his eye, his warm breath landed somewhere on my forehead and I pulled back out of instincts. "So tell me, Yuu."

"Have you been missing me?"

I snorted, right in front of his smug grin. As if I would give him the satisfaction beside anything but a cut to a cheek by Mugen. (Yes, I've done it before.) "In your dreams, baka."

His grin didn't falter; neither did it move in the slightest, not like I expected it to anyways.

"Then I better drag you into bed with me." He gave a quiet laugh that only we could hear; it was overlapped by the dark, hiding it from any prying ears. "Maybe then you would look at me for longer than two seconds."

He didn't wait for me to respond before pulling me closer, my lower half was pressed right against his; I had to bend my back to avoid having my face buried into the crook of his neck. His body slumped as he leaned over to rest a chin on my left shoulder, he felt so much heavier than the last time he has draped his arms around me.

"I am so tired, Yuu." I could almost hear his eyes fluttered shut at the words.

And before I could give him an awkward pat on his back, his lips were already moving, telling me all that he heard and all that he saw in the room without privacy, the room where the Moyashi learned of his origin and how gray his road ahead was really.

I didn't stop him; I simply let him thread his fingers into the ends of my ponytail. I knew he needed to tell someone all that he came to know before he finally explodes. And who was better than a man who didn't even care?

It didn't take long before he was finally finished; he was done heaving everything from the inside to drop all that dead weight at my feet. I felt his fingers gently running along the base of my shirt, feeling the coarse stitching.

"Now?" I asked as soon as the last words of his confession came out.

"What better time can you think of, Yuu?" And then his lips moved, not to speak but to drop his signatures across my skin, nipping and sucking at the flesh. I could feel his lips curving into a smile and I knew that he was going to be all right for just another night.

The balance in his world was restored and my end of the deal was complete, well at least for tonight.

XXX Kuro

Lighthearted— I think that is the word I could come up with after rereading this RK. XD Was it sad? I didn't think so. Was it happy? I didn't think so either. I guess I have to settle for the middle on this one.

By the way, it has been a while since I written in Kanda's POV, hope it wasn't too rusty XD But I still think Rabi's POV is easier to write for some strange reasons XD Review if you feel any love towards them? :3