Title: Second Thoughts
Author(s): Selina/Aggy
Fandom: Star Wars
Timeframe: After ANH
Characters: Han Solo, Princess Leia
Genre: drabble
Summary: It's time for Han to leave the Rebels.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, wish I did. I'm not making any money off this so please don't sue me.

Feedback: Pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top?
Notes: This was written for the challenge posted on swffchallenge

Monthly Challenge #3 is 'Tragedy brings people closer together. Word count requirements between 100 and 1000 words.

Second Thoughts

Selina/Aggy

The Rebels were good people and that was his problem. He'd spent his entire life surrounded by the scum of the Galaxy. He'd known good, honest people existed, but in an abstract sort of way. Sort of like knowing Krayat dragons existed even though he'd never seen one.

But now he knew them. He knew their names, knew their stories. He knew what sorrows and injustices had drawn them into the Rebel Alliance. Even worse, he was friends with them.

He knew he had to leave. He had to get back to Tatooine before Jabba sent more bounty hunters after him. He'd been lucky that Greedo had been the first one to find him. The Rodian had been an idiot, forgetting every rule of survival so that he could gloat over an 'easy kill.' Eventually Han would screw up or the hunters would get better.

But knowing that didn't make it any easier. He was growing to like these people. Especially the Kid and the Princess. Chewie liked them too. He didn't want to leave, but they had to before they became trophies on some bounty hunter's belt.

Maybe, after they'd paid off Jabba, they could come back. If there was anything to come back to. He wasn't sure if the ragged band of Rebels could survive against the Empire but they were almost Corellian in their determination. It didn't matter that the odds were against them, they still fought for what they believed in.

He respected that sense of determination, making it even harder to tell them goodbye.

He decided to talk to the Princess first. She'd understand. She'd be angry and condemn him for the mercenary that he was, but she'd understand. Luke wouldn't. He was too much of an idealist to understand that he HAD to leave. It would hurt the Kid, but Leia would explain it all to him later.

He found her standing outside the Temple, staring out at the rainforest that seemed to cover Yavin IV. It wasn't like her to just stand there watching the wildlife. He'd known her for only a short time, but from experience, he knew that she was always moving, always acting, always doing something. To see her so still was unnerving.

He allowed the heels of his boots to drag against the gray paving stones to give her warning that someone was near. Slowly, she looked over her shoulder, giving him that regal look that seemed to be her default setting, then turned her attention back to the forest.

He stood beside her, staring out at the tangle of green in front of them. He waited for her to speak, but the silence stretched between them until finally he had to say something. "I need to talk to you, Princess . . ."

She turned, looking up at him with those big brown eyes. She'd lost everything and for one aching moment, that loss filled her gaze. Then, she blinked, becoming the responsible leader everyone needed.

He didn't need a leader. He could lead himself. He'd been doing it from the age of nineteen. But what about what SHE needed? In one blinding explosion, the Empire had taken away everything and everyone she loved. She had no family. She had nothing except her Rebellion to comfort her. And that would be a cold comfort when the reality of what she'd lost set in.

She needed someone to look after her. To rein in that innocent righteousness before it got her killed. She may think she knew about the dark side of things, but she had been sheltered from the harshness of the Galaxy. That inexperience would get her killed if she didn't have someone watching her back.

Han swallowed hard. It had been a long time since he'd thought about anyone but himself or Chewie. It'd been a long time since he'd seen the bigger picture. His focus had always been himself, his friend, and his Falcon. But now . . . The Imperials had destroyed a whole kriffing planet. How could anyone let that sort of evil rule the Galaxy? What would they do next? How many more years of freedom could he and Chewie have with the Empire creating weapons like the Death Star?

"What is it, Han?" she asked, shocking him out of his thoughts.

"I need a place to hide." The lies came easily, as polished and smooth as ever. "Three maybe four months, tops. I thought maybe I could stick around until the bounty hunters got bored and found another mark."

Her smile was blinding, erasing all traces of her sorrow. But like that glimpse into her inner pain, it lasted only a moment. Then she was all cool indifference. "Won't sticking around ruin your reputation?"

Han grinned, knowing how it irritated her. "Pirates don't worry about their reputations, Sweetheart." She didn't even notice the nickname. That was disappointing. He'd have to try harder to annoy her.

"Then it's settled then," she said, only a trace of that warmth lingering in her voice, but he knew that she was pleased. And for some strange reason, that mattered to him.

"Looks like it," he agreed.

"Don't forget to tell Luke that you're staying."

"I won't." But first he had to tell Chewie that they were staying.

He was about to leave when he heard her say. "Thank you."

He knew that her words had nothing to do with his promise to talk to the Kid and everything to do with him staying. He walked away so she could preserve her dignity and so she wouldn't see his smile. He couldn't let her see that he liked knowing she liked having him around.

It would ruin his reputation.